How to Prepare for Cochlear Implant Surgery

SJ just made it through her 2nd Cochlear Implant surgery. The Doctors said it couldn’t have gone any better and all is well. I am actually at the hospital right now and since I am just waiting for them to finish up, I thought this would be a good time to share my CI surgery tips. I have always wanted to share these suggestions on the blog in hopes that it could be helpful insight for parents of children undergoing the CI surgery or a similar procedure.

1. Preregister for the surgery ahead of time

2. Make sure your child is bathed in preparation for surgery. It will be at least 48 before they can bathe again and even longer for washing hair.

3. Allow your child to stay up late and eat late since they will not be able to eat the next day and will be sleeping most of the day as well. Try high protein, high fiber foods to help them feel full longer. Make sure all food is hidden and definitely out of reach in the morning so there aren’t any sneaky snack mishaps. You may also want to eat before your child wakes up so that you are energized without having to eat in front of them.

4. Arrange someone to help out with siblings so that they do not get too bored or interrupt during critical moments at the hospital.

5. Have directions and itinerary for anyone you plan on coming to the hospital.

6. Bring snacks and reading material to have with you while waiting. You may know ahead of time that you are staying overnight, but even if you are told it’s outpatient that could change, so plan accordingly.

  

7. Dress your child comfortably and bring a couple changes of clothes. Choose shirts or pajamas that button up so that you don’t have to pull anything on over the”turban” and sensitive incision area.


SJ after getting the medicine to sedate her. She was in a happy place.

8. Bring small books or toys for child to have during waiting time which could end up being a while. They can also make great distractions while they check blood pressure, heat rate etc. 
(The doll was for her, the snack was for me)

9. After surgery have the nurses bandage up a doll or stuffed animal. You might also want to bring a familiar blanket or pillow case and a small photo album of loved ones to help comfort your little one.

 

10. During the time that the bandage stays on have plenty of hands on activities to change up frequently to keep your child from trying to pick at the headdress.

I have heard this referred to as a “sunshine basket” which might include stickers, puzzles, bubbles, you name it. They can be inexpensive and simple. The trick is to spread it out a little at a time. For example don’t give them a box of fun things, just give them one glow stick. Instead of a giant coloring book just give them one page to color, or cut out a couple stickers to peel off instead of the whole sheet. Otherwise it will all become boring and ineffective far too soon.

Obviously you know your child as an individual and your Doctor and surgical facility will be the best resource for how to prepare. These are just a few of things that helped me and SJ through both surgeries and I wanted to get it all documented while it is fresh on my mind.

On another note SJ should be coming out of the operating room any minute now and we’ll be staying at the hospital over night. I will be sure to update everyone on her progress, but so far everything is great. Thank you for your prayers and support!

By |2023-06-12T06:30:34+00:00February 14, 2013|Cochlear Implants, Uncategorized|7 Comments

Home Away From Homeschool

Yesterday I talked about redshirting and one of the articles that I read on the topic asked this question

1. First and foremost, you must answer this: If you hold your child back, what will he do during this time of rapid growth and learning? You cannot redshirt the brain. If not formal kindergarten, what do you intend to do for him that will inspire, excite, and motivate him during this time of rapid growth and learning?

 

That’s a great question. Since we have to hang out at SJ’s school all day long I want to do all I can to implement a homeschool curriculum of our own. I just so happen to be buddy buddy with some of what I consider to be the best homeschooling moms around. Naturally I hit up these resources for a little advice. I asked three different moms a series of homeschooling questions. They have 13 boys between them and each of them have been home schooled. First of all out of the three moms that I emailed none of them typed an answer back. They did even better, one wanted to answer my questions via phone conversation, another through Skype, and the other one is local so we talked in person. It just goes to show how the teacher in each of them that wanted to be thorough about helping me learn. Ah, I love it!
The exciting thing about Z’s age (5 1/2) and homeschooling is that it’s not about flash cards and drills, but rather fostering the curiosity that is already there and doing it in a relaxed way. Focusing on activities like cooking, gardening, or nature walks. Some of the best advice I’ve heard was to ‘Read, play, go places and talk the whole time you are doing it’. Read out loud while nursing the baby. Read the same book 5 times and talk about a different subject each day that you read it. Have books in the car for that hour long drive. Everyday you read to him and he reads to you. What was the underlying theme I was hearing over and over from multiple people? READ!
That’s what I’ve learned from the experts. Now all that’s left to do is implement it.  My plan is spend the 7 hours we have to kill each day by dividing it between games, puzzles, movies, books, quiet time, play dates, active playtime and there will even be a little bit of formal teaching thrown in there each day.
I’ve enjoyed this opportunity to learn about homeschool curriculums and ideas. Even though I plan on putting our children in public schools eventually, I hope that I will always have a hands on active roll in my children’s educations. I look forward to the days ahead with all there is to learn together and teach each other.
By |2015-05-25T23:17:18+00:00February 10, 2013|Schooling, Uncategorized|3 Comments

I Don’t Care What Color His Shirt Is

Will he be mature enough for kindergarten? Is it better to be the oldest or youngest? Will he be challenged enough? Is 17 too young to be thrown into to the “real world”? These are just some of the questions that rattle around in my head when I think of Z starting school. I’ve mentioned it on this blog three times already, but I’ll say it again. In Texas Z would have started Kindergarten next year and by Kentucky guidelines it should have been this year, but we held him back. He’s right on the bubble for the cut off date. Even though I know it is not true, I feel like the fate of his future rests on my decision. That’s a lot of pressure! I change my mind about this matter more than a driver with road rage changes lanes.

They actually call it “redshirting” when you hold your child back from starting kindergarten on time. I’ve recently read some articles about it and it can be pretty controversial. Some parents use it as a way to give their child an advantage in sports or an extra year of maturity for a competitive edge academically. Apparently I have become part of the 10% of American’s that are redshirting their children. We fit the statistic since it’s most commonly seen among white boys from the suburbs with late summer birthdays. J and I both have summer birthdays, but I went to Kindergarten twice so I know what it’s like to be the oldest in the class and J knows the feeling of being the youngest. There are some studies surfacing that show that it doesn’t help the student to have an extra year and in some cases may even hinder a student’s success. Then there is other evidence that supports the contrary.

I am not setting out to make my son an academic and certainly not athletic powerhouse by holding him back a year. Maybe if it were the Hunger games, but fortunately it’s not.  Waiting an extra year just happened to work out for our situation. I don’t care if his shirt is red, blue, or fuchsia (okay, maybe he would look a little weird in fuchsia). From what I’ve researched and what his teachers have told me Z is 100% ready for Kindergarten.
 
So for now we are working on retaining what he has learned and preventing boredom. I’ve gotten some helpful information from some of my homeschooling mom friends and I will share some of that in my next blog post. This whole ordeal is stretching me, but in a good way. To be continued…

By |2015-05-25T23:18:09+00:00February 8, 2013|Schooling, Uncategorized|4 Comments

About That Behavior Thing

In my mini meltdown that was recently documented on this blog I referenced some behavioral issues we were dealing with. I know we just moved. Our schedules, schools, and environment have all changed and I can expect some set backs and back lashes from the kids, but I still don’t like it. Seriously, they are all 3 amazing and we actually have so many special and wonderful times together. I am really proud of each one of them, but then there are the other times! 

One of my best friends posted this the other day and I was actually downright convicted by it. 

Then as I was writing this I went to look up an article I found recently on how to raise a strong willed child and I think it is no coincidence that I came across this reminder instead

“God has given us the exact children in the exact birth order with the exact personalities not merely so that we can raise them but in order for them to be His tools in our lives to grow us up into the women He has created us to be. He gave us that strong willed toddler, that child we just don’t “’get,” that one with disabilities. Every child is a gift from God and He will use each one in our lives for good if we let Him. It’s helpful to ask, “God, what are you teaching me through this special child of mine?” God is full of mercy and full of grace. And He is always faithful.”

-Susan Yates

I just happened to see it in my online search and it speaks volumes to me! It actually made me cry, which is what I do these days. Thank you Lord for teaching me.

By |2015-05-14T23:15:38+00:00February 4, 2013|Uncategorized|3 Comments

Jenga

Jenga! Have you ever played this game? You’ve got a stack of rectangular blocks and you take turns trying to remove a block from the stack and balance it on top without having it fall over. 
That is what my life feels like right now.

We just finished our first full week of this new routine. We live in Northern Kentucky now and travel 45 minutes north for SJ’s school in Ohio 5 days a week. We also have appointments in Louisville that we have to travel an hour south for. I think I am starting to get a grasp on how to get around this area. I’ve also managed to get the kids to bed and out the door on time everyday. All things considered it’s been an extremely smooth transition, but there have been days I’ve feel like I’m done. It’s my turn and every block I reach for is the one that will send the Jenga tower tumbling to the ground.

I’m trying to remember to take it a day at a time. I’ll admit though, I am exhausted. I feel it when I’ve made my 3rd lap around the new Kroger trying to figure out where the throat coat tea is located. Or when one more person mentions how I have my hands full and I tell myself not to scowl because they don’t realize that I’ve been told that by three other people that day. And sometimes I just cry or I take it out on my poor husband. I get depressed and want to quit. I feel selfish even admitting this. Yeah we have a lot on our plate, but we have so much to be thankful for. I think I am just in transition shock right now.

There have been some really challenging fights I’ve faced lately with bills and red tape  and children’s behavior issues. There are times I have wanted to get online and emotionally vomit all over my blog. I know that analogy is really appealing, and goes to show how grateful I am that I have used some restraint. However, I think it’s good to be a bit transparent from time to time. I am admitting that I am overwhelmed. I am confident that the Lord is faithful as always and we will get through this season. I need to read over the verses that everyone submitted because this is exactly why I asked for them and they are so good. Like this one Amy sent really applies to all I am feeling right now!  “When anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.” (Psalm 94:19)

So for all of the mom’s out there that wonder how other moms have it all together and take on all of life’s hurdles without breaking a sweat, don’t worry, I for one am a big sweaty mess.  

By |2015-05-14T23:15:38+00:00February 3, 2013|Uncategorized|5 Comments

Teeth In Teeth Out

Baby Ezie got his first two teeth this month. I think it’s quite a coinsidence that the boys are 5 years (and 27 days) apart and Z lost his first two teeth a month before E got his first two teeth in, and of course it’s the same bottom two. So now both boys have the same two teeth growing in. I am going to go ahead and say my prediction, which is that E will loose those teeth exactly 5 years from now.

I don’t have any photos of the teeth, but I did manage to do his 3 month photo shoot and even though he wasn’t charming my camera to pieces I still managed to get this adorable shot of him as his usual laid back self.

His latest milestone is the whole hand fascination stage. He just loves to lock his fingers together, open and close his fists, and zero in on his hands with the intensity of a antique appraiser.

And no, the camera does not add pounds, he really is that chunky. He was 16 pounds last time he was weighed and that was a few weeks ago so who knows how much he is now. He has just about outgrown all of his 3-6 month clothes. In fact here is a picture of me on my 30th birthday with a onesie I got for him in NYC.

 I did pictures of all of the kids in their I heart NY shirts and I couldn’t button Es because he was too long!

It’s amazing how much changed in the 6 months between these two photos.  Just think what he’ll be like in another 6 months! No actually, let’s not think about that. It will be here way too soon.

By |2015-05-14T23:15:38+00:00January 30, 2013|Uncategorized|3 Comments

The Ancient Rift

The first meme is from The Beardly,  the second one is from the Bearded Gospel Men, and that last one is Brian Haitz’s groom cake.
As much as I love beard humor and Brian does have a great beard I am actually here to talk about his music. Brian’s solo project, The Ancient Rift, has a new album and it’s available now on iTunes
His Facebook describes his music as “primarily acoustic guitar driven, with deep, heartfelt lyrics that muse over life, love, tragedy, and joy. It’s the kind of music that speaks deeply and heals deeply”  The tunes are soothing, honest, and uplifting. They also remind me some of one of my all time favorite artists Jon Foreman. The album was recorded at Iron Wings Studios with none other than Brandon Weaver (my brother) shown below playing the upright bass with Brian on drums.

The truth is Brian would probably still sound great with or without the beard, but I’m pretty sure that when you hear his music you will be thinking this sounds like a guy with a really fantastic beard. Go get the album and find out for yourself. 

By |2015-05-14T23:15:38+00:00January 27, 2013|Uncategorized|4 Comments

What I learned from Preschool

I’ve been thrown into the world of preschool all at once this year.

In the past 6 months I have learned a lot about being a mother to preschoolers.

First of all, I have learned it is kind of a pain to have back up clothes available. Every preschool wants you to have a change of clothes for your kiddo in case they wet their pants, throw up, or spill milk all over themselves (I know about two out three of these from experience). It’s not really that big of a deal, but for someone as thrifty and disinterested in laundry as I am it’s a little painful knowing that a whole set of “seasonably appropriate” clothing are inaccessibly stored away in a cubby at school.

I have also learned not get too creative when it comes to bringing class goodies. Have you heard of Pinstrosity? It’s a blog that features Pinterest projects gone wrong. I laugh and cry and relate to so much of the subject matter on that site and I have always wanted to submit Z’s birthday cupcakes. The idea was to make cupcakes that looked like Super Mario mushrooms.

The results were… uh… less than ideal.

 

There were no cupcakes at his school that day, but I think I learned my lesson.

The biggest, most unexpected thing that I’ve learned from these preschool days is dealing with the impact my children’s teachers (or therapists)  have had not only on Z and SJ, but on me. It’s been an emotional time of goodbyes for our family. Both schools sent my kids off with special treats, gifts, and most importantly words of empowerment encouraging them as they walked out the doors of the school and onward into their bright futures.

I feel blessed beyond words to have had the opportunity to meet some of these wonderful, beautiful ladies that worked with both of my children. To steal words from the letter I wrote to SJ’s therapist they have been and will always be such an important part of our lives even though our time together may have been brief. 

Moving in the middle of the school year like this has been really difficult for me, but God placed the right teachers in our path once I know he can do it again. And while I am on the subject I would like to extend this thank you to all the teachers out there that commit their time, energy, and love to our children. You probably don’t even know what a difference you make in the world. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

By |2015-05-14T23:15:38+00:00January 25, 2013|Uncategorized|6 Comments

Miscellany Monday

miscellany monday at lowercase letters

I hope you are prepared to receive some Messy Mom randomness, because I am ready to deliver.

Speaking of being ready to deliver. I keep on getting this ad for a birth center in the corner of my Facebook and I always think that it’s a picture of me and it takes me by surprise.

                                                                

 Sorry it’s small. That’s the size it is in my sidebar on Facebook.

                                      
                                                                         This is one of my pictures from E’s birth.

It is not me and it’s DEFINITELY not my husband, but aren’t the similarities funny?

Moving on. I just finished a book called Love Does. It’s light hearted, funny, and inspiring. Two thumbs up.

Last week was one Doctor’s appointment after the other including a trip to the opthamologist. First Z hopped in the chair and leaned his head forward to look through the “binoculars” then it was SJ’s turn and Z said “she can’t do it because she is only two”. The Doctor said “well let’s just give her a shot shall we?” and Z replied very matter of fact “No. She doesn’t like shots. She will cry” The doctor rephrased the statement and gave SJ a chance in the chair although in the end Z was right, she did not cooperate.

I thought I was going to have to get my eyes checked a few months ago when I was seeing all kinds of light patterns in the night. I was seriously concerned that it might be a brain tumor or something because it was like I was hallucinating. I would wake up in the night and see light coming from the bed even though there were no lights on. I asked J about it and his theory was a car driving by and its headlights shining through the window. That seemed unlikely, but then one night we were in bed and J said “man this blanket is full of electricity!” When I asked him what he meant he described the visible sparks coming from blanket. OHHH! That’s what that is! I have never experience static at night I guess. Have you ever seen it? It looks CRAZY, but at least now after J’s explanation and a brief google search I know that I am not!

This weekend we moved. We are now an hour closer to the Cincinnati area. Even though we still have a lot of loose ends to tie up in Louisville we brought our beds and most of our personal belongings to my brother’s house.
                                           
The kids were excited to get the place set up. After each project they accomplished they would high five.

SJ starts school in a week and that means we will have to start getting up by 6:00 am. You probably won’t believe this, but all of us (including the kids) are used to more of a 10:00 am start half the time. On Facebook I asked for tips on how to get up early on weekdays and I got some great responses.

What about you? How do you manage your schedule in the mornings? If you have any tricks to getting on your feet and out the door on time please let me know! 

By |2015-05-14T23:15:38+00:00January 21, 2013|Uncategorized|4 Comments

Our Decision To Implant

 Little did I know that by having a deaf daughter I would be thrown into a controversial cultural land mine. I love watching the show Switched at Birth on ABC Family because I get my ASL fix. In the latest episode the character Bay starts going to a Deaf school. In this scene she is with her deaf friend so it looks like everything is hunky dory, but she ends up being an outcast as a hearing person in deaf school.
  
The next show focuses even more on her being bullied. The show does a great job of portraying the ongoing struggle between the deaf and hearing world. The premise of the show however is about how we can all come together and be a family embracing the differences. 
I’ve actually gotten emails from some people in the deaf community that told me I would be making the wrong decision to give SJ a cochlear implant. Days after she was implanted a deaf friend saw my status updates about her surgery on Facebook and said

 “I hope she will be happy with her CI… I hope that is what she wants instead of a decision you are forcing on her… I will be there for her if she needs me..” 

Yeah, my two year old daughter who cannot communicate is recovering from a serious surgery and I get this message. That was almost 3 months ago and here we are ready to give her a second one. I would like to use my blog as a platform to address the reason why. There are a lot of reasons and I have shared them on this blog before, but I’d like to share with you a letter that keeps it all in perspective for me.

In April we first found out for the first time that there was even a remote possibility that SJ might be deaf. That month we took a trip to Texas because I was photographing a wedding. It just so happens that while I was visiting my inlaw’s church there was a women signing during worship. God has a way with “just so happens”  doesn’t he? I spoke with this women who is fluent in ASL and teaches sign language full time. We chatted and exchanged contact info. After reading my blog and keeping up with me on Facebook she sent me this message. I asked her for permission to share her words because it has been a lifeline for me throughout the ups and downs and I think there may be other parents in my situation that would benefit from her wisdom as well. This is what she sent (emphasis added)- 

I just read the update on your blog and I want to tell you I’m so proud of how well you are adjusting to all of this. I know it’s incredibly overwhelming – all the tests, information, opinions, and decisions can seem like a whirlwind when you’re trying to make the best decisions and time is of the essence. 
I just want to encourage you in trusting yourself and God to know what to do. 
He is leading you to the people you need to help you through this transition. You have a perfect, beautiful, amazing little girl and God has incredible plans for her! I have been & will continue to pray for you & your family. You are doing everything right and Sedona is so blessed to have you as a mom! It sounds like she is a perfect candidate for the CI and is still so young where the success rate is amazing. 
Continue to teach her sign, help her learn to speak & read lips, teach her in whatever method is best for her and for your family, but above all celebrate her as an amazing child unique and special as I know you do everyday. Don’t listen to the extremists who might try to tell you there is one right way to raise a happy & successful deaf child.
She is going to flourish and do great things. Give her every opportunity you can, in whatever way that seems right for her. Allow her to embrace her deafness as part of who she is and not see it as a defect that needs to be “cured”. Even people who gain perfect speech and “hearing” with a cochlear implant are still deaf. I know you all have a big journey ahead with lots of changes and adapting to do but Sedona is going to do awesome! I know a lot of deaf people, oral, signing, intelligible speech, no speech, ASL users, and signed exact English users, young, old and inbetween and they are all happy and well adjusted people. Deafness is a part of her but it doesn’t define who she is.
Thanks for posting about your personal experiences. You have a great support system and a lot of prayer on your side.
As the big steps and challenges come, don’t let them weigh you down. Celebrate the simple things and trust God to get you through the hurdles.
Lots of prayers! Keep us posted!
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