Messymom – Page 44 – Making the Best of What Looks Like a Mess

3 Year Gap

Tomorrow I am 35 weeks along in this pregnancy! Let’s just say that if history repeats itself (as it has consistently done with all of my other pregnancies) then a month from now I will NOT be pregnant. I might still be in the hospital, but more than likely I’ll have my baby! So, I am getting so very excited, but also nervous.

Even though, yes, I have done this 3 times before it was over three years ago. For some reasons I have forgotten so much since then. All three of my children are 2.5 years apart, like clock work. This will be the first time the youngest is over three years old. It’s not that big of a difference, but somehow it is. I haven’t breastfed in over a year. I haven’t changed a diaper in 8 months. We rarely use a stroller and it’s been a long time since our home has seen a pacifier, crib, or highchair. We have one child proof doorknob, other than we just don’t do baby proof these days.

It wasn’t like that with my other pregnancies. When each child turned two I already knew I was pregnant so we never fully vacated the baby zone.

Obviously a three year gap is NOTHING compared to the many friends and family I know that had surprise pregnancies after 8, 9, or even 10 + years! I could tell you some stories (and you probably have some for me). So I’m not implying it’s a big gap I’m just admitting that I feel slightly more rusty this go round. It’s like I have to loosen those muscles again and make more of a conscious effort to remember what post partum stuff I need or did my belly really stretch this much before!?

I told the midwife that I had a growth spurt. I was convinced this baby was bigger and would come sooner than my other three. As far as we can tell from her exam that is not the case, but I just don’t remember stretching this much!

On the other end of the spectrum I feel like enough of a veteran that I don’t worry too much about what to expect. In fact I feel old when I am on Facebook reading about all these new moms touting what the latest and greatest must-have baby products are.

First I feel old just for being so out of the trend loop and then I feel really, really old because my reaction is usually

Eh, you don’t need any of that overpriced mumbo jumbo. You got some diapers, boobs, and a carseat? Then yer all set.

Yeah, the voice in my head is a hillbilly apparently.

Anyway, I will definitely keep everyone posted. This is the last week that I have no prenatal appointments. After this I’m full term and I’ll be seeing the midwife once a week. At that point it will be all hands on deck as far as nesting, planning, and preparing. You can expect some tunnel vision. I apologize in advance for the lack of diverse content on the blog. It’s baby or bust!

By Natalie|2015-10-19T09:16:41+00:00October 19, 2015|Pregnancy & Birth|8 Comments

Mirrored Writing

Have you ever seen the servers write their name upside down at Macaroni Grill? I waited tables there for years and really had the backwards cursive signature down pat. It took practice though. It wasn’t like I just automatically write in reverse although sometimes it looks like my daughter SJ does.

She hasn’t been writing for long, but in the past couple years I have noticed a trend where she not only writes from right to left, but the letters are often backwards as well.

Above is a drawing of her dad teaching her to ride her bike. The names are Daddy, Ezra, Sedona, and Mommy. Not all spelled correctly, but clearly written starting on the right. Writing her family’s names is one of her favorite things to do and it always looks something like this.

Of course I freaked out a little bit when I saw this repeatedly because she has been a detail oriented perfectionists since she was two. I could tell story after story of how visual and focused she is. I think some of it comes from her delayed access to sound. So I knew it must be something that was a mix up going on inside her mind and not just her being silly or sloppy.

It sounds like I am the perfectionist, but I am not! Not at all. Thanks to her speech delay I have never expected her to be able to write at age four. I was just worried because I hated the idea of her as a special needs child to have another hurdle to face.

I do realize dyslexia is more than just backwards letters, but at the same time I didn’t like how consistent she was with this mirrored writing. All kids mix up letters and left and right from time to time, but this was so thorough!

The above is her copy of the “EAT MOR CHIKIN” sign from Chic-fil-A. So in this case she was looking directly at the message she was copying. The words below were completely from memory and those are some of her sight words. I, am, the, little.

Here is the beginning of the alphabet (she did this in the car recently)

And here is the same image MIRRORED. There are a few backwards letters like J, N, and P, but she’s still learning. I think if she knew the “right” way to write them then she probably would have written all of them backwards!

I could give other examples about reading or journaling from back to front, but I have been asking about this for years and the experts didn’t seem concerned. She goes to a special private school where they give frequent assessments and go through everything with a fine tooth comb. They told me not to worry. When she is at school with the lined paper and direct instruction she seems to be doing everything the correct way from left to right. Most importantly she really enjoys reading and writing. And she absolutely loves homework!

Still, at the last parent teacher conference I brought it up AGAIN and they looked through some samples I brought and explained why the order and precision of her work does not show signs of dyslexia at all. Not that I think dyslexia is the worst thing in the world. Like I said though, she has enough extra obstacles due to her hearing loss without adding any other disabilities.

The more people I talk to and the more I research online it looks like her mirrored writing can probably be attributed to her being left handed. Just one of the many resources I have found to support this is from the Better Health Channel and it says

Left-handed children learning to write often write back to front (‘mirror’ writing). This is a natural inclination, not a sign of dyslexia, and will resolve given time, practice and encouragement.

She just has to be the minority in every aspect doesn’t she? That little stinker! I am just joking. I am serious though about being grateful that this whole mystery is pretty much solved.

Have you seen or known any mirror writers? This was a first for me.

By Natalie|2015-10-16T14:35:00+00:00October 16, 2015|Schooling, Special Needs|8 Comments

School is Cool

I realize I already talked about school yesterday and don’t want to bore you all, but I do have more to share and I’ll tell you why.

1. I am extremely passionate about education. If we can get our kids to love to learn then the sky is the limits on what they will achieve through self motivation.

2. Public schools get so much bad press and some of it’s deserved, but what about all the of the good, life changing things that happening!? I want to be someone who shines some light on the positive and gives credit where credit is due to all the phenominal teachers out there busting their butts.

3. Lastly, I also love homeschooling families and have a great amount of respect for the mothers that are investing everything into teaching their own children. For all my friends and reader who homeschool it is my hope that some of these ideas could possibly be inspirational.

So here are some fun highlights from this first semester of the 2015/2016 school year.

Kindergarten

Ohhhh, it’s so hard for me to narrow it down. They do so many cool hands on learning activities for each subject and theme it is incredible. The time spent learning about maps is probably my favorite so far. First of all I told you that SJ learned her city, state, and country. She also learned the pledge and I put that video up on youtube this morning so here it is (not perfect, but still a big deal!).

Then with permission from parents they looked up each student’s address in google maps and displayed the homes on the smart board. SJ LOVED this. I was a little reluctant because we live in such a dumpy old house (for my small space peeps the garage isn’t even ours), but at this age the innocence and appreciation children have astounds me and she was so proud of what she calls her “rectangle house”

Another activity they did with maps was to bring in a stuffed animal from home and leave it at the school overnight. The next day the students went into the class room to find all their furry buddies were gone and there were foot prints leaving the classroom! They posted some of these hilarious photos on the Facebook page. SJ’s toy is the unicorn.

That morning each child was given a clue and a map to try to navigate through the school and find their beloved toy.

In the end each student was reunited with their animal and they had such a fun time while learning how to use maps!

2nd Grade

As with SJ’s school I could just go on and on all day about what Z comes home learning and how they make interesting for the kids.

For the lesson on fossils they used different materials to imprint shells and compare how the materials held the shape, which one worked better and why.

They also had a lesson in digging with tooth picks for fossils using chocolate chip cookies. The goal was to find as many chocolate chips as possible while keeping them in their original condition. Sounds delicious!

Also, the second graders have been reading and writing about farms and they had a very special guest who owns a farm, but also happens to be the PRINCIPAL!

I love their school principal so much he is really involved and I love how he cares so much about connecting with the parents and children.

Quick story to share what I mean. One day I was picking Z up from school and he said he had something he wanted to show the principal so he bolted through the administrative office down the hall to the principals office. I was mortified! It happened so fast I couldn’t stop him. I mean he might as well have broken into the white house. You just don’t do that! The secretaries came over to see what was needed and just then the principal walked up and Z showed him the little game he made. The principal was completely interested and focused on every word this little 1st grader had to say and was showing some of the other staff members what impressive work they were doing in his class. As I watched and eaves dropped from a distance I held back the tears.

It was the perfect picture of our heavenly Father and the relationship he has with us. He has authority and power and yet he give us ACCESS so that even if it’s something so simple or seemingly insignificant we have his undivided attention. Oh. How grateful I am for the direct line I have of communion with God. Ephesians 3:12 In him and by faith in him we can approach God with freedom and confidence. Thank you Lord.

I know that’s a total side note, and I understand their have to be some rules and boundaries at school, blah blah blah, but that was such a wonderful reminder for me of Christ’s love for us and now I have it written down.

Okay, so now that this post is really lengthy and all over the place I will just end with saying yes I do love my children’s schools. I am so happy that the Lord has placed us here and divinely orchestrated everything for them to be in such good care. I look forward to the months ahead.

By Natalie|2015-10-15T12:23:05+00:00October 15, 2015|Schooling|8 Comments

Kindergarten Success!

I’ll admit to being apprehensive about the day SJ would go to Kindergarten. She has always been so far behind in speech (due to her late identified hearing loss) that I just didn’t know if she would even be ready in time. At the end of her IEP meetings they always ask if I have any goals that I would personally like to add to her plan and I would always say that I want to reach academic goals like knowing the alphabet or being able to count past 10. It’s been a big mountain in my mind. Last evaluation report I received she was at the level of a 3 year old with her speech. My concern was how on earth she would be able to not only catch up with her vocabulary and articulation, but to learn reading, writing, and mathmatics at the same time!

Well, it’s been a little less than 2 months since her first day of Kindergarten and I have been completely blown away with her progress.

I know I sound dramatic, but I really cannot express enough how amazed I have been with what she has learned in such a small amount of time. It is is unbelievable!!!

We are talking about a girl that has made great strides in speech, but she rarely talks in complete sentences, doesn’t know the ABC’s (the song, or the order, but she does actually recognize them) and a lot of the words she does know are extremely difficult for her to enunciate. I am not undermining how far she has come, but I didn’t see her being ready for Kindergarten work at all, until she came home and completely proved me wrong!

In the past 8 weeks she has learned when her birthday is, she is really close to knowing all of the months of the year and days of the week. She learned her city and state and how to spell it! She has come home talking about President Obama, The White House, and saying the pledge of Allegiance! In this video she leaves out “for which it stands”. It’s hit or miss, but she’s almost got it! *Never mind about the video for now. It’s too large to post, but I’ll work on that.

She knows several sight words and last night when she did her homework she was reading simple familiar sentences on her own and she had to write the missing word with multiple choice sight words. She did the whole lesson on her own (other than one written backwards, which is another topic entirely. I’ll have to tell you all about it sometime)

After she finished her assignment she said “I tell teacher I do homework by myself. Mommy, not help me.” I looked her and said “Yeah. That’s right” and she said “You proud me.” It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t Are you proud of me? She said it as a fact, because it’s true. I am proud of her. I am so so proud of her. I just about cried in that moment. She has to work twice as hard just to get to the starting point, but she’s doing it.

I was going to do a post about this anyway, but it’s perfect timing because Ohio Valley Voices (SJ’s school) has just a couple days left in a competition to win $10,000 as one of Cincinnati’s favorite nonprofits. They are only a few hundred votes behind first place. It’s easy to vote and it would mean so much to me, SJ, and all the people impacted by this incredible school.

Go to moment.com> Choose Cincinnati> Fill in your name, email, business name, and phone number> Choose Ohio Valley Voices (I think it’s the 6th one down on the list)>click VOTE. It takes seconds to complete. The short form will ask for a business name. I don’t even know what you are supposed to put there, but I just put OVV, so feel free to do the same.

Thank you so much for supporting such a wonderful cause. I can’t guarantee that we’ll win, but it sure would help the school if we did!

This has been the best school year so far. I don’t know why I ever doubted.

By Natalie|2015-10-14T15:14:16+00:00October 14, 2015|Schooling, Special Needs|0 Comments

Update on “The Jeremy and Natalies”

I have some exciting news to share with all of you, but before I get right to the announcement let me start with some interesting facts about my “unique” family.

Close to 15 years ago I married J, the love of my life. Although, I call him J for short on the blog his name is actually Jeremy. I also have a brother named Jeremy, so everyone also thought that was funny.

Almost 10 years later my brother Jeremy married the love of his life who happens to be named Natalie (which is also mine name).

That’s right. Two brother in laws named Jeremy who are both married to a Natalie. Out of the three of us siblings half of us have the same names. It’s weird, but we’re pretty used to it.

Shortly after I was pregnant with my 2nd child I found out the other Jeremy and Natalie were pregnant with their 1st. We both had girls.

They are 4 months apart and currently the cutest and best of friends at 5 years old.

They are both in Kindergarten and loosing teeth at the same time!

We seem to take turns having babies back to back. The ages from left to right (for the photo below which was taken this weekend) are 8, 5, 5, 3, 3, 1. Although some of those numbers are about to change with birthdays quickly approaching.

Most of you know I am expecting our 2nd daughter who is due in 43 days (not that I’m counting), but a lot of you don’t know that my sister in law Natalie is also expecting again. We don’t know the gender yet, but I am so thrilled that we get to be pregnant together one more time and our babies will once again be just a few months apart!

8, 5, 5, 3, 3, 1, due in November, due in March.

We get a lot of comments and questions from friends and strangers. One year they even threw in a joke about us in the annual Christmas comedy sketch at church. So far no one has offered us our own reality show, which is for the best. I don’t think the world is ready for that.

It’s been a fun to watch our families and kids grow and in a way we’ve just begun. These next two will make 8 grandchildren in 8 years for my mom and dad.

I know they couldn’t be happier.

By Natalie|2015-10-12T09:01:25+00:00October 12, 2015|Babies, Family, My Life|5 Comments

10 Ways to Save Money on Your Costume Stash

In my dream home there would be a play room with a costume closet and I’d have a little stage and dress up area. For now a box full of costumes and a big dose of imagination is just as good. Our stash includes a variety of characters in each size from youngest to oldest, but it’s taken a while to get to that point.

Our first Halloween as parents. Z was less than 2 months old

I have gone into some of those speciality stores and found really simple kids costumes for 50 bucks! I am way too cheap to invest that kind of money into play clothes. Instead I have tried to get deals when they come up.

Here are 10 ways to stock up on costumes without breaking the bank.

1. Buy used

This one is obvious! I buy almost everything used anyway, but always keep an eye out for costumes at thrift stores, consignment shops, and yard sales. That’s where you are going to find the best deals. Some of them have hardly ever (maybe even never) been worn.

2. Shop Babies R Us

I know that is so randomly specific, but almost all of my toddler costumes came from Babies R Us either right before Halloween or right after. They are so stinkin’ cheap when they are marked down. I am talking like three dollars! Of course now that I make that announcement they won’t have any deals this year and you guys can throw tomatoes at me for leading you astray. I hope that’s not the case though.

3. Consider a cow costume

One of the costumes I got for $2.50 at Babies R Us was a baby cow costume which has gotten us several free meals on Chic-fil-A cow days. So if you know you are into that it doesn’t hurt to have a few cow costumes in your stash because kids love ’em and they pay for themselves. In our case we have gotten almost $200 worth of free meals over the past 6 years thanks to dressing like a cow.

4. Make your own

I am not that crafty in this area. My mom is the one who does all the sewing and she has made some super cute costumes. The one of SJ as a gnome will always be a favorite of mine! She also made all but one of the cow costumes above. It doesn’t have to be that elaborate though. There are so many ideas on pinterest you could just go crazy with all the cheap and easy options.

5. Christmas gift costumes

One good thing about giving costumes as Christmas gifts is that you get them on clearance the month before! You save money by killing two birds with one stone when you get a Christmas present and Halloween costume all at once.

6. The child pays for their own costume

Seriously! If you have chores or jobs for your kids (which I highly recommend) that doesn’t mean they should just blow it all on junk toys that will end up lost or broken within weeks. I often have my kids earn things that I would have otherwise paid for like a birthday present for their friend’s party, or a book from the book fair, or their HALLOWEEN COSTUME. When Z was 5 he saved up for a mario costume that he wore several years in a row. This helps kids learn the value of things rather than just having it appear via mom and dad. They feel proud and accomplished and it saves money because you get child labor out of it (I’m joking).

7. Pajamas

Costume pajamas are so popular right now. You can’t go anywhere without seeing pajamas that look like a super hero or a princess. And then there are those huge onesies that look like animals and all that. I saw several people wearing those for halloween last year and we’ve done this too. It saves money when your costume can double as pajamas.

8. Borrow

Borrowing a costume will not help you build your private collection, but if you have an idea in mind for a special costume don’t feel like you have to go purchase all the pieces! Z’s school had a mother son costume night last October and we were able to borrow all this western wear. It worked out perfectly and we didn’t have to spend a dime. If it’s not something you think you are going to use over and over then save your dough!

9. Repurpose

Remember dressing up in stuff from the old trunk in grandma’s attic? Me neither, but it happens in the movies. Anyway, if there is an old neck tie, dress, hat, or sunglasses etc. that you are thinking about throwing out consider whether it could work for the costume box before sending off to goodwill. Same applies to old dance or sports uniforms.

10. Pass it along

When you have multiple kids then you can get multiple uses out of each costume. It’s been fun to watch Ezie wear some of the costumes that belonged to Z. We’ve had other people bless us with some of their old costumes too and I plan to pay it forward with anything that is left in decent condition once my kids are all grown up. Although, that’s really, REALLY far away and I don’t want to think about it right now!

Those are all my tips for accumulating a costume collection on the cheap. It doesn’t even have to be for Halloween, but this certainly is a great time of year to be thinking about it.

By Natalie|2015-10-09T12:02:16+00:00October 9, 2015|Frugal Living|11 Comments

Family Friendly Fun for FREE!

It’s October! Unfortunately that means dodging creepy-bloody-death decorations everywhere, but it is also one of my favorite times of year because I LOVE fall and I love costumes. I almost can’t even handle all the imaginative creativity and cuteness every year when I see kids dressed up.

There are also so many activities going on that you can wear your costumes to. Here are three of the free family friendly dress up activities we’ll be participating in again this year.

Chucktober

If your child wears a costume to Chuck E. Cheese ANY day in October you get 50 free tickets. That’s 150 free tickets between my three kiddos. We went over and over again last year. The kids wore different costumes every time (we’ve accumulated a collection which I’ll talk about tomorrow). I bought a handful of tokens ONE time that they used very sparingly throughout the month. The fun of Chuck E. Cheese is only amplified when you get to make believe!

Ikea

Our local Ikea is hosting their trick or treat event on a Tuesday October 27th (the day kids eat free in the cafe!) You can get more use out of your costume while going from station to station collecting candy and doing crafts and having a free meal. Check your local Ikea, mall, and retailers for events like this that could be happening throughout the month.

Church

Our church does a trunk-or-treat fall festival every Halloween. It’s always a lot of fun. I’ve lived a lot of places and no matter where we are there are always tons of free church, school, library, and community organized activities available at no cost. So I’m sure that there is something near you. Some of these options are also great if the weather is bad, which seems to happen a lot here in Ohio!

So even though you may not have the same exact events available in your area, check online (or click the links above for more details on the three I’ve mentioned here). Between that and all the farms and pumpkin patches there is sure to be something going on all month long that lets you have some super frugal family time.

Why not get more than just one use out of those costumes?

By Natalie|2015-10-08T10:45:40+00:00October 8, 2015|Frugal Living|6 Comments

While this is not a sponsored post I did receive a complimentary subscription and promotional item in exchange for my review.

I said I would be bombarding you with pregnancy pics and showing off all of my Bella Gravida maternity clothes so here is the first installment!

Last week these packages showed up at my doorstep.

What a treat!

The first outfit (shown on the top left) was a basic black dress by Imanimo. I wanted to like this dress. It was soft sweatshirt material, but modern and chic.

It had so many fun details like the zipper in the back

Or the asymmetrical grey piping and kangaroo pocket in the front.

It’s a cute dress and I did have an appointment this week that it was totally appropriate for, but in the end I would say the dress did not do me any favors. The cut on my body was like wearing a potato sack (you probably can’t tell from these poses, but just take my word for it). Oh well, it was still worth a try! That’s one of the perks of Bella Gravida maternity rental wear. You can try stuff without any obligation to keep it, but if you do love it they do have purchasing options available.

Next up I got to try this Everly Grey Eunice Dress. It was much shorter than I expected, but I paired it with leggings so it was more like a shirt.

The first day I wore it I got to go on a little coffee date with J followed by attending Z’s graduation from his robotics class. It happened to be really cold that day. The red lips, boots, and trench coat made it such a classic autumn look. I loved it and wore it again to church the next day.

Lastly, I had a similar look with with this lightweight knit sweater. It’s perfect for this unpredictable weather because you can stay cool when it warms up, but it’s not summery. Coincidentally it’s called the Evelyn Top and Evelyn is what we plan to use as our baby girl’s middle name. Ahhhh! Did I even just say that!? I’ll admit, I have had a really hard time not just announcing the name.

As long as I’m talking about baby stuff, I should mention that I am 33 weeks now. I feel like she is going to be a fairly big baby. I probably have just forgotten what it feels like to be “with child”, but my stomach is so heavy and tight! The braxton hicks have been increasing and so has the insomnia. Also, I am all over the map emotionally. Last week I felt invicible whereas this week I have felt a ton of anxiety, but I am hanging in there.

I have been more intentional about taking ALL of my vitamins. I want to be in tip top shape when it comes time for labor. My next prenatal appointment is on Monday. I’ll be sure to give updates on that and my next Bella Gravida package!

This whole rental maternity fashion experience has been awesome, but it’s even better getting to share it with you, so thanks for that!

By Natalie|2015-10-07T12:38:30+00:00October 7, 2015|Pregnancy & Birth|12 Comments

God is in the Dumpster

I wrote this when we lived in the apartment, but I am just now sharing it. It wasn’t that long ago though, so I’ll just leave the words as they were originally written.

It feels offensive to even type that title. I am not in anyway trying to imply that my precious Savior belongs in the garbage. It’s an amazing paradox though. To think about how our awesome creator can be so holy, so sovereign and royal, and yet He sent His Son to come down to where we are and meet humanity in the depths of their desperation. How often did the Pharisees disapprove of who Christ was hanging out with or where he was hanging out because it seemed unclean to them? This has been on my mind a lot lately.

We live in an apartment where some of our neighbors are abusive alcoholics, drug addicts, and thieves living in poverty. Our other neighbors are just normal clean-cut people like us. It’s probably just like your neighborhood really. Except people here don’t pretend as much. There is no dressing it up.

We live in a big complex and our building happens to be closest to the dumpster. It’s convenient actually. Whenever the trash can is full I don’t have to far to go to dispose of it. Plus my kids love it when they can catch a glimpse of the enormous trash truck that picks up the larger than life Rumpke bins. They watch in amazement as the robotic vehicle hoists each metal box up in the air to dump out all of it junk and smash it down into bits.

I’m thankful for the dumpsters. Of all the things I won’t miss about being in this place I’m going to miss the dumpster. I know that sounds strange. It’s ugly and it’s smelly, but God has used it to provide for our family in ways that are actually quite miraculous. I shared the story on Facebook the other day about how I had sorted through a bunch of clutter in my room and had separated what was left into three bags. I wanted a better storage system for my scarves, gloves, and winter hats, but I couldn’t come up with anything so I just put the items into plastic bags for the time.

Later that night I saw these three bins sitting outside of one of the dumpsters. Two of them still had tags on them! Stuff like that isn’t that uncommon for me. I really can’t remember all of the items I have found, but some things include Christmas decorations like this mat that I found at Christmas time when we didn’t have anything to decorate with. It certainly brought Holiday cheer to the kids faces each time they came home.

Or this North Face Jacket in perfect condition.

SJ loved it when I found this folding play hut.

And then there is the umbrella stroller we have gotten so much use out of.

That’s not even half of it. Most of the time the decent stuff is left outside of the dumpster, but every once in a while it’s actually inside, but sitting on top of the trash with a bunch of other home goods. For those worried about germs a little scrub down and some lysol is all you need and I have never taken anything that looked nasty or that was worthless to me.

My friends have questioned me on why there is so much “nice” trash around and my theory is that some people are evicted or move in a hurry and when the clean up crew comes through they just throw everything out. Maybe some people purposefully leave stuff outside of the dumpster knowing that their trash will be a treasure picked up by someone else?

You can try to explain it however you want, but the fact of the matter is I have collected a lot of useful things out of those dumpsters and I share this story as a testimony. In one of our lowest times God has provided in the most unlikely of ways. Even just little things. Why wouldn’t he? I mean when you think about some of the miracles in the Bible with pulling coins out of a fishes mouth, or spitting in the mud and putting it on a blind man’s eye? Yuck.

Maybe God wants you to step out of your comfort zone and get a little bit dirty this week. Not just to do it for the heck of it, but out of obedience. Perhaps He wants you to seek him in some of those dark and smelly places where you usually don’t venture. It could be physical or it could be totally spiritual. I have no idea, but I do know that sometimes we miss out on the blessing because we are in our clean safe holy place. I am not convinced we need to stay there.

In your own way and by His leading I challenge you to look for God in the dumpster.

By Natalie|2015-10-06T22:57:45+00:00October 5, 2015|My Life, Simple Living|27 Comments

How to Respond to Whining and Model Behavior

I have heard people teach that the best way to encourage your child to read is for them to see you reading. I have heard the same concept about eating healthy, and being eager to learn or try new things, or being active… The list goes on and on. Children are very in tune to our actions and especially when they are younger they are going to mimic our behavior. It is safe to say that actions truly do speak louder than words and the best way to lead is by example.

The way you demonstrate self control and self regulation to your children will determine what they give back to you.

OUCH! I have a hard time with this, especially when we are running late. Is it even humanly possible to be a positive example when we are running late?

As hard as it is, it is still an important reminder that no matter how much you try to train, teach, or bombard your child with these learning opportunities it isn’t going to amount to much unless it means something to you and you are living it out. One of my favorite quotes is from Naomi Wolf and it says

“A mother who radiates self-love and self-acceptance actually vaccinates her daughter against low self-esteem.”

I hear so many mother’s say they don’t want their daughters to be insecure like they are. So they lavish their little girls with compliments and then turn around and talk about their own bodies in a way that is degrading. This method is INEFFECTIVE! You can’t just talk the talk honey, you have got to walk the walk.

My 2 year old is at the stage where he copies everything we say. EVERYTHING. It definitely makes us more aware of our words. My 4 year old, who is deaf, is more in tune to facial expressions so sometimes when I am trying to communicate with her it is like looking in a mirror. This video is from a while ago, and I know I look ridiculous, but it shows what I am talking about.

How comfortable are you with your children mirroring your actions? All of this just continues with one of the main themes of Teachable Parenting, which is that we set the tone in our home by the kind of environment we create. One of my favorite techniques that I read from Love and Logic is “I will respond when your voice sounds like mine”. This is an extremely helpful line to use with screaming or whining. Not only does it defuse the situation by giving them simple instructions, but it’s always a reminder for me that Oh yeah, I have to watch my voice too! If I bark at them and scream “I said I would respond when your voice sounds like miiiiine!!!” Then that would defeat the purpose wouldn’t it? So it keeps me in check and it also reminds me that I am an example to them. This is also why I have a hard time saying don’t hit followed by a little swat on the diaper. I’ve done it, but the message seems conflicting.

Again, this is why it is so important to discipline with empathy and respect because you are showing your child how they deserve to be treated and how they should be interacting with others (remember the idea that you teach them what their inner voice sounds like). Teachable Parenting is about bringing a culture of honor into the home. That doesn’t mean you are not in charge.

Modeling the ideal behavior is not going to happen over night, and we’ll never be perfect. For now I totally recommend trying that tip.

“I will be happy to respond when your voice sounds like mine.” It’s worth a try.