My Life Archives - Messymom

Baby Elle 5 Months

Here we are on the tippy tail end of Aril and Elle is closer to 6 months than she is to 5, but I haven’t posted an update yet.

At 5 months she weighed 17 pounds. She is in the top 25th percentile for weight. Maybe that’s why she isn’t very mobile yet.

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The day she turned 5 months (April 10th) it snowed, which is crazy, but as soon as the weather cleared up a little I took her outside. I wanted to get a picture of her in some winter clothes that she wouldn’t be able to fit in next year.

Unfortunately Elle was captivated by all the sights, textures, and sounds of the outdoors and she didn’t give me and my camera the slightest glance. I eventually gave up. The perk of being a photographer is that when she woke up from her nap with a big smile on her face I grabbed the camera again and started shooting.

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She rolls over now. Mostly back to tummy and she can push herself up a lot more than what you see her doing in this photo.

She still has blue eyes although I can already see some pigment coming in. The jury is still out on whether they will be brown or green though.

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Elle continues to do well in occupational therapy and speech therapy. She is also still exclusively breast fed and obviously not missing any meals (I hear that comment a lot). So everything is going great with baby Elle. She could not be loved anymore than we all love her, that’s for sure. She is precious and I am beyond blessed to be her mom.

By Natalie| April 29th, 2016|My Life|1 Comment

Messy Blog

Every once in a while I have to do some house keeping on the blog. If you know me, or even if you just note the name of my blog, I am not that great at house keeping. This is why my blog is a mess. It might not look like a mess to you, but if you could see behind the virtual walls you would find broken links, outdated articles, and probably some messed up code.

It was a year ago that I launched The New Messy Mom Blog and basically I am ready to do that again. I won’t be doing a new site this time, but I will be taking the time to clean out ALL my old blog post.

Here is what this means. I am going to be going through over 1,500 blog entries! A lot of them I need to throw in the trash, but some I will update, and some I am basically rewriting and republishing.

Last year I took a big step by changing to self hosting, having a custom design and incorporating some high quality videos like my welcome video and gender reveal video. I started having sponsored posts, and reviews, as well as some giveaways. It was a good year, but I have so much more that I want to do and I’ve got to take care of some maintenance stuff before I can really move forward.

So I’ll be sharing old stuff remixed, some new stuff that I am really excited about, and regular family updates. Thanks for following and supporting me. I am sorry the site has been down so much. I know I have announced that it was fixed in the past, but hopefully that really will happen soon.

I’ll sign off with a recent photo of baby Elle and my new haircut just because I don’t think I posted any here on the blog.

Happy Monday everyone.

By Natalie| April 11th, 2016|My Life|6 Comments

Personality Tests

I have been reading H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick while we are out of town for spring break and it has been really enlightening.

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In the chapter “A Habit of Self- Discovery” Lomenick suggests several different personality tests and recommends reviewing the results side by side looking for echoes.

The first test I did was similar to a Strength Finders test and found that my main talent (according to this test) is “Believing”.

The results showed that

Individuals with the Believing talent can have a solid set of core values by which they choose to live. This talent can enhance ethical standards and integrity, and when presented with alternative paths will tend to choose the ‘right one’.

As I said at the beginning of the year my word for 2016 is “Next” as in just do the next right thing. So that’s was a cool confirmation.

The next test I took was the Myer’s Briggs. I have taken this before, but I always forget what the 4 letters are. It looks like I am an ENFP (extraverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving). Everything I have read about this personality seems to fit my own.

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The last one I did was DISC which was also neat. These are my results in a nutshell.

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Out of all of these results I realized that I am really high on the emotional strengths and lower on the structured ones. For example some of my highest strengths are being a positive, motivating, harmonious unifier. The things I am the most lacking in are being commanding, responsible, strategic, deliberate, and disciplined.

As I have mentioned before J and I are opposite. When we chose our core values for our family mine was compassion and his was self control. We are apart on love language too. Mine has always been words of affirmation by a landslide and his is acts of service. Acts of service are almost pointless to me. I appreciate them, but they don’t make me feel more loved. I guess we balance each other out.

According to H3 Leadership personality tests are a way to “step outside of yourself and more clearly survey how you’re built.” It’s an emotionless snapshot of you identify, gifts, and passions.

Have you taken any of these tests? What areas do you thrive in the most?

By Natalie| March 30th, 2016|My Life, Uncategorized|2 Comments

Elle at 4 months

Elle has had a major growth spurt over the past month. It’s like someone pulled the cord on a self inflating raft and she just instantly filled out. She is currently sitting at 14 pounds of super cute chunkiness.

Here she is doing some tummy time in her Dr. Seuss diaper. I held back on cloth diapers the first couple months because I was just trying to get back on my feet.

Now that I am back into my routine I’m starting to feel so much better, physically and emotionally.

There aren’t too many developmental milestones to report other than that Elle is getting stronger and more curious.

She appears to be my first thumb sucker of the bunch (just like her momma was) and she is also starting to explore by wanting to put things in her mouth.

We just love having her around!

By Natalie| March 11th, 2016|Babies, My Life|2 Comments

I’m Back… Hopefully

Things have been a little crazy at messymom.com. Mostly because of technical issues causing my website to crash repeatedly all day every day. So if you come to MessyMom.com and it looks like it no longer exists, just hang tight because it probably just means the website crashed again. I really hope that won’t be the case anymore. I think J’s troubleshooting is starting to bring some resolve. I hope so because I have some exciting blog essays, guest posts, tutorials, and even a giveaway planned for the near future so keep your eyes peeled for that stuff. In the mean time here are some photos of what has been happening in my messy life.

I did my first photo shoot since my “maternity leave”. It was of a ballet recital. The whole thing was so powerful I was moved to tears and if all goes as planned SJ will be starting lessons with this group in about a week! There is more to the story, but I’ll try to keep my mouth shut until it’s officially official.

Z got to bring home a Guenia Pig from school last weekend. I have recommended the book Humphrey the Hamster before and they do the same thing in that book series (have a class pet that goes home with students on the weekend). Z’s teacher says it’s a great way to make learning fun and connect what they are doing at school to home. I LOVE that!

Today all of the kids are out of school due to snow. It’s really pretty outside. The snowflakes are so huge you just absolutely have to lift your head up, open your mouth, and try to catch them with your tongue.

Z had his 2nd pinewood derby recently. He got 2nd place for creativity! It was a father son effort, but Z came up with the idea and did most of the work on his own. We are so proud of this ~~little~~ guy.

SJ celebrated the 100th day of school in style. They were supposed to dress like 100 year olds (if you follow me on Facebook you probably saw a lot of these pics already). I didn’t have much notice that she was supposed to dress up so we just went through the closet and chose anything that happen to look like it could fit the grandma stereotype.

J and I got to go see two of our all time favorite artists at a local venue. John Mark McMillan and Josh Garrels, for those who are curious. The last time I was at a concert was at this same venue and I was pregnant with Elle (it was John Foreman). This time she was outside of the womb and protecting those little ears with noise cancellation headphones.

She was so great at the show. She slept through the whole thing!

Lastly, we watched the Super Bowl with just the two of us (the 6 of us until the kids went to bed). It was a great excuse to chow down on pizza, appetizers, brownies, and pie. We had a great time and were happy to see the Peyton Manning get another victory. I know we are only a month and a half into, but I’d say 2016 has been a pretty great year so far.

By Natalie| February 9th, 2016|My Life|4 Comments

Acknowledging the Self Control Crisis

I recently did a book review of Strong and Kind by Korie Robertson. I mentioned the idea presented in the book to choose two character traits that you would want to be the main focus in your home.

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J and I chose Self-Controlled and Compassionate as our two character traits. J was the one to choose self-control and I went along with it because we are in this together. I have to be honest though, I really struggled with the idea of self-control as one of our main family goals. That did not sound like fun to me. It didn’t even sound biblical. Yes I do realize self-control is a fruit of the spirit, but subconsciously I hear the word “self” and I think “selfish” then add the word control and I think “controlling”. There is nothing I dislike more than a selfish controlling person. All we need is love right?

You guys must think I am crazy. The rest of you are probably obsessed with self-control and have it mastered.

So to avoid resentment about the very thing I am supposed to be imparting to my children I did a little research.

Scripture and truth about self-control began to resonate with me. It’s not glamorous. You won’t hear of people being honored at their funerals for how much self-control they had.

It’s a big deal though. It’s in the Bible for a reason and I am 100% on board with making it a priority in our home.

Obviously self-control that is contrived by legalism will only leave you feeling like a failure. On our own there is no way we can have a healthy balanced sense of self-discipline. Biblical self-control however is critical. It means having a backbone in the face of temptation and denying one’s flesh. It’s doing the exact opposite of what our culture says to do (which would only leave us hopeless in the end). The lust of the flesh is an ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure as C.S. Lewis puts it.

Proverbs 25:28 says a man without self-control is like a city broken and left without walls. I have seen the affects of this. I’ve watched powerful ministries ripped to shreds due to a lack of self-control. It can cost you everything. You can have so much success that you are standing among the stars, but without following God’s command for self control the enemy has the perfect opportunity to kick the ladder right out from under you. Having self-control actually amplifies and supports the other spiritual fruits. It allows you to have integrity as you serve and move in the gifts of the spirit. I definitely want that for my children.

So when it comes to self-control as a core value in our home I’m still not like Ohhh yay! I love self-control. I know my kid’s will too. Now let’s practice by setting a jar of forbidden candy on the coffee table. Woo hoo!

What I do know though is that the media is screaming indulgence! Our society reeks of entitlement. We are a nation of instant gratification who would rather point fingers than take responsibility for anything. We have a self-control deficiency!

Enough is enough. It’s going to take an intentional effort on my part to teach my children the truth. God has given us instructions, a path, and a plan. The Holy Spirit guides us and has given us the reins of self-control. I want myself and my family to grab ahold of those reins.

So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

-1 Corinthians 9:26

By Natalie| February 2nd, 2016|My Life, Parenting Tips, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Messy Mom 2015 Book Reviews

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Last year I did multiple posts reviewing and rating the books that I read in 2014. The next year I had the best of intentions to take notes as I read. I wanted to be prepared to deliver excerpts and thoughts from each book.

Did I do that? No. So each review will be short and sweet. The “Messy Mom Rating” is just a heads up about what kind of content is included because I like to know these things when I read a book. It’s easy to do when you are going to watch a movie, but books don’t include that kind of information. Anyway, feel free to skim through and be inspired. Also, please let me know what you have been reading. I am always looking for recommendations.

American Sniper by Chris Kyle

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This book is such an unusual pick for me, but I have connections with the Kyle family. I have never met Christ Kyle, but we went to the same High School so I really enjoyed reading about his background. American Sniper definitely gives a close up look at war. I learned so many new things as I read and it challenged me to really assess my feelings about killing, guns, military etc. The book has a ton more details than the movie, but I thought the movie was good too and did an excellent job keeping the story accurate.

Messy Mom Rating: R This book is full of profanity and violence.

2. The Woman Who Can’t Forget by Jill Price

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This book is about a woman with an exceptional memory. She remembers everything she experienced in life since she was a toddler. You could give her any date and she could tell you exactly what happened int he news and everything. She is plagued by memories as they just pop up in hear mind constantly. The average person has about 3 to 5 involentary memories a day, but it is about 10 times that for this woman.

For her not only is she forced to remember, but she sees it all vividly and her whole body responds with the exact same emotions. So even though she is an adult now and she is not longer devastated that she missed her field trip at school she would emotionally experience everything that felt when it happened at 8 years old! She said it’s exhausting and I can only imagine that it would be. That part of the story is kind of depressing, but it is one of the most fascinating memoirs I have ever read. I highly recommend this book if the brain and psychology intrigue you.

Messy Mom Rating: PG

3. Foxcatcher by Mark Schultz

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Foxcatcher is a true story about two professional wrestlers that were brothers and how they were connected to John DuPont (one of the wealthiest men in America). Dupont was pretty much insane and he ends up being a murderer. Some parts of this book were boring other parts were riveting. There is a lot of wrestling in it. I enjoy learning about a variety of topics and olympic wrestling is definitely out of the box for me. The book was decent, but it is pretty creepy.

Messy Mom Rating: I really don’t remember what kind of content was in the book, but the movie is rated R so that’s probably what I would rate the book.

4. The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

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The Girl on the Train is a murder mystery. I like how the plot twists and turns. The main character in the book is an alcoholic and I felt like the author did a really great job expressing what that would be like to struggle with that kind of addiction. Even though it’s sad I had a lot of appreciation for that aspect of the book. It’s like I have a better understanding of what some people are going through that deal with that.

Messy Mom Rating: R because this book had some sexual content and language. It may not be “rated R” but I can’t remember so I’ll just play it safe and give that warning.

5-7. The Kiss, Black, and Red by Ted Dekker

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I have written some of my thoughts already about Ted Dekker. I think he’s a great author. The Kiss is a thriller and I enjoyed it. Black and Red are the first two in a series of Fantasy novels. I don’t really get into stuff like that, but my husband has thoroughly enjoyed the books. He has read several others and he usually into novels at all so that is saying a lot.

Messy Mom Rating: G he’s a christian author and the books I have read of his all have a positive message

8. American Wife by Taya Kyle

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I have a ton of respect for Taya Kyle (The American Sniper’s wife) and all that she has been through. I didn’t love this book, but it wasn’t bad. It’s pretty much the Chris Kyle story from her perspective. There was some really touching and interesting parts, but I didn’t find myself that interested in the book. Maybe it was just bad timing, but that’s my honest opinion.

Messy Mom Rating: PG

9. The Vow by Kim and Krickett Carpenter

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I LOVED this book!!! It’s about a newlywed couple in a tragic car accident and the wife looses all of her memory of her husband. They have a really cute story of how they met. The book is a tear jerker but such a beautiful testimony of how they fall in love a second time. I watched the movie and it was NOTHING like the book. I recommend the book, but not the movie. That’s just me personally.

Messy Mom Rating: G It’s a christian couple and they give glory to God through the whole book.

10. Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos

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I loved this book too. The author is the same woman who wrote and starred in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. If you are interested in adoption or even if you just want a candid look at what it is like for women who struggle with infertility then I recommend this book. It’s not that I loved every bit of it, but it was really good.

Messy Mom Rating: PG It’s clean, but it’s not a faith based book if that makes sense.

By Natalie| January 12th, 2016|My Life, Uncategorized|1 Comment

Top 10 Ways You Know You Are Obsessed With the Docuseries “Making a Murderer”

I hardly ever watch any TV and maybe that’s because when I do get into a show I really get into it.
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So maybe you have heard of the new series on Netflix called “Making a Murderer”. It’s kind of like a glorified 48 hours Investigates. I heard that if you liked the first season of the Serial podcast you will like this, and so I started it and finished all 10 episodes over the past 4 days. I don’t even know how to get the show out of my head now. I’m sure with all the surrounding hype I can’t be the only one dealing with this.

Here is my list of Top Ten Signs You Are Obsessed With “Making a Murderer”

10. You talk to people like a lawyer asking yes and no questions.

Is it true that on January 3rd you sent me a text message stating that we needed to hang out soon?

That’s all. No further questions.

9. You have bizarre dreams like that Brendan Dassey lost weight and Steven Avery married the old lady in the prison.

8. Despite hearing it 200 times you still aren’t sure you know how to pronounce or spell Manitowoc.

7. Your husband falls asleep during your rant about the case.

6. You start using a Wisconsin accent. Come on yous know you do! Yeah?

5. You want to kick off your shoes and have a chat on the couch with Dean Strang.

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4. You accidentally call it Natflix instead of Netflix (this only applies if your name is Natalie. You can insert your own name).

3. Eventually you know exactly how far to fast forward to get through the ridiculously boring instrumental intro.

2. You are a part of the growing number of armchair detectives.

and the number 1 way you can tell you are obsessed with “Making a Murder”….

You blog about the top ten ways you know you are obsessed with Making a Murder.

By Natalie| January 8th, 2016|My Life, Uncategorized|4 Comments

I wasn’t going to do a word for the year this year, but then God just sort of dropped this in my lap and was like Yes you are.

The first way the word “Next” came to me was because I was wondering what this next chapter of our story would be. We have overcome many of the major life hurdles that we have encountered over the past 4 years. We found a house to rent. We had our 4th and final child. My husband completed school and got a job that is an actual career. I feel like we are entering a new season of life and are ready for the NEXT chapter.

Then the word came to me again in something that my Children’s pastor (from way back when) wrote in a comment that she left when I shared my birth story. She said how proud she was of my “determination to just do the next right thing”.

Just do the next right thing.

I had never heard of this quote before, but I have been mentally chewing on it ever since. It fits the scenario of my birth story so well because I had to focus on each thing, step by step. The baby was going to come so I acted on it. After that her head was out and I knew I needed to do one more push and get her body out. After that I knew I needed to wrap her up. After that put her on my chest. After that call the hospital and so on.

There was no planning it out. I was just doing the next right thing. It’s all I could do.

Since then baby Elle has been diagnosed with hearing loss and there is so much that we don’t know. Will she loose all her hearing? Will she have hearing aids? Will she need therapy? For how long? I can’t see the whole picture at all. No one can. It drives me crazy. What I can do is rely on God and just do the next right thing. So there is that word again. NEXT.

Lastly, I feel like the Lord has also prompted me to get help from those NEXT to me. When SJ was diagnosed we had just moved. All of my friends were far away in another state and it was tough. Here we are nearly four years later and I still have friends far away, but I have so many friends that are close by too. All of these women have been texting me, praying for me, and encouraging me. I need that more than anything! I need those neighbors, partners, allies to come along side me and walk NEXT to me as I go through this uncharted territory.

The next season of life. The next right thing. The people next to me.

NEXT.

I can’t wait to see what happensas I continue to unwrap the word and all that it holds for 2016.

By Natalie| January 4th, 2016|My Life, Pregnancy & Birth, Uncategorized|9 Comments

This Time is Different

I sat in the exam room with a tightness in my throat. I had felt fine, but as the reality of it all sank in the emotions rose up. I began to cry hot tears. I felt the need to apologize because I don’t like making other people feel uncomfortable. The audiologist responded in a firm voice ” Do not apologize.” She told me that I was completely entilted to respond any way I wanted and that just because I have been there before that does not make it any easier.

This was what happened a week and a half ago at Elle’s ABR hearing screening. As you can imagine this means that the results were not good. I thought Elle could hear, and I was right. She can hear. She responds to many different sounds, but she still has hearing loss and it’s in both ears. I wasn’t going to talk about it until I knew more, but I am ready to talk about it now. Especially since I just got off the phone with the early intervention specialists who are ready to come over and set up her first IFSP. SJ has an IEP which is an Individualized Education Program because she is in school. Before that you have an Individual Family Service Plan which is when case worker helps you come up with appropriate strategies or goals for your preschool age child with special needs.

So just like that Elle has Special Needs. She is 6 weeks old and already considered delayed because she can’t hear well. I am being blunt, but don’t worry. I am not concerned for her. I think labels are silly. I remember when I was being interviewed for a research study and I was asked how I felt about my daughter’s “exceptionality” and I said “Excuse me? Her what?”. “Exceptionality” she repeated. That’s what they are calling it now. I laughed at such a desperate attempt to not offend. I am comfortable with hearing loss, deafness, disability, exceptionality whatever you want to call it. It does however mean our calendar, our budget, and even major life decisions like where to live will look different over the next few years because of this.

Hearing that my daughter has hearing loss is so different this time. I continue to process a myriad of emotions. On the one hand Elle’s hearing loss is mild. It’s complicated and I won’t go into all the details, but that’s good news. SJ’s hearing loss was profound. At least by the time we found out it was. When Elle had her appointment J explained that we speculate SJ had previously had more hearing, but then lost it over time. He asked if that could happen with Elle. The audiologist said it certainly could. That’s a hard fact to swallow. I don’t know if I should assume the worst and hope for the best? I have a lot of questions for her ENT.

On that note, the fact that we already have an ENT, an audiologist, a school, and a support group in place is awesome! With SJ I was given a stack of books for parents of deaf children and I felt completely overwhelmed. This time is different. I have a newborn instead of a toddler. I live in Ohio rather than Kentucky. I will be dealing with hearing aids rather than cochlear implants (at least for now). I feel fairly equipped, but also uncertain.

I have so many questions and other concerns, but I will have to wait another month to even talk to certain specialists. The day of Elle’s hearing test was the first day of Christmas break for the kids and we went right into all of the Holiday gatherings. First was celebration with my family followed by a week of festivities with my in laws. That was actually good timing though because I had no obligations and have been pretty much distracted by Christmasy things. However now we prepare for evaluations, testing, hearing aids, and therapies. It’s really happening. I am doing okay, but I am also a bit of a basket case from time to time. Elle on the other hand is doing great. She is such a precious treasure and we all adore her.

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I know many of my family and friends are going to be finding out about this for the first time. I didn’t know the best way to deliver this announcement. It’s not dreadful news like a terminal illness or something, but it’s not like announcing a pregnancy either.

I hope you’ll bear with me as I navigate this new journey because it might look similar, but this time is different.

By Natalie| December 28th, 2015|Babies, Hearing Loss, My Life, Special Needs|25 Comments

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