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The Best Hardest Thing
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The Best Hardest Thing

My Life, Uncategorized

The Best Hardest Thing

I shared this photo on Facebook the other day.

It’s Z at Skyline Chili, his first job that just ended before heading off to college. I also shared a photo of me and my parents at Skyline.

It was 2001, and after doing the math I realized my parents were the age I am now, and I was Zion’s age. The crazy thing is, my life is so different from my mom’s at this age. I still have three kids at home making all kinds of ruckus and needing rides all over the place. My mom, who had her children young, was an empty nester at 41. She always made it look so easy. She was genuinely happy for us and encouraged our independence.

About a year ago, my mom came over for a visit. I could see Z’s graduation date on the horizon and was feeling really uncertain and somewhat sad about these uncharted waters. I confessed, “I’m not like you, Mom. Maybe it’s because you were so young that it changed your perspective, but I’m really emotional about this next stage. It’s not that easy for me like it was for you.”

My mom had a surprised expression and quickly corrected me. “It wasn’t that easy for me either. When I first became an empty nester and your dad and I moved to Kentucky, I struggled with depression. I knew everyone was doing what God had for them, and I was happy for you all, but it was a trying season in my life. Thank God for His faithfulness to get me through it.” She looked down as she recalled the memories. My eyes softened and my worried eyebrows turned empathetic as I heard, for the first time after 25 years, what my mom had secretly struggled with. It wasn’t scary or unhealthy. It was just a season to walk through—and even my strong, independent mom dealt with it. It made me feel a little less crazy for how I was experiencing it.

The days leading up to Z’s move were busy. He packed in as much time with his friends as he possibly could while I continued to nag him about getting his packing done. One week before he left, there was a terrible storm. The power went out, and Z wasn’t home, so I called to make sure he was safe. In the meantime, the rest of us made the most of our time without electricity by playing a card game. I really wished Z were in on it since he was about to move. An hour later the storm had subsided, the power was still out, and we were still playing cards when the front door opened. Zion! We all cheered, and then he joined us for a few rounds of Swoop.

It was one of those full-heart moments.

Later in the week we finished watching The Artful Dodger Season Two, which we’d been watching together. It was a full-heart moment.

We hosted one last sleepover with all his guy friends the Saturday before he left, then on Sunday we had a big backyard party.

Watching all these kids/young adults who have been such a big part of Z’s life scattered throughout the yard, laughing, playing, swinging, and singing, was another full-heart moment for me that I thank God for.

On moving day I used a personal day at work, and my mom came up to hold down the fort with the other kids while J and I got Z all moved into his dorm. He’s sharing a room with three other guys—one he knows and two who are assigned. He has a nice little corner of the room with a lofted bed and a desk and dresser underneath. There’s a large window with a view of the city. Never having your own room or a mattress larger than a twin is kind of a bummer, but the advantage is that he didn’t have to downgrade for dorm life! He brought the same sheets he uses at home and lived in way smaller quarters throughout his childhood. He’s got this!

Emotionally, J and I have been all over the place. It’s a very surreal feeling leaving your child, even though they’re technically an adult. My head knows this is what we’ve been working toward all along, but my heart is still trying to come to terms with it. As a mom, you spend so many years teaching your child to be brave, to get out there, try new things, do hard things. We know they don’t want to brush their teeth, eat their vegetables, get a shot, or go to bed, but we assure them that it is what is good for them. Now it’s my turn. This is hard. I don’t want to be away from him. I don’t want to do this. But I know that it is what is best for him, and I am trusting God, who cares about him more than I do, to guide him and cover him as he is away at college.

It has only been a week, so I am still an emotional wreck at times. I hear Ez and think it’s Z. I see his empty bed with the “dorm packing list” sitting on top of the mattress. I see his car and for a split second think he’s home, but he’s not. He left his car here, and SJ will be driving it soon. I go to FinalForms to register the kids for school and his name is still listed with the notation “Graduated. No action needed.”

As much as I am sad, I am also so full of gratitude. I am grateful to have a son who is so incredibly amazing to be around that it hurts when he is gone. And despite all the tears, I am genuinely excited for this next chapter.

By Natalie|2026-08-25T00:23:54+00:00August 25, 2026|My Life, Uncategorized|0 Comments

What I Can See With My Lamp
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What I Can See With My Lamp

Hearing Loss, My Life, Uncategorized

What I Can See With My Lamp

I’ve got some heavy news to share today. It’s been unfolding for three weeks now, and I’m finally ready to write about it.

Fall has already been such a busy season. I’ve mentioned before how my calendar couldn’t possibly be more packed, so the timing of all this has been especially hard.

On Monday, October 20th, I had a minor vertigo episode at work and then a major one on the drive home. The next morning, the same thing happened again. I called my doctor and texted my coworkers.

It’s eerie reading that text message now. I thought I would be taking a half a sick day. Only instead of the vertigo I’ve had in the past this one was completely debilitating. I was crying, screaming, praying, and throwing up—all while the room spun around me. I felt like I was losing my mind. Somehow, I managed to calm down enough to be driven to my doctor’s appointment. She diagnosed me with Meniere’s disease and prescribed a scopolamine patch which was supposed to help.

I’ve known about Meniere’s for years. In fact, I wrote about this diagnosis back in 2013. I have text book symptoms including vertigo. The patch seemed to help, and the good news is I got to see Z lead worship on the football field at a big FCA event and it blessed me so much!

I even posted on Facebook about what a gift it was because I had been having health issues (but I had no idea just how much of a blessing it was and just how bad the health issues were). That night I felt such a peace as they played the song Gratitude by Brandon Lake. It’s a special song for a lot of reasons and one that SJ and I even did a sign language video to.

While the scopolamine patch eased the vertigo, I started having blurry vision and severe screen fatigue. I couldn’t look at my phone, computer, or TV. When I told my doctor, she ordered an MRI—STAT. Just a few days later, on Friday, October 24th, I had my first MRI. While I was in the tube, Gratitude started playing and I felt the calming presence of the Holy Spirit wash over me.

Hours later, the results came in with concerning language about “MS” and “lesions.” The next day, my doctor called and said the findings weren’t what she expected. She was worried and referred me to a neurologist—also STAT.

The following Sunday, just one day after hearing I might have MS, I was supposed to go see Nate Bargatze with my mom. I had given her tickets for her birthday back in March, and we’d been looking forward to it all year.

But when it came time to leave, I had another INTENSE vertigo episode. I knew I wasn’t going anywhere that night. I wanted her to go and have fun and we made a very last minute change for my dad to go in my place. They did have fun and the seats were so great they actually got high fives from Nate Bargatze on his way off the stage!

The thing is, I’m a trooper and I was still thinking I could go to work even though I felt like crap. At lunch one of my students noticed I wasn’t eating and said, , “Ms. Natalie, you haven’t touched your food. You need to eat.” I almost cried right there. I smiled and said, “You’re right. Thanks for looking out for me.”

Not long after that, I told a coworker I was having a minor vertigo attack and planned to just sit quietly. But moments later, I felt my neck strain like my head was about to fly off, and I said, “I’m having a major vertigo attack!” She ran to get the nurse. The kids were ushered out as I started convulsing and retching. It was traumatic—sorry to be graphic—but that’s the reality. They called J, and I was taken out of the school in a wheelchair so he could drive me home. Later, they came back for my car.

I called off work for the rest of the week.

At this point it felt like a bomb had gone off and life was moving for everyone but me. I had to cancel SO many things I planned for or was volunteering for. I could name off over a dozen obligations I couldn’t fulfill because of being bed ridden. I hated it.

When I met with the neurologist the next week she showed us the MRI scans. She said there was significant damage on my brain and wanted another MRI of my spine—STAT. Based on what she saw, it looked like I’d had MS for about five years, with both old and new lesions. Looking back there were some signs, but I just confused them for something else (I’ll save that story for another time).

The latest update is that my second MRI revealed more lesions throughout my spine, and the neurologist officially diagnosed me with Multiple Sclerosis yesterday. It wasn’t what we wanted to hear, but at the first appointment the doctor didn’t want to promise me anything when I asked questions about my future. I couldn’t function and she didn’t know the details. She shared options for a social worker if I can’t work. It shook me to my core.

This time, though, she said that given my health and age, she doesn’t see any reason I can’t live a normal life with treatment. The specifics of the treatment are still in the works, so I don’t have details yet—other than that it will start, as you may have already guessed, STAT.

One Bible verse that has been resonating with me during this time is Psalm 119:105 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” I learned it in King James—thank you, Amy Grant— so you better believe that’s the version I’m quoting.

A lamp, or lantern, doesn’t light up the whole trail; it only illuminates the next step. As someone who’s done her share of camping, I can say firsthand— when you are using a flash light or lantern you have to go slowly, carefully, watching each step. You can’t see far ahead, but you can see enough for the moment.

That’s how this season feels. Step by step. I’ve had so many mixed emotions over the past few weeks, but also a peace that truly passes understanding.

By Natalie|2025-11-12T21:41:58+00:00November 12, 2025|Hearing Loss, My Life, Uncategorized|1 Comment

Dreams, Goals, and Habits
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Dreams, Goals, and Habits

My Life, Uncategorized

Dreams, Goals, and Habits

It’s here! It’s here! A shiny new year full of possibilities. Call me an optimist but I love New Year’s Day. I know some people hate new year’s resolutions and such but I am a list person and I can’t help myself. I thrive off of writing things down. There is a ton of evidence that supports how writing things down increases the chances of remembering something or accomplishing it. I have a lot of dreams and ambitions for 2025 so I am going to narrow it down to 10 things.

New sand in the chicken run (the pic is of Pip because she’s just so pretty)

I was going over the summer goals J and I had set and the only two things we did not accomplish was repainting the chicken coop and replacing the sand. The paint is important but it doesn’t affect the wellbeing of the chickens. The sand HAS to be done. We’ve been saying it the past two years and now their entire run is just mud! This is a major priority. We can’t do it in the winter, but hopefully it will be done in April.

2. College Visits

I like to joke that I am the one going to college because really it’s Z but I am plunging in with both feet when it comes to researching everything. This is a really scary thing, but it’s also something that I am elated to see what God does with our oldest son. So far we have one college visit scheduled for late March but I would love to fit something in before then. If you have a college you love that has a good computer science program let me know. I- I mean WE are trying to look at a variety of options and please join me in praying for scholarships. I know God has a plan!

3. Walk 8,000 steps a day

This is doable, but with my lifestyle it has to be intentional. I am saying that because in the past I walked around a lot for my job and there were days I reached 8,000 steps without taking a walk. According to my watch I averaged 6,210 steps a day. Granted it’s probably a smidge higher for times I didn’t wear a watch or the battery died. The days I reached my goal was 262. So 71% of the time I reached my goal. I don’t expect that to go up to 100% this year, but 80% sounds nice.

4. Sugar Fast

Last year I started the year with a 40 day sugar fast. I actually led a group who joined me and this year I am doing the same thing! I am excited to get going with that tomorrow. If you want to join in you are welcome to. All the info is on this page. To take it a step further I would like to eat less sugar year round. I tried last year and failed. Maybe this year I can try to keep it around 80% like the walking goal. That means 292 days of no sugar. Today I ate lots of sugar so we’ll have to see. It’s a long shot, but you’ve got to aim big sometimes.

5. More Blogging

Last year I started a working full time for the first time in my life, kinda. I never really had a day job and when I worked more than just side hustles I had no kids so it was different. All that to say the blogging has kind of fallen to the wayside. I do have specific measurable goals for this but I won’t bore you with details.

6. Book Promos

Hope at the Threshold was released a year and a half ago. I am proud of what I’ve accomplished but I feel like there is so much more to do. I have a lot of exciting things on the horizon and I look forward to sharing them all with you.

7. Get caught up on photo albums

I feel so behind on this, but it’s not the first time so I know I can recover. The last photos/book I printed was in 2021! Gasp!

I have three years to catch up on. It’s a tall order and one that will realistically have to wait until summer break.

8. Vermont Trip

A BIG dream that I have had for a very long time is to get my kids up to Vermont. Some of them have gone with me or my parents when they were younger. Z has never been though and this will be his senior year. Vermont is special to me for a lot of reason but mostly because I have extended family there. Also, it’s just flat out gorgeous in the fall! I told J how important it was for me that we do this before Z graduates and he was surprised because he figured Z would still take trips with us after he graduates. This is true, but the chances of everything coming together will be slim with the kids and I having a fall break that is fixed and Z have a very different schedule when he’s in college.

9. Ezie’s 13th trip

This another trip that is a dream of mine but I’m not the one going. J and I decided a while ago that we would have a right of passage tradition where we do a mother/daughter or father/son trip when each kid turns 13. Z went to Chicago with J and SJ went to Sedona with me.

Both trips were priceless. They were truly meaningful beyond just the excursion so I am really pumped about this adventure for my little boy (I am still going to call him that for now, okay?).

10. 12 “Friend Dates”

I am not going to say monthly hang out with friends because there will inevitably be months that are too busy, but I’d like to shoot for AT LEAST 12 friend dates. This is a continuation of good thing that am already doing. I really try to prioritize my friendships as much as possible. When I was a young mom friend outings were more of a pipe dream other than chaotic playdates. That was fine for that season. There is a place for that, but that season lasted a decade and I’m making up for lost time with double dates, coffee dates, walking dates, and dinner dates. That should be an easy and fun one to check off my list.

Those are the dreams, goals, and good habits I am hoping for in 2025. Now I just need a catch phrase like Feeling Alive in 2025! Hmmm, how about… Ready to Thrive in 2025! Too cliche? Maybe, Ride or Die… No. I’ll stop there. Happy New Year everybody.

By Natalie|2025-01-03T04:17:02+00:00January 2, 2025|My Life, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Back to School After 17 Months

I dropped all four of my kids off at school today.

This is significant for SO many reasons. For one thing it’s Elle’s first time in school. She started half day Kindergarten today!

That means for a couple hours all four kids are in school at the same time which is crazy to me. For the past 14 years there has always been a baby (or babies) at home with me. The fact that all of them are in school is mind blowing!

The other reason this milestone is a big deal is because we homeschooled last year and the year before that school abruptly went to remote learning in March. That makes 17 months since my children have been to traditional school. I have so many thoughts and feeling swirling around in the middle of all this and I figured why not dump them out on the internet in case anyone else is feeling the same way?

I know the topic of masks is polarizing! I have dear friends that are all about masks and vaccines and I have those that are the opposite. I’ve always had a holistic bend. We did home birth, cloth diapers, delayed vaccines, co-sleeping, and more. You can probably guess where I fall in the midst of all this pandemic confusion. For me it’s always been about trusting my body. That DEFINITELY includes listening to Doctors and taking medications, but I lean more towards the natural approach. I’ve always been like this. My mom had an unmedicated home birth with me so I guess you could say I was literally born this way. Add to that, the fact that my daughter is 100% deaf and even with cochlear implants she relies heavily on facial expressions, lip reading, proximity, and clarity of sound.

That’s why we ended up homeschooling last year. If you had someone deliberately design the worst possible environment for my daughter to hear it would include masks, shields, and distance.

So we homeschooled for all of the 20/21 school year. There were highs and lows, but I don’t regret it at all. It was the right choice for us. Then at the end of the year I felt led to put the kids back in school (for the upcoming school year). So I contacted out district and started sorting out what that would look like. I talked to teachers, therapists, and parents. I wanted to make the right choice and J and I prayerfully decided to enroll our kids for the 21/22 school year. Everything was working out great and masks were not mandated. That was until last week when the school decided that they needed to reconsider this decision. A board meeting was scheduled for less than 36 hours before the school year started. There was a heated debate between community members proclaiming why the school would be reckless and irresponsible if they chose not to mandate masks and the other side having the same feelings if they did mandate it. It was intense. I let the kids watch and we used it as a learning experience. We discussed both sides. We also talked about the best way to get involved in a positive and respectful way when you are passionate about something.

Then someone appeared on the screen that we recognized. It was one of Z’s good friends wearing a mask and making a case for the mask mandate. “Wait.. is that…?” Zion mumbled. We all sat quietly. When he finished I paused it. I said “Did you guys know who that was?” and they said yes. “How does he feel about masks?” “He wants masks to be mandatory” Ezie said. “Z how do you feel about masks?” I asked. “I don’t like them”. He said. For the record I have never pushed this on him. He understands the rules and we always obey them. He wears glasses and hates how the mask fogs them up and his sister is deaf. He is entitled to his own opinion.

“Can Z and this kid still be friends?” I asked. “YES” they all agreed. “Was this kid brave and do a great job talking peacefully about this subject” “YES” They all said in unison.

The meeting lasted 4 hours and ended after midnight. We only watched little bits of a recording, we weren’t watching live. It was less than 24 hours before the first day of school when the school announced that the board had voted in favor of the mask mandate.

Afterwards I poked my head in Z’s room. He was on a message board typing a message to his friend that just spoke out at the board meeting. I asked what he was up to and Z said he wanted to tell him he did a good job. I tensed up a bit. I was worried this would cause conflict because maybe the kid would start name calling unmasked people or that his compliment would be confusing if Z showed up not wearing a mask. A number of scenarios rolled through my mind. But the conversation through text went like this-

Z: Hi.

Friend: Hi.

Z: Great job on your speech. I think it’s good that you care about your little sister like that.

Friend: Thanks!

Z: Do you have Rocket League?

Rocket league is a video game and the conversation went on from there. I tear up even writing that. With all the terrible mud slinging and division I have witnessed from all sides, my mind immediately went to the worst. I imagined a big rift or heated debate. I got out of the way though and let my son encourage his friend and it was fine. It was so beautifully refreshing.

Speaking of refreshing I have been fasting for 21 days in August. Church of the Highlands is leading a 21 days of prayer event with a prayer guide and online services right now (click the link if you are interested). As I faced all of the confusion this week with the last minute mask mandate I have been reminded over and over that I need to trust God. He gave me a peace about sending my kids back to school last May. Then things started going topsy turvy and the Delta variant started springing up and my inner alarm was blaring. I doubted God, but He spoke to me in my prayer time. I felt him say that HE didn’t change. The circumstances around me may have changed but He didn’t. Then right when I was explaining to J about all of this a rainbow showed up at our front door reminding me even more that God keeps his promises.

No one wants this Covid stuff to continue. It’s been a nightmare. A friend of mine told me that she was reflecting on how when Peter looked at the waves he started sinking. We can’t focus on the storm. We have to focus on Jesus. We have to keep our posture in alignment with Him. That’s made all the difference for me in this time of uncertainty.

Against all the odds I am looking forward to a great school year.

By Natalie|2023-06-12T06:24:13+00:00August 18, 2021|My Life|0 Comments

Baby Elle 5 Months

Here we are on the tippy tail end of Aril and Elle is closer to 6 months than she is to 5, but I haven’t posted an update yet.

At 5 months she weighed 17 pounds. She is in the top 25th percentile for weight. Maybe that’s why she isn’t very mobile yet.

The day she turned 5 months (April 10th) it snowed, which is crazy, but as soon as the weather cleared up a little I took her outside. I wanted to get a picture of her in some winter clothes that she wouldn’t be able to fit in next year.

Unfortunately Elle was captivated by all the sights, textures, and sounds of the outdoors and she didn’t give me and my camera the slightest glance. I eventually gave up. The perk of being a photographer is that when she woke up from her nap with a big smile on her face I grabbed the camera again and started shooting.

She rolls over now. Mostly back to tummy and she can push herself up a lot more than what you see her doing in this photo.

She still has blue eyes although I can already see some pigment coming in. The jury is still out on whether they will be brown or green though.

Elle continues to do well in occupational therapy and speech therapy. She is also still exclusively breast fed and obviously not missing any meals (I hear that comment a lot). So everything is going great with baby Elle. She could not be loved anymore than we all love her, that’s for sure. She is precious and I am beyond blessed to be her mom.

By Natalie|2023-06-12T06:34:08+00:00April 29, 2016|My Life, Speech Therapy|1 Comment

Messy Blog

Every once in a while I have to do some house keeping on the blog. If you know me, or even if you just note the name of my blog, I am not that great at house keeping. This is why my blog is a mess. It might not look like a mess to you, but if you could see behind the virtual walls you would find broken links, outdated articles, and probably some messed up code.

It was a year ago that I launched The New Messy Mom Blog and basically I am ready to do that again. I won’t be doing a new site this time, but I will be taking the time to clean out ALL my old blog post.

Here is what this means. I am going to be going through over 1,500 blog entries! A lot of them I need to throw in the trash, but some I will update, and some I am basically rewriting and republishing.

Last year I took a big step by changing to self hosting, having a custom design and incorporating some high quality videos like my welcome video and gender reveal video. I started having sponsored posts, and reviews, as well as some giveaways. It was a good year, but I have so much more that I want to do and I’ve got to take care of some maintenance stuff before I can really move forward.

So I’ll be sharing old stuff remixed, some new stuff that I am really excited about, and regular family updates. Thanks for following and supporting me. I am sorry the site has been down so much. I know I have announced that it was fixed in the past, but hopefully that really will happen soon.

I’ll sign off with a recent photo of baby Elle and my new haircut just because I don’t think I posted any here on the blog.

Happy Monday everyone.

By Natalie|2016-04-11T13:38:46+00:00April 11, 2016|My Life|6 Comments

Personality Tests

I have been reading H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick while we are out of town for spring break and it has been really enlightening.

In the chapter “A Habit of Self- Discovery” Lomenick suggests several different personality tests and recommends reviewing the results side by side looking for echoes.

The first test I did was similar to a Strength Finders test and found that my main talent (according to this test) is “Believing”.

The results showed that

Individuals with the Believing talent can have a solid set of core values by which they choose to live. This talent can enhance ethical standards and integrity, and when presented with alternative paths will tend to choose the ‘right one’.

As I said at the beginning of the year my word for 2016 is “Next” as in just do the next right thing. So that’s was a cool confirmation.

The next test I took was the Myer’s Briggs. I have taken this before, but I always forget what the 4 letters are. It looks like I am an ENFP (extraverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving). Everything I have read about this personality seems to fit my own.

The last one I did was DISC which was also neat. These are my results in a nutshell.

Out of all of these results I realized that I am really high on the emotional strengths and lower on the structured ones. For example some of my highest strengths are being a positive, motivating, harmonious unifier. The things I am the most lacking in are being commanding, responsible, strategic, deliberate, and disciplined.

As I have mentioned before J and I are opposite. When we chose our core values for our family mine was compassion and his was self control. We are apart on love language too. Mine has always been words of affirmation by a landslide and his is acts of service. Acts of service are almost pointless to me. I appreciate them, but they don’t make me feel more loved. I guess we balance each other out.

According to H3 Leadership personality tests are a way to “step outside of yourself and more clearly survey how you’re built.” It’s an emotionless snapshot of you identify, gifts, and passions.

Have you taken any of these tests? What areas do you thrive in the most?

By Natalie|2016-03-30T21:18:59+00:00March 30, 2016|My Life, Uncategorized|2 Comments

Elle at 4 months

Elle has had a major growth spurt over the past month. It’s like someone pulled the cord on a self inflating raft and she just instantly filled out. She is currently sitting at 14 pounds of super cute chunkiness.

Here she is doing some tummy time in her Dr. Seuss diaper. I held back on cloth diapers the first couple months because I was just trying to get back on my feet.

Now that I am back into my routine I’m starting to feel so much better, physically and emotionally.

There aren’t too many developmental milestones to report other than that Elle is getting stronger and more curious.

She appears to be my first thumb sucker of the bunch (just like her momma was) and she is also starting to explore by wanting to put things in her mouth.

We just love having her around!

By Natalie|2016-03-11T16:19:01+00:00March 11, 2016|Babies, My Life|2 Comments

I’m Back… Hopefully

Things have been a little crazy at messymom.com. Mostly because of technical issues causing my website to crash repeatedly all day every day. So if you come to MessyMom.com and it looks like it no longer exists, just hang tight because it probably just means the website crashed again. I really hope that won’t be the case anymore. I think J’s troubleshooting is starting to bring some resolve. I hope so because I have some exciting blog essays, guest posts, tutorials, and even a giveaway planned for the near future so keep your eyes peeled for that stuff. In the mean time here are some photos of what has been happening in my messy life.

I did my first photo shoot since my “maternity leave”. It was of a ballet recital. The whole thing was so powerful I was moved to tears and if all goes as planned SJ will be starting lessons with this group in about a week! There is more to the story, but I’ll try to keep my mouth shut until it’s officially official.

Z got to bring home a Guenia Pig from school last weekend. I have recommended the book Humphrey the Hamster before and they do the same thing in that book series (have a class pet that goes home with students on the weekend). Z’s teacher says it’s a great way to make learning fun and connect what they are doing at school to home. I LOVE that!

Today all of the kids are out of school due to snow. It’s really pretty outside. The snowflakes are so huge you just absolutely have to lift your head up, open your mouth, and try to catch them with your tongue.

Z had his 2nd pinewood derby recently. He got 2nd place for creativity! It was a father son effort, but Z came up with the idea and did most of the work on his own. We are so proud of this ~~little~~ guy.

SJ celebrated the 100th day of school in style. They were supposed to dress like 100 year olds (if you follow me on Facebook you probably saw a lot of these pics already). I didn’t have much notice that she was supposed to dress up so we just went through the closet and chose anything that happen to look like it could fit the grandma stereotype.

J and I got to go see two of our all time favorite artists at a local venue. John Mark McMillan and Josh Garrels, for those who are curious. The last time I was at a concert was at this same venue and I was pregnant with Elle (it was John Foreman). This time she was outside of the womb and protecting those little ears with noise cancellation headphones.

She was so great at the show. She slept through the whole thing!

Lastly, we watched the Super Bowl with just the two of us (the 6 of us until the kids went to bed). It was a great excuse to chow down on pizza, appetizers, brownies, and pie. We had a great time and were happy to see the Peyton Manning get another victory. I know we are only a month and a half into, but I’d say 2016 has been a pretty great year so far.

By Natalie|2016-02-09T09:35:36+00:00February 9, 2016|My Life|4 Comments

Acknowledging the Self Control Crisis

I recently did a book review of Strong and Kind by Korie Robertson. I mentioned the idea presented in the book to choose two character traits that you would want to be the main focus in your home.

J and I chose Self-Controlled and Compassionate as our two character traits. J was the one to choose self-control and I went along with it because we are in this together. I have to be honest though, I really struggled with the idea of self-control as one of our main family goals. That did not sound like fun to me. It didn’t even sound biblical. Yes I do realize self-control is a fruit of the spirit, but subconsciously I hear the word “self” and I think “selfish” then add the word control and I think “controlling”. There is nothing I dislike more than a selfish controlling person. All we need is love right?

You guys must think I am crazy. The rest of you are probably obsessed with self-control and have it mastered.

So to avoid resentment about the very thing I am supposed to be imparting to my children I did a little research.

Scripture and truth about self-control began to resonate with me. It’s not glamorous. You won’t hear of people being honored at their funerals for how much self-control they had.

It’s a big deal though. It’s in the Bible for a reason and I am 100% on board with making it a priority in our home.

Obviously self-control that is contrived by legalism will only leave you feeling like a failure. On our own there is no way we can have a healthy balanced sense of self-discipline. Biblical self-control however is critical. It means having a backbone in the face of temptation and denying one’s flesh. It’s doing the exact opposite of what our culture says to do (which would only leave us hopeless in the end). The lust of the flesh is an ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure as C.S. Lewis puts it.

Proverbs 25:28 says a man without self-control is like a city broken and left without walls. I have seen the affects of this. I’ve watched powerful ministries ripped to shreds due to a lack of self-control. It can cost you everything. You can have so much success that you are standing among the stars, but without following God’s command for self control the enemy has the perfect opportunity to kick the ladder right out from under you. Having self-control actually amplifies and supports the other spiritual fruits. It allows you to have integrity as you serve and move in the gifts of the spirit. I definitely want that for my children.

So when it comes to self-control as a core value in our home I’m still not like Ohhh yay! I love self-control. I know my kid’s will too. Now let’s practice by setting a jar of forbidden candy on the coffee table. Woo hoo!

What I do know though is that the media is screaming indulgence! Our society reeks of entitlement. We are a nation of instant gratification who would rather point fingers than take responsibility for anything. We have a self-control deficiency!

Enough is enough. It’s going to take an intentional effort on my part to teach my children the truth. God has given us instructions, a path, and a plan. The Holy Spirit guides us and has given us the reins of self-control. I want myself and my family to grab ahold of those reins.

So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

-1 Corinthians 9:26