I feel like curated is a buzzword. All of a sudden I am hearing everything curated. I did a curated clothes swap last year. There are curated subscription boxes that are all the rage right now where they hand select the items you get. A website content curator is a professional that helps you sift through your website and see what is going to be the most effective content for your marketing strategies.
So you get the idea. It’s a filtering process. Everything we do usually goes through a filter and that’s not a bad thing. We need filters to clean our water and our air. We need filters to prevent us from saying hurtful things that we think about people sometimes. Except for curating, editing, censoring, and filtering often get a bad wrap because we crave seeing the authentic. That’s another buzzword: authentic. Everyone is tired of seeing fake, photoshopped, airbrushed images. We want the real and the raw. We want to be able to relate to what we see.
Two things popped up in my news feed recently that reminded me of this.
LONDON, ENGLAND – APRIL 23: Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge and Prince William, Duke of Cambridge depart the Lindo Wing with their newborn son at St Mary’s Hospital on April 23, 2018 in London, England. The Duchess safely delivered a son at 11:01 am, weighing 8lbs 7oz, who will be fifth in line to the throne. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
Chip and Joanna Gaines.
Kate Middleton walked out of her birthing unit looking like a princess hours after having an 8+ pound baby. Nevermind the fact that she is actually literal royalty. Some people felt sorry for her because she should be bonding with her baby and recovering, not wearing heels and a dainty dress. Some people felt sorry for themselves because they looked like crap after having a baby and stayed looking that way for the remainder of their child rearing years. I could probably identify with both camps on this one.
Then an article came out about Chip and Joanna Gaines and how they claim to put family first but they obviously do not put family first because they have their own royal empire in the home decor world. How could any couple with a 40 acre ranch, two best-selling books and a third one on the way, a quarterly magazine, an online store, a restaurant, an interior design company, a blog, an exclusive line of products for Target, a wallpaper line, and so much more still be able to spend quality time with their kids?
Chip took his rebuttal to Twitter with this response
I dont know daryl, & he clearly doesnt know me. But for the record: If there is ever a need w/ my family (1st), I'll shut this circus down so fast it will make your head spin. BUT jo & I believe, w/ God anything is possible. Including having an amazing family AND career you love. https://t.co/3DbWIIKMnh
— Chip Gaines (@chipgaines) April 28, 2018
I agree that with God all things are possible. I agree that they are the ultimate example of family-focused entrepreneurs. I also believe that they probably wonder if they are failing their children and if their work life and home life is balanced. I don’t think this because they have a bajillion irons in the fire. I think this because they are human! I struggle mom guilt and priorities and I am a stay at home mom!
I am guessing that if you had the unedited Gaines family you would still have a loving couple with adorable kids who all love Jesus and you would also have a whole lot of imperfections and struggles just like the rest of us. They probably talk about this in their books. I haven’t read them.
I only bring this up because as a small time blogger, or even just a girl on Facebook, I am selective of what I post online. I think it’s okay to show a curated life to a broad audience! On the one hand, I want to keep it real with a blog name like MESSY mom and blog post like the one where I had a nervous breakdown, but I don’t need to air out all my dirty laundry. I save that for the people I love most. I know that sounds funny but it’s true. I have intimacy with those that I am actually connected with.
The more intimacy we have with someone the more vulnerable and transparent we are to the point that in sexual intimacy we actually take off ALL the layers and are completely exposed. Intimacy doesn’t have to be sexual though. Intimacy can be sharing tears, or scars, or memories. Intimacy is a closeness and a connection that is always mutual. If it’s not mutual then it’s not intimacy.
The problem is that we have a false sense of intimacy in our culture today. From pornography to celebrity gossip we start to feel like we have access when we really don’t. It’s a one way street. It’s not mutual and it’s not intimacy. We only have access to the filtered edited production. Therefore we think we know that person on Instagram or that family on TV and we think they are perfect and we live inferior lives that will never measure up. Or we think we can defend or criticize them as if we really know who they are what they should and shouldn’t share.
No matter what your opinions are about these celebrities let’s just remember we are only seeing the curated version of their lives. I don’t know anyone that is intimate with Kate Middleton or Chip and Joanna Gaines except maybe some of my Texas friends who claim to be because they saw them at their cousin’s baby dedication back in 2001, but let’s be honest.
If you are craving something real and authentic try turning to people you can actually connect with in real life and don’t worry about that celebrity or social media mumbo jumbo. I can assure you the real life connections are a thousand times better anyway.