I love New Year’s Resolutions. I absolutely love planning and goals. I am such a nerd in that way and I’ve never denied it. Last year all of my 2015 goals went out the window when I became pregnant.

Mary Carver wrote something on Incourage recently that really hit home with me. She said

“Yeah, it’s true. I totally get a crush on New Year’s resolutions, the bad boy of all goal-setting strategies, the one I swear off every year because he’ll just end up hurting me. That one. Yes. I fall for his charm (and the possibilities! the potential!) every time.”

That’s me. In fact I have so many possible goals they even have subcategories.  I could make a list of lists for 2016. But I won’t, because I know this year is going to be about the essentials.

So besides the obvious like God and family there are two things that I want to focus on this year and that is

1. Myself
2. My friends

As far as what this looks like I would like to have 10 tangible memorable documented things this year that I do to invest in myself and 10 special outings with friends. If there is more than that great, but it’s easier said than done. Trust me. Every year I resolve to do one date a month with my husband. I say this every. single. year. and it’s never happened. Yet here we are married 15 years and going strong so I guess I can’t worry about it too much. Anyway, all that to say I think 10 is realistic.

We are facing a lot of unknowns in 2016 given the recent diagnosis of our baby girl. I always say Being a mom is a full time job, being a mom with a special needs child is another full time job on top of that. It takes up a lot of time, energy, and resources. I know that if I am going to take care of four kids and juggle all the upcoming appointments I am going to have to take care of myself. I also know that I can’t do it alone and lately God has been revealing to me several times a day that I am not alone. Not only because He is with me, but because He has blessed me with so many friends that care about me.  

So of course I have goals and lists that are rattling around in my head. I hope this is a productive year for us on multiple levels, but I am not going to write all of these things down like I normally would at the beginning of the year.

Even though this year is starting out differently than I had imagined we are in a good place. That was my word for 2015 “Good”. My word for 2016 is “Next” and not to be cheesy, but I will share about that next time.

Happy New Year Everybody! 

It’s been a while since I checked in. We’ve had a lot going on. I am sure everyone has, with the holidays and Star Wars and all (the Star Wars thing was a joke, but all of my friends are obsessed so I thought I’d throw it in there).

Every year we do a special Christmas card and I had a grand plan for this year, but since having baby Elle I have not had a chance to pull it together, even with the best of intentions. I finally threw in the towel and decided I would excute this year’s idea another year.

Instead I chose a festive birth announcement which includes the family Christmas photo.

So that’s our card this year. It will be late because I haven’t sent them yet, but they’ll make it before New Year’s so I consider that to be the “Holiday season”

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope your weekend is truly wonderful!

It took a lot of effort, but we finally managed to get our house decorated for Christmas. And by “a lot of effort” I don’t just mean pulling out the lights and ornaments and getting on the ladder to deck the halls. This Christmas decor has been years in the making.

The last time we put up our Christmas decorations was in 2010. It’s not that we didn’t feel like being festive and it’s not like the kids were deprived of Holiday cheer, but as most of you know we have been in a long season of transition. In 2011 we sold our house the week of Christmas so we certainly didn’t decorate that year. The next year we lived with my parents and the following two years we lived in the apartment. So the last time we got out our own Christmas decorations, which we cherish, was 5 years ago.
Now that we have a house that we are renting we could put up our old plastic tree. We got to get out my penguin collection too and explain to the kids why we like penguins (which is because penguins have one mate and they are all about family). When J proposed he asked me to be his penguin.

We even have light up penguins that go in the yard.

There are some that are still in storage, and one of them has a broken beak. Still, we managed to have a sweet little display in our front yard and we clap every time we turn down our street at night and see it lit up.

I love Christmas time and the lights are one of my favorite parts. I know there is debate about the where our traditions come from and what the meaning is behind the Christmas tree. We are always observing the birth of Christ and thanking God for sending his son and giving us the ultimate gift of salvation.We are forever grateful for the Lord’s provision for us year after year. Putting up this little tree this year is like a symbol of hope and restoration in our living room. It reminds us of how far we’ve come and how Christ has been the light on what seemed like a dark path.

What a joy it is to celebrate this season together! 

As one of my friends said, in response to me rambling about all the drama that has unfolded since Elle was born, it has been The Perfect Storm.

I hate to sound whiny, but I do want to document all that has happened over the past 3 weeks. I want the good stuff to be what I focus on, but there is also struggle and challenges. So in order to be authentic I really want to be open about all of it. So here is the most condense version I could come up with for some of the rougher parts of my postpartum recovery.

The days following the delivery my red blood cell count, which was already really low, continued to drop and my blood pressure started to get lower as well. Eventually they ordered two units of blood to be put in me because my hemoglobin was at a 6 (when 12-14 is normal). Although it’s not what I wanted, it was all fine. I am currently at a 10.7. So that’s good news.

The next thing was that Elle failed her newborn hearing screening two days in a row. Everyone, including the professionals feel like it was a testing error. She passed on the right side and the type of hearing loss that we have is bilateral and there are many other reasons we feel like she has normal hearing. That’s not to say that it wasn’t upsetting or that we don’t take the test seriously. We will be doing a more thorough test in about 3 weeks. More on that later.

The day we were released from the hospital our land lord decided that would be the perfect time to have siding put on our rental home. We got the text message as we were being discharged. The entire time I have been home trying to rest with my newborn the outside of our home has been a construction zone. Imagine what it would sound like if a band of vikings were trying to break into your house. That’s what it’s like.

The next day was a Saturday and we were surprised to find a bunch of police cars right outside our window that morning. J went to see what was going on and we found out that our new college age neighbor had died in the night. His land lord came over a few minutes later and said not to let the kids out because the young man had died from a drug overdose.

A few days later my husband’s uncle passed away. It came as a shock to all of us. He had a really bad stroke and although we can’t make it to the funeral which is far from our home, J’s parents will be there and therefore they have had to postpone their visit. Although I am sad that they can’t come I am more sad that my father in law lost his only brother.

The first week at home was mostly spent in bed resting and I felt like my condition had improved a lot. Unfortunately it then took a sudden turn for the worse. After two weeks I felt like my blood loss increased and I had some minor abdominal pain and cramping. So I called my Doctor, but the only appointment time they had available was impossible for me to get to. I wasn’t too worried about any of this because my symptoms pretty weren’t terrible, but then I got a fever and chills and we decided it was safest to go to the Emergency Room.

That was a long night with lots of tests. They ended up sending me home at 2:00 am without any answers. I cried because I knew something was wrong, but they were telling me everything was normal.

A couple of days later (last Wednesday) I got in to to see my OB and was diagnosed with a bladder/kidney infection. I am now on amoxicillin and feeling so much better.

Then last Thursday I was able to make it to the family Thanksgiving and it was a wonderful day.

At that time I had only been on the meds for less than a day though so I wasn’t quite ready for an extended (no school) weekend with the kids by myself so my parents took all three of the older ones with them so that I could rest up.

Everything was going great until I got a call that SJ had thrown up. Then the next morning I learned that Ezie had too. My parents had to go back to work this week after taking so much time off to help so we picked up the kids. We are praying protection for myself and little Elle. It seems to be a mild stomach bug that has already passed. I still kept SJ home today just to be on the safe side.

That’s about it. I left a lot out, but I guess the point is these first 3 weeks postpartum have been rough. I am still optimistic that things are going to take a turn for the best and we can start thinking about Christmas! That will be nice.

It’s been about a year since I connected with Amanda from Airman to Mom.

I was so excited  last spring when I learned that we were pregnant at the same time and due shortly after me. We both have a lot of interest in natural parenting styles including cloth diapers and giving birth with a midwife. So when she asked me to be a part of a series on natural birth I didn’t even have to think about it. Here is the opening to my feature titled “Why I Would Choose Pain for Childbirth”

It happened again . I was at the Doctor’s office for a prenatal visit and a conversation started between myself and another pregnant woman nearby. The topic came up about where I was giving birth and she quickly exclaimed how she could never give birth without the drugs and thinks it’s a bit crazy. Her final statement was “The end result is the same so why suffer?”

I think this is a pretty common philosophy among women and my canned response is always “Well, it’s definitely something you have to be passionate about”…

I know there are some disadvantages to being so reliant on smart phones, computers, and the internet, but there are plenty of benefits too. When I was in the hospital after giving birth the whole experience was a blur (as you can imagine). So I thought it would be fun to see how much of a labor timeline I could piece together a according to my personal digital paper trail.

Just call me detective Messy Mom!

Here is November 9th, 2015 (the day I went into labor… but didn’t know it until the very end). This is not everything I did, just the stuff I retrieved from my phone and computer.

The first thing on my call log that day is to Once Upon a Child consignment store at 9:50 am. I called them before I dropped a bunch of stuff. Of course I had no idea I was going to have a baby that night.  Then I had to worry about about when we would be able to pick it up and get my money (don’t worry it’s been taken care of).

Then I can see that I wrote a blog post where I revealed her name. This is funny to me. The first two sentences of that blog entry are

“Let me just start by saying the baby is not here, but we have a name. Yes, I did say I was going to wait until she was born to reveal the name, but apparently I am not good at waiting. ” Little did I know I would have only had to wait a few more hours. HA!

This is the last line of that blog post

“We should be meeting her soon.” I should have said VERY SOON! 

Also, ironically I did a GOOGLE SEARCH about the lack of pre labor  activity. I had been having braxton hicks, but that weekend there was almost nothing. I went through my search history and got a screen shot. That’s how little of a warning I had that day that I would be going into labor. This is proof!

Okay, next up I took some photos 6:03 pm like this one of Z’s homework assignment that which was to count the fingers and toes in your family. The cute part is he put two answers, one including the baby (in my belly) and one without. By the time he turned in the assignment we would officially have 120 fingers and toes.

It should say “If baby counted” not conuted

8:30 pm was the last text before going to bed it was to my sister in law and I was making plans for Saturday. I was going to Women’s Brunch at my church  and then all the ladies in my family were going to make decorative Bible verses to have all around the room in the birthing center. So that ended up not happening, but it was a nice idea.

Then I went to sleep and woke up with one contraction which I documented in my notes app.

10:41 is when it happened. The rest were recorded on J’s phone.

At 10:49 pm I texted my best friend saying that I couldn’t talk as we had planned because I didn’t feel well. At this point even though yes I did have one contraction I didn’t know that I was in labor. Not at all or I would have definitely told her. It’s funny to look back on now though.

So then we called my parents at 10:58 because I knew at that point something was happening even if it was a false alarm I couldn’t risk waiting any longer.

Then there is this text message to my neighbor at 11:43 because I was panicking about not having to bring the kids with us. It was my last effort to hopefully have her come over and wait for my parents to get there, but she didn’t get the message until the next day so we just left and brought the kids with us.

The never mind was sent 12:06 am so I was texting about 15 minutes before I had my hands on my baby and was delivering her! CRAZY!!!

Here is a screen shot of the contraction timer app

These are not completely accurate because we were calling the hospital and coordinating with my parents and such, but as you can see by my 9th contraction they were coming less than a minute apart (the left side is how long they lasted). It was intense!

The next significant call was at 12:27 when we called the hospital and told them we had had the baby in the car.

Anyway I just got kick out of piecing all of these things together. It confirms that I did not ignore any signs of labor. I just didn’t have them!

As I’ve said before I don’t know when or if the reality of this will really sink in!

I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of Influence Central for Bella Gravida. I received a complimentary subscription and a promotional item to thank me for my participation.

The holidays are here and finding the right maternity clothes for this season can be tricky. For me it’s not only about the Christmas parties, and family gatherings, but our Anniversary is in November too. Most of you have already heard me rave about Bella Gravida which is Italian for “Beautifully Pregnant”. It’s a maternity clothes rental service. You pay a flat rate per month and the clothes are sent to your address. There are no return deadlines, unlimited exchanges, and my favorite NO NEED TO DO LAUNDRY because dry cleaning is included.

So if you’ve been been dreading shopping for a Holiday maternity dress that you are only going to wear once I have a solution. Bella Gravida can get a shipment out to you within 48 hours after filling your virtual closet.

When I wore this black lace Everly Gray dress for my 15 year anniversary last week husband’s jaw dropped.

It’s amazing how the right outfit can change the way you feel entirely and there are thousands of designer maternity and nursing outfits to provide you with a rotating closet of style.

Now is the perfect time to do it because for a limited time the first month is FREE!

Maybe you are not pregnant, but know someone who is. In the coming weeks Bella Gravida will be launching their ‘Give The Gift of Style” feature which will allow you to give a subsciription to an expectant friend or family member! Any mother-to-be is sure to love this gift. Plus it truly is the gift that keeps on giving because eveytime they find another beautiful dress or outfit at their doorstep with a handwritten note from a stylist it’s like Christmas all over again.

At least that’s how I’ve felt receiving all of these gorgeous clothes in the mail.

What are you waiting for? Go check out BellaGravida.com now. You can also find them on Facebook and Twitter.

Let me just start by saying the baby is not here, but we have a name. Yes, I did say I was going to wait until she was born to reveal the name, but apparently I am not good at waiting. First of all, I do use blog nicknames. It’s for privacy, but at the same time I am really laid back about it. I have said things or posted things with all of our names at some point. So if you were ever curious here is the real name run down.

J= Jeremy I have talked about this before when I have written about “the other Jeremy and Natalie”

Z= Zion He is our first born and we had his name picked out long before we were ever pregnant. It definitely has biblical significance, but it’s also inspired by a Lauren Hill song.

SJ= Sedona (or Sedona Jean) she was named after Sedona Arizona.

Ezie= Ezra and he is named after his great grandfather

Lastly…..drumroll…….

Elle= Ellis

I announced it on my personal Facebook page the day of our anniversary. The significance there is because J and I met, married, and started our family in Ellis county and we really liked the name. It reminds us of Alice or Ella which are both girl names, but Ellis itself is more predominantly a boy name. Because of this we were reluctant to choose it for our girl (even though there are other girl’s named Ellis), but we kept on coming back to it over and over. Her name will be Ellis Evelyn. It’s fitting that she has a name so intricately connected to our marriage since she will be born the same month we celebrate 15 years.

The middle name is after her grandmother. All of our children have family middle names. Z’s is my dad’s, SJ is mine (and it’s also my aunt’s name from my mom’s side) and Ezie shares his grandfather’s middle name.

Obviously we put a lot of thought behind the meaning and history behind our children’s names and in Ellis’s case her name means God is Jehovah.

I threw this post together at the last minute, because I wanted to start doing daily updates about the last days of pregnancy and I really long to call her by name. I do already at home and the kids have for a while now, but now I can finally say it on the blog even if it is the “Elle” nickname.

So Ellis Evelyn it is!

We should be meeting her soon.

Just a heads up, things are starting to get a little more quiet here on Messy Mom as my due date approaches. My focus is on other things right now as you can imagine. Today we are 18 days away from the big November 24th due date. I am really tired, but in a way I am also revved up because I have been nesting like crazy. J and I plan to spend the whole weekend preparing the house for the arrival of our little one and for our parents who will be coming to help in a week.

I have a tradition where I try to guess the stats before the baby comes. Everyone is welcome to join in. There are no prizes other than bragging rights. I think my dad won last time with Ezie. He came a little sooner and was a wee bit smaller than the rest of us thought. Speaking of which, Ezie was born just shy of 39 weeks. I am 38 weeks on Tuesday so it would be like going into labor next week. Ahhhh! I am still blown away that I could be that close. On the other hand, while none of us are expecting me to go past my due date because all three of my children have been early, wouldn’t it be interesting if I went past my due date this time? Or what if she came on Thanksgiving!? So many unknowns. I’m getting really exciting!

Now then, given that history here are some of my predictions for baby #4.

Birth date/time: November 17th 11:04 pm

Weight: 8 lbs 4 ounces

Height: 21 inches

I’ll hopefully have more clues on Tuesday after my next appointment. I guess they’ll check me since I’m full term now. I am lucky enough that I dilate some beforehand so it’s like I get some of my laboring out of the way by just walking around doing my usual thing. With the first two it was just a matter of a centimeter or so, but with Ezie I found out days before that I was 70% effaced, at a zero station, and about 4 cm dilated! So we knew after that appointment that I was more than likely going to go into full blown labor that weekend and I did.

Anyway, all this rambling and still only God knows when that special birth day will be. I’m just so curious. I am probably going to give my login info to a family member which is what I’ve done in the past so that I can update all my social media accounts and post a pic when she comes so you’ll be informed.

Let the games begin!