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My Accidental 5K and Other Recent Randoms

There are several recent happenings that you may be aware of if you follow “messymom” on instagram, but even then there is more to the story then one little square photo with a short caption. Let’s start with the 5K. SJ’s school participates in the Flying Pig Marathon in Cincinnati every year. Many runners raise funds in support of the school and I volunteered to work a booth the day the races began. Traffic was terrible. All the roads were shut down for the run. This Flying Pig thing is a BIG deal. Think Boston Marathon, only Cincinnati. So J dropped me off as close as he could and I called to figure out how SJ and I could make it to the booth on foot. It sounded like we weren’t far and I was told that they were set up near the finish line. Easy enough. I started following the hundreds of people that were running because I knew they certainly couldn’t be headed anywhere other than the finish line.

 The further we went the more I wondered how far into this run I had begun. A half an hour of walking alongside the masses, much of the time carrying my 4 year old, I started to get fatigued and was almost ready to give up. I saw a police officer across the street so I did my best to cut through the thick crowd of runners to get to the other side. I arrived panting and asked the officer if he knew where the finish line was. He unfolded his little map and asked for the fastest route. He looked up at me and I quickly explained myself. I am not in the race. I said defensively. I wasn’t supposed to be! I am just looking for one of the booths and well… He laughed and pointed to where I needed to go and eventually we found it. I don’t know how far we walked, I even stopped to sit down for a bit at one point. As someone who hasn’t trained for this kind of event I can tell you I was sore the next day. It was a successful day nonetheless.

The next weekend was Mother’s Day.

Z brought home the customary fill in the blank book about mom. It was really sweet. He literally had me tearing up, but one part did catch me off guard. For the “things that mom likes to do” question he wrote watch TV.

I am not try to be all defensive about it, it’s just that I watch TV less than anyone I know. I am all about down time, believe me, but I tend to veg out with my smart phone or computer, not television or movies. At the end of the book it said “My mom and I like to _________ together” and again the answer was watch TV.  So I asked him why he said that when it’s not what I like to do and he said it is what he dreams that we would do. Apparently his dream mom is ALL about TV. I get that, but I make no apologies. He also said my favorite food was hot dog. Another thing his dream mom is probably into. Anyway, it was a lovely book, I will try not over analyze it. So when picking out clothes for Sunday morning I came across a “Team Mommy” shirt that Ezie has and then I realized SJ has an “Awesome Like Mommy” tee. Both shirts were birthday gifts by the way. I thought they would be cute for mother’s day, but I didn’t want Z to feel left out. That’s when we came up with the idea to modify his I love Paris shirt.

It was a collaborate effort and it made this mother’s day extra special.

Then last week Z had his first ever field trip.

I got to chaperon and we had a lot of fun. We went to a farm and our 79 year old farmer guide was a hoot! She had more spunk then probably the whole group of overly anxious 30 something chaperons that I was a part of. At one point she was demonstrating how to milk a goat and squirted some of the creamy goodness right into her mouth.

No disclaimer about don’t try this at home/pasteurization safety speech! I know some of you are supremely grossed out right now, but that’s my kind of granny! The whole trip was informative and very interactive.

Not only did we get to milk an animal, but we also fed them, brushed them, and collected some eggs.

Oh yeah, and at one point I had a chick on my head. I miss farming and it is my dream to have a small farm one day. In due time friends.

Lastly we went to a park as we often do to get the kids some fresh air and room to run.

One particular park tends to have a lot of Hispanics, which is cool. Z and I are trying to learn Spanish. That night I noticed two little girls mixed in with the bunch who were not speaking English, but it wasn’t Spanish either. Their mom had a head covering so that was a clue right there. I decided I would just walk straight up to the parents and ask what language they spoke (hoping they could understand me enough to respond). Because the funny thing is when I am talking to someone who doesn’t speak much english I tend to sign out of habit. I forget that although gestures maybe universal most signs look like complete gibberish to a person that doesn’t know them. Anyway, the figured out what I was asking and it turns out they spoke Arabic. They were a really friendly family and they even asked to take a picture of Ezie and I with their daughter. I obliged and thought I’d get some pics of my own.

What made this evening so memorable, besides how gorgeous the sunset was,

is that out of the small group of families that were there the children were speaking Arabic, Spanish, English, and Sign Language.

 And they all played together as if there was no language barrier at all. Another beautiful example of how our differences do not have to keep us from reaching out. It was very cool.

I’ve rambled enough, but I just wanted to catch up on some of the past months highlights. Because sometimes even the memorable memories can fade.

I will stop now though before I break into the 1980’s contemporary Christian hit Love In Any Language by Sandi Patti. “Once we learn to speak it, all the world will hear. Love in any language, fluently spoken here…” Ahhh!!!

By |2015-05-14T23:15:31+00:00May 18, 2014|Uncategorized|1 Comment
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Black & White Baby

A quick update about the littlest member of our familia who is now 19 months old. Ezie is 24 pounds and in 18 months clothes, which puts him right about average. He talks a lot more. He says all of our names now and does a lot of two word combinations like “oh no” “go bye-bye” “fall down” “apple juice”. He likes to sing “Let It Go”. My favorite story to tell is how SJ frequently tattles on her brother. She cries, screams, and yells “Z HIT ME!”. Ezie heard this so often that he started to assume it was what you say when you are hurt or upset. He says it every time he cries. Z could be at school and Ezie would walk into a chair and say “Z hit me!” and it’s with the exact same inflection that SJ says it. Cracks me up. 
The biggest thing we’ve been facing at this stage is skin problems. Ezie has had the WORST case of eczema and I won’t go into detail on this post because it’s a long story, a 4 month story actually, but suffice it to say that he got a prescription cream and it finally cleared up. The best part is no more scratching and flaking, but it was also nice that I could do photos of him without the massive rash covering his face and arms. I’ll probably share more later, but for now here are the black and whites from Ezie’s 18 month photo shoot. I did a few brief photos with the trapper hat…
But the majority of the session was Newsies inspired. 

Maybe I’ve been watching too much call the midwife, but I absolutely love the vintage look of these! He’s such a cutie!

By |2015-05-14T23:15:31+00:00May 14, 2014|Uncategorized|2 Comments
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Summer VS Me

I feel like this particular topic would be best expressed through pictures. I call this series of selfies “Messy Mom Faces the End of the School Year”

This is when it occurred to me that out of nowhere the school year happened and it’s about to be over.

 

This is when I got all excited about the idea of no more pencils, no more books, no more teachers dirty looks. HEY HEY! Just kidding. Both of my kids have awesome teachers. It’s more like no more deadlines, no more worry, no more everything done in a hurry.

 

This is after the excitement wore off and I started to think about how many days I would have with all three children. all day long. in our teensy weensy apartment. with no. back. yard.

 

And this probably doesn’t need a caption.

There are pros and cons to summer and I probably don’t even know half of them since I am a newbie to all of this.  I will say that some relief comes knowing that school is almost out. In fact I feel like I am dragging myself across the finish line. I brought SJ to school an hour late today because I overslept. Not only has SJ been late, but I have missed the bus twice this week with Z! They’ve gone to school without back packs or lunch boxes. I feel like the “worst end of school year mom ever”. I can’t wait for school to be over! Or can I?

Maybe I am like Olaf the snowman from Frozen.

I am singing and dreaming about summer without having a full understanding of what I am up against. I love my family. I like having my kids around, but our current situation with the lack of space and noise complaints and all that makes things a little tricky. I’ve got a plan though, and that is to make a plan. I have 23 days to prepare. This summer is going to run like a well oiled machine I tell you.

I am not going to sit back and let the carefree warm days of summer run me over. NO! I will face it head on with military force AND IT WILL BE FUN. So there.

By |2016-05-06T13:12:14+00:00May 7, 2014|Uncategorized|3 Comments
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More Than Words Can Say

*This was originally written over a year ago. Sometimes I just need to write even if I keep it to myself, but today, on the 2nd anniversary of her diagnosis, I am ready to share.*

In the world of hearing loss I feel like the label “Late Identified” is a big red stamp across my daughter’s forehead. These days most deaf children are diagnosed through a brief newborn hearing screening before they even leave the hospital. Since SJ wasn’t born at the hospital we never had any testing done until she was over two years old. 

SJ at two years old, a month after she was diagnosed.

SJ’s birth was perfect. It was hands down one of the most amazing, beautiful, and spiritual moments of my life, but if I could change the past then I would have had a screening test done after the home birth.


The first seconds of SJ’s life!

 As with any treatment plan, like with cancer or autism, the earlier you can diagnose and intervene, the better. There are so many benefits to getting started at a young age when it comes to language, and we lost two years of valuable time. However, having those years of not knowing did have some benefits. 

When I blogged for the first time about SJ’s hearing, Amanda (from Oh Amanda) left me a link to a woman she called her hero. That woman was Rachel Coleman of Signing Time. I read her story, got several of her videos, and she soon became my hero as well. Her daughter Leah was also late identified because the hospital had taken a break from newborn screenings for a brief time before they became mandatory and that was when Leah was born. Here is what Rachel said about her daughter being late identified.

 “Was it meant to be? I don’t know. I wonder how over-protective and lame I would have been if they had handed me my newborn baby and said, by the way she’s profoundly deaf. Looking back I can see the blessing it was that we got to know Leah for her first year with the complete expectation that she could do anything, she was limitless. When we did hear her diagnosis “severe to profound hearing impairment” when she was 14 months old, we mourned. We cried. We felt silly. We couldn’t believe it. We thought there was a mistake. We hoped it would go away. We felt all of that and more at once! Finally we looked at Leah and she was still her happy beautiful self. And we recognized that for Leah nothing had changed. Nothing was wrong.”

Boy do I relate to that! When we first came to SJ’s school, one of the advisers had commended me on how well I’ve done at communicating with SJ despite her hearing loss. She told me that many parents have a hard time just talking with their deaf children and unknowingly tend to turn their conversation toward someone that is listening to them. I’d like to take credit for being so loving, but I didn’t know she was deaf.

 Another therapist was astounded by SJ’s cognitive abilities and said she had never worked with a deaf child potty trained at such a young age. I’d like to take credit for that too, but once again I didn’t realize I was potty training a deaf child (and besides that she initiated it). For over two years I treated her like any other baby/toddler. We didn’t fret. We weren’t trying to protect her. We weren’t taking action. We just loved her as she was, and in the mean time she loved us back and proved to be a very capable, thriving, joyous little lady. 

I know now more than ever how vital communication and language is. However, in those years we “lost” by not starting therapy or using hearing devices we also gained a lot and I learned a valuable lesson. She understood me. She may not have understood my words, but our love transcended all of that. Our hearts spoke to one another. I have always told my kids that I love them more than words can say and for SJ I’ve lived that truth. 

By |2015-05-18T05:19:43+00:00May 5, 2014|Hearing Loss, Motherhood, My Life, Special Needs, Uncategorized|10 Comments
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The Easter That Happened A Week And A Half Ago

I know Easter Sunday is old news now that it’s officially May and all, but it really was a beautiful weekend and I don’t want to miss the opportunity to share about it. Plus I have a couple of other updates to sneak in along with it.

Before Easter even happened the kids got to participate in some egg hunts. I didn’t want to spend money on baskets, and plastic bags tend to rip easily so I opted for cloth sacks. I just happened to have some that were the perfect size for the kids. The funny thing about it was that Z and SJ’s bags were from Urban Outfitters and Ezie had a Tom’s bag. Can we say ‘hipster easter’?

I did a quiz online once that was supposed to say what kind of mom you are (don’t ask me why). I got hipster mom. I’m really not. Compared to a real hipster I am probably suburban nerd mom, but sometimes, like for this egg hunt, or when Z includes a print out of an instagram in his homework,

 that’s when I see little glimpses of the validity of that quiz.

Back to Easter. The Saturday before, we spent the night in a hotel because J has been filling in as an interim worship leader at a church in Indiana. The kids enjoyed the indoor pool. I froze, but it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make to see happy children.

By the way, the caption on this instagram was “Sedona’s suspected growth spurt was confirmed today when she was tall enough to get into the Ikea play area for the first time!”

Easter morning was spent at River Valley Community church with J leading the congregation in song. Besides J’s temporary involvement I have further connection with the church through the work that my brother did painting the children’s room.

  

It is a 50 foot mural representing the nations of the earth. It turned out truly spectacular and he did an amazing job. 

I know Easter outfits can be kind of a thing so I picked out a special floral dress from the Gap outlet with the Easter service specifically in mind. Granted that was three years ago, but it did happen. I posted a collage online voluntarily exposing my fashion faux pas.

 The first year I wore the dress I was pregnant with Ezie, had super long hair, and was living with my parents.

 The next year I had really short hair, a 6 month old and we were living with my brother.

 This year my hair is growing out, Ezie is a walking talking 18 month old, and we live in an apartment in Ohio.

My caption was that so many things have changed over the past 3 years. What hasn’t changed is my dress!

 As far as the children’s attire the boys had matching shirts that their Aunt got them for Christmas last year

and SJ’s dress was from my mom.

 They all looked adorable.

Anyway, after church we met up with my family at a park in Kentucky. The kids got books, chalk, bubbles and kites as part of their Easter presents from the grandparents. I love that this year the sweets were at a minimum and in it’s place were educational or classic toys.

The weather was perfect. The company was too. It was a wonderful way to celebrate such  a joyous day. Christ is risen!

By |2015-05-14T23:15:31+00:00May 1, 2014|Uncategorized|1 Comment
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Yard Sale Season!

It’s finally Spring. Flowers are blooming, kites are flying, and the blue skies are smiling. Not to mention one of my favorite signs of the season, the poster board signs that are popping up all over the place directing me to all of the hidden treasures that await. I am talking about the plethora of yard sales. I had no idea that I lived in the heart of yard sale central, but there have already been some serious “saling” weekends and I am sure there are more to come. 
I have to be careful when I hit up these community events, because I love a good deal, but lets face it, I don’t exactly have a place to put anything other than the essentials. However, the kids are always growing out of their clothes and there are other items I am on the look out. I just try to use restraint as I pass over all the unnecessary temptations. 
I landed some awesome deals on some clothes for SJ today, but what I really want to show off is this bundle of goodness I picked up a couple weeks ago. 
I purchased over $200 worth of loot for TEN smackeroos.  I was so excited. We really wanted a Brita water filter because we buy a lot of bottle water, so I was thrilled to find one with two filters for $2 total. I also got a swim suit for Ezie for $1 and a cool little storage caddy for two bucks that can fold up all these different ways. I love it and it was brand new. 
Then my two favorites- a new winter coat for Z that is like 3 coats in one. 
It was the perfect size, like it was placed in my path divinely. 
Z had the same coat for 3 years, which isn’t a problem. I was thrilled that it fit him that long, but we knew he would need a new one next winter. He loves this trendy ZeroXposure ski coat, which is just like the ones his friends at school have.
 Yay! 

 Then we found a wooden baby gate for a dollar!

We desperately needed a gate to keep the kids out of the office area where there is no door. They had previously broken the two cheap ones we had before, and we knew it was time to invest in one that actually opened and closed. When we found this one for a buck we didn’t even care that it needed a little work. You know J, he tweaked it and he had it functioning perfectly in no time. It really has been a huge blessing to us!

Also, this isn’t about yard sales, but I scored big on some brand name shoes for the kids that I found at the thrift store. 
Z has a pair of Keens are PERFECT for all the hiking that we do (you can’t see them that well, but they are in the photo above) and SJ has some adorable pink Sperry Top Sider’s that are like new.
 Both shoes are valued at $50 each and we spent less than $3 each. Sorry, to do a whole post showing  second hand purchase shenanigans, but I can’t contain my excitement when I save more than 90% of retail value on quality items.
Have you done any “yard sailing” lately???
By |2015-05-14T23:15:31+00:00April 27, 2014|Uncategorized|2 Comments
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Kindergarten and Common Core

If you somehow stumbled upon this blog post looking for a deeper understanding of what Common Core is, I am not your gal. I still don’t totally get it. I was told it was the new national content standards and not a curriculum, but it seems like there is curricula attached to these new content standards in some form or another. 

When I went to meet the teacher night at the beginning of the year I am pretty sure that Z’s Kindergarten teacher talked about it, but I just remember her saying that they were going to be expecting a lot more this year and they would be packing a lot of information into a short amount of time. I personally was excited to hear that because I wanted Z to be challenged. 
I admit that I had some issues at the beginning of the year regarding Z being in Kindergarten instead of 1st grade, but now the school year is almost over and I haven’t regretted the decision to place him public school at all. In fact, I have felt like he has had private school treatment. I won’t go into all the details right now, but one reason I know that they have customized his assignments is because the first week I showed up for the parent orientation night they had these projects hanging in the hall and while all the other children dictated “David’s instructions” Z wrote his out himself.  
It’s hard to see because it’s in pencil, but his is the 2nd down on the right column. At the beginning of the year Z was tested on some basic kindergarten skills and he exceeded the year-end goals in every area. Even then, he still has learned so much more than what he went in with! Here I was concerned that he would become stagnant or bored, and it turns out that I had nothing to worry about. When SJ is mainstreamed she will have an IEP which will include some pull-out sessions. So she need special attention as well, but in a completely different way. Needless to say I have a vested interest from both ends of the spectrum, believe me. 
As far as Common Core, I have heard a lot of controversy. I don’t even watch the news, but it’s kind of hard to avoid the viral math problems that have been circulating. Z’s school had a seminar for parents to attend and learn more, but it was on a night that I could not come out. Fortunately they had a webinar later which included participation via live messages. I was impressed that the school would facilitate an option like this and I tuned in the entire time and I did ask a few questions. I still don’t understand the ins outs of both view points regarding the political hot button, but it’s boiled down to one thing for me, my children. When I see things like this on the internet I cringe. 
Then I read one article after the other of parents choosing to take their kids out of public school because they suddenly started doing poorly. If it was just here or there I wouldn’t think anything of it, but there must be a legitimate cause if it is happening at an alarmingly increased rate across the nation.  
But at the end of the day my son is excelling and he has a very loving teacher that makes learning something to get excited about. I don’t know what this means for each and every public school, but I don’t have the energy to fight for the all of the students of the nation today. Although, I am grateful for those that do. I consider myself an involved parent that makes informed decisions to the best of my abilities and I have not seen any evidence of this controversy having a negative impact on my son’s education so far. In fact I saw this homework assignment posted online under the title “Epic Fail- Parents Reveal Insane Common Core Worksheets” 
The complaint in this case was that common core homework makes it necessary to keep a supply of brass fasteners on hand. The funny thing is, my son had the exact same worksheet with a brass fastener taped to the front. People are circulating these so-called atrocities that really have more to do with individual teachers, schools, and even students, but not necessarily a reason for a revolt. I am not saying that there is nothing wrong with the system. I have seen red flags myself, but I am completely satisfied with how Z’s school is handling everything at this point and I have been assured that they are using local curricula and teachers are teaching with the same liberties they have had. 
With that said, I am prepared to keep tabs on everything, but I am also pleased to announce that we have had a very successful first year. I am grateful that Z is getting started now because by the time he is doing some of those wacky math problems hopefully they will have worked out all of the kinks. Anyway, I know plenty of people that didn’t have their child’s first year go so smoothly so I consider myself very blessed to be in this place at this time. What a relief. 
By |2015-05-18T05:19:58+00:00April 19, 2014|Schooling, Uncategorized|2 Comments
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SJ’s Latest Evaluation

This week was parent teacher conferences at SJ’s school. I wanted to do something special for her teacher’s because SJ goes to the best school ever with the greatest staff in the world.

Exaggerate much?

Well, to me it is all of that, and it’s been a God send for SJ. The least I could do is look up a simple thank you on Pinterest. I liked this printable from Tammy Mitchell Designs.

Instead of having SJ (Sedona) sign them I scanned her name and added it to the printable. That was her teachers favorite part, getting to have a keepsake of her name which she had JUST learned to spell.

In fact, out of nowhere she has been blowing me away with her handwriting. She can’t read, or sound things out. She doesn’t know ANY of the alphabet. So, considering all that, it is amazing that she can not only spell her name by heart (which is a long one), but she also knows several letters from her friends and family’s names. Just one example is when she saw the word Happy and thought it said “Hailey” which is a classmate. Then she had written some names on a piece of paper to which she pointed from bottom to top saying “Sedona, Zion, Ezra, Mommy”

 Some of the letters she did get right, and I don’t think it was just a coincidence. She is starting to make the connection. She also very suddenly went from scribbling blobs to drawing houses, rainbows, buildings and people.

And here is one of daddy playing guitar.

There are other areas she is falling a little behind in. I don’t want to focus on that because her team assured me and reassured me that she is doing wonderfully and it’s nothing to be alarmed about. I am going to work on making sure she keeps her implants on ALL the time at home and the school is going to pull her out of nap next year, since she doesn’t nap anyway, so that she can have more tutoring. I’m sure she will be fine and we can all pray and believe that she catches up in the area of sentences and can continue to move forward in order to really reach her fullest potential!

Lastly, here is a video I put together for her teachers to see the progression she has made since coming to the school a year ago. If you’ve watched any of the videos on my blog you’ve probably seen most of these and can skip this, but it’s still interesting to see 18 months unfold in 6 minutes. The first clip is with hearing aids and she can’t speak at all, she is mostly just looking at the therapist and trying to mimicking through the visuals. Nearly 6 months later she is implanted and activated, and she started to hear words and repeat them. This potato head video was an enormous breakthrough for Sedona. The third clip is summer school and she is still mostly repeating words with prompting, but she recognizes several vocabulary words. Then fast forward to this year where she can understand a TON more and is saying a few simple sentences and communicating by answering questions. The last clip is one I took at home of her practices some of her vocab. She knows 300 words now (give or take) and is has even started to sing for the first time.

That’s what’s happening with SJ. I want to do a blog post about Z’s school next. I was a part of a Common Core webinar yesterday and it’s been confusing and a little scary, but nevertheless I love his school. I will elaborate on all that later. I hope everyone has a really GOOD Friday!

By |2015-05-18T05:20:09+00:00April 17, 2014|Hearing Loss, Uncategorized|3 Comments
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So Apparently We Are Loud

I had a friend call once and hesitantly asked if it was a good time to talk. I told her it was, and she responded with “Are you sure? because it’s sounds like you are out and I don’t want to interrupt.” I said “No I’m at home with the kids”. She thought I was at Chuck E. Cheese. I’m not too surprised. That’s just what it sounds like on any given day, except if we really were like a Chuck E. Cheese then my children wouldn’t always be begging me to go to Chuck E. Cheese. I don’t even think that we are that loud, we are probably a very moderate volume. We just happen to have 3 children ages 6 and under in a relatively small space, so the sound has nowhere to go.

Last week we had a visit from apartment management to change a filter and some routine stuff, but on their way out the land lord informed us that there had been a complaint. My mind immediately went to all of the items that the baby had been throwing over the balcony, but no, it was the noise level. We defended ourselves by saying the kids go to bed at 8:30 so it’s not like late night partying, and we were told when we moved in that children were welcome. They understood, but apparently one tenant has been pretty persistent that there has been running, stomping, and jumping happening at night and on weekends. For the record the woman that said this works during the weekdays (from what we can tell by her car) so in other words when she is home, that is when she hears it. Welcome to my world. 
The odd thing about this complaint was that the renter that lives directly under us is a young woman that plays loud music and has always been very kind and understanding about our circumstances. So I found it hard to believe that she would relentlessly place calls with management in such a way. After J and I went through every possible option of who would make this call, all we could think was that it was the woman that lives two floors below us. But how could that be? Could she possibly hear us from that far away?
Turns out she can, and here is how we know. Shortly after this all took place she left a note right out in the open taped to the front of the young woman’s door that lives below us. It actually had my name on it so I truly thought it was intended for me although, I guess we just happen to have the same name? It basically said 

 Sorry I didn’t take my complaint to you first, I just wasn’t sure how I would be received. I don’t think the noise I am hearing is a TV. It’s more like stomping, running, and jumping. Maybe it’s the people above you. It bothers my dog and makes him very nervous and scared. Then he gets sick. That is why I informed management. Thank you for your note. 

Now I am no detective, but I have enough clues to fill in the missing pieces here. The lady with the dog had a note taped to her door the week before. I saw it when I went to do laundry, but it didn’t mean anything to me and so I thought nothing of it. I’m guessing it said something to the effect of

I was informed by the landlord that there was a complaint about the noise level of my apartment. The only thing I can imagine this could be caused by is my TV and if it is too loud then I wish you would just come to me so that I can turn it down….  

It sounds like all parties involved are being pretty considerate, so I appreciate that. And I do feel sorry for anyone that lives below my family or Jim Gaffigan’s (that was a plug for the book Dad Is Fat. If you  haven’t read it then you should and then you’ll get it). But what it comes down to is a dog that gets nervous vs. my three energetic children. Now I hate to be an obnoxious neighbor, but I refuse to raise my kids in a prison cell and they will continue to be allowed to be children during daylight hours. I do the best I can to get them out of the apartment to get their exercise at McDonald’s, the nature center, a local park etc. It’s not easy, but it’s for my sake and theirs that I do this. Even with all of that there are days that weather, illness, or money does not permit recreational activity or days where despite my best efforts they still manage to be silly and hyper at home.

In conclusion, I make sure the kids take off their shoes when they come inside (something they are supposed to be doing anyway) and I have let them know at 8:00 it’s quiet time. That’s really the best I can do. Unless maybe someone knows where I can find some doggy ear plugs.

By |2015-05-14T23:15:31+00:00April 15, 2014|Uncategorized|2 Comments
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Healthy Outlets

We all have different ways of letting off steam. Some people de-stress by knitting, others like to take it to the gym. I personally have always found writing to be therapeutic (surprise), for J it’s playing guitar. Not that it’s limited to one activity, but I think it’s important that we find ways to connect with our emotions and clear our minds every once in a while.

Z has been at an interesting stage lately. He still has meltdowns, but he’s the only one I don’t have to worry about throwing an uncontrollable fit when it’s time to leave the park. It’s a beautiful thing to watch this level of control develop. Some days are better than others, but it won’t be long before he catches up to J in terms of temper tantrums (okay, I’m kidding). Besides just managing emotions, I have noticed something else. He is finding his own unique way of self expression.

Several months ago (Just before Z turned 6) he began to secretly write some of his frustrations out on paper when he was mad or upset. I know a lot of children do this, but as far as my observation among my friends it’s especially common for girls. The one that made me cry was when his grandparents were in town. It was time for them to head back to Texas so we walked down to their mini van and said our goodbyes. Z seemed totally fine, but after a while of not hearing a peep out of him I peeked in his room. I noticed he was drawing and I asked him about it.

He showed me a picture of the family crying in-between the van and the apartment building. I said, you miss grandma don’t you? That’s when the big tears that had been forming became too heavy to hold back anymore, and he just broke down. We called grandma and she suggested he count down the days until our Christmas trip to Texas and mark them off daily.


November-February were taped together like a calendar on his wall.

Z responded well to that idea. Later we printed December off the computer and he drew a car on the day that we were leaving and returning and put happy faces on the days we would be there.

 This wasn’t the only time he used drawing/writing to express his emotions, but it’s not always this sweet. Sometimes when Z is mad at me he will disappear to his room and write something like “I wish I was never born” or “dad is bad” or one time I found the words “I don’t like mom” crumpled up on the floor after we had a big argument. I picked it up, flattened it out and read it, but he very defensively said he was joking. I told him that I didn’t believe that and I was sad that he felt that way, but if he was ready we could talk about it. Then he said “Well, I didn’t mean it. That’s why it’s trash.” We talked about it and everything was fine. Even when it is hurtful I encourage this type of outlet because we all have to vent, and he is finding a healthy way to decompress at a very young age. How awesome is that?

I get it, because it is JUST LIKE ME. I received my first journal when I was in 2nd grade. It was a Secret Garden journal from my aunt in California. I got it for Christmas and it even had a lock and key! Then when I was in high school I started writing poetry. I have a little notebook full of pages of poetry. Poem after poem of all of my hopes, fears, and pain. Some of them were really dark. Thank goodness I used journals to cope instead of drugs right? Actually, I was never offered drugs. Still, I like to believe I chose to stay away from them (wink wink).

Yesterday after being told he was done playing the wii for the day, and then throwing a monstrous baby fit about it, he was sent his room. Moments later a paper airplane crashed just short of me with a message on it.

With broken spelling it said “If you treat me that way then I guess you don’t care about me and I see you don’t love me either” on the back it said “read and then sign here _________”. So I signed it and wrote “I will always care about you and love you no matter what, in good times and bad”. Then he signed it and wrote “thanks for the note” We had a talk about whether his behavior was respectful or disrespectful and he recognized his poor choices and that was our big melt down for the day. It was dramatic for sure, but a lot of maturity has happened in the past two years.

Z showing off the first time he tied his shoes.

I mention this because Z, as the first born, has been quite the pioneer in teaching me when to expect what as far as age appropriate development. When babies are too young to talk we understand that they are frustrated because they cannot communicate with us. Then around two, three, four (you know that blissful  stage of cooperation) they can talk and so all should be well, right? First of all we are always a work in progress so there is never a certain point that you arrive and no one ever has to deal with your crap anymore, but beyond that let’s go back to the first paragraph. How do three year olds de-stress? How do they cope? They can’t blog, they can’t go shopping, or go for a hike. They can jump around and scribble. I am sure that helps, but my point is, what if the the thing that they were inherently born with that allows them to feel a sense of relief and self gratification is not developed or discovered yet. It makes it a little easier to sympathize with them instead of just getting frustrated that they are so frustrated so often. I know there is a lot more to it than that, and I am no psychiatrist, but in the mean time I can have some grace and patience for these little bitties (and bigger kids too). In the same way that I don’t demand that a 10 month old “use their words”, a can’t expect my two year old to have a mature sense of self expression.

I would encourage you as your child gets to be around the age of 5 (according to The 5 Love Languages of Children) to see if you can recognize what activity, hobby, or interest is their healthy outlet. What can you do to nurture that God given desire in them? Or maybe you are still in search for that thing yourself. Either way we all get cranky, we are all progressing, and we all need grace.


One of Z’s first stories- The dog is red. The sky is blue. The sky is cool blue. The dog is red. I love the dog. He is my pet. The end.

By |2015-05-18T05:20:25+00:00April 10, 2014|Schooling, Uncategorized|3 Comments
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