Messymom – Page 48 – Making the Best of What Looks Like a Mess

What to Expect to Pay at Yard Sales

Yard sale season is upon us. In fact, this coming weekend (August 6-9) is the annual world’s longest yard sale. The same one I participated in a couple years ago.

As someone who has hosted many yard sales and gone to hundreds I feel pretty qualified to share some of my expertise with the world.

There is no way I could fit all of my tips in at once, so let’s just start with what to expect to pay. If you are selling then this would apply to what to expect to get.

There are many different factors, and you can find countless lists online that give price ideas for specific items, but as a general rule I like to expect to pay 90% off retail value.

I know it sounds crazy (especially to the person selling) but I have kept this rule of thumb for years and I always use it as a gauge when I am deciding whether or not I should jump on something.

Remember this is just a rough reference point to get you started. There are many things to keep in mind when using the 90% off rule whether buying or selling.

1. Some stuff will actually go for less

For example last weekend I got this old Little Tikes Picnic table for $2. If I bought one new it would be at least $50. However, this one is like 20+ years old and needs some TLC so it was a steal. I have pinned refurbishing ideas that I really hope to implement, but even if I threw it out tomorrow we have gotten our $2 worth out of it already for sure!

Some other examples maybe some jewelry that was once worth $35 is only going to sell for $1. Or a couch that was $800, but has been through the ringer and no one is going to pay more than $35 for it now.

It depends on the condition, age, and popularity.

2. Some stuff will go for more

On the contrary you can certainly ask or pay more than 90% off. A couple days ago I found an Ikea canopy like this one.

I had just been looking at the ones at the store and wanting it for the girls room so I know they retail for $20. The asking price was $5 and I jumped on it. I wasn’t thinking that I was tied down to the 90% off rule. I felt it was fair deal.

For all you sellers please keep in mind that yard sale clientele are looking for BARGAINS. If you have something valuable that you don’t want to give away for pennies you can always post it on Craig’s List or Ebay. That’s when you’ll get buyers looking for your specific item and they will pay more.

3. Items are often priced by category and not original value

For example books 50 cents, clothes $1, DVDs $2. You can’t get nitpicky about individually pricing everything. You can also usually pay less if you buy more. I call it bundling because that’s what they say on American Picker’s and it doesn’t get anymore pro than that right? I got all of these pajamas for $5 so it ended up being like 30 cents per set.

There were some really cute all matching PJ’s which I split between my daughter and niece. SCORE!

I actually don’t enjoy haggling. My personality is more likely to just skip something altogether rather than negotiate. ALTHOUGH, if I am really knowledgable about a product or the market prices in that area I am sometimes confident enough to do so. Knowing the 90% off rule has helped me a lot because even though I can’t stress enough that it’s a really rough estimate, it helps me stay focused and have a plan as I shop.

For example, this weekend I found some really ugly stained stackable lawn chairs (which we really need now that we have a yard) and I thought I could probably clean them up and spray paint them.

The lady wanted $3 a piece. I wanted $1 a piece and that’s what I ended up walking away with. She actually begged me to take them. I think we both felt good about the end results. The chairs are worth about $10 a pop in perfect condition, but they are badly stained so I am going to have to invest some time and money into them and she was probably going to end up throwing them in the garbage.

The point to this whole post is very simple. The baseline price for most items at garage sales is 10% (90% off) what it would retail for brand new in the store. I just loooove yard sales and they usually last through part of October in my area so I look forward to a couple more months of dirt cheap goodies.

Are you a yard sale junkie? I’d love to hear your tips!

By Natalie|2015-08-03T13:27:28+00:00August 3, 2015|Frugal Living, Uncategorized|11 Comments

Links to Some of My Favorite Home Design Blogs

Right now my budget, my kids, and my schedule are all pretty much anti-home decor, but I love the idea of getting to start up another home remodel or even just room makeover.

So to close out this week’s theme of home renovations I wanted to point you to some bloggers that I have gotten connected with through a group called The Blog Love Project. These ladies are so talented and creative! I encourage you to take a long look around their sites especially if you are wanting to spruce up your own dwelling place.

Let’s start with Maggie from Less House More Home . She is just now getting her blog going, but has some really adorable ideas on her site and she’s thrifty too so you know I love that! Check out this frame wall tutorial.

I love the whole look, especially the camera print and the splash of yellow.

Then there’s Betsy from Happily Ever After Etc. There are tons of great projects, tips, and pics on this blog. I just LOVE this little challenge she participates in called The Thrift Store Swap.

The idea is for several bloggers to pick out random items from their local thrift store (for $10) and mail them to each other. So everyone has a surprise item that they have to repurpose and let me tell you it is the coolest thing to see what they come up with! I told them if I weren’t in the middle of preparing for a baby I would so be joining in on this one. Hopefully in the future. Anyway, you have to check out Betsy’s thrift store swap posts.

Next I wanted to share Meg’s blog Green With Decor because she is all about interior design and her favorite color is my favorite color. GREEN! Along with before and after photos of her home renovation projects, house tours, and practical cleaning tips, she also gives a lot of decorating advice like this post called 10 Design Tips for a Bathroom Renovation

Our House Now a Home is a DIY blog by Emily. You could probably spend all day looking at all the cute projects she does. For example this Paint Dipped Coastal Style End Table Redo is just too cute.

Her tutorials are always very thorough and budget friendly.

I’ve recently gotten to know Justine of Little Dove Creations through the blogosphere and although her blog expands beyond just decorating she does have a lot on there about their home renovation and decorating ideas. One of my personal favorites is the DIY Pallet Wall. Drool.

I want to do this one of these days.

On a side note if you are really just love looking at interior decorating then you have to check out GoHaus’s list of 5 Inspiring Interior Designers to Follow on Instagram.

Photos from Angela Kounnas Instagram

This has been a fun little miniseries. Just to do a recap on my post for the week we have

Home Improvements

The Seven Year Flip

The Importance of Good Flooring

How We Installed Hardwood Over Carpet Part 2

and last up is today’s list of lovely home decor blogs you should definitely check out. I am chomping at the bit to get some stuff set up in our new home, but first we just need to finish unpacking.

On that note I will go ahead and sign off. Have a great weekend everybody!

By Natalie|2015-08-01T19:25:38+00:00July 31, 2015|Projects|4 Comments

How We Installed Hardwood Over Carpet Part 2

After getting so much positive feedback and tons of interest in our little laminate wood flooring installation project we decided to do a follow up along with a little time-lapse video of how the floor removal process went. For part one click here.

Our little experimental project consisted of laying a floating floor over the carpet in our apartment. We like the aesthetics, but mainly the dining area was carpeted and we knew that wasn’t going to work especially with three small children! So we laid the floor down over it and that definitely simplified clean up after eating (and potty training for that matter).

Still, we were unsure at the time exactly what the carpet would look like after years of being smashed under our layers of flooring. It turns out it looked great! WAY better than if we would have been living our daily lives trying to spot treat that area!

In the video you will see J removing the planks, followed by the removal of the subfloor which was OSB, and then vacuuming the carpet underneath.

Since we didn’t really document the original process we thought this video would be a nice way to see how it all came together. Even though it is of the removal, just reverse it to see how the installment would work.

A lot of readers have questions over the past couple years including-

“How long did it take?” It took about 8 hours once we had the materials ready

“Did it end up being damage free for the carpet underneath after removing?” YES!

“Is it strong enough to use as a dance floor?” I don’t know. Our three kids ages 2,5, and 7 have used it as a dance floor in some ways. It’s held up pretty well, but it had some minor evidence of wear and tear after a while.

“Would this work for an upstairs apartment? How is the sound for the downstairs neighbors?” If you are really concerned about the noise you can add a layer of floor muffler underlayment in-between your OSB and laminate planks. We did live in an upstairs apartment so it’s definitely doable, but I guess it depends on how much of a priority the volume control is for you.

That’s pretty much it. In the end we got our full deposit back after we moved and the carpet looked like new. I can assure you that would not have been the case had we not laid down the floors. And the best part is we didn’t spend all that money just for those years in the apartment, we got to take the floor with us and we are reusing it where we live now.

Our only regret was not continuing the flooring into the hallway because it is also such a high traffic area and it took a lot of abuse. If you are interested in doing a flooring project like this in your own house or rental property and you have any other questions please feel free to ask. If I can’t answer them I’ll get with the handy man that works behind the scenes here and I’m sure he can get you some info.

Good luck with your project!

By Natalie|2015-07-30T14:49:41+00:00July 30, 2015|Frugal Living, Projects, Simple Living|18 Comments

The Importance of Good Flooring

While this post is sponsored by GoHaus, all opinions are my own (as always).

Whether you are building a home, remodeling one, or even in our case renting, choosing the right flooring is critical.

Not only does it add to the character of your home and play an important role in the design aspect, it also serves a very practical purpose in the functionality of your abode.

When we were remodeling our home I didn’t have children yet and there were so many things I never took into consideration like cleaning up catapulted meatballs or having the floor second as a landing pad for a child learning to walk. Will juice stain it? Will fleas live in it? Will it withstand hours of the families “Just Dance” championship? There is a lot to take into consideration.

As I mentioned before we recently moved into a new rental property and while I am thrilled with the hardwood flooring that is throughout most of the house, there are other parts of our new place (like the basement and kitchen) where the flooring is lacking. I LOVE this piece from www.GoHaus.com called “Install the Right Floors for Every Room” because it goes beyond the asthetics and really walks you through how the floors will be treated in each area and what kind of floor is ideal for that particular space. I have gotten so much inspiration from this website and J and I are getting pumped about tackling some projects in our new place. I know it might not seem like there is much leeway with home renovations when you are renting, and truthfully it does put serious limitations on just how much you can customize, but where there is a will there is a way!

In our last rental property we were able to successfully install and remove plank flooring from our apartment and the results where so successful we are 100% ready to try this approach again. In fact, I have had a lot of people ask how the preexisting floor underneath looked after years of having our temporary floor over it. At the time I couldn’t answer that question because we hadn’t moved yet, but now I can say with certainty that the flooring underneath was preserved the whole time. I even have a time lapse video of the floor removal that I will be sharing tomorrow and you can see for yourself.

All of that to say that even renters can have some options when it comes to flooring projects and as a bonus you can take the floor with you when you move! This method of installation is called a floating floor because it does not have to be glued, stapled or nailed down to the subfloor or underlayment. The flooring simply stays in place using a click plank flooring which is what we did and plan to do again. For a detailed tutorial of how to install a click floor check out gohaus.com.

I’ll be sharing more about the outcome of our apartment tomorrow and I’m definitely looking forward to showing you how the floor installations go at our new place. The right floor can make a room look bigger, feel warmer, and welcome you home from the moment you step foot in the door. I encourage you to go check out GoHaus for inspiration, tips, and advice on all things flooring.

So GO! Be inspired and start that flooring project you’ve been dreaming up. You know you have been wanting a change. Why not start from the ground up?

By Natalie|2015-07-29T01:20:22+00:00July 29, 2015|Uncategorized|12 Comments

The Seven Year Flip

When we bought our first home we did a complete overhaul to the house, but it wasn’t exactly a flip. It was never meant to be. We weren’t looking for a quick investment.

We just wanted a home that we could afford and that pretty much narrowed our search down to fixer uppers, which was fine because J is so handy and we always wanted our first house to be unique. Of course, we didn’t plan for the remodel to take 7 years, but hey life happens and we were living it!

This post is just a tiny little glimpse at some of the before and afters of our first renovation. I’ll post links to the extended version of the remodel for anyone that wants to see more, but this will be the first time I am going to share just how much we bought it for, how much we put into it, and what it sold for. Which, I hope will be inspiring for all the DIYers out there.

The Living Room

The Dining Room

The Hallway

The Kitchen

The pictures were taken at opposite angles of the room, but you get the idea.

The Master Bedroom

The House

It was winter grass for the record

So that’s most of it other than the two other bedrooms, bathrooms, and laundry room. I don’t know if any of you like to watch “Flip or Flop” or any of those HGTV shows for that matter. I love that stuff, and so how can I not show a final tally of how this investment turned out for us financially? These are not exact numbers by the way, but they are pretty close.

We purchased the house in 2004 for $77,000

We spent a little over $35,000 on renovations. Not all at once! Remember this was a 7 year project. I also thought it would be worth mentioning that the kitchen was by far the biggest expense coming in at a total of $13,000! That includes gutting the entire room, putting up new walls, laying slate floors, getting all knew custom built cabinets, crown molding, granite counter tops, the booth, the lighting, and all new energy efficient stainless steel appliances. So it was a whopper, but it could have cost a lot more had we not done most of the grunt work ourselves.

Lastly, we put the house on the market the week of Christmas (talk about bad timing) but miraculously received an offer days later for our asking price of $139,000. How cool is that?

In the end we spent 112,000 (77,000+35,000). We sold for $139,000 giving us a $27,000 profit. Instead of paying to live somewhere we made over $3,000 a year off of our property. Not too shabby, although keep in mind most of the time we were somewhere in-between the before and after. So it wasn’t a classy situation believe me, and I can assure you that there was a ton of physical labor involved. Let’s just say we earned our keep.

Not that it’s anyones business what happened to that money, but we were able to pay off all of our debt including student loans, a car loan, medical bills, and credit cards. It has been such a blessing to be out from underneath all of that! I am really happy with the outcome of our “7 year flip” even though it’s not realistic for us to be home owners right now, I look forward to the day we can do something like this again. I say that looking at all the pretty pictures. It’s kind of like childbirth though, you forget how much effort it took!

Have you ever done any major home renovations? Would you do it again?

By Natalie|2015-07-28T02:45:35+00:00July 28, 2015|Frugal Living, My Life, Projects|4 Comments

Home Improvements

If you asked me what my blog was about I would say motherhood, family, crafts, homemaking, faith, natural living, frugality etc.

Keeping that in mind what do you think my all time most popular post is?

A Very Veggie Birthday?

Heart Art?

Oh Be Careful Little Mamas What You Pin?

Nope. Nothing about crafts or motherhood. Those are some of the runner ups, but the Messy Mom Blog post with the most views (by a landslide) is…

How We Put Hardwood Over Carpet

Yes. Hundreds of people come to this site everyday not to see cute pics of my kids or find out tips for natural birth. They have come to read about home improvement. The How to Install Hardwood Over Carpet does not only hold the record for all time hits, but on any given day it is usually the most viewed post even when I have something new that is somewhat of a hit.

I am not bitter about this at all, but I am a little jealous of my husband who I hope starts his own blog someday when he has time. Because even though I wrote that post, it’s really all him.

He is the mastermind behind it and not only do people want to know more about our flooring projects they want to know where or how to make the furniture that he comes up with! Like the coffee table that can slide under the entertainment center.

My Lots of Hope in a Little Home is definitely the most successful series I have ever published and a lot of it also has to do with J’s genius. He has a knack when it comes to taking something that looks kind of hopeless and turning into greatness. It’s okay for me to brag on the hubs for a bit right?

J has renovated a house, a coffee shop, an apartment (which were all temporary upgrades since it’s a rental. More on that later), and now he is working on getting us settled into another rental property. In order to get geared up for this next big undertaking I want to take some time to look back at some of the work he’s done and also reveal some of the outcomes of those home improvement projects. I know I am not a remodel blog, nor do I want to be, but it’s been a big part of our marriage up to this point and I do love to save money by reusing, reinventing, repurposing, and remodeling. So that’s what I plan to write about this week. I’ll be picking J’s brain and diving deeper into some of the messy details of just a few of our greatest Home Improvement projects. Stay tuned.

By Natalie|2015-07-27T00:40:06+00:00July 27, 2015|Frugal Living, My Life, Projects, Uncategorized|1 Comment

Free Signing Time Video

I have great news for you all today! Signing Time has a released a FREE Back to School Video Download. It’s hard to believe that one of the stars of the show (little Leah) is now going off to college in real life! She was 4 when they started the series and so this free download is in celebration of that wonderful milestone.

This video is perfect timing to prepare your little one for school while teaching 30+ signs as a bonus. I want to do everything I can to spread the word because I love Signing Time so much and if this video reaches 500,000 new families by October 1st then they will realease a second FREE download.

Downloads are great because sometimes you need that a quick movie available on your phone or tablet when you don’t have wifi access (like on an an airplane). Some of you moms of littles know what I’m talking about!

Just to give a short personal background story, the Signing Time series has been very instrumental to my family and will always hold a special place in my heart. Not only have they helped all three of my children to learn some of the foundations of ASL, but there was a season where I watched the videos over and over, pausing and rewinding parts until they stuck when SJ was first diagnosed deaf. My husband, my parents, and I would all gather around for our Signing Time lessons and we are adults! That was a big part of how I was able to final speak with my baby girl for the first time.

I won’t go into all the details but SJ wasn’t diagnosed until she was 2 and she didn’t get hearing aids until she was 2 1/2 and even then they didn’t help. It was a year before she began to hear via use of cochlear implants! So the first three years of her life sign language was how we communicated.

If you are interested in your child being exposed to sign language for any reason at all (and there are many benefits by the way) then this is a great time to check out Signing Time because the video download is absolutely free. There is no obligation to buy anything and it’s really fast and easy to get on your computer or other electronic device instantly.

Our family owns several Signing Time videos, we also have checked them out from the Library for ones we don’t own. We’ve seen Rachel and the gang on Nickelodeon and PBS as well as Netflix, but coinsidentally the school episode is one that is NOT on Netflix and we don’t own it. SCORE!

If I had to give one critique (it’s not really a critique at all, it’s just a personal difference). We use all the signs from Signing Time except for some of the finger spelling ones. For example there is a video where they teach the sign for “Toy” and they finger spell it “T-O-Y”. I own a signing dictionary and have local deaf friends that sign it the same as “play” but with the letter “T”. That doesn’t mean that finger spelling it is wrong AT ALL, I’m sure it’s more accurate to some degree. ASL is complex in that there are many different regional dialects and acceptable variations.

For SJ we used sign language as a practical bridge for communication and she still is not at a place where any fingerspelling has worked for her. So we are more likely to use what is called a “home sign” before we would learn a bunch of fingerspelling words. From what I understand this is not uncommon for young deaf children the same way hearing children have variations of words that they use before they are able to articulate. I mention all of this because the “Back to School Video” finger spells “Glue” and “Pen’.

Sorry, I’m rambling now, but I really do believe in this program and I’m thrilled to share this awesome deal with all of you. Again, the full length video is “Signing Time Back to School” and you can watch it instantly and download it to keep as your own. Just go to

www.signingtime.com/free-video

Oh, and don’t forget to share this special offer with all of your friends.

By Natalie|2015-07-24T11:57:02+00:00July 24, 2015|Babies & Toddlers, Frugal Living, Hearing Loss, Schooling, Special Needs|1 Comment

The Roll Over Car Accident

I just recently read the book “The Vow” by Kim and Krickitt Carpenter.

It’s a nonfiction book and there is a movie based off of the same story, but I wouldn’t bother with the movie because it’s NOTHING like the true story. The Carpenter’s story is such an amazing declaration or what love and commitment is really all about. The authors do not shy away from proclaiming the gospel page after page and their detailed account is incredible. The couple was married for just 2 months when they were in a tragic car accident that nearly killed them. Their lives were spared, but Kricket’s memory was not. She didn’t remember her husband at all and the rehabilitation and emotional challenges that followed were almost painful to read, but <spoiler alert> it has a happy ending.

This got me thinking about the time I was in a horrific car wreck.

Some of this will be a repost from what I shared 7 years ago, but I think the story bears repeating because not only is it a testimony of God’s provision, it is also a reminder to wear a seat belt and have infants properly restrained in a car seat while on the road.

It was March of 2008. I was in Kentucky with my 6 month old (Z) visiting family. It was time to head back home to Dallas where my husband was waiting for us. My mom drove us to the airport and while we were riding along on the highway going about 70 MPH the traffic ahead began to stop. My mom hit the brakes in order to avoid a collision and the car started to swerve, first to the left then to the right and we headed off road toward a ditch.

In that moment I honestly never thought I am going to die! I just saw the car vearing off road in the grass and thought Oh No, this is bad and by bad I just figured we would come to an abrupt stop and that we’d be late and miss our flight. Of course all these thoughts happened in a matter of seconds.

Next thing I knew the airbag and a bunch of dirt came towards me. Then I woke up just moments later with grass, glass, dirt, and debri everywhere. It was as if the car was a shovel digging up the earth. I didn’t immediately realized the severity of the wreck. All I could think about was my baby boy in the back seat. I literally screamed at the top of my lungs like you see in the movies “OH GOD! MY SON! SAVE MY BABY! JESUS CHRIST HE HAS TO BE OKAY! My window had been busted out so I jumped through it and ran to the back of the car screaming. I had completely LOST it.

I tried to get him out through the window, but the car seat was too heavy for me in my condition and the door was smashed shut. My mom got out and was able to reach him from her side. She immediately assured me that he was fine. She went from looking at my 6 months old who didn’t even seem phased to looking up at me from the other side of the car. Her face was an expression of shock and horror. With tears in her eyes she said “but Natalie you are not”. I had a nasty head injury. At that moment I felt light headed and collapsed on the ground and just wept. Once I knew my baby was fine the motherly adrenaline drained out of my system.
My mom brought the baby over to me so that I could hold him in my arms. Some people pulled over to help and were on the phone with emergency services. I didn’t even realize that the car had rolled over until I heard someone tell the paramedics. I had hit my head on the roof of the car and had a huge knot on the right side about the size of a baseball and was bleeding in several areas. We were all 3 rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. Everyone there reminded me over and over that my baby was okay and that did help me to calm down a lot, although I was still trembling. They did all the appropriate tests and in the end all of three of us were okay.

We got another flight and were back home several days later. I had to go to the chiropractor for a few months for neck issues, but other than that the only thing I came away with from the accident were scrapes, bruises, and a big chunk of missing hair that I guess had been sliced off by the broken glass. It looked funny when it grew back in because for a while it stuck up like alfalfa. I didn’t have a smart phone to take pictures and I didn’t blog back then, so lucky for you I won’t be sharing any gruesome photos. Although I do have this picture of my mom’s car which of course was totaled.

One thing I will never forget about that terrifying day was that the whole time I was strapped to that stretcher forced to stare at the ceiling with my neck brace on the worship song “He Loves Us” by John Marc McMillan was going through my mind.

He loves us, Oh how He loves us, Oh how He loves us… I felt those words flowing through me over and over bringing me peace in the midst of it all.

And I know that He does love us. He truly does.

By Natalie|2015-07-23T12:00:59+00:00July 23, 2015|My Life, Uncategorized|0 Comments

I Fell In Love and Married Too Young.

I was engaged 15 years ago (so I was barely 18) and I got married 3 months later.

Statistically speaking people married under the age of 25 are at a much higher risk for divorce. Low income families are too. Short engagements make your chances of success even lower.

We were all of the above and then some. Some would call our marriage a recipe for disaster, yet we’ve already beaten the odds just getting past the 10 year mark.

So how is it that we have a strong healthy marriage after 15 years even while undergoing so much struggle?

First of all it’s because we have a redeeming Savior that we rely on to get us through the hard times. “There but for the grace of God go I” is one of my all time favorite sayings.

I don’t want anything I say to be hurtful or judgmental. Marriage is SO COMPLICATED and each situation is completely different. We’ve seen many dear friends and family members walk through the pain and difficulty of seperation so I am not trying to sum up the key to marital success in under a thousand words.

What I do want to say is that I see a trend in our culture that I think is misleading. I call it the calculated marriage.

On average most people will spend a quarter of their life single. Then they spend a few years dating and being engaged to their spouse. At this point you would have MOST of your life ahead of you.

Here’s a terribly unscientific pie chart to explain what I mean.

What I see happening is that everyone (Christian or not) is putting ALL the emphasis on that tiny fraction of the pie that I have labeled courting (shown in orange).

Some suggest living together during courtship so that you really know what life is like. Others suggest a parent led courtship where the families are heavily involved. There are websites designed to match you up with your most compatible partner. I’ve seen advice that you should stay single longer, date longer, marry someone you’ve known for a long time, be financially stable, have a college degree, get plenty of counseling, own a pet first, marry someone who has never been divorced, or I saw an article shared on Facebook yesterday that talked about the stigma of having divorced parents.

The list goes on. Don’t get me wrong, there are important factors to consider, but I am going to make an unpopular claim and say that we are putting the emphasis in the wrong place.

I believe that the reason J and I (and the many many other couples I know in the same boat) have defied the odds is because we put the work in before we even met each other and then really got our elbows dirty after we sealed the deal. So we may have rushed through the “orange” phase, but you see all that green and yellow? We have invested a lot into those years and hopefully the years to come.

We were taught to believe that marriage takes work and divorce is not an option. We were working on our relationships with the Lord while we were single (and therefore working on what it takes to have a successful marriage). We have had to fight for our marriage especially in those first 5 years! I’m glad we had no way out in those dark moments because now I get to see all the wonderful things we would have missed!

Let me use an analogy. Let’s say there is a young woman that dreams of having a nice car some day. She carpools and rides the bus as she diligently saves up for her dream car. Her focus and motivation is getting the perfect car. She believes that if she does all the research and gets a car that has great gas milage, high safety ratings, a history of longevity, and luxurious amenities then she knows she will be happy.

The day comes that she finds the ONE. It’s perfect. She doesn’t rush in and buy it either. She finishes saving up and pays CASH! It sounds like the epitome of self discipline and responsibility.

The problem is, she goes to get the car without a drivers license! She assumed she would be able to learn to drive once she had a car to practice with.

To make matters worse she doesn’t keep up with the maintence on the car. The car she worked so hard to get is banged up and run down fast because she doesn’t know how to drive it or take care of issues when they arise. She was completely focused on the vehicle and her checklist, but put little thought into what it really means to drive or take ownership.

The point I am trying to make is that while the vehicle and the purchase is important it’s not even the most important part. Of course there are things you can do to make wise choices while you date or are engaged. For starters the Bible talks about being equally yoked and that’s HUGE, but it’s only a part of the equation. You have to learn about commitment and choose covenant everyday in every aspect of life. Then when you are married you implement what you’ve learned. You walk it out. It takes two and that’s the hard part, but it’s so rewarding.

There are some people that operate with caution by nature and if you want to get a license, save up for the perfect car, AND take good care of it too then that’s great. My concern is for those that think the calculated marriage is going to solve the divorce epidemic.

Marriage is a big decision that should not be taken lightly, but deep down I still stubbornly believe that some of the best things in life are uncalculated.