Natalie, Author at Messymom

About Natalie

I am a Jesus Lover, a wife, and a mother. And I'm making the best of what looks like a mess!

Personality Tests

I have been reading H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick while we are out of town for spring break and it has been really enlightening.

In the chapter “A Habit of Self- Discovery” Lomenick suggests several different personality tests and recommends reviewing the results side by side looking for echoes.

The first test I did was similar to a Strength Finders test and found that my main talent (according to this test) is “Believing”.

The results showed that

Individuals with the Believing talent can have a solid set of core values by which they choose to live. This talent can enhance ethical standards and integrity, and when presented with alternative paths will tend to choose the ‘right one’.

As I said at the beginning of the year my word for 2016 is “Next” as in just do the next right thing. So that’s was a cool confirmation.

The next test I took was the Myer’s Briggs. I have taken this before, but I always forget what the 4 letters are. It looks like I am an ENFP (extraverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving). Everything I have read about this personality seems to fit my own.

The last one I did was DISC which was also neat. These are my results in a nutshell.

Out of all of these results I realized that I am really high on the emotional strengths and lower on the structured ones. For example some of my highest strengths are being a positive, motivating, harmonious unifier. The things I am the most lacking in are being commanding, responsible, strategic, deliberate, and disciplined.

As I have mentioned before J and I are opposite. When we chose our core values for our family mine was compassion and his was self control. We are apart on love language too. Mine has always been words of affirmation by a landslide and his is acts of service. Acts of service are almost pointless to me. I appreciate them, but they don’t make me feel more loved. I guess we balance each other out.

According to H3 Leadership personality tests are a way to “step outside of yourself and more clearly survey how you’re built.” It’s an emotionless snapshot of you identify, gifts, and passions.

Have you taken any of these tests? What areas do you thrive in the most?

By Natalie|2016-03-30T21:18:59+00:00March 30, 2016|My Life, Uncategorized|2 Comments

Create Your Own Speech Therapy Book

When SJ was first diagnosed with hearing loss I was encouraged to create an experience book. Books are a great resource for speech delays anyway, but a book that has pictures and experiences that your child can directly identify with is even better.

I try to make a new one every year so that we can expand on what she has learned. Here is a look at how easy it is to create and implement.

First Words

The first book was the most basic both in it’s design and the words that were in it. For this one all you need is

4×6 photo album
Pictures of your child or objects that are familiar
Index cards to spell out the words you are encouraging the child to say

I chose words like hurt along with a picture of SJ with a boo boo

or sleep with a pic of her sleeping.

Trash is a word you may not find in your typical “first words” book, but trash (or some people say garbage) is a word we use everyday. That’s the beauty of customizing your own language book. You get to choose what to put in it.

When we first made this book we weren’t even ready to start with saying words we were mostly working on the ling sounds like “Shhhhhh” for sleeping or “mmmm” for eating. Eventually she learned all the words and it was time to make a new, more advanced book!

First Sentences

At this point she was learning the names of everyone in the family

Along with the places we visited frequently (like the grocery store, museum, or school).

When we started the book we kept it very simple and I had her repeat the words “Breakfast” “Lunch” “Dinner”. Eventually she started saying sentences and so we could expand to say “I see my teacher”. You can show a picture of a friend or a teacher, but it’s more meaningful to the child when they see their friend or their teacher.

Early Reading and Abstract concepts

She got this book for her birthday and she absolutely LOVES it. For this book I wanted to put in some sentences that she could read on her own because she is learning to read now. So for example “I love my family” is not expanding her speech because that is a sentence she has been able to say for a while now, but it’s simple enough to read. SJ loves to point to and sound out all the words.

Then I included parts that are a little more difficult to read, but they are words and ideas that I hope she will start to have a better understanding of. For example, this page says “Sometimes I am sad, but I still obey mommy and daddy because that is a good choice. If I make a bad choice I say I am sorry. Mommy and daddy love me when I am happy or sad. They will always love me.”

This can certainly apply to any child, not just special needs. My oldest son has recently requested that I make a book for him and I plan to do that next.

Now let’s look at the progression

If the first book says “School”

The next book says “I go to School at Ohio Valley Voices”

Then the next book says “I go to School at Ohio Valley Voices in Loveland Ohio”

It’s been so rewarding to watch SJ learn to communicate. I am really grateful that the idea for this was introduced to me and I hope it can be helpful to others.

Both of the hardback photo books shown here are from Shutterfly and I cannot recommend them enough. Right now there is a promotion going on for a free 8×8 photo book just like the one I’ve shown on here. The coupon code is ” SPRINGONIT “It expires tomorrow (March 22, 2016) so I know that’s not much time, but I will tell you that the Shutterfly website makes it so easy to throw these books together, so it doesn’t take much effort and they turn out beautifully. If you miss this offer you can catch the next one. Just Like Shutterfly on Facebook or sign up for their email to be in the know on the latest deals.

Your child will love seeing their pictures in print and you will love hearing them say all the new words. It’s a simple, but wonderful tool all the way around.

By Natalie|2023-06-12T06:33:06+00:00March 21, 2016|Babies & Toddlers, Creativity, Hearing Loss, Schooling, Special Needs, Speech Therapy|1 Comment

A Brief Update

Happy St. Patrick’s day. I never remember this holiday and this is the first year I dressed my kids in green. That’s actually not true at all. They dressed themselves. Including SJ who apparently does not own one single piece of green clothing except for this hand me down flower girl dress.

I guess that means fancy dress it is! The kids were so excited about this day that at the last minute I made a shamrock for SJ’s lunch using a green apple and kiwi.

SJ loves green apples and kiwi are her favorite, so this is not just about aesthetics. It will be eaten!

Yesterday was a busy day. I had a doctors appointment with my GP and then we met with the geneticist at the hospital after that. All of this hearing loss stuff has always been about my daughters, but now that I am in the mix thank to the genetic testing it is allowing me to pursue getting some real help with my hearing problem. I will have my first ENT visit on Monday and maybe I’ll get a hearing aid after that. According to my test results I only have a 65% word recognition in my left ear and 80% in my right. So if I ever laugh at something that was not supposed to be a joke or say you’re welcome when you didn’t say thank you, now you understand why. It’s a serious problem that I have just learned to live with, but I am looking forward to finally getting to the bottom of it!

So there has been a lot going on plus we’re about to travel to Texas for spring break. I say all of this to warn you that I might not be blogging as much for a while. I will still be here and I will still be writing, but actually some of my latest writing time hasn’t been on the blog because I am currently working on two books. I rattle that off like it’s nothing, but I’ve never written a book before. So it is definitely something, but who knows what will come of it.

Anyway I just wanted to touch base in case it looks like I have fallen off the grid for a while, but it may not even be that big of a deal. Time will tell.

Have a great weekend.

By Natalie|2016-03-17T14:47:17+00:00March 17, 2016|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Identity and the Internet

Sometimes I wonder if I would be as creative or motivated if it weren’t for social media. Kind of like if-a-tree-falls-in-the-woods-and-no-one-hears-it-does-it-make-a-sound kind of thing. Do I worry too much about sharing and not live in the moment enough?

Those of you my age and older are some of the lucky few in the history and future of the world that have had the opportunity to live life before the internet, while also getting to watch society progress with the advancements of the world wide web. It’s pretty awesome when you think about it.

Feeling like I now have some responsibility to share my knowledge with the future generations I wrote this letter to my children (and their generation). I’m sure by the time they read this a lot of the latest websites and apps will be obsolete, but the core message remains the same. Here it is.

Dear Post-Millennial Children,

I was born way back in 1982. It was a bad year for hair and makeup (in my opinion) but it was a good year to be born and I’ll tell you why. I am one of the last ones to remember a childhood without Wi-Fi or high school without social media. No, this is not another lecture about how when I was your age I was content just looking out the window on car rides. This is a different message. This is a lesson about your identity.

I struggle with this even now. Sometimes I wonder if I really enjoy writing or if I just want people to read my blog. But then I have the luxury of knowing that before I was blogging I was writing. I’ve always had a passion for writing, even before it ever hit cyberspace.

Other times I wonder if I would be inspired to throw fun theme parties if not for Pinterest. Then I remember that I’ve always loved to throw parties. From the birthday party I planned for my dog as a child, to the fun bachelorette parties I planned for friends. All of that was before the age of Pinterest. Same goes with my photography, my friendships, my “outfit of the day” and everything else. When my identity feels lost on the Internet I can at least reach back and remember that I have been the same person I am today with or without the online exposure. I won’t let the internet take credit for my interests nor will I allow it to steal my joy.

Your experience will be different than mine, but I want you to know that the screen does not define you.

Just be yourself no matter what. I don’t care how many likes you get on Instagram or how many shares on Tumblr (Is that a thing? Did I spell it right?) I don’t care if your embarrassing YouTube video goes viral or your cool video tanks. Your identity is not found on the Internet. Social media can trample your ego just as fast as it inflates it; you have to be grounded in the truth on and off-line.

The truth is that you have been blessed with talent. You have your own unique style. Above all, you are valued.

Believe in yourself and be yourself because “the Internet” doesn’t know you like real life people do.

When Social media becomes a sad depressing place feel free to step away from it all and unplug for a bit. There was life before the iPhone believe it or not.

I know you may think that I’m out of touch with what’s trending, and that’s probably true, but I also know what it’s like to feel lost in the vastness of all the messages that you absorb online. Those trends are going to come and go, but always remember you are a fearfully and wonderfully made individual and your voice matters.

Trust me. I should know, because I’ve been around longer than the Internet.

By Natalie|2018-01-24T10:43:34+00:00March 14, 2016|Parenting Tips|8 Comments

Elle at 4 months

Elle has had a major growth spurt over the past month. It’s like someone pulled the cord on a self inflating raft and she just instantly filled out. She is currently sitting at 14 pounds of super cute chunkiness.

Here she is doing some tummy time in her Dr. Seuss diaper. I held back on cloth diapers the first couple months because I was just trying to get back on my feet.

Now that I am back into my routine I’m starting to feel so much better, physically and emotionally.

There aren’t too many developmental milestones to report other than that Elle is getting stronger and more curious.

She appears to be my first thumb sucker of the bunch (just like her momma was) and she is also starting to explore by wanting to put things in her mouth.

We just love having her around!

By Natalie|2016-03-11T16:19:01+00:00March 11, 2016|Babies, My Life|2 Comments

Mornings as a Deaf Child With Cochlear Implants

The other day someone asked me about SJ’s cochlear implants. The person I was talking with had never heard of them before. I hadn’t either before I had a deaf child. They are such a huge part of my life now that I forget that it’s not “normal” and there are still a lot of things people don’t understand about the procedure and the device.

So I had the idea to share a day in the life of a child with a cochlear implant (CI), but it would probably take a day to write so I am going to break it up a bit. We’ll start with the beginning of the day.

Keep in mind these routines aren’t the same for every child with hearing loss and things will change as each child advances in their journey, but for now this is what it’s like for SJ.

CI recipients wear their processors about the same amount that the visually impaired would wear glasses. The way it was described to me was that “The Three S’s” remind you when to take them off “Shower, Swim, Sleep” So SJ wakes up in silence. She had severe/profound hearing loss already, but when someone has the cochlear implant surgery it damages whatever preexisting hearing they had. So when the processors are off she hears nothing at all.

For now I wake her up, but many years from now when she is on her own there are special deaf alarm clocks that vibrate and there is a variety of options to choose from.

Some children may like to put their CIs on the moment they wake up. SJ doesn’t. She likes to ease into her day and have things quiet at first. I mentioned this to my family and my sister in law (who is hearing) said she is the same way. Makes sense to me. I’m not much of a morning person either.

Anyway, SJ can talk without wearing her processors. She sounds the same either way except she is usually oblivious to her volume. Kind of like when someone is wearing headphones and they don’t realize that they are shouting. So I have to remind her to speak softly when this happens. She also reads lips and signs, so we manage pretty well in the mornings before she puts her processors on. It isn’t long though before she has to be dressed and ready for school. That is when she puts her processors on.

The processor is the part that allows her to hear (shown in the photo above in white, the round part is a magnet) and the implant is inside her head (shown on the left). She calls the processors her “implants” because that word is easier to say. I wrote more extensively about the equipment in the post “All About The Cochlear Implant“.

Technically SJ can put her processors on all by herself, but it’s not easy. So for now I usually do it for her. When she is bigger they will simply hook on her ears and stay put, but right now her ears are just too small. They don’t make child size cochlear implants so a 1 year old wears the exact same processors as an adult. There are multiple options for children to keep the processors on though. SJ uses special headbands that my sister in law makes for her.

At Christmas she gave her some new sparkly ones and SJ has been thrilled to have more options to choose from.

You can get more elaborate with the CI headbands, but SJ’s are as simple as they look. It’s just a headband with an elastic loop.

Sometimes she doesn’t wear headbands and on those occasions we keep the CIs in place with toupee tape.

That pretty much covers the whole morning routine. After that she is hearing and ready to head out the door and go to her deaf school!

By Natalie|2023-06-12T06:22:41+00:00March 9, 2016|Cochlear Implants, Uncategorized|5 Comments

The Big Six

SJ turned 6 years old on Friday. If you have spent any time around MessyMom.com then you probably know I like to party. SJ has had a Cupcake Party, Green Eggs and Ham Party, Donut Party, and Tea Party. However as I said in my blog post “How to avoid overboard kid parties” I don’t do theme parties every year and this is an off year. That doesn’t mean that we don’t have fun though! SJ still had a fabulous birthday and I still got to cherish all those gigantic smiles with FOUR teeth missing.

I started the day by sneaking in her room to hang some streamers in the door and throw some pink balloons on her bed. This might sound fancy, but trust me it was nothing you are going to see on pinterest. She woke up late so all 5 of us snuck into her room to surprise her (not hard to do with a deaf girl). We sang happy birthday as a family and she was beaming!

Her birthday outfit was a shirt I got from a yard sale that had a number 5 on it, but I covered it with a pin that said “I am 6” and she also wore her cupcake headband from last year which was from a conisgnment shop.

No slaving over the oven this year. The cupcakes I sent with her to school were store bought and the 13×9 cake that we ate that night was all from a box.

My parents and nieces and nephew came over for her “party”. It worked out great because they were going to come over anyway because their mom just had a baby and needs to rest. It made for a really great surprise birthday slumber party though.

Decorations $2

Birthday accessories $6

Birthday desserts $10

Birthday joy- Priceless

So as you can see it was definitley a low budget simple year and I know SJ still loved it just as much as the years I go all out.

The fun continued on Saturday since the family was still around to hang out and ride scooters.

Then Sunday she graduated to the big girl class at children’s church and yesterday she had her first daddy/daughter date.

That’s the last of it though. The birthday festivities are officially over until next year, which may or may not be a theme party. I’ll warn you though, if an idea sparks, there is no stopping me!

By Natalie|2016-03-08T12:36:54+00:00March 8, 2016|Frugal Living, Motherhood, Parties, Uncategorized|5 Comments

Praise Report for Elle

Elle is almost 4 months old and I am sorry to admit that I have neglected to share updates, but I was waiting. Waiting to learn more about her hearing.

Since the last time I shared she had another ABR and it was a good appointment. The audiologist felt like she got a final reading and we won’t need to do anymore ABRs. Praise the Lord!

Here is what we know. Elle has mild hearing loss in the left ear and is right on the line of normal on the right ear. That means we will wait until she is mobile before we put a hearing aid on her left ear. When she is old enough she can decide whether or not she even wants to bother with the hearing aid. That is how mild her hearing loss is. She could potentially get by without any intervention at all. That’s really awesome, but it gets even better.

I was waiting to share this news because I really wanted to get the genetic test results back. Once that came I would be able to exhale. I called the hospital last week just in case it was ready, but it wasn’t. It took six weeks and when I finally got that call it was really bad timing because I was on my way to pick up SJ from school. I couldn’t wait any longer though I wanted to know. I was assuming it would be a really short phone call confirming that Elle’s hearing loss is the same as SJ’s, but it wasn’t. As I am driving along I was trying to take in all this mind blowing information. At the stoplight I grabbed some eyeliner and scrap paper to try to jot down some of what she was telling me.

The geneticist said SJ’s genetic mutation is typical severe to profound deafness and Elle’s is mild. I couldn’t hold back my exuberance. That’s great news. I exclaimed So it should stay mild? and she said yes. I could tell the geneticist on the phone was glad that she was able to rejoice with me. I’m guessing she has to make a lot sad phone calls when it comes to DNA results. I could hardly control myself I apologized for being so dramatic and I told her I had been expecting it to be different. I didn’t even know that it was possible for them to have two different forms of genetic hearing loss.

She said the only way this is possible is if either the mother or father have hearing loss. She said it could potentially be so mild it was never diagnosed. I jumped in before she even finished. That’s me! I know it sounds weird to be excited to claim responsibility for my child’s genetic mutations, but I have had trouble hearing specifically on my left side for a long time. Even on the blog I have talked about how I can’t hear high pitches. I have written about my self diagnosis for Meniere’s disease, or how I went to have my ears checked again when I was pregnant with Elle. Except I never felt like the Doctors took me seriously. I never stood up for myself and demanded answers or treatment. When the last audiologist never called me back I just dropped it. Yes, my hearing loss is a nuisance, but I manage. You know how it is with moms. We take care of everyone else first and our own needs get put on the back burner and forgotten.

So basically for the past 4 years we have assumed that J and I were both carriers of hearing loss because we can hear, but in actuality J is a carrier and I have what is called autosomal dominant hearing loss. I THINK. Don’t quote me on all this. I still have a lot to learn. When I casually mentioned to my mom that I am not good at genetics in the same way that I am not good at math. She plainly said “Understanding genetics is like rocket science. Don’t feel bad.”

I do hope to learn more when we meet with our geneticist in a couple weeks. I didn’t want to wait that long to share this news though. It’s such a huge relief to me. I had pretty much put my whole life on hold, not in a way that I resented, but my brain did not have space to be creative, work on blogging, photography or any additional endeavors. I was waiting to see how much Elle would need from me. I was waiting with bated breath to find out whether or not she would loose the hearing that she does have. No one other than God himself knows what each day holds for any of us, but at least for the most part I can rest now knowing that Elle’s hearing loss is stable and she will need very little intervention in comparison to having cochlear implants. I would have been fine either way, but this brings me so much peace. He always knows my needs.

By Natalie|2016-03-07T18:20:15+00:00March 7, 2016|Uncategorized|7 Comments

A Safer Internet

I knew the day would come when we wanted some kind of filter for the internet and with an 8 year old doing reports and searches online that day is here. I have been asking friends what they use and it’s been on my mind a lot lately.Except we aren’t at a place where we can afford a subscription or service like that right now so I have just been trying to keep a close eye on things.

Recently Z created a biography on Google Docs. It was really neat and creative, but I asked him where he got the images and it was basically a search engine. I took some deep breaths and explained that he wasn’t allowed to do that anymore.

Quick side note there is a book out there called “Good Pictures Bad Pictures” and from what I have read about it it’s a great way to open up discussion for if (or better yet when) your child is exposed to pornographic images. I haven’t ordered the book yet, but I’ll let you know more about that when I do.

There is bad stuff in the world and we can’t bubble wrap our kids, I get that, but it’s just depressing when you are looking up sing-a-longs on youtube and one of them is laced with vulgarity to be funny or you are trying to do a report on swing dancing but images of swingers show up and scar you for life. I am speaking from experience here.

So when I first heard about Kiddle the FREE safe search engine for kids, I immediately went to check it out.

Then I typed in words like guns, bikini, Oscar dresses, farts, butts, Kim Kardashian, transformers, spice, swingers, beheading- any word I could think of that could trigger something inappropriate and it passed all of my tests! Most of my even slightly controversial words it said “Oops, looks like your query contained some bad word. Please try again” Although when I checked it today I noticed it said “Oops. Try again” I am not too surprised they modified this because I am sure people were not wanting their kids to think everything was a bad word for example menstruation.

I am really relieved that Kiddle is here and paving the way for the internet to be a great resource for kids without damaging them. I mean it’s one thing when an adolescent goes looking for trouble, but it breaks my heart when a child is trying to do something totally innocent and gets blindsided. You can’t unsee things.

Granted, some parents are still upset because they were able to find questionable content on Kiddle. My response to this is that it is not a replacement for monitoring your children. Disney Land is generally a family friendly environment, but there is a possibility that the guy in front of you in line will have a tattoo of a naked lady on his bicep. So yes, when it comes to censoring the entire world wide web by hand there is a chance that things are going to slip through or that a search for the word lesbian is offensive to one person, but not the other. At least from what I’ve experienced Kiddle is going to filter let’s just say 99% of the scary stuff.

One other minor thing that I haven’t seen anyone else talk about in their reviews is that Kiddle will not show copyrighted content. At least that’s what I am guessing is the case I’m not sure. This heavily limits the amount content available when you use the images tab. So let’s say Z is looking for a picture of The Rescue Bots or Sonic the Hedgehog (words that we actually “Kiddled”). A bunch of other random stuff comes up that isn’t relevant. There are tons of other options when it comes to looking for images, but I thought I would mention this little hiccup in case you were looking for a picture of Elsa and found this

Instead of this.

So needless to say I am really excited about this search engine. I am thrilled that it is accessible to everyone even those of us on the tightest of budgets.

I know I will still want some other filter eventually that will work on all websites and devices, but this buys me some time. My 8 year olds internet usage is very limited and heavily monitored right now anyway so I think this will cover us for a while.

Do you use any kind of filter or program in your home? If so I’d love to hear about it.

By Natalie|2016-03-03T13:02:32+00:00March 3, 2016|Family, Schooling|1 Comment

Hot Nanny Rant

I might get in trouble for this, but I’ve got some profound marriage advice for all the working moms and dads out there. Are you ready?

Stop hiring hot nannies.

I know I will probably get hate mail for sexy shaming, but hear me out. At least a couple times a year some celebrity, politician, real life friend or whatever gets in trouble for having an affair with their nanny. Really. It’s so soap operay, but it seems to happen a lot and I think I may have a remedy for this.

How about picking a nanny whose experience could potentially surpass your age. When you look at the most influential nannies of the past century they look very different from the nannies I see on the cover of Us Weekly.

Take the Nanny reality shows for example. I never heard any scandals about any of them sexting.

Or that movie from 2005 Nanny McPhee. See what I mean?

Mary Poppins was cute and all, but if your nanny dresses like this then I’m not as concerned.

How about Mrs. Doubtfire? Yeah, I know “she” was a dad crossdressing to see his children illegally, but she was a good nanny!

So what you really want to look for in a nanny is someone that has a British accent and has their blouse buttoned all the way to the top. Umbrella and magic powers are recommended, but not required. What you don’t want is someone that looks like they just finished up auditioning for the bachelor.

There are a lot of bad celebrity examples that I could use to support my hot nanny theory, but I don’t want to give more attention to these sad stories. However there is one celebrity nanny where thankfully the dad actually made the RIGHT choice. Way to go dad! Last month after Eva Amurri’s husband got a lewd text from the nanny he came home to find her “waiting for him” in his bedroom. He secretly hit record on his phone to ensure he wouldn’t be framed or something (smart choice). Then he told her she was being extremely unprofessional and fired her on the spot. I hope he is an example for all the men out there put in this position. Unfortunately it doesn’t always work out this way.

So I’ve got a list of interview questions that could help weed out some of these sultry home wrecking nannies.

Of course you can ask all of the usual stuff like “What experience do you have working with children?” or “Do you know CPR?”, but here are some additional questions with ideal answers you would hope to hear.

Do you know how to twerk? You want your nanny to assume this is a cooking term.
What did you do for spring break 2014? You are looking for something along the lines of “Well, I got to see my kids who had been away at college”
Do you have a public Facebook account? If so, ask to see it.
What kind of music do you listen to? Anything that replaces the letter S with a $ or Z is a red flag.
Have you had a boob job? If it’s reconstructive surgery that’s totally fine.
What about a tramp stamp? Hopefully she thinks this has to do with a Disney movie and mailing a letter.
When I say the word party do you picture shot glasses or a Curious George cake? Obviously we are looking for the latter here and bonus points if she has the pinterest board to back it up.
Do you plan to use CPR on my husband? This is a trick question. The answer is no.
Do you have a snapchat account? If so say I am sorry, but this job is not for you.

Okay, okay, I’ll admit it. Even if you did find the perfect nanny I’m sure she would be terrified to work for you after hearing these questions, so you might want to scratch that idea. But seriously there is no shame in creeping on their Facebook.

By Natalie|2016-03-02T12:03:28+00:00March 2, 2016|Laughter, Uncategorized|7 Comments

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