I love art, and drawing used to be my forte. So watching my kids create and use artistic expression is one of my favorite things.

Z and SJ have always impressed me with their drawing skills, but I am their mother so I guess this should come as no surprise. Not to imply that I am completely biased no matter what they present me. Case in point- I noticed the kids kept drawing triangles for noses. I let it go and complimented them on their work for a long time, but eventually I saw all aspects of their drawings improve except for that dang triangular nose.

Unless you are drawing Phineas Flyn (whose name I just had to google) then there is no need to draw a triangle!

So one night I decided to dust off the old drawing skills and do a little lesson in noses. I sat all four kids down at the dining room table and showed them exhibit A:

This drawing of Mega Mind is great, but Mega Mind is not a jack o lantern.

Then with pencil and paper in hand, we began to practice. 

Step 1, draw the nostrils which look like commas that were flipped on their sides (or tadpoles for the younger kids who haven’t learned about commas yet).

Step 2 is to add the parenthesis around the nostrils.

Step 3 is to bring in the hook. This is the nose.

We don’t have flat noses and there are no lines on our noses.  What we are really trying to do is draw the shadows which would fall over a three dimensional surface. The hook can go to the left or the right, but to keep it realistic only do one or the other. One thing you can do to demonstrate this is have the child take a selfie on the phone with light coming in at an angle. Then allow the child to observe how their nose casts a shadow on their face.

Almost all of lines we see on our face are really just shadows. This realization will make your art work come to life!  

So there.

This isn’t award winning portrait drawing, but it is better than a triangle right?

Z did an excellent job.

I was really proud of SJ too.

Ezie looked down at his unidentifiable nostrils and said “Why don’t mine look like yours?”. I smiled at my precious little preschooler. I told him he was doing a great job and assured him if he kept practicing he would get it eventually.

A week later I stumbled upon this notebook paper.

I believe it is a drawing of a boy with some excessively large backward nostrils. Ezie had been practicing alright, but I was beginning to wonder if maybe I had placed too much emphasis on the nostrils. Who nose?

With Veteran’s Day coming up this weekend, I thought it would be fitting to highlight a veteran for this month’s Inspiring Mom. So I contacted my blogging friend Amanda Huffman and she graciously accepted my request.

Amanda served in the Air Force for six years as a Civil Engineer including a deployment to Afghanistan.

She first thought about joining the military in college. She was experiencing a season of confusion and a lack of purpose during this transition into adulthood. Amanda’s major was in math, but she wasn’t even sure what she was going to do with this math degree when she graduated. So she ended up looking into enlisting in the Air Force because it provided direction for her life and it would also help pay for school when she completed her training.  Amanda originally set out to enlist in the Air National Guard. She was actually in the process of doing the required paperwork to enlist when she learned about the Reserve Officer Training Program. It peaked her interest and she went to an open house. Amanda liked what she saw and was ready to give the military thing a try. If all of this worked out she could still finish school, but with a scholarship. It seemed like a win-win! It ended up being a great opportunity for Amanda and she has no regrets about the decision she made. 

 When Amanda joined the ROTC program she switched degrees from math to Civil Engineering. Then in 2007, Amanda was commissioned as a 2nd Lieutenant and her job type was coded as a Civil Engineer. During her six years of service in the Air Force for six years she worked on various projects and programs ranging from environmental, construction, energy and her deployment to Afghanistan. Amanda’s role in the airforce is a little more complex than some because she was loaned out by the Air Force to complete an Army deployment. Amanda said she never expected to leave the safety of the base and interact with the people of Afghanistan and if you asked her before she left if she could do it she would have said no, but she proved herself wrong. 

Looking back Amanda said she enjoyed being a Civil Engineer in the Air Force. She describes it as a cool job that it takes you out from behind the desk and out in the field.

I can tell that despite the challenges and surprises of the military Amanda has fond memories of her time in the Air Force. I asked her what made her decide to get out and here was her answer:

When I was deployed to Afghanistan, I saw moms who had to call their kids and miss part of their lives. The whole experience of being deployed was difficult. And being away from my kids would have made the whole experience harder. My career field (Civil Engineering) had a high deployment tempo. The military has a 6-month window you can’t deploy after having a baby, I didn’t think that I could do that.

So, when I got pregnant with my son Luke, I decided it was time to leave the Air Force.

Another factor was the fact that Michael is in the service too. We never actually moved to a new assignment at the same time while we were in. This was inconvenient when it was just us, it would have been a whole lot harder with kids.

The best choice for our family was for me to leave the military.

Amanda assumed that after coming home from Afghanistan, doing the mom thing would be easy. She watched many of her friends take on the role of motherhood and they made it look effortless. It turned out parenthood was way harder than she expected and unlike the military it didn’t come with lots of training or a built-in support network.

While transitioning from combat boots to diaper bags was really hard, Amanda had kicked self-doubt to the curb before and was ready to do it again.  She remembered her experience of deployment and the feeling that she couldn’t face the unknown, but she did it. She adapted. She gave it everything she had and motherhood would be no different.

Amanda says that in the past four years she has seen a lot of growth within and has slowly adapted to mom life. She explains further “It doesn’t mean motherhood is easy, it is still hard, but I have found myself learning to give myself grace.” 

I asked Amanda if she has any advice for Military spouses and she said:

I think military spouses get a bad rap. People think they are along for a free ride, but military spouses play an important, vital role. Without the support of military spouses the military would cease to exist.

Military spouses may not be wearing the uniform, but they serve and make sacrifices. I admire military spouses and am right there with them in not liking the military some days and dreaming about what it would be like to stay in one place forever. Just remember that what you are doing matters and you serve too.

My final question was about whether Amanda could envision her children following in their military footsteps. It turns out that because Amanda’s oldest son was diagnosed with asthma when he was very young he can’t serve. Luckily, he has grown out of this diagnosis, but for now the current military rules still disqualify him from service. No matter what they choose Amanda says she will support whatever choices they make. She hopes that they will have positive memories from their life in the military and the adventures they take. The boys will be about to start high school when their dad reaches 20 years of service. Amanda wonders what life would be like without Military. It’s been such a huge part of her for so long. Then she shakes off the thought of it, there is plenty of time before she has to focus on that. For now it’s all about diaper changes, Disney Land (their favorite place to visit), and singing the ABC’s. 

I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Amanda in person yet, but as I’ve followed her blog and seen her passion for her country and her family there is no doubt in my mind that her boys will have the utmost respect for the military and all of those who have selflessly sacrificed. I am sure they already view their mom and dad as heroes. I know I do. 

The Huffman family is currently stationed in Southern California living the dream and making frequent trips to Disneyland. To hear more from Amand you can follow her blog, Airman to Mom where she incorporates stories from her past military life and  her unique experiences as both a veteran and military spouse. You can also find Amanda on Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest.

A couple months ago a friend of mine (a younger single friend mind you) posted this about an app called Ibotta.

“Sooooo, Brin and I are obsessed about a new app.

And okay, I hate when people post gimmicky crap or try to message me about the latest pyramid scheme. But this is one of those rebate apps and I’m super apprehensive about those usually…but Brin told me about it so I was like, well…Brin is smart this should be okay.

Anyway, I downloaded it and since yesterday I’ve made like $11.75 for stuff I buy anyway… and I’m not even trying. Like I could try, but I’m not.”

I figured that was an app for young single girls so I didn’t pay much attention. Then she posted this and I was intrigued. 

I am also very apprehensive about gimmicky crap and I don’t like to sell stuff for commissions, but since it was free I had nothing to loose, so I used her code and signed up. 

I started at the very beginning of September and got the automatic $10 bonus with my first rebate.

From there I just looked at what rebates were available in the stores I shopped at and I check off what I might be interested in. I have a grocery budget and I stick with it! I use some coupons and always look for generic/clearance/sale items. With Itoba I strayed from my list just a little bit knowing that I was earning money for some converse shoes that I wanted. I DID NOT go over budget though. I repeat I DID NOT spend more money on groceries in order to “save” money or “make” money.  

What I did do however is modify my usual list to make room for some items that I wouldn’t normally purchase. I like to treat myself to a candy bar pretty much everytime I shop so instead of my usual I tried the Oreo ones that had an awesome rebate. I also tried a new shampoo (which I really like now by the way). I added pork tenderloin to the menu because there was a rebate, but the pork tenderloin is something we enjoy and it’s a really economical meat. I can feed my whole family for 6 bucks with that meal. So you get the idea.

In full disclosure it doesn’t always go as planned. Some of you may hate the idea of worrying about rebates. The cash back may not be worth it to you. 

Sometimes I checked off rebate items then I got to the store and realized they cost too much and I was no longer interested so I didn’t buy them. Some items I could never even locate. One time I bought some sliced cheese and when I went to scan the barcode for the rebate it didn’t match so I guess I bought the wrong kind. That really frusterated me.

Even with all that I have managed to make $71 in less than 2 months!

I say earned not saved. When I go to the store I don’t deduct the rebates in my head. I stack coupons and sales and if I don’t want to pay the asking price without the rebate I will not buy it. I look at the rebate as a bonus, not a coupon. 

The minimum cash out is $20 which is not hard to get to and you can get it sent to your bank account through pay pals with no fee!

Or if you don’t want to mess with PayPal there are tons of gift cards to choose from. That part of it was surprisingly simple!

The video below is a very brief account of how I got my new shoes using Ibotta and keep in mind this is without any referals!

*I can’t get the video small enough to load, but you can watch it on Facebook*

I have since started getting referal bonuses including my husband who was amazed and jealous at my shoes and wanted to sign up! I told him he won’t get as much as me because I buy the groceries, but there are some other options besides groceries on there. Anyway with that said I certainly won’t mind if you do use my referral code *wink wink*. It’s cdwuljf and here is another link if you are interested. 

https://ibotta.com/r/cdwuljf

One last way you earn besides rebates and referrals is you get bonus dollars here and there just for getting a certain number of rebates or if your team meets a goal.

I know team sound very scammy, but your team is anyone you know on Facebook using Ibotta. I have never talked to these people about being on my team. I didn’t even know that I had a team! I just clicked on that part of the app one day and realized not only do I have dozens of Facebook friends using Ibotta some of them have earned hundreds of dollars. 

That’s my personal experience and if you want to save up for some new shoes are Christmas gift for someone special I’d give Ibotta a try. Okay enough already. 

First off, there are two things I felt compelled to embracing more of after reading Present Over Perfect.

1. Feelings. To actually allow myself to feel the negative emotions I prefer to push down.
2. Silence. I have tried allotting 3 minutes a day for a moment of silence. Key word- TRIED.

Recently I sat on the porch and I set my timer for three minutes. In this three minutes, I don’t pray, I don’t start going over my to do list; I just sit and feel. As I leaned back in my chair there was a cool breeze that brushed over my arms and my face. I gazed up at the slow movement of the August clouds. I felt such peace in that moment and I began to look further into the depths of the endless blue sky. I noticed vultures circling in the distance.

Que the record scratch. I sighed. Buzzards are such a buzz kill. How often do I point out majestic hawks to my family only to cancel my exuberance with “never mind it’s just a vulture”.

Vultures are gross. Even the Bible says so. They prey on the weak and sickly. Their ugly bald heads are featherless because it’s more sanitary for them when they dig their faces into a decaying piece of flesh. They have acidic urine that trickles down their legs and it actually  acts as a sterlizer after standing in rotting carcasses. Disgusting right? How do I know all this about vultures? Because I googled it of course, but the reason I googled it was because I felt God prompting me to look at the vultures with a different viewpoint. He was prodding me to see how important they are to the ecosystem and how they are one more fascinating part of the creation puzzle. They feed on animal carcasses, preventing the spread of deadly bacteria and fungus into the ground and water. Check out this article about where they are being poisoned and becoming extinct in India. It is NOT a pretty picture. When the vulture population went down the stray dogs and rat population went up causing thousands of people to die from rabbis! Vultures are like a flying garbage truck, not super cute, but very necessary.

My new viewpoint on vultures has led me further into my already altering view of my pain.

“It is terrifying: wildly unprotected, vulnerable, starring our wounds right in the face. But this is where we grow, where we learn, where our lives actually begin to change”

-Shauna Niequist

I don’t like to feel pain and discomfort, not emotional or otherwise. So when I feel anxious thoughts rise up I try to change the subject in my mind and just think happy thoughts. Yet, sometimes the thoughts are circling around in my head like vultures. That’s when I really want to just medicate with some kind of distraction like Facebook or sleep. However, in order to get through it, I have to go through it. I am just scratching the surface on allowing myself to have those thoughts. To really figure out what the root is and bring them to God and trade it in for truth. To say to myself I feel bad. Why is that? Let’s explore. Father bring captivity to every thought and make it obedient to Christ.

It turns out that often times these thoughts aren’t as scary and disturbing as I had always perceived them. They are just like the vultures. They get a bad rap, but it’s these unpleasant feelings that are often the catalyst for removal of the garbage I’ve been walking around with!

Ugly circling vultures indicates a wounded animal. Ugly circling thoughts indicates a wounded heart. Rather than detest or ignore those feelings of anxiety try letting them surface and facing them head on. Brene Brown says “You have to own your suffering or it will own you”

Maybe you are sad and you need to go ahead and have a good cry.

Perhaps you are lonely and you need to reach out to a friend.

If you feel like a failure, it’s time to reconnect with what the word of God says about who you are.

If you have regrets you might need to ask forgiveness.

Or if you are fearful, play some worship music and cry out to God.

What the enemy meant for evil God can use for good.

Vultures are still pretty nasty and I don’t want any metaphorical ones taking up residence in my mind. However, I will no longer shew them away and pretend they aren’t there. Instead I will unpack the pain and ask God in his infinite mercy to wash over me, teach me, and comfort me in the midst of the darkness.

It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it.

Ruppell’s Griffon vultures (Gyps rueppellii), Ndutu plain, Serengeti National Park, Tanzania, Africa
Photo by Charlie Hamilton James originally published in the National Geographic article “Vultures Are Revolting. Here’s Why We Need to Save Them.” .

I recently had the opportunity to interview Jen Hill who is a personal friend and hero of mine. Her family’s story is one that will undoubtedly inspire. I asked her to take us back to life in 2014 and explain the events that unfolded and how God has been miraculously been leading and providing every step of the way. Here is part of Jen’s story.

The year prior to the summer of 2014 had been a fairly rough stretch for me personally. I was pregnant with our fifth child, and I felt pretty lousy for months. I was homeschooling the kids, and the winter just about did me in that year! Thankfully, as the winter turned into spring, I started to turn a corner myself and we entered into the homestretch of the pregnancy.

By June 2014 we were hoping for a break. My husband Greg was settling into a new career in health insurance an there was a hope that life might finally be settling down for us. Surely there were better days ahead.

On June 21, 2014, we woke up ready to conquer the world. Baby #5 was due at any time. Nesting was in full force. Greg had noticed that the riding lawn mower wasn’t cutting the grass well. It was decided that he would run the blades over to a repair shop, come home and get us, and we’d swing back to pick up the blades and head to Costco for groceries. I’m not sure either of us really know how to process the fact that those blades got sharpened on that morning, but it’s part of the story, and we’ve been committed from day one to tell the story authentically and with open hearts.

We finished our errands and got back home. I laid our daughter down for her nap, and the rest of us headed outside to do yard work and clean up the garage. The three boys were outside with us. Our youngest son, Jude, had always been Greg’s sidekick. Jude was a helper.

At three and half years old, he was just the right size to fit in Dad’s lap while Greg mowed the lawn. So Greg took Jude and they began mowing the lawn. Jude even fell asleep that day. We have the pictures to prove it. He was wearing Greg’s ball cap, completely asleep on his lap. I snapped a picture of the dynamic duo and then carefully took Jude from Greg’s arms and sat on the swing in the backyard with Jude.

Jude woke up and we chatted, waved at Greg as he finished up the yard, and made funny faces over our excitement for the fancy ice cream sandwiches that we had purchased at Costco that morning. The plan was to enjoy the ice cream as soon as Greg was finished mowing.

Greg was nearly done so I left Jude sitting on the swing and headed into the garage to wrap up my work.

When I heard Greg screaming I felt like the world slid into slow motion. I knew by the sound of Greg’s scream that our world had just completely and forever changed. Greg had backed up the mower to go back over a spot in the yard, and unbeknownst to Greg, Jude had run up behind him.

When I walked out of the garage I could see that Jude’s left foot was completely gone and his right foot was severely damaged. Greg, screaming, was running towards me with Jude’s legs facing out. Even as I began to scream too, and react to the horror before me, I felt the Lord speak to me.

As we worked to get Jude stabilized, Greg was beside himself. I grabbed Greg by the face and told him that God was writing a story for us. Bottom line. God was still in control. Who says that in a moment like that? I can’t take credit for it! God was faithful. It was a lifeline for us from that moment on. It’s been our only rest.

Because of that day our vibrant, healthy three-year-old son became a double amputee. We spent nearly a month in the hospital, delivered his baby sister on Day 26, and all of us went back home together on Day 28.

Those weeks were incredibly full. Full of emotion, trauma, questions, grief, joy, pain…

We determined right away that the only way we could get through it was to face it head on.

We initially opted to stay local for Jude’s prosthetic care. Some of the medical team that were overseeing Jude’s care told us that where we went for his feet didn’t matter. They said product options wouldn’t vary. Considering our context, especially with a newborn, it seemed like a no brainer. Of course we would stay local! Why travel if the magic could happen locally?

Naturally, this was a total misstep. “Where” we went absolutely mattered. So much so that I’m not sure I can emphasize it enough. His first set of feet just did not work out. We were stunned. What of all those well-meaning people that said “kids are so resilient”. Why was he not up and running?

We learned pretty quickly that the medical world is not a clear, set path. Who knew? We had to stumble our way through and persist to figure out what Jude needed and where he could get it. The world of prosthetics (when done correctly) is this beautiful mix of art and craft with the required technical knowledge. We feel like we took the long way to find the right setup for Jude, but when we found it, we had a deep, deep joy.

I’m very grateful for the experts that we rely on. However, interestingly enough, it has been other parents that have played pivotal roles in our quest to get Jude the right kind of prosthetics. I tracked down another mom, and with her input I was able to get connected to Jude’s awesome prosthetist, “Mr. Dave,” in Chicago.

The rest is history. Less than 9 months after the accident Jude was running and playing soccer.

He now has two sets of feet: an everyday pair that allows him to run and walk and running blades for when he wants to go “extra fast.”

Jude had the grit and ability to do it all along, but we needed someone to give him the right tools. That’s how we view his special feet. They are tools that allow Jude to be Jude.

So that was the prosthetic side of things…but what of the emotional?

Coming home from the hospital was scary. We felt abandoned by all the medical care we were used to receiving in a hospital setting. No one was in charge. We were in charge! And that felt a bit scary. We’re the type of parents that want to be involved in every discussion, every decision, every step of the way. But we felt like our safety net was gone, and the whole transition home was jarring. Those were hard, overwhelming days. We had five children! One a newborn. One a double amputee. Three that had been separated from our close-knit family for weeks. A grieving dad. A grieving, post-partum mom. It all felt over the top.

Somehow I’m writing this and it’s been over three years. We made it through that. Grace upon grace upon grace. I have no other explanation. Jude is a beautiful picture of resilience. He has a gregarious personality, he’s a gifted athlete. He loves Jesus. He’s still Dad’s sidekick and helper.

My brain is now appalled that we allowed the kids outside while the yard was being mowed. I can easily recall the insensitive comments by people who hear our story and declare that they would never do such a thing. But my social media feeds tell a different story. Lots of people do it. Even people that know our story continue to snap the pictures of their cute kids on the mower with Dad.

Honestly, I can’t imagine our mission in life being centered on lawn mower safety. I refuse to let that define us. We can’t ever go back and change the events of that day. Yet, we hope people will realize how many children are injured every year because of lawn mowers (thousands upon thousands). We hope people will keep their kids inside while the yard is being mowed. But more than anything else, above ALL else, we hope anyone who hears our story knows that Jesus is enough.

Suffering has made our world so much bigger. Strange how that happens! My social media feeds are much more diverse. We’ve had the privilege of traveling to special events across the country with Jude. We’ve met so many incredible people, from United States senators, Paralympians, veterans, and everyday heroes that are the perfect picture of perseverance and grit.

The people we’ve met, and the widening of our world, is an aspect of all this hardship that I’m very thankful for…it is a beautiful thing to behold.

In all of this I am also learning that trauma takes time. We peel back layer after layer, only to find more there. Three years out and I honestly still feel like we’re only at the beginning. This has been a tough element! We feel very weak. We’re tired. Finances have never settled. We believe, but oh, Jesus, help us in our unbelief!

Jude faces constant stares and comments. It’s a lot for a 6 year old! He has days where he’s unable to wear his feet, or he is sore. He’s facing a surgical revision this winter. We know it’s just his reality now, and he’s a tough kid, but it’s hard.

I’ve always prayed that our kids would love Jesus with all their hearts and all their souls and all their minds and all their strength. So convicting to my heart! I must do the same! We know Jesus is our treasure. I don’t understand why a horrible lawn mower accident is a part of this story. I don’t get it. I just know that Jesus is writing a story, and ultimately it’s not even about us. It’s about Him.

I read Weakness is the Way by J.I. Packer early on, after June 21. It struck a chord in me. All the words of scripture, Jesus’ life on earth, His example…it all came together for me.

This whole story is one of weakness. WE ARE WEAK.

But, oh friends, in our weakness, HE IS STRONG.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 English Standard Version (ESV)

Team Hill recently moved away from the rental house that they lived in at the time of the accident and became homeowners. Their lovely family has now expanded to a party of 8. Three boys and three girls. Jen still homeschools all of them and as their story unfolds their family motto continues to be “Jesus is Enough”

This time last year I wrote a post about our compost pile. We really love to compost and we even moved our pile with us when we bought our house. One thing about composting is that certain seeds will reproduce if you don’t grind them up. I’ve never ground up anything in our compost and so when we had pumpkin vines sprouting out of the dirt we just transported them to a garden. That is how we ended up with pumpkins this year. 

They were a small variety. Not big enough to carve or do much with. We still enjoyed picking them and decorating the front porch with them though. The kids would line them up in order of size and there just happened to be one pumpkin for each member of the family. 

That’s what gave me the idea to write our names on them. All of the small pumpkins are from our garden and the big one is from the pumpkin farm that we went to last weekend.

Each pumpkin (and even my attempts at cursive) has its imperfections. I like that part though. It makes them “perfectly imperfect” for us. *Some of you This Is Us fans know where I pulled that quote from. 

I would love to have a bail of hay and a scarecrow or some other little finishing touches, but shopping and money are two things that don’t come about too often around here. So I just pulled out the old yellow rocking chair that we salvaged from the dumpster and added a few bricks that were already on the porch. The kids were eager to gather some pretty leaves for me. 

It all came together quite nicely I’d say. 

My favorite part of the display is that if all goes well these pumpkins will also decompose to make more soil and more pumpkins for next year. That’s one of the things that is so great about the fall season. It’s a time of death of course, but you don’t have to look hard to see beauty in it.