Messymom – Page 45 – Making the Best of What Looks Like a Mess

Taking a Break From the 31 Day Challenge

In 2013 I joined up with a large group of bloggers who committed to write on one topic everyday for 31 days in October. It was an amazing experience. I did again last year. So much good has come out of both of these series.

The first was Lots of Hope in a Little Home which was about our family of 5 living in less than 800 square feet.

This series has encouraged and impacted more people than I could have ever possibly imagined! I give glory to God for using what could have been a very rotten time in our life and turning it into something to help so many.

The next series was Teachable Parenting.

Thanks to this series I have been able to connect with many other women for networking, prayer, and encouragement. I still hear wonderful feedback about Teachable Parenting and I plan to make a book based off of it one day.

I know I sound like I am being overly dramatic, but if it were not for the 31 day challenge my blog and therefor my life would be different than what it is today. That’s the truth.

This year I had a topic. I had written down many ideas and started drafting and outlining. I signed up and was ready to go. Then I started to pray and consider whether or not that is what I was supposed to be doing right now. It’s a lot of work you guys! In response I felt like the Lord started leading me in another direction and focus for October and since then I have just had a peace about not participating in 31 Days. So as much as I love everything about 31 Days, I called it quits for this year.

That doesn’t mean that it’s going to be totally quiet around here though . I will be sharing my Bella Gravida maternity outfits for What I Wore Wednesday and I have another really awesome guest post opportunity. I also still plan to share a couple posts about Taming the Sugar Monster (which is what my series would have been) along with a mini series (probably a week long) called Things I Want to Teach My Children Sooner. I am super pumped about that series and I think you’ll be inspired too.

There are still over a thousand women (and maybe a few men) writing for 31 days on some really cool topics. You can see all the categories and bloggers HERE. I encourage you to look around. There really is something for everybody.

Even though I am bowing out this year I am still excited about October and looking forward to these next 31 days!

By Natalie|2015-10-01T10:03:08+00:00October 1, 2015|My Life, Uncategorized|10 Comments

Update on Baby #4

Yesterday I was trying to remember how many weeks pregnant I am.

Thirty-two. The answer is THIRTY-TWO! I feel like everything is hitting me all at once. I really want to meet and hold my baby. I can’t wait to see the excitement and joy of my other three children to get to meet their sister.

I am also nervous though. There is still so much left to do and even though this will be my 4th natural birth I am also a little scared about the labor and the post partum period. I love pregnancy and babies and all the emotional miraculous stuff that goes along with it, but it’s hard work. I always compare it to running a marathon, which for the record I have never done. You train, you prepare, you have great expectations. You love running (again this is just hypothetical none of this applies to me) and there is nothing that compares to the feeling you get when your first foot crosses over that finish line, but there are times of exhaustion that make you think you are crazy for trying. Times you need a cheerleader and a second wind.

Things are moving along though. J and I went to an orientation class at the birth center. I was amazed at how geared toward natural birth it is. It’s actually within a hospital so I expected it to be a little bit more mainstream, but it wasn’t. Which I liked. The one thing I was shocked about was that they don’t allow video during births! I don’t know if it’s a legal issue or what. This was the one birth I was going to video tape and it’s the one birth where it is not allowed! Out of all the things to be frustrated about though, that isn’t really a big deal.

After the orientation we explored the city and made a date out of it. The last time we went on a date was in March when we took the pregnancy test so we were long overdue.

All of these photos are ones that J took that day. So these are the most current pics I have of my belly which is getting huge.

I am feeling really great. Lots of fetal movement. We have a name and it’s really hard for me not to say anything, but with only 7 weeks to go I’m going to hold off. I get the normal braxton hicks. Call me a weirdo, but I’ve always liked braxton hicks. It’s an empowering feeling to me, but as I already mentioned this time around they scare me just a little because my mind starts racing with the reality of it all. The baby is already head down so as long as she doesn’t flip that’s one thing less to worry about.

My iron is still really low and I do not want to give too much info, but if you don’t like to hear about gory pregnancy details you can stop here.

I have been trying to be good about taking my perscribed iron supplements (which they have now doubled the dosage on), but they make me constipated so that is really annoying. I asked my midwife what I could do and there was a range of answers, none of which I wrote down or have yet to try so I guess I can’t complain.

I should be getting my Bella Gravida maternity clothes in the mail soon and then I am going to bombard you all with tons of baby bump pictures because before you know it the baby bump will be gone and I’ll be able to bend down and pick stuff up again. I know most women can’t wait to be done with pregnancy, but it’s bittersweet. I am just trying to take it all in.

By Natalie|2015-09-30T10:16:56+00:00September 30, 2015|My Life, Pregnancy & Birth|9 Comments

I Dream of Pig Parties

“I think I’ll combine the boys birthday this year and just keep it really simple because it’s going to be so close to when the baby is due.”

I distinctly remember having that conversation with my family. Z and Ezie’s birthdays are less than a month apart and I DO have a lot going on, but what can I say? I love to party!

Here are some behind the scenes details about the Ezie’s third birthday this weekend.

The original idea was Three Little Pigs theme which I thought of last year (these are the kind of things I think about when I can’t sleep). Since Ezie is turning three it seemed fitting, but the idea has evolved into more of a full blown farm theme with some 3 Little Pig touches.

First I inquired amongst friends and family for hay, costumes, decorations… anything farm related that I could borrow (trying to keep costs low here). It was looking pretty bleak, until I called my aunt who is not on Facebook and she had so many awesome things that I will be integrating.

Not to mention I got to visit her in the country while the leaves were falling AHHHH, and Ezie got to feed a horse and pony and pet some other animals. It was like a mini surprise before his birthday even started.

Next I looked everywhere for farm theme party stuff. I spent the day going from Party City to numerous craft stores with Ezie in tow and I was exhausted. I made one final stop at a random Dollar Store and JACKPOT! I found farm theme party paper goods and for $1. I was stoked.

One of the 3 Little Pigs idea I had was to have a “House Building Contest” where families team up using cardboard boxes. So I called up my local Kroger which really came through for me when I needed free boxes for packing. This round was a little small than I had hoped, but I was grateful and hauled a load home. Then J told me they have tons of huge boxes where he works (the place he started this week) and he brought some home yesterday.What are the odds!?

Lastly, my aunt had an old saddle that she just wanted to give to us. So J joined in with his creativity by crafting a wooden “saw horse” so that the kids can sit on the saddle.

Needless to say I did not keep things simple this year, but it’s all coming together and I feel great about it. Ezie didn’t have a party last year and he is about to loose his status as baby of the family so what better time to celebrate him. Not to mention I just love autumn and farms, so this is very therapeutic for me. I am just really looking forward to the family time. I think it’s going to be fun for all ages. After this I’ll be ready to get down to business because before you know it our latest addition will be arriving!

By Natalie|2015-09-25T17:09:52+00:00September 25, 2015|Frugal Living, My Life, Parties|4 Comments

Mini Van!? Help!

What is significant about September 24th? For me it’s that my due date is November 24th and that means 2 months from now I will more than likely be holding my baby girl. So things are starting to get real and now that J has a job, getting a mini van is our next priority.

I love my Toyota Highlander, but we cannot legally pack one more child into my car.

So it’s time to upgrade! We haven’t even started the hunt yet, but we have some ideas in mind.

We bought J’s 2000 Toyota 4Runner in 2007. It’s hard to believe we weren’t even parents yet in this photo, but I was pregnant with Z. J just recently hit the 300,00 mile mark on his car and we’ve been very happy with it. Out of our two vehicles it’s the only one with a tow package and we own a trailer, so this is our truck and we do not intend to trade it in anytime soon.

About a year after falling in love with the 4Runner we bought my 2002 Toyota Highlander, which my husband refers to as the “glorified minivan”. That’s what he calls any SUV that isn’t really sport utility material.

All though it’s seen better days aesthetically (thanks to my messy clan) I have loved this little gem we found on Craig’s List 8 years ago.

Needless to say we are Toyota fans and so we would like to stay in the Toyota family for this next upgrade. We also have had success with purchasing USED, but staying around 6 or 7 years old. So we are thinking about a 2008ish Toyota Sienna minivan. We aren’t set on that though! A Honda would probably be our next choice in make, and it doesn’t have to be a minivan, but you would really have to talk me out it. I look forward to the day the doors slide open and I don’t have to panic about my children leaving dents in the unfortunate cars parked next to us. Also, gas milage and safety rating are things I definitely like to consider.

So I would love any and all feedback about vans, brands, amenities, you name it. Both of our cars are paid off and we like it that way so we’re definitely wanting to keep things somewhat simple while still upgrading. Because if things continue the way they’ve been going for us we won’t be thinking about another car for a close to a decade. It’s such a big decision! Alright, let me hear your thoughts and I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

By Natalie|2015-09-24T09:29:38+00:00September 24, 2015|My Life, Simple Living|11 Comments

The Next Big Thing In Maternity Fashion

I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of Influence Central for Bella Gravida. I received a complimentary subscription and promotional item to thank me for my participation.

Today I am 31 weeks pregnant and at a time when I should be feeling my most BLAH, I am actually ready to rock this baby bump like never before because I get chance to introduce to all of you a brand new revolutionary service for renting maternity clothes.

You can find all the latest fashion available in maternity styles at BellaGravida.com. It’s brilliant really. Why spend tons of money on something that you are getting such a limited use out of!?

Bella Gravida means Beautifully Pregnant in Italian and I am starting a subscription service that will last through the remainder of my pregnancy. So get ready for lots of photos because in October I’ll be blowing up my IG feed and Messy Mom accounts with all the fun stuff I find!

The cool thing about renting through Bella Gravida is that there is a flat monthly fee with plans starting as low as $39 a month.

It’s free shipping, unlimited exchanges, and thousands of designer maternity AND nursing outfits. So you can utilize the service from the time you are barely showing all the way to wearing maternity/nursing clothes after the baby is born. By the way, if you are a first time expectant mother be prepared to still wear maternity clothes for a while after the baby is born. It’s completely normal!

The best part is there are no return deadlines, you get unlimited exchanges, and laundry service is included. Do I need to keep going? I don’t think so, although I could because there is more. I’ll just let you go to BellaGravida.com and see for yourself.

By Natalie|2015-09-22T10:13:47+00:00September 22, 2015|Pregnancy & Birth|11 Comments

Breakthrough!

I have a major announcement that has been years in the making. Today is a big day for our family and it makes me so happy to get to share this with all of you.

I know that most of you have already heard our story probably 10 times over, but I also have so many new readers and subscribers so I’ll try to get everyone caught up with a tiny little nutshell version of the past 4 years.

In 2011 we felt the Lord laying it on our hearts to move across the country to Kentucky which is where I am originally from. J left his job as a worship pastor and we said goodbye to our church family that had been there for us since we got married in 2000! It was a HUGE leap of faith unlike anything we had ever experienced. We sold our house and many of our belongings and at the beginning of 2012 the four of us moved in with my parents almost a thousand miles away from what we had always known as home.

The next month we found out about our surprise pregnancy (with Ezie), and the month after that we learned that SJ was deaf. Fast forward to 2013 where we moved in with my brother and his wife in Northern Kentucky so that SJ could go to a special school. Not long after that we moved to Ohio.

Through all of this J did what he could to provide for our family. He worked many different freelance or temp jobs over the years, but nothing substantial. Nothing that was going to be a long term solution for our growing family. So J went back to school for his computer programming degree and it has been a very intense season, but he really flourished in all of his technical classes and aside from some co-op hours he recently completed his degree.

It’s been a James 1 season of trials and testing. I think back over the past 4 years and I could just about pass out because it’s so overwhelming, BUT GOD. He has been so faithful and I could tell endless stories of provision. Just one of many example is how J had the opportunity to be an interim worship leader at a time when we really needed that job while J was in school full time. It looked like it was coming to close at the absolute perfect time because J was finishing school. Except then a couple months went by without getting any legitimate job offers.

So J met with his professor who is a christian and asked for guidance. His professor told him to hold out for just one more month. He said to J, Maybe God is giving you this chance to have a break in-between school and work to be able to make up for some lost time that you need to reconnect with your family. You could trust Him and enjoy this or waste it all panicking and taking matters into your own hands.

During that season, all of the kids school fees, clothes, backpacks etc. have been miraculously provided and we got a free months rent for chopping down a tree in the backyard and a relative sent a check in the mail not knowing any of what we are going through! We also have been able to spend time together as a family and I’ve seen some really positive effects in Z’s life thanks to getting some much overdue father-son time. It has been AMAZING!

Then on Friday J did a follow up meeting with a company that was hiring a web developer and they offered him a job!

When he told me the news there was some jumping up and down. There were some happy tears. There was some Praise You Jesus being lifted up! So today J took off to go to work with some amazing people that we know were divinely placed in our lives.

There have been so many times throughout the past 4 years that I have blogged about our situation and I have reached out for prayer and encouragement. I have repeatedly cried We need a miracle. It’s hard to take anything for granted when you go through what we’ve been through and my heart is full of gratitude.

Of course there is a lot more to it. It’s not like that’s a wrap. The end. We’re all set! But it is a big breakthrough and I can’t go on without declaring His goodness.

By Natalie|2015-09-21T10:48:27+00:00September 21, 2015|My Life|23 Comments

More Laundry Headed My Way

With a family 5 I do my fair share of laundry, and I am about to do even more.

First of all I’ve got these itty bitty baby girl clothes to wash.

Aside from the items I got from Carter’s all of this stuff came from a yard sale I went to last weekend. They had a two year old girl that was born in the winter so the stuff was perfect for our baby. The deal was all you could stuff in a grocery sack for $5. Well, call me Doc McSTUFFINS. I was all over it and now we should be set for the first 3 months of clothes.

I am also excited about pulling out the cloth diapers again. Every time you use a cloth diaper the cost per wear goes down and that makes the pay off for the initial investment even better. My cloth diaper stash paid for themselves a long time ago so now it’s just the cost of soap, water, and electricity.

And get this, the cost of soap and dryer time is even lower now since I’ve discovered Eco Nuts.

I had never heard of this unique product before, but they sent me some stuff to try and it’s perfect timing for me! I’m not going to lie I normally just pick up whatever is on sale when I’m grocery shopping. The one time I am picky about my detergent is when I have baby. I don’t want to ruin the absorbency of my cloth diapers and I don’t want to irritate the delicate newborn skin so I have always been particular about what I use with a newborn.

Despite the name and the appearance of Eco Nuts they are not really nuts. Though they are called soap nuts they are actually berries from a Sapindus mukorossi (Soap Berry) tree in the Himalayas. Inside the shell of these berries is something called saponin which is a natural cleaning agent that truly does work as a laundry detergent. I have been trying it for a couple months now and I don’t know if I am still used to how out of the ordinary it is, but it does get clothes clean.

You just put 4 or 5 berries in the little sack that is provided and you use the same berries up to ten times.

They have a guide on their website that is more specific. Don’t worry you don’t have to keep a chalk board and tally each time you use one, you will be able to tell by the way the berries look.

I also got to try out their liquid detergent and wool dryer balls.

I LOVE the dryer balls because I am pretty much a fan of anything reusable. Also the kids have gotten a kick out of helping with the laundry since I’ve incorporated balls and soap nuts.

Now for the downsides. I know it’s natural and all, but I do miss that artificial perfumy smell that comes with liquid soap and dryer sheets, but I would have gone perfume free when the baby came anyway.I always do.

I also don’t particularly like the hassle of having to make sure I don’t throw the berries in the dryer. HOWEVER, there is a solution to both of these legitimate complaints.

You can add essential oils to the dryer balls if you want fragrance and then you get to pick exactly what scent you want!
The bags usually fall to the bottom of the load on their own making them easy to find (like coins). However it is possible that they could get tangled in with the clothes especially if you are like me and toss your wet clothes into the dryer by the arm full. If you do accidentally dry your soap nuts it’s not going to hurt anything. I have only done it twice. So out of all the benefits of Eco Nuts that really is a small inconvenience.

There is so much more I could say about these products and if you are like me you probably have some questions. The Eco Nuts website is full of information. They have videos, savings comparison chart, cloth diaper details, and local retailers (which makes even more savings when you don’t have to pay shipping). Speaking of savings, right now there is a offer that allows you to get 10% off with the coupon code EcoFall2015 .

If you want to know more go to econutsoap.com . It’s all very fascinating and worth looking into even if you don’t decide to go the organic soap nut route. I am looking forward to see how it works with the baby clothes and cloth diapers and I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

By Natalie|2015-09-18T12:57:56+00:00September 18, 2015|Babies, Babies & Toddlers, Frugal Living, Natural Living, Parenting Tips|2 Comments

Our Pretty Little Girls

This was my status update last night on Facebook.

“Today Sedona found a penny and two nickels. Tonight when she prayed she said “Dear Jesus, thank you me find three dollars so I can go shopping in Jesus name.”

Now for a little bit of background to this story that will make sense to those that follow my blog.

Here is an excerpt from something I wrote a few weeks ago

“when my three kids are going to sleep (they share a room for now) I lie there in the dark with them for a while and Ezie says he wants to pray. After he finishes he wants his sister to take a turn. I tell him SJ can’t hear us right now because she doesn’t have her implants. If it were light it would be different because she reads lips so well, and with her implants she is just communicating non stop, but the next night we went through the same thing and Ezie said SJ needed to get her implants.”

The good news is since writing that I realized I needed to be more intentional about this special time of prayer with the kids. It’s kind of embarrassing. It’s not that I have never prayed aloud with SJ in 5 1/2 years. She knows what prayer is. But between bath time, pajama time, and her own exhaustion the cochlear implants are always off before we do bedtime prayers and because she just now has started really talking I never thought about having her pray out loud other than a “repeat after me” type prayer. Anyway, all that to say as we are going through our evening routine and wrapping up story time we do prayer time before she shuts down her hearing for the night.

Even though I know she doesn’t quite understand yet, she has had some fun little prayers such as “God is great, God is good. Merry Christmas. The end.” I know that each word blesses the Fathers heart and it makes me so happy too.

I just wanted to share that breakthrough and document how one of her very first prayer was about shopping (in Jesus name). So cute. Raising girls is truly a different ballgame than boys.

Today I have the opportunity to write about our story and share some encouragement that I have learned through SJ’s journey.

The guest post is featured on Our Pretty Little Girls and I would love it if you stopped by and said hello.

By Natalie|2015-09-17T14:06:36+00:00September 17, 2015|Family, Special Needs|2 Comments

What I Wore the 2nd Trimester

From the creator of What I Wore the 1st Trimester comes the next set in the trilogy. Unfortunately, I have been very busy the last three months so unlike the first installment where I had my fancy camera and set up a little session just to feature each outfit, I have nothing like that this time.

I do have some shots of my baby bump along the way though and I thought it would be fun to look at some of my outfits from the summer. So here it is. What I Wore the 2nd Trimester.

I had the opportunity to dress up and go to the Aronoff theater and I didn’t get any decent photos other than these super grainy ones from the phone camera. It’s shame too, because who knows when I’ll do something like that again.

I was 15 weeks here so not quite showing, but I definitely could not fit into any of my usual formal dresses so I headed off to Goodwill and was pleased to find the deal for the day was buy two dress for $6. I got this dress and the one I will share next.

Cute from the back too, although not that comfortable to sit in through a whole production. Ahhh, the things we do for fashion.

Here I am outlining my 19 week bump, just before finding out we were having a girl.

This is supposed to be a dress, but no way I am ever going to wear it without pants, however I might wear it without being pregnant because it isn’t actually maternity it’s just stretchy.

Moving forward to 24 weeks.

Shirt/ Kohl’s- this is also not maternity, but it’s billowy enough to work if I hoist the belted area up.

Pants/ Gap Maternity.

If you subscribe to the Messy Mom newsletter then you have probably seen this photo.

I was 25 weeks here (I am 30 now!).

Dress/ thrift store

Shoes/ Given to me from a friend whose feet didn’t get along with the lack of support (they are tricky to walk in)

Necklace/ Charming Charlie and since that day I have never worn that necklace with that dress again. After seeing the photos I didn’t like the combo at all.

That’s about it. It’s fun to highlight some of my favorites, but most of my 2nd trimester summer days were spent in a tshirt, shorts, and flip flops.

Shirt/Motherhood (I snagged it second hand from Once Upon a Child)

Shorts/ Gap maternity.

That’s all I’ve got for now, but I plan on taking an annoying amount of pregnant selfies in a few weeks because I have a really exciting opportunity to work with a maternity clothing company and review some of their stuff. I can’t wait to share more!

I potentially have only two months left before meeting the baby. It’s so hard to believe. I have tons emotions going on right now, but most of them are all goooood.

By Natalie|2015-09-15T23:09:19+00:00September 15, 2015|Pregnancy & Birth|10 Comments

Freedom From Parenting Guilt
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Freedom From Parenting Guilt

Family, Motherhood, Parenting Tips

Freedom From Parenting Guilt

Like most parents I fear that I fall short with my children. I worry that I don’t have what it takes as a mom and that I could possibly ruin my one shot at this child rearing thing. It’s not a constant thought, but it’s this lingering insecurity. I used to love to listen to a pastor named Miles Welch, who had a podcast for college students. I was way too married and grown up for the topics be applicable to me, but I tuned in anyway and I am glad I did. One day I was sweeping the kitchen while casually listening to the Q&A session on the podcast* when there was a question from a young man asking how he could forgive his dad who was responsible for breaking up the family with a divorce. What Miles had to say in response pretty much jumped out of iTunes and punched me in the gut (in a good way).

He said

“You know, that is a hard question. At some point I was really disgruntled by my parents. I had to learn to accept them for who they were – limited and faulted. You can’t put too much
hope in humanity, we are flawed, fallen people. Now there’s hope in Christ, but we shouldn’t have an idealistic view of humanity. We place too much hope in what a person can be. I used to be really angry that my parents left a mark on my soul. Now that I am a parent I know that every parent leaves a mark on a soul. I am going to for my daughter and I don’t know how to stop it. I feel like I can protect my child from Hollywood. I can protect my child from crazy teachers, and soccer coaches. I can protect my child from anybody but me, because I will leave a mark, and I am a broken person, and as hard as I try I will fail her and she will have to learn to forgive me. She was wired to have a perfect father, and she has me instead.”

I almost dropped my broom in the kitchen when I heard that and it’s stuck with me for all these years. My children are wired for a perfect father and I can’t meet that need and I am not supposed to be expected to. It was in that moment that the weight of the world fell off of my shoulders and Christ set me free from that guilt and insecurity. I was
wanting to be God to my children. Now don’t get me wrong I want to show Christ to them every moment that I breathe 24/7, but the fact of the matter is I mess up time and time again. The further along I go on this parenting journey I can see how it is actually helpful for my kids to see my weakness, to see me grappling with reality. That way some day they can see that even though I often struggled as a mother and wife, God’s grace was/is sufficient for me. Maybe they will learn that God is who they need to ultimately fulfill them not a parent, friend, or spouse. I pray that it teaches them about forgiveness and that they will truly embrace the grace of God that is there for them as well.