My Life – Messymom

Back to School After 17 Months

I dropped all four of my kids off at school today.

This is significant for SO many reasons. For one thing it’s Elle’s first time in school. She started half day Kindergarten today!

That means for a couple hours all four kids are in school at the same time which is crazy to me. For the past 14 years there has always been a baby (or babies) at home with me. The fact that all of them are in school is mind blowing!

The other reason this milestone is a big deal is because we homeschooled last year and the year before that school abruptly went to remote learning in March. That makes 17 months since my children have been to traditional school. I have so many thoughts and feeling swirling around in the middle of all this and I figured why not dump them out on the internet in case anyone else is feeling the same way?

I know the topic of masks is polarizing! I have dear friends that are all about masks and vaccines and I have those that are the opposite. I’ve always had a holistic bend. We did home birth, cloth diapers, delayed vaccines, co-sleeping, and more. You can probably guess where I fall in the midst of all this pandemic confusion. For me it’s always been about trusting my body. That DEFINITELY includes listening to Doctors and taking medications, but I lean more towards the natural approach. I’ve always been like this. My mom had an unmedicated home birth with me so I guess you could say I was literally born this way. Add to that, the fact that my daughter is 100% deaf and even with cochlear implants she relies heavily on facial expressions, lip reading, proximity, and clarity of sound.

That’s why we ended up homeschooling last year. If you had someone deliberately design the worst possible environment for my daughter to hear it would include masks, shields, and distance.

So we homeschooled for all of the 20/21 school year. There were highs and lows, but I don’t regret it at all. It was the right choice for us. Then at the end of the year I felt led to put the kids back in school (for the upcoming school year). So I contacted out district and started sorting out what that would look like. I talked to teachers, therapists, and parents. I wanted to make the right choice and J and I prayerfully decided to enroll our kids for the 21/22 school year. Everything was working out great and masks were not mandated. That was until last week when the school decided that they needed to reconsider this decision. A board meeting was scheduled for less than 36 hours before the school year started. There was a heated debate between community members proclaiming why the school would be reckless and irresponsible if they chose not to mandate masks and the other side having the same feelings if they did mandate it. It was intense. I let the kids watch and we used it as a learning experience. We discussed both sides. We also talked about the best way to get involved in a positive and respectful way when you are passionate about something.

Then someone appeared on the screen that we recognized. It was one of Z’s good friends wearing a mask and making a case for the mask mandate. “Wait.. is that…?” Zion mumbled. We all sat quietly. When he finished I paused it. I said “Did you guys know who that was?” and they said yes. “How does he feel about masks?” “He wants masks to be mandatory” Ezie said. “Z how do you feel about masks?” I asked. “I don’t like them”. He said. For the record I have never pushed this on him. He understands the rules and we always obey them. He wears glasses and hates how the mask fogs them up and his sister is deaf. He is entitled to his own opinion.

“Can Z and this kid still be friends?” I asked. “YES” they all agreed. “Was this kid brave and do a great job talking peacefully about this subject” “YES” They all said in unison.

The meeting lasted 4 hours and ended after midnight. We only watched little bits of a recording, we weren’t watching live. It was less than 24 hours before the first day of school when the school announced that the board had voted in favor of the mask mandate.

Afterwards I poked my head in Z’s room. He was on a message board typing a message to his friend that just spoke out at the board meeting. I asked what he was up to and Z said he wanted to tell him he did a good job. I tensed up a bit. I was worried this would cause conflict because maybe the kid would start name calling unmasked people or that his compliment would be confusing if Z showed up not wearing a mask. A number of scenarios rolled through my mind. But the conversation through text went like this-

Z: Hi.

Friend: Hi.

Z: Great job on your speech. I think it’s good that you care about your little sister like that.

Friend: Thanks!

Z: Do you have Rocket League?

Rocket league is a video game and the conversation went on from there. I tear up even writing that. With all the terrible mud slinging and division I have witnessed from all sides, my mind immediately went to the worst. I imagined a big rift or heated debate. I got out of the way though and let my son encourage his friend and it was fine. It was so beautifully refreshing.

Speaking of refreshing I have been fasting for 21 days in August. Church of the Highlands is leading a 21 days of prayer event with a prayer guide and online services right now (click the link if you are interested). As I faced all of the confusion this week with the last minute mask mandate I have been reminded over and over that I need to trust God. He gave me a peace about sending my kids back to school last May. Then things started going topsy turvy and the Delta variant started springing up and my inner alarm was blaring. I doubted God, but He spoke to me in my prayer time. I felt him say that HE didn’t change. The circumstances around me may have changed but He didn’t. Then right when I was explaining to J about all of this a rainbow showed up at our front door reminding me even more that God keeps his promises.

No one wants this Covid stuff to continue. It’s been a nightmare. A friend of mine told me that she was reflecting on how when Peter looked at the waves he started sinking. We can’t focus on the storm. We have to focus on Jesus. We have to keep our posture in alignment with Him. That’s made all the difference for me in this time of uncertainty.

Against all the odds I am looking forward to a great school year.

By Natalie|2023-06-12T06:24:13+00:00August 18, 2021|My Life|0 Comments

Baby Elle 5 Months

Here we are on the tippy tail end of Aril and Elle is closer to 6 months than she is to 5, but I haven’t posted an update yet.

At 5 months she weighed 17 pounds. She is in the top 25th percentile for weight. Maybe that’s why she isn’t very mobile yet.

The day she turned 5 months (April 10th) it snowed, which is crazy, but as soon as the weather cleared up a little I took her outside. I wanted to get a picture of her in some winter clothes that she wouldn’t be able to fit in next year.

Unfortunately Elle was captivated by all the sights, textures, and sounds of the outdoors and she didn’t give me and my camera the slightest glance. I eventually gave up. The perk of being a photographer is that when she woke up from her nap with a big smile on her face I grabbed the camera again and started shooting.

She rolls over now. Mostly back to tummy and she can push herself up a lot more than what you see her doing in this photo.

She still has blue eyes although I can already see some pigment coming in. The jury is still out on whether they will be brown or green though.

Elle continues to do well in occupational therapy and speech therapy. She is also still exclusively breast fed and obviously not missing any meals (I hear that comment a lot). So everything is going great with baby Elle. She could not be loved anymore than we all love her, that’s for sure. She is precious and I am beyond blessed to be her mom.

By Natalie|2023-06-12T06:34:08+00:00April 29, 2016|My Life, Speech Therapy|1 Comment

Messy Blog

Every once in a while I have to do some house keeping on the blog. If you know me, or even if you just note the name of my blog, I am not that great at house keeping. This is why my blog is a mess. It might not look like a mess to you, but if you could see behind the virtual walls you would find broken links, outdated articles, and probably some messed up code.

It was a year ago that I launched The New Messy Mom Blog and basically I am ready to do that again. I won’t be doing a new site this time, but I will be taking the time to clean out ALL my old blog post.

Here is what this means. I am going to be going through over 1,500 blog entries! A lot of them I need to throw in the trash, but some I will update, and some I am basically rewriting and republishing.

Last year I took a big step by changing to self hosting, having a custom design and incorporating some high quality videos like my welcome video and gender reveal video. I started having sponsored posts, and reviews, as well as some giveaways. It was a good year, but I have so much more that I want to do and I’ve got to take care of some maintenance stuff before I can really move forward.

So I’ll be sharing old stuff remixed, some new stuff that I am really excited about, and regular family updates. Thanks for following and supporting me. I am sorry the site has been down so much. I know I have announced that it was fixed in the past, but hopefully that really will happen soon.

I’ll sign off with a recent photo of baby Elle and my new haircut just because I don’t think I posted any here on the blog.

Happy Monday everyone.

By Natalie|2016-04-11T13:38:46+00:00April 11, 2016|My Life|6 Comments

Personality Tests

I have been reading H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick while we are out of town for spring break and it has been really enlightening.

In the chapter “A Habit of Self- Discovery” Lomenick suggests several different personality tests and recommends reviewing the results side by side looking for echoes.

The first test I did was similar to a Strength Finders test and found that my main talent (according to this test) is “Believing”.

The results showed that

Individuals with the Believing talent can have a solid set of core values by which they choose to live. This talent can enhance ethical standards and integrity, and when presented with alternative paths will tend to choose the ‘right one’.

As I said at the beginning of the year my word for 2016 is “Next” as in just do the next right thing. So that’s was a cool confirmation.

The next test I took was the Myer’s Briggs. I have taken this before, but I always forget what the 4 letters are. It looks like I am an ENFP (extraverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving). Everything I have read about this personality seems to fit my own.

The last one I did was DISC which was also neat. These are my results in a nutshell.

Out of all of these results I realized that I am really high on the emotional strengths and lower on the structured ones. For example some of my highest strengths are being a positive, motivating, harmonious unifier. The things I am the most lacking in are being commanding, responsible, strategic, deliberate, and disciplined.

As I have mentioned before J and I are opposite. When we chose our core values for our family mine was compassion and his was self control. We are apart on love language too. Mine has always been words of affirmation by a landslide and his is acts of service. Acts of service are almost pointless to me. I appreciate them, but they don’t make me feel more loved. I guess we balance each other out.

According to H3 Leadership personality tests are a way to “step outside of yourself and more clearly survey how you’re built.” It’s an emotionless snapshot of you identify, gifts, and passions.

Have you taken any of these tests? What areas do you thrive in the most?

By Natalie|2016-03-30T21:18:59+00:00March 30, 2016|My Life, Uncategorized|2 Comments

Elle at 4 months

Elle has had a major growth spurt over the past month. It’s like someone pulled the cord on a self inflating raft and she just instantly filled out. She is currently sitting at 14 pounds of super cute chunkiness.

Here she is doing some tummy time in her Dr. Seuss diaper. I held back on cloth diapers the first couple months because I was just trying to get back on my feet.

Now that I am back into my routine I’m starting to feel so much better, physically and emotionally.

There aren’t too many developmental milestones to report other than that Elle is getting stronger and more curious.

She appears to be my first thumb sucker of the bunch (just like her momma was) and she is also starting to explore by wanting to put things in her mouth.

We just love having her around!

By Natalie|2016-03-11T16:19:01+00:00March 11, 2016|Babies, My Life|2 Comments

I’m Back… Hopefully

Things have been a little crazy at messymom.com. Mostly because of technical issues causing my website to crash repeatedly all day every day. So if you come to MessyMom.com and it looks like it no longer exists, just hang tight because it probably just means the website crashed again. I really hope that won’t be the case anymore. I think J’s troubleshooting is starting to bring some resolve. I hope so because I have some exciting blog essays, guest posts, tutorials, and even a giveaway planned for the near future so keep your eyes peeled for that stuff. In the mean time here are some photos of what has been happening in my messy life.

I did my first photo shoot since my “maternity leave”. It was of a ballet recital. The whole thing was so powerful I was moved to tears and if all goes as planned SJ will be starting lessons with this group in about a week! There is more to the story, but I’ll try to keep my mouth shut until it’s officially official.

Z got to bring home a Guenia Pig from school last weekend. I have recommended the book Humphrey the Hamster before and they do the same thing in that book series (have a class pet that goes home with students on the weekend). Z’s teacher says it’s a great way to make learning fun and connect what they are doing at school to home. I LOVE that!

Today all of the kids are out of school due to snow. It’s really pretty outside. The snowflakes are so huge you just absolutely have to lift your head up, open your mouth, and try to catch them with your tongue.

Z had his 2nd pinewood derby recently. He got 2nd place for creativity! It was a father son effort, but Z came up with the idea and did most of the work on his own. We are so proud of this ~~little~~ guy.

SJ celebrated the 100th day of school in style. They were supposed to dress like 100 year olds (if you follow me on Facebook you probably saw a lot of these pics already). I didn’t have much notice that she was supposed to dress up so we just went through the closet and chose anything that happen to look like it could fit the grandma stereotype.

J and I got to go see two of our all time favorite artists at a local venue. John Mark McMillan and Josh Garrels, for those who are curious. The last time I was at a concert was at this same venue and I was pregnant with Elle (it was John Foreman). This time she was outside of the womb and protecting those little ears with noise cancellation headphones.

She was so great at the show. She slept through the whole thing!

Lastly, we watched the Super Bowl with just the two of us (the 6 of us until the kids went to bed). It was a great excuse to chow down on pizza, appetizers, brownies, and pie. We had a great time and were happy to see the Peyton Manning get another victory. I know we are only a month and a half into, but I’d say 2016 has been a pretty great year so far.

By Natalie|2016-02-09T09:35:36+00:00February 9, 2016|My Life|4 Comments

Acknowledging the Self Control Crisis

I recently did a book review of Strong and Kind by Korie Robertson. I mentioned the idea presented in the book to choose two character traits that you would want to be the main focus in your home.

J and I chose Self-Controlled and Compassionate as our two character traits. J was the one to choose self-control and I went along with it because we are in this together. I have to be honest though, I really struggled with the idea of self-control as one of our main family goals. That did not sound like fun to me. It didn’t even sound biblical. Yes I do realize self-control is a fruit of the spirit, but subconsciously I hear the word “self” and I think “selfish” then add the word control and I think “controlling”. There is nothing I dislike more than a selfish controlling person. All we need is love right?

You guys must think I am crazy. The rest of you are probably obsessed with self-control and have it mastered.

So to avoid resentment about the very thing I am supposed to be imparting to my children I did a little research.

Scripture and truth about self-control began to resonate with me. It’s not glamorous. You won’t hear of people being honored at their funerals for how much self-control they had.

It’s a big deal though. It’s in the Bible for a reason and I am 100% on board with making it a priority in our home.

Obviously self-control that is contrived by legalism will only leave you feeling like a failure. On our own there is no way we can have a healthy balanced sense of self-discipline. Biblical self-control however is critical. It means having a backbone in the face of temptation and denying one’s flesh. It’s doing the exact opposite of what our culture says to do (which would only leave us hopeless in the end). The lust of the flesh is an ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure as C.S. Lewis puts it.

Proverbs 25:28 says a man without self-control is like a city broken and left without walls. I have seen the affects of this. I’ve watched powerful ministries ripped to shreds due to a lack of self-control. It can cost you everything. You can have so much success that you are standing among the stars, but without following God’s command for self control the enemy has the perfect opportunity to kick the ladder right out from under you. Having self-control actually amplifies and supports the other spiritual fruits. It allows you to have integrity as you serve and move in the gifts of the spirit. I definitely want that for my children.

So when it comes to self-control as a core value in our home I’m still not like Ohhh yay! I love self-control. I know my kid’s will too. Now let’s practice by setting a jar of forbidden candy on the coffee table. Woo hoo!

What I do know though is that the media is screaming indulgence! Our society reeks of entitlement. We are a nation of instant gratification who would rather point fingers than take responsibility for anything. We have a self-control deficiency!

Enough is enough. It’s going to take an intentional effort on my part to teach my children the truth. God has given us instructions, a path, and a plan. The Holy Spirit guides us and has given us the reins of self-control. I want myself and my family to grab ahold of those reins.

So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

-1 Corinthians 9:26

By Natalie|2016-02-03T14:06:38+00:00February 2, 2016|My Life, Parenting Tips, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Messy Mom 2015 Book Reviews

Last year I did multiple posts reviewing and rating the books that I read in 2014. The next year I had the best of intentions to take notes as I read. I wanted to be prepared to deliver excerpts and thoughts from each book.

Did I do that? No. So each review will be short and sweet. The “Messy Mom Rating” is just a heads up about what kind of content is included because I like to know these things when I read a book. It’s easy to do when you are going to watch a movie, but books don’t include that kind of information. Anyway, feel free to skim through and be inspired. Also, please let me know what you have been reading. I am always looking for recommendations.

American Sniper by Chris Kyle

This book is such an unusual pick for me, but I have connections with the Kyle family. I have never met Christ Kyle, but we went to the same High School so I really enjoyed reading about his background. American Sniper definitely gives a close up look at war. I learned so many new things as I read and it challenged me to really assess my feelings about killing, guns, military etc. The book has a ton more details than the movie, but I thought the movie was good too and did an excellent job keeping the story accurate.

Messy Mom Rating: R This book is full of profanity and violence.

2. The Woman Who Can’t Forget by Jill Price

This book is about a woman with an exceptional memory. She remembers everything she experienced in life since she was a toddler. You could give her any date and she could tell you exactly what happened int he news and everything. She is plagued by memories as they just pop up in hear mind constantly. The average person has about 3 to 5 involentary memories a day, but it is about 10 times that for this woman.

For her not only is she forced to remember, but she sees it all vividly and her whole body responds with the exact same emotions. So even though she is an adult now and she is not longer devastated that she missed her field trip at school she would emotionally experience everything that felt when it happened at 8 years old! She said it’s exhausting and I can only imagine that it would be. That part of the story is kind of depressing, but it is one of the most fascinating memoirs I have ever read. I highly recommend this book if the brain and psychology intrigue you.

Messy Mom Rating: PG

3. Foxcatcher by Mark Schultz

Foxcatcher is a true story about two professional wrestlers that were brothers and how they were connected to John DuPont (one of the wealthiest men in America). Dupont was pretty much insane and he ends up being a murderer. Some parts of this book were boring other parts were riveting. There is a lot of wrestling in it. I enjoy learning about a variety of topics and olympic wrestling is definitely out of the box for me. The book was decent, but it is pretty creepy.

Messy Mom Rating: I really don’t remember what kind of content was in the book, but the movie is rated R so that’s probably what I would rate the book.

4. The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

The Girl on the Train is a murder mystery. I like how the plot twists and turns. The main character in the book is an alcoholic and I felt like the author did a really great job expressing what that would be like to struggle with that kind of addiction. Even though it’s sad I had a lot of appreciation for that aspect of the book. It’s like I have a better understanding of what some people are going through that deal with that.

Messy Mom Rating: R because this book had some sexual content and language. It may not be “rated R” but I can’t remember so I’ll just play it safe and give that warning.

5-7. The Kiss, Black, and Red by Ted Dekker

I have written some of my thoughts already about Ted Dekker. I think he’s a great author. The Kiss is a thriller and I enjoyed it. Black and Red are the first two in a series of Fantasy novels. I don’t really get into stuff like that, but my husband has thoroughly enjoyed the books. He has read several others and he usually into novels at all so that is saying a lot.

Messy Mom Rating: G he’s a christian author and the books I have read of his all have a positive message

8. American Wife by Taya Kyle

I have a ton of respect for Taya Kyle (The American Sniper’s wife) and all that she has been through. I didn’t love this book, but it wasn’t bad. It’s pretty much the Chris Kyle story from her perspective. There was some really touching and interesting parts, but I didn’t find myself that interested in the book. Maybe it was just bad timing, but that’s my honest opinion.

Messy Mom Rating: PG

9. The Vow by Kim and Krickett Carpenter

I LOVED this book!!! It’s about a newlywed couple in a tragic car accident and the wife looses all of her memory of her husband. They have a really cute story of how they met. The book is a tear jerker but such a beautiful testimony of how they fall in love a second time. I watched the movie and it was NOTHING like the book. I recommend the book, but not the movie. That’s just me personally.

Messy Mom Rating: G It’s a christian couple and they give glory to God through the whole book.

10. Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos

I loved this book too. The author is the same woman who wrote and starred in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. If you are interested in adoption or even if you just want a candid look at what it is like for women who struggle with infertility then I recommend this book. It’s not that I loved every bit of it, but it was really good.

Messy Mom Rating: PG It’s clean, but it’s not a faith based book if that makes sense.

By Natalie|2016-01-12T12:49:28+00:00January 12, 2016|My Life, Uncategorized|1 Comment

Top 10 Ways You Know You Are Obsessed With the Docuseries “Making a Murderer”

I hardly ever watch any TV and maybe that’s because when I do get into a show I really get into it.

So maybe you have heard of the new series on Netflix called “Making a Murderer”. It’s kind of like a glorified 48 hours Investigates. I heard that if you liked the first season of the Serial podcast you will like this, and so I started it and finished all 10 episodes over the past 4 days. I don’t even know how to get the show out of my head now. I’m sure with all the surrounding hype I can’t be the only one dealing with this.

Here is my list of Top Ten Signs You Are Obsessed With “Making a Murderer”

10. You talk to people like a lawyer asking yes and no questions.

Is it true that on January 3rd you sent me a text message stating that we needed to hang out soon?

That’s all. No further questions.

9. You have bizarre dreams like that Brendan Dassey lost weight and Steven Avery married the old lady in the prison.

8. Despite hearing it 200 times you still aren’t sure you know how to pronounce or spell Manitowoc.

7. Your husband falls asleep during your rant about the case.

6. You start using a Wisconsin accent. Come on yous know you do! Yeah?

5. You want to kick off your shoes and have a chat on the couch with Dean Strang.

4. You accidentally call it Natflix instead of Netflix (this only applies if your name is Natalie. You can insert your own name).

3. Eventually you know exactly how far to fast forward to get through the ridiculously boring instrumental intro.

2. You are a part of the growing number of armchair detectives.

and the number 1 way you can tell you are obsessed with “Making a Murder”….

You blog about the top ten ways you know you are obsessed with Making a Murder.

By Natalie|2016-01-08T13:11:14+00:00January 8, 2016|My Life, Uncategorized|4 Comments

I wasn’t going to do a word for the year this year, but then God just sort of dropped this in my lap and was like Yes you are.

The first way the word “Next” came to me was because I was wondering what this next chapter of our story would be. We have overcome many of the major life hurdles that we have encountered over the past 4 years. We found a house to rent. We had our 4th and final child. My husband completed school and got a job that is an actual career. I feel like we are entering a new season of life and are ready for the NEXT chapter.

Then the word came to me again in something that my Children’s pastor (from way back when) wrote in a comment that she left when I shared my birth story. She said how proud she was of my “determination to just do the next right thing”.

Just do the next right thing.

I had never heard of this quote before, but I have been mentally chewing on it ever since. It fits the scenario of my birth story so well because I had to focus on each thing, step by step. The baby was going to come so I acted on it. After that her head was out and I knew I needed to do one more push and get her body out. After that I knew I needed to wrap her up. After that put her on my chest. After that call the hospital and so on.

There was no planning it out. I was just doing the next right thing. It’s all I could do.

Since then baby Elle has been diagnosed with hearing loss and there is so much that we don’t know. Will she loose all her hearing? Will she have hearing aids? Will she need therapy? For how long? I can’t see the whole picture at all. No one can. It drives me crazy. What I can do is rely on God and just do the next right thing. So there is that word again. NEXT.

Lastly, I feel like the Lord has also prompted me to get help from those NEXT to me. When SJ was diagnosed we had just moved. All of my friends were far away in another state and it was tough. Here we are nearly four years later and I still have friends far away, but I have so many friends that are close by too. All of these women have been texting me, praying for me, and encouraging me. I need that more than anything! I need those neighbors, partners, allies to come along side me and walk NEXT to me as I go through this uncharted territory.

The next season of life. The next right thing. The people next to me.

NEXT.