Messymom – Page 50 – Making the Best of What Looks Like a Mess

The Good Times Van

My word for the year is good and it’s been helping me remember to focus on the good around me.

I think back to a season in my life that did not seem like it was good at all, my first year of high school. The year was 1997 and we were moving from Georgia to Texas. I was about to start 9th grade.

The old family minivan got us from one state to the next, but we knew it was on it’s last leg. My parents being as eccentric as they are frugal found a 1978 Dodge Ram Van for $1000 it seemed like a steal. As a 14 year old girl I couldn’t care less about the price or dependability. In my adolescent mind image was all that mattered and I was certain that this van was going to ruin mine. We called it the good times van because it actually said “Good Times Van” in a retro style font on the side.

It was multi toned brown, with bubble windows and on the inside there was an enormous steering wheel, burnt orange interior, and shag carpeting. Especially as the new kid in town I did not want to be seen anywhere near the Good Times Van, but I really had no choice so I tried to make the best of it.

Little did I know that in that same year the movie Austin Powers would become a huge sensation launching my generation into a flower power revolution. A year later in 1998 That Seventies Show would premier with ratings through the roof. It was then that the grotesque mortifying whale of a vehicle would become the envy of my peers. When people saw it coming (and believe me everyone could see it coming) it was welcomed with remarks about what a sweet ride it was.

It wasn’t long before I was the one people sought to carpool with. All of my friends would pile into the van to go to concerts and we would all shift our weight from side to side causing it to rock back and forth down the road. People that I didn’t even know would stop me in the halls, “your the one with the good times van?” Yeah, that’s me, and I would beam with pride.

I know it’s just a van and it shouldn’t matter what you drive, but this memory serves as a reminder that things aren’t always as bad as they seem. What I thought was a humiliating eyesore soon brought memories that I wouldn’t trade for a million dollars.

Who knew the Good Times Van would be such a good time after all.

By Natalie|2015-06-12T23:45:55+00:00June 12, 2015|My Life|4 Comments

The “I Love Lucy” Chemistry

I got free tickets to see I Love Lucy live at the Aranoff theater in Cincinnati and it was such a great experience. I used to watch reruns of the show back in the day. Watching it as an adult made me realize just how much my husband and I are just like Lucy and Ricky! I am the quirky free spirited one always trying new things and getting myself into some kind of trouble, while J is a little more grounded and inclined to ~~overthink~~ think things through.

It’s a great combination though and it’s not uncommon for opposites to attract. There is often chemistry there. Even in fictional love stories there are numerous times where Type A personality + Type B personality = True Love. I’m no movie or television buff, but I did my best to come up with a list of characters that have that “I Love Lucy” chemistry. Maybe you can help me add to it.

1. Lucy and Ricky Ricardo (I Love Lucy)

I already ‘splained myself on this one. Quirky meets grounded and BAM! Match made in heaven.

2. Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)

It’s not unlikely for this personality combination to start as a love/hate relationship, as was the case with Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. Darcy is about as straight laced as they come seeing everything in black and white. Elizabeth on he other hand was raised with an entirely different set of values and has “a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous” (to quote Jane Austen). Yet, it works. Sounds like another Lucy and Ricky to me.

3. Maria and Captain von Trapp (Sound of Music)

Um, can we say opposite? Another classic example of how a serious military guy can fall for a singing dancing “flibbertijibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown!” such as Maria. Once again, it took a while for them to realize their love, but it doesn’t get any more perfect than the captain and Maria.

4. Fran Fine and Mr. Sheffield (The Nanny)

If you are looking for the 1990’s modern adaptation of all of these love stories than look no further than the hit sitcom “The Nanny”. A wealthy widower who is reserved and proper ends up with a flashy, sassy, hot mess from Flushing Queens when Fran becomes the nanny of Mr. Sheffield’s three children. Of course it takes 5 of 6 seasons for them to admit their feelings, but they do end up happily ever after.

5. Cory and Topanga (Boy Meets World)

Another 90’s sitcom (sorry that’s my era). First of all how cool is it that we watched this connection start as children and now there is a spin off series where they are still married and have children!? Even though Cory and Topanga definitely mellow out a little making it less obvious how opposites attract. But let’s not forget that Topanga was a total hippy when she met the nerdy little Cory Matthews. Cory describes his love for Toganga by saying

“She gave me my first kiss. She taught me how to dance. She was always talking about these crazy things and I never understood a word she said. All I understood was that she was the girl I sat up every night thinking about.”

So that’s why I say Cory and Topanga fit the bill for straight laced guy and free spirited gal.

7. Joe and Anya (Roman Holiday)

Even though this classic black and white Audry Hepburn film doesn’t really end up as a love story I think it still shows that same pattern. A dedicated reporter tries to stay focused on business while the care free spontaneous princess just wants to chop off her hair, hop on a motorcycle, and live life to the fullest! At first Joe just wanted to get the story for his career, but in the end love, loyalty, and passion win him over.

8. Emmett and Wyldstyle (Lego Movie)

You can laugh if you want, but are Emmett and Wyldstyle from the Lego movie not the perfect example of the rule following guy totally falling for the independent artsy chick? I’ll admit Wyldstyle is way more serious than the playful free wheeling girls I have listed above, but she definitely likes to march to the beat of her own drum and eventually Emmett does too! Not to mention Wyld Style’s real name is LUCY. It’s like this I love Lucy comparison has gone full circle!

9. Ross and Rachel (Friends)

Ross Geller was the focused and introverted paleontologist while Rachel Green was a bit of a loose cannon who had many different jobs throughout the show. They were the unlikely nerd and cheerleader opposite combo that finally settled down together in the end. For that reason I would say this ultimate sitcom couple had a little “I Love Lucy” chemistry going on.

10. Belle and The Beast (Beauty and the Beast)

I know this is a stretch, but just think about it. Belle is that same dreamer, non conformist, make your own path leading lady and while we don’t know a ton about the Beast it’s safe to say he had that type A personality that would make them an opposite couple. I am sure you know the story so I won’t go into detail, but once again true love wins in the end!

So those are my picks for fictional couples with “I Love Lucy” chemistry. Although, I should mention it doesn’t have to be the male that has the A type personality.
There is Danny and Sandy from Greece, or Allie and Noah from the Notebook (he was the one to bring her out of her shell), or even though I do realize they were cartoon dogs Lady and the Tramp is another prime example. I should stop before I come up with another list of ten. Feel free to add your own. I am sure there are lots more.

Are you an I Love Lucy Couple?

By Natalie|2015-06-11T10:51:48+00:00June 11, 2015|Marriage, Uncategorized|15 Comments

Questions Answered With First Response

I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of Influence Central for First Response. I received product samples as well as a promotional item to thank me for my participation.

I recently wrote about the 10 pregnancy symptoms I had before I knew I was pregnant and it stirred up a lot of discussion because it seems that just about everything can be a pregnancy symptom.

I have heard it all and seen it all. You can have every symptom in the book and not be expecting or vice versa. Take it from someone who has been in both of those positions more than once. The only way to alleviate the uncertainty is through an accurate pregnancy test and the sooner you can know the less you have to wonder! That’s where First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test comes in.

Pregnancy tests have come a long way, even in the past few years that I have been using them. The First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test can detect pregnancy as early as SIX DAYS BEFORE the day of your missed period. That’s like one week less of having to play guessing games with every little potential symptom. What a relief!

Not only is the First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test able to give you results sooner than any other brand of pregnancy test, but they have a new Comfort Sure Design feature that makes the whole experience…um…less awkward. The curve shape is especially design to fit a woman’s hand, the handle is longer, and the tip is 50% wider. When you use this newly designed test you will wonder why no one thought of this sooner! I have taken dozens and dozens of tests over the years and trust me, the First Response Early Result Pregnancy test with new comfort sure design just makes sense.

It’s easy to use, easy to read, and easy to find since it’s available at all major drugstores and grocery stores. The retail price is $8.99-$15.99 . The First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test is FDA approved and can detect all relevant forms of urinary hCG throughout pregnancy ANY time of the day. So you don’t have to worry about taking the test in the morning like you used to. The results are 99% accurate from the day of the expected period and the test only takes 3 minutes. If you are like me and the test shows 2 pink lines then get ready girl because you are pregnant!

So whether you think you are pregnant, want to be pregnant, or just want to quit wondering, I recommend the only test that can tell you 6 days before your expected period and the only test with the comfort sure design:

First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test.

Stop asking questions and get some answers with First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test .

Be sure to go to FirstResponse.com for some wonderful pregnancy planning resources, coupons, product information, and more.

By Natalie|2015-06-10T09:08:27+00:00June 10, 2015|Pregnancy & Birth, Uncategorized|8 Comments

It’s Like a Naked Nightmare

I apologize that I haven’t started my Look Back and Laugh Linkup like I thought I would. I did want to share a little “Look Back and Laugh” story that happened to me last week though.

Here is the scene. Our bathroom has two doors. One goes to the master bedroom and the other goes to the hall way. While I was taking a shower someone locked the door. I don’t know who the perpetrator was or what in the world their motive was, but if we had surveillance cameras I bet we’d see a curious little two year old turning a lock and walking out slamming the door behind him.

Unaware of this, I tried getting into my room from the bathroom and from the hall only to find both doors locked and no one in there to unlock it. I panicked. I know you can pick an interior lock with a bobby pin or something like that, but I have tried that before when this has happened and could never get it to work. J has been the only one able to unlock these door knobs.

I figured J could walk me through it if he were available, but guess what? MY PHONE WAS IN MY ROOM! So there I was wrapped up in a towel with no access to my clothes whatsoever. I pretty much freaked out. I had access to all the other rooms, but I needed my clothes. I could ask one of my apartment neighbors to use their phone, but HELLO! I’m in a towel. Is this like a messed up Desperate Housewives episode or what? Maybe I could fit into Z’s clothes, but come on, he’s 7 and I am pregnant. Not. Going. To. Happen.

J wasn’t due home for several hours and to make matters worse for once in my life I had plans. A baby sitter was coming over so that I could go out to a show with my sister in law. What in the world would you do in that situation?

Well, now that I think you are feeling how I was at that moment I can share the miracle that happened. Although my computer had also been in my room, I just happened to bring it into the kitchen shortly before my shower. When I realized that I texted J (which I can do via iMessage on the laptop) but he was in school so I watched a few youtube videos about lock picking (and was again unsuccessful) but eventually J was able to text me back and walk me through it.

So it all worked out in the end, but my heart was POUNDING. Next time something like that happens I better wake up and realize it was all a dream!

By Natalie|2015-06-09T10:15:09+00:00June 9, 2015|Laughter|14 Comments

Prayers to the God of Miracles

2 years ago I wrote a post called “We Need a Miracle”. It was one on the most vulnerable posts I’ve ever had to write. We were living in the basement of my brother’s house driving an hour to get SJ to school and the money was about to run out. We knew we needed to move across state lines so that she could qualify for scholarships, which meant we had 3 months to find a job and a home starting from scratch with zero connections. We truly did need a miracle and we got one! We found an apartment crazy enough to accept the pay stubs from J’s temp job he was wrapping up and we lived off of savings for a few weeks while he tried to find work. While volunteering at SJ’s school he met a guy that gave him a job! We knew he still needed a “career” in the long run, so that is why he went back to school. All that happened 2 years ago and the Lord has provided for us this whole time.

Last year I wrote another post titled “We’re Not Moving” where I boasted about the sense of relief I felt by renewing the lease on apartment for another year. At that point we had just moved 3 times in less than 3 years, so I was thrilled to finally not be going anywhere.

However, this year is a different story. We gave the notice to the apartment management that we would NOT be renewing our lease. I am all for “Lots of Hope for the Little Home” and I don’t mind living in a small space at all, but I’ll spare you all the details and just say that we definitely need something more accommodating for a family of six. Trust me. We also need a van because after three kids I have learned that a baby doesn’t need much. However, we can not legally fit all 4 kids in our current vehicles so this is a non negotiable upgrade. As if that weren’t enough J needs a new job. He has to have a co-op for school, so something in the field of computer programming. Do you see how I might be just a tiny bit stressed? The baby is coming in 5 months and all we need is a car, a house, and a job. No big deal.

I say no big deal sarcastically, but it truly is not a big deal for God. You’ve probably heard the songs Oceans by Hillsong United. The line that says “You’ve never failed and you won’t start now” has been resonating deep within me. We find ourselves desperate for another miracle, but thankfully I serve a God of miracles. He is a mighty savior with infinite resources.

So here we go again. We need a house, a van, and a job. We need a miracle. Will join me in praying and believing for that?

By Natalie|2015-06-05T21:32:36+00:00June 5, 2015|My Life, Uncategorized|9 Comments

Free Donuts!?

I have been working hard to cut back sugar for our family this year. Each month another sweet treat is eliminated from the menu in our home and will no longer be restocked, but one thing I don’t think I will ever make completely off limits is donuts.

Did you know that National Donut Day is TOMORROW!? I didn’t, but it turns out it’s a thing.

Be sure to stop by your local Krispy Kreme or Dunkin’ Donuts to get a free donut Friday June 5th!

I know that Dunkin’ Donuts will require a drink purchase, but they have excellent coffee. I will be ordering my favorite, which is the cool and sweet Iced Caramel Latte with Whipped cream.

There is a party in my tummy. So yummy. So yummy…

Speaking of parties, a lot of the party ideas that we implemented SJ’s 4th birthday would be perfect for donut day or a variety of occasions.

Check out the party post HERE to see how my DIY donut invitations, donut hole fruit kabobs, and donut piñata turned out.

You can also head over to my donut party pinterest board for even Donut fun like:

Donuts for elves (they are actually cheerios). So cute!

Or stamping colorful thumbprints for donut sprinkles.

“If You Give a Dog a Donut” might be fun reading material for your kids this weekend.

There are so many possibilities! I realize we have a health epidimec in our society so maybe I shouldn’t be promoting a day that celebrates what is possibly the least nutritious snack of all time disguised as a breakfast food. But there are actually a lot of alternative recipes out there for vegan, gluten free, paleo, and keto donuts. Because regardless of your dietary needs I think every one deserves something sweet from time to time, “donut you think? “

Do you have a favorite donut?

By Natalie|2015-06-04T09:28:33+00:00June 4, 2015|Crafts, Creativity, Frugal Living, Parties|5 Comments

How Do I Know I am Done Having Babies?

J and I always wanted a big family. We were in agreement, but we never set a number. It seems for a lot of people they have always known exactly how many kids they wanted, but I never did.

Yet, here we are at baby number 4 and suddenly I know that I’m done.

This is actually SJ. I don’t have a sono of baby #4 yet.

It’s not that frazzled hair, bug-eyed mom staring blankly into space whimpering, “No more. Pleeease make it stop!”. I mean, I might look like that mom at times, but that’s not how I feel about it.

I’m going to be extremely candid and uncensored with my personal thoughts and feelings here, so please keep in mind that they are just that- personal. Every couple needs to follow their own path when it comes to bearing children; when, if, and how many. And sometimes that path is determined for you for various reasons. I don’t want my words to be hurtful, I am just expressing how it’s worked out for me at this point. That’s all.

There are a lot of reasons I feel like I am done, but the biggest is that I don’t want to birth children when I am over 35. There I said it. I said it to someone the other day who gracefully mentioned that ALL of her children were born when she was over 35. I hope I did a decent enough job of pulling my foot out of my mouth when she told me that, because I really do think she and other women like her are awesome. I know lots of people that have gone that route and I am all for it.

For me though, I will be turning 33 this month and so as far as I’m concerned this is it. Given my fertility history, if we continued having children I would be at least 35 when the next one would be born. I know that pregnancies after 35 are considered “high risk”, but that’s not even why I decided this. I just had a peace about having closure at this time. My body has been either pregnant or nursing for 8 years. After this baby I will have committed a decade of my life to using my body as a beautiful and miraculous source of nourishment. I feel a little sad about moving on from that season, but I know I’m ready. It’s not just about pregnancy either, these children grow up and I am considering my age when they graduate, and potentially have my grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Only God knows the future. Children, health, and lives in general are all very unpredictable. So I realize my planning is somewhat futile, but I still like to dream about what lies ahead.

I look forward to soaking up every last bit of this pregnancy and turning the pages slowly as I close the chapter on this era.

I like that I know so many other moms that are at the same stage as me. I feel like there is a bond between us. If you know me, you know I never let conformity determine my choices AT ALL, but I have a lot of women I can turn to for support about this decision. And that’s a nice feeling.

Me and one of my closest friends when we were pregnant with our oldest sons (8 years ago). She has had 6 pregnancies and I’ve had 4. We are both feeling the same about the next step.

The thought of missing the tiny toddler voices makes my heart ache, but I get a burst of excitement thinking of being able to ride bikes as a family, or travel and minister together, and play board games on a level that is fun for everyone involved.

My mind continues to waltz through visions of each season; from enjoying regular date nights with my husband again when we are in our
40’s, to planning weddings and welcoming grandchildren in our 50’s, maybe seeing the world in our 60’s, and then perhaps great grandchildren?

Who knows what will happen. Plans change. Circumstances change. Feelings change. Proverbs 27:1 says “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.” As far as what J and I have discussed though (and there was a lot of prayer and discussion), this will be my final pregnancy. The million dollar question is always How do you know when you are done? The answer is simple for me.

I know I am done because the thought of it is comforting.

By Natalie|2015-06-02T23:00:53+00:00June 2, 2015|Family, Motherhood, Pregnancy & Birth|16 Comments

Are Unexcused Absences Ever Excusable?
Gallery
Are Unexcused Absences Ever Excusable?

Schooling, Uncategorized

Are Unexcused Absences Ever Excusable?

I take school and academics very seriously, but I am not opposed to missing a day every once in a while even when the reasons aren’t related to death or illness. Maybe you’ve seen some of the headlines in the news lately.

Mike Rossi is a dad who wrote a very passionate letter to the school’s principal which then went viral. The letter came as a response to the disapproval of him taking his kids out of school to watch him run in the Boston Marathon.

Then there was a mom, who was also a substitute teacher that was ARRESTED because her 10 year old honor student had too many unexcused absences. He was allowed 6, but had 12. Some of those were excused with a doctor’s note, but the mother, Julie Giles, claims they were all illness related. Giles says:

“The truth is, l cannot afford a copay every single time they are sick, but I never want to send them to school when they feel bad or could possibly get others sick,”

No doctor’s note, no excuse. Sometimes your child is too sick for school, but not sick enough to have to see a doctor. I completely understand what that’s like! On the other hand there are always two sides to every story. I do realize the importance of rules and protocol, but it’s like Mike Rossi said in regards to his children’s Boston Marathon absences

“Zero tolerance equals zero common sense, and in this case, they made this blanket rule and say, no exceptions? It’s silly.”

Thankfully I haven’t run into this problem with our schools. My children have missed school for various reasons, including trips and family events. I know their classmates have too. I haven’t heard or experienced any backlash from this.

When my husband J was wrapping up his last semester he wanted to bring Z to his college campus to see a project he had been working on. J had spent months working to perfect a Tic-Tac-Toe game. I know that might sound ridiculous for a grown man who is in college, but maybe a little less silly when you realize he was programing software that would enable a robot to play Tic-Tac-Toe. J had been sending updates and videos to Z every step of the way and now that it was finally complete he really wanted Z to be able to see it in action. So I emailed his teacher and told the school exactly what was going on knowing that this was technically an unexcused absence. His teacher and the faculty were extremely supportive. Z was able to be a part of invaluable learning opportunity visiting a college campus and playing Tic-Tac-Toe with a robot in 1st grade! Not to mention the priceless memories with his dad.

I really hope these irrational standards for school attendance are isolated incidences and that the majority of our schools really do support the families they are serving.

So, let’s chat.

Did your parents allow you to miss school for certain events when you were growing up? What about your children? I think you know how I feel.

By Natalie|2015-05-29T09:28:46+00:00May 28, 2015|Schooling, Uncategorized|16 Comments

What I Wore My First Trimester

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I will have to do a separate post explaining why this pregnancy (my 4th) will also more than likely be my last. It has always been my preference that I would know when I was done having children so that I could really go out with a bang. What can I say? I like closure. So this is the end of a child birthing era for me and I want to finish in style.

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These days my style usually consists of jeans, a t-shirt, Toms, no makeup, and a messy bun. That’s not to say that there aren’t occasions that I do try to coordinate just a little bit. Those are the outfits I’ll be focusing on for What I Wore Wednesday.

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This shear pink striped top was featured in a previous WIWW last summer, only this time I added a belt and paired it with some comfy black leggings and flats. The first trimester can be tricky because you are’t quite “showing”, but if you are like me you certainly aren’t fitting in your regular clothes. That’s why I was all about large tops and leggings these past couple months.

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Next up I have the same outfit I wore for my profile pic. This shirt is NOT maternity, but I always feel like I look pregnant when I wear it, so I finally just packed it up with my maternity clothes. I am also wearing some Old Navy maternity skinny jeans that I LOVE and my fave pair of Gap sandals.

Oh, and I have to mention my little side kick sporting his Wal-Mart jammies. He always likes to copy me when we do these shoots.

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Lastly, it’s back to leggings with a big shirt. On the left I am wearing a dress from the Gap (I consider it more of a shirt though!). On the right is a “Pinned it Spinned it” outfit which I had posted on Instagram. A lot of these clothes I wore to camouflage my big secret, but now the secrets out and it’s a good thing because my bump is less and less conspicuous everyday!

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So those are some of the highlights from the first trimester. Now that the weather is warming up it’s probably going to be summer dresses for the win. I’ll have another installment of What I Wore Wednesday maternity edition further down the road.

That’s all for now!

By Natalie|2015-05-27T01:02:25+00:00May 27, 2015|Uncategorized|9 Comments

10 Ways To Feel Loved and Adored By Your Spouse
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10 Ways To Feel Loved and Adored By Your Spouse

Family, Marriage

10 Ways To Feel Loved and Adored By Your Spouse

(originally posted on November 11, 2013)

Imagine your husband brings home a rare painting in an ornate frame and he wants to hang it up in the living room, but you can’t find any nails, or hooks. So you try to put this heavy piece of art work on the wall with some double sided scotch tape. It is not going to work. Even if you put rolls and rolls of tape, it might stick for a moment, but then it is going to fall off and you’ll be in worse shape then when you started because there may be damage to the painting.

That’s how it is sometimes in marriage. Some women are made of rubber when it comes to receiving compliments and affection. We can blame our husbands all day long (and they probably deserve some of it), but like I tell my kids “you are responsible for yourself”. There are a lot of husbands out there that are geniunly in love with their wives, but dare I say we aren’t feeling it.

I am not an expert on marriage in any way, but my marriage and self confidence has seen a lot of ups and downs in the past 15 years! So if you have a moment, I would like to share some advice for how to start feeling the love.

1. Quit Dodging His Compliments

JoAnne Summers (a pastor’s wife in Dallas Texas) shared at a women’s conference years ago that when responding to compliments you should try saying “That’s a nice thing to say”. My mom and I have joked about this for YEARS and we can’t say it now without bursting into laughter, but it has stuck with us. The point is, just take the compliment. Obviously “thank you” works too. Just keep it simple. If you want to resist a compliment for example:

I like your hair- “Are you kidding, there is so much humidity today, it’s a disaster” or
That soup was tasty- “well, I probably shouldn’t have put so much salt in it.”

Instead revert to these tried and true lines, “Thank you, that is really nice of you!” The end.

2. Be Quiet

Since my daughter received her cochlear implants I have had to have training in learning how to talk with her and encourage a response. Sometimes when teaching a young child or baby to speak we may repeatedly say “Mama… ma ma… say mama sweetie. Can you say ma ma?” All the while the child may be like, I would, but I don’t want to interrupt. I was told this is a common mistake for parents with special needs children. You want to encourage them so badly that you flood them with language and forget to pause. I’m talking about a really nice long pause that is adequate enough for them to process and digest, and then potentially speak. Similary, women often have a tendency to talk a lot more then men and so maybe the reason you feel like you aren’t hearing what you need is that you aren’t giving him the chance to say it.

3. Shoulder to Shoulder Contact

A guy doesn’t like to feel cornered into being emotional. Fishing for compliments isn’t ideal either. One way of encouraging the opportunity to bring back that loving feeling is through shoulder to shoulder contact which is covered in the book “Love and Respect”. Women like to chat face to face, dudes are more into doing an activity (like golf or video games) side by side. When I heard this it really made sense for my relationship. Men are more likely to open up and share some of there feelings when they aren’t on the spot. So I encourage you (and I) to try some shoulder to shoulder quality time with our significant others.

3. Love Yourself

Maybe the lack of love and adoration you feel is really coming from yourself. I know as women we feel inclined to put our own needs at the bottom of the list and put all other duties and obligations first. The problem is that the list is so long that you never get to the part where you get rest and are nurtured. It’s time to show yourself some love and you may feel instantly more “adorable”.

4. Believe Him

When your husband tells you look nice, or that he is happy in your relationship, just believe him. Rule number one about accepting the compliment is just the first step. Kind of like fake it ’til you make. The next step is to receive and believe the compliment. Back to my analogy of the big painting representing your husband’s love, I just want you to get rid of the double sided tape. I don’t care if your husband comes home with a cheap little poster that he bought at Walmart. I want you to get a drill and bolt that sucker to the wall, ya hear?

5. Know the Truth

We all know how much the devil loves to beat us up, and even more so how he loves to tear down a godly union. When you start doubting yourself, or your husband, or marriage turn your focus on God’s truth. There is a long list of references and truth verses here available for free download.

6. Know Your Love Language

I think everyone is familiar with The 5 Love Languages by now. It is a must read. If you can figure out what makes you feel loved then you and your husband can work at gearing your activities and exchanges toward that thing. Also know what his love language is, because bless his heart he is probably trying to tell you he loves you in his own language. When you realize that, you can see just how much he has been loving you all along. All the little cleaning up he was doing that you felt was undermining your domestic role was really his way of loving you with an act of service (not that I would know anything about that).

7. Be Yourself

Sometimes even full grown married women find themselves so desperate for affection that they try to put on an act. It’s never as appealing as the real you. If you are funny be funny. If you’re quiet natured that’s cute. If you’re into sports cool, but if fashion is your thing, own it. Being yourself is adorable.

8. Don’t Be Deceived By Fictional Romance

We watch The Bachelor or read Nicholas Sparks and think romance comes looking like a Ryan Gosling Hey Girl meme. It’s really just a bunch of gunk. Sometimes we have to pull the plug on these things if they are causing more harm than good. I have even had Christian romance novels that ended up making me feel like my marriage was inadequate. Don’t hold your husband up to these unrealistic standards. You may find yourself feeling more love and admiration when you stop limiting romance to chocolate and roses.

9. Stop husband comparing!

So Billy Bob writes poems for his wife every week and posts them on Facebook. Whoop-de-doo! I have fallen into the husband comparison trap before because my husband is an introvert and I have compared him to the extraverts that just live for PDA. This made me feel like my quiet husband was ashamed of me. So the man that would stand on a roof top and declare love for his bride is better than the man that actually lives it out behind closed doors? No. This is only one way we compare. Yours may be different, but none of it’s good. So don’t do it!

10. Ignore This List

Okay, maybe you don’t have to completely ignore this list. But I don’t want it to be another set of rules for you to have to follow, especially with today’s abundance of advice available via social media. Reading too many online articles and self help books telling you how to have the perfect marriage can often end up being more pressure and stress than they’re worth. I hope that some of these tips might be helpful, and have connected with you as they have with me, but I also hope they aren’t preachy and weighty. Just have fun with your spouse and relax a bit. You’ll start to feel more genuine connection that way than you ever will following some formula.

At the end of the day just remember that no matter what, you really are adorable. I mean it!

By Natalie|2015-05-25T11:29:48+00:00May 24, 2015|Family, Marriage|18 Comments