I am seriously pumped about being a part of the Trigger’s launch team. The book Triggers by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake is all about exchanging parents’ angry reactions for gentle biblical responses. Sounds like something I could use a refresher on. You all may remember my 31 day series “Teachable Parenting” where I covered many of the parenting philosophies from the books Love and Logic, Wild Things, and Loving Our Kids on Purpose. Well, this book goes hand and hand with those same principles.

What I love about the Triggers book though is that it’s written by MOMS  (the other books are all men and they can only relate to a certain point ya know?). Because the authors of Triggers are experienced mothers they know you don’t have time to sit down and read lengthy chapters siting all kinds of scientific studies laced with pediatric psychologic jargon. Instead it is just to the point on a topic by topic basis. They cover the most common areas that can trigger anger in your home. This is especially great when you are looking for an answer to a specific incident in you life. For example when running late has been your latest trigger, you can check out the table of contents and head right over to that part of the book to glean some wisdom. This is a real life example by the way. The running late and video games chapters in particular were so helpful to me at the very moment that I needed them most.

I also love that they quote scripture and keep Christ and his teachings at the center of it all. If you have a problem with your child’s back talk you might feel like it’s something people in the Bible never dealt with, and certainly not Jesus, but that’s not true. Each chapter will point out how God has given us direction for these parenting challenges from trivial debates to monumental blow ups. Then each chapter closes with a prayer and the authors are both women of prayer. They are praying over this whole project and the parents that are picking up this book.

I could give you quote after quote that jumped out to me. For example here is one from Wendy that I can totally relate to

Though I’ve often felt like a failure, I’m starting to see my quiver of strong-willed arrows as a blessing. Because when all is said and done, and the beauty of His plan for their lives bears fruit, I won’t be able to take any credit myself. I think I would have been proud for the way they turned out if it had been easier. But as it is… they belong to Him. From conception to completion, all His. And there’s nothing left for me to do, but trust Him!

The exciting news is I have a copy from Wendy and Amber that I get to give away to one of you! Sign up for your chance to win and I’ll send the book to your doorstep. The contest will last for the rest of this week and on through the weekend. I’ll touch base with you if your name is picked.

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Triggers was just released yesterday and is already a number one best seller of Amazon’s Christian Family books. Go grab your copy today.

I used to watch the show New Girl. Emphasis on “used to” in case you think it’s a recommendation. If you like it that’s cool, but if you are wondering if it’s clean comedy. No. It’s not.

Anyway, back to my point. The main character is Jess (played by the adorable Zooey Deschanel) and her best friend is Cece (played by Hannah Simone ) Cece and Jess have been friends since childhood. Sometimes the show will have flash backs of when they were younger. The Jess character is supposed to be the awkward clumsy teacher in glasses, while Cece is a professional model. There was one episode where Jess and CeCe find their relationship challenged as Jess doesn’t fit in with any of CeCe’s model friends and hurts CeCe’s feelings by demeaning her career. Of course they make up and all is well at the end, but the part that caught my attention is when one of them says “If we met today do you think we would even be friends?” and the other replies “I don’t know, but we’re friends now”

I love that sappy part. It totally reminds me of me and my BFF Mels. This is not the best picture, but it’s the most recent.

We met at church 14 years ago when we were both college students. I was married and she lived in a dorm, so it’s not like we were exactly alike, but we had plenty enough in common. We went to the same church, hung out with the same friends, had very similar upbringings, and we both shared an infinite love for Ben & Jerry’s.

However, time marches on and now I have 4 kids live in Ohio and I’m pretty much a soccer mom without the soccer. She lives 6 hours away in Michigan. She has an online shop where she sells vintage clothes. She knows all kinds of snobby coffee stuff. She is just coolness, or whatever the current hipster word would be. She will argue with me about this, I can promise you that. She really is tons of artsy free wheeling fun though, whereas I am super tied down and mostly cranky.

Yet, we still managed to stay friends even with the physical distance and all the changes. We make sure not too much time goes by without Facetiming, texting, or talking on the phone after my kids go to bed. And hopefully at least once a year we manage to visit each other (although now she needs to get her butt down here and meet my new baby!)

When I think of Jess and Cece I wonder, if Mels and I met today would we be friends? Probably not. I am sure we could get along, but none of that matters. Now that we are friends we are stuck with each other. We have history together. That’s that.

All these hypotheticals got me thinking If I met my husband today would we be friends (Or lovers? Insert giggle. Sorry I couldn’t refuse). Except that question doesn’t really work for us, because if we had never met who in the world would we be? I mean I still have my personality, but we are one and he is a MAJOR part of who I am today. We have shaped each other at such an intricate level that there is no unshaping. If we had never met we would not live where we do now, we wouldn’t have our kids, we probably wouldn’t even be into the some of the stuff we like because of our influence on one another and the influence of the people we have come across as a couple. It’s like another dimension that I don’t even want to think about. It’s a stretch, but let’s say J and I met today instead of 20 years ago. I would say yes, we would still fall in love and get married, but I am grateful I didn’t have to wait that long!

Do you have any friends that you have known for so long you can’t imagine life without them? If you met today would you be friends?

I just finished the book For the Love- Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards. Above Jen Hatmaker’s name on the front cover you will see the words “Best selling author  of 7”. 
A couple of years ago  I did a little review of 7 and it wasn’t my cup of tea. In fact I believe I said “I personally found myself very much like an outsider amongst her cool group of friends…” But I heard great things about For the Love and I wanted to give a try.

Guess what? I loved it.

This time I felt like an insider. I know that sounds funny, but I really felt like I was just hanging out and chatting it up with a friend. I laughed out loud, I cried, I pondered. Seriously. I’ll admit if this was a book by a newbie writer we would all be really confused and probably give it two thumbs down because she is all over the place. This is not a book were each chapter builds on the next. She can be giving a word about the church and a call to action in one part and then having a humorous look at turning 40 the next. Oh and there are random recipes in there too. So it really is kind of disjointed and hard to figure out what she is going for, but I didn’t mind one bit because it just worked. It was great.

My favorite chapter was the one where she addresses fashion concerns. I loved her description of hipster kids fashion in Austin Texas. I know about this epidemic because I love Austin Texas and have visited many times. I also know about the “miniature Anthropology ads with a  side of inner torment” because I have an instagram account. I have seen my fair share of babies with skinny jeans and bowties hanging out in teepees. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I had to give a hearty amen out loud when I read this part from Jen.

“Im Just saying there is a place for Garanimals, folks. Sometimes kids need to wear jean shorts and T-shirts because, well, they are children, not performance art installations.” 

Yes.

My favorite quote from the book, was one she shared of Annie Dillard and it says “How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives”.

Truly inspiring, although it got me wondering if I will look back and feel like I spent my whole life breastfeeding. Just kidding.

Okay, now for one tiny critique and it’s not a critique really, it’s just a thought. The chapter called “Poverty Tourism” gave some harsh insight into the downfalls of short term mission trips. I won’t go into all the details, but it implied that a lot christians are doing more harm than good when they “helicopter in to love on the Have-Nots”.

She pretty much rips the church and youth to shreds in this bit and I felt conflicted. I tried not to be offended, but mostly I was confused. Here is what I gathered from it in the end. Jen says she has spent “years of conversations with missionaries, local leaders, poor community members, and nonprofit directors.” and this has been her conclusion. I have to take her word for it and assume this really is a problem that is happening. Still, after thinking about it for a while I felt proud. Because even with being as objective as I could possibly be I realize that the churches that I have been a part of have been doing right. I didn’t even realize this was an issue because I know literally hundreds of people that love missions in a genuine way. I know dozens of missionaries on a personal level. We have community with them and the relationships and mission trips are so much deeper than just a what can I gain from this experience attitude. So this chapter may be a slap on the wrist for some, but it was a wake up call for me to really encourage my friends that are serving RIGHT NOW in Kenya truly loving on the kids, not just for a Facebook photo op, but because the love of Christ has inspired them to be a light and serve the fatherless and the widows. I could go on and on about our friends in different nations all over the world serving as full time missionaries! I have seen so much life transforming good come from the seeds of short term missions. I am really grateful to have had a few opportunities to go on these trips and I pray that when the time is right there will be more.

Anyway, I still feel like this book was very empowering and inspiring.  I obviously enjoyed it and recommend it.   For the Love.

It’s that time of year again. I don’t do anything major for Valentine’s day. I usually manage to grab 90% off Valentine’s for 30 cents after February 14th and save them for the following year. That’s what we are doing again this year. However, I do have an appreciation for those that like to come up with cute things for class parties and such. Here are some of the adorable little expressions of “LOVE” that Z came home with last year.

First off, all of his valentines were in this fun bear box that he decorated. I love how it says “Valantimes Day” and he also wrote “Box of Love” on it. Too cute.

He also wrote little messages to me on a paper in a felt fortune cookie. I don’t know what room mom did all the work behind these, but they were in a Chinese food take out box and they turned out adorable.

Then there was this alphabet that Z wrote with the I, O, and U all in red, but the O is a heart. This little treasure is so special to me.

This next Valentine is from Z’s teacher. To think that she took time to cut out 21 hearts and write out an acrostic with affirming words for each student. Wow. It’s simple and inexpensive, but really speaks volumes. Such a sweet gift (and excuse the chocolate stain in the corner, that was from a different valentine).

I thought this was clever. I have no idea where you would find these ninja chopsticks in bulk, but the “Hiyah Valentine” is so cool. This Valentine was from one of guys in Z’s class.

All of these crafty sentiments are sweet, but this next Valentine really takes the cake in my opinion. Props to her mom for letting her do her own unique creative thing. I removed the name by the way.

It’s simply a piece of paper glued to construction paper and written on with the classic 1st grade handwriting. She even included Z’s desk number. “Nuber3”. Isn’t that great?

The best part of all though was when I noticed that she had cleverly repurposed some old paper that was maybe attached to a prescription drug or something. It says “keep out of reach of children” and list side effects. I cracked up when I saw that. I am not making fun of it at all, it’s totally something I would have done when I was a kid. I often would find whatever I could from around the house and just CREATE. I tell ya, this girl is going to do great things. I love it!

So those were my fave 1st grade Valentine’s from last year. Z’s 2nd grade class party is tomorrow. I can’t wait to see what he comes home with this time.