Messymom – Page 50 – Making the Best of What Looks Like a Mess

The Roll Over Car Accident

I just recently read the book “The Vow” by Kim and Krickitt Carpenter.

It’s a nonfiction book and there is a movie based off of the same story, but I wouldn’t bother with the movie because it’s NOTHING like the true story. The Carpenter’s story is such an amazing declaration or what love and commitment is really all about. The authors do not shy away from proclaiming the gospel page after page and their detailed account is incredible. The couple was married for just 2 months when they were in a tragic car accident that nearly killed them. Their lives were spared, but Kricket’s memory was not. She didn’t remember her husband at all and the rehabilitation and emotional challenges that followed were almost painful to read, but <spoiler alert> it has a happy ending.

This got me thinking about the time I was in a horrific car wreck.

Some of this will be a repost from what I shared 7 years ago, but I think the story bears repeating because not only is it a testimony of God’s provision, it is also a reminder to wear a seat belt and have infants properly restrained in a car seat while on the road.

It was March of 2008. I was in Kentucky with my 6 month old (Z) visiting family. It was time to head back home to Dallas where my husband was waiting for us. My mom drove us to the airport and while we were riding along on the highway going about 70 MPH the traffic ahead began to stop. My mom hit the brakes in order to avoid a collision and the car started to swerve, first to the left then to the right and we headed off road toward a ditch.

In that moment I honestly never thought I am going to die! I just saw the car vearing off road in the grass and thought Oh No, this is bad and by bad I just figured we would come to an abrupt stop and that we’d be late and miss our flight. Of course all these thoughts happened in a matter of seconds.

Next thing I knew the airbag and a bunch of dirt came towards me. Then I woke up just moments later with grass, glass, dirt, and debri everywhere. It was as if the car was a shovel digging up the earth. I didn’t immediately realized the severity of the wreck. All I could think about was my baby boy in the back seat. I literally screamed at the top of my lungs like you see in the movies “OH GOD! MY SON! SAVE MY BABY! JESUS CHRIST HE HAS TO BE OKAY! My window had been busted out so I jumped through it and ran to the back of the car screaming. I had completely LOST it.

I tried to get him out through the window, but the car seat was too heavy for me in my condition and the door was smashed shut. My mom got out and was able to reach him from her side. She immediately assured me that he was fine. She went from looking at my 6 months old who didn’t even seem phased to looking up at me from the other side of the car. Her face was an expression of shock and horror. With tears in her eyes she said “but Natalie you are not”. I had a nasty head injury. At that moment I felt light headed and collapsed on the ground and just wept. Once I knew my baby was fine the motherly adrenaline drained out of my system.
My mom brought the baby over to me so that I could hold him in my arms. Some people pulled over to help and were on the phone with emergency services. I didn’t even realize that the car had rolled over until I heard someone tell the paramedics. I had hit my head on the roof of the car and had a huge knot on the right side about the size of a baseball and was bleeding in several areas. We were all 3 rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. Everyone there reminded me over and over that my baby was okay and that did help me to calm down a lot, although I was still trembling. They did all the appropriate tests and in the end all of three of us were okay.

We got another flight and were back home several days later. I had to go to the chiropractor for a few months for neck issues, but other than that the only thing I came away with from the accident were scrapes, bruises, and a big chunk of missing hair that I guess had been sliced off by the broken glass. It looked funny when it grew back in because for a while it stuck up like alfalfa. I didn’t have a smart phone to take pictures and I didn’t blog back then, so lucky for you I won’t be sharing any gruesome photos. Although I do have this picture of my mom’s car which of course was totaled.

One thing I will never forget about that terrifying day was that the whole time I was strapped to that stretcher forced to stare at the ceiling with my neck brace on the worship song “He Loves Us” by John Marc McMillan was going through my mind.

He loves us, Oh how He loves us, Oh how He loves us… I felt those words flowing through me over and over bringing me peace in the midst of it all.

And I know that He does love us. He truly does.

By Natalie|2015-07-23T12:00:59+00:00July 23, 2015|My Life, Uncategorized|0 Comments

I Fell In Love and Married Too Young.

I was engaged 15 years ago (so I was barely 18) and I got married 3 months later.

Statistically speaking people married under the age of 25 are at a much higher risk for divorce. Low income families are too. Short engagements make your chances of success even lower.

We were all of the above and then some. Some would call our marriage a recipe for disaster, yet we’ve already beaten the odds just getting past the 10 year mark.

So how is it that we have a strong healthy marriage after 15 years even while undergoing so much struggle?

First of all it’s because we have a redeeming Savior that we rely on to get us through the hard times. “There but for the grace of God go I” is one of my all time favorite sayings.

I don’t want anything I say to be hurtful or judgmental. Marriage is SO COMPLICATED and each situation is completely different. We’ve seen many dear friends and family members walk through the pain and difficulty of seperation so I am not trying to sum up the key to marital success in under a thousand words.

What I do want to say is that I see a trend in our culture that I think is misleading. I call it the calculated marriage.

On average most people will spend a quarter of their life single. Then they spend a few years dating and being engaged to their spouse. At this point you would have MOST of your life ahead of you.

Here’s a terribly unscientific pie chart to explain what I mean.

What I see happening is that everyone (Christian or not) is putting ALL the emphasis on that tiny fraction of the pie that I have labeled courting (shown in orange).

Some suggest living together during courtship so that you really know what life is like. Others suggest a parent led courtship where the families are heavily involved. There are websites designed to match you up with your most compatible partner. I’ve seen advice that you should stay single longer, date longer, marry someone you’ve known for a long time, be financially stable, have a college degree, get plenty of counseling, own a pet first, marry someone who has never been divorced, or I saw an article shared on Facebook yesterday that talked about the stigma of having divorced parents.

The list goes on. Don’t get me wrong, there are important factors to consider, but I am going to make an unpopular claim and say that we are putting the emphasis in the wrong place.

I believe that the reason J and I (and the many many other couples I know in the same boat) have defied the odds is because we put the work in before we even met each other and then really got our elbows dirty after we sealed the deal. So we may have rushed through the “orange” phase, but you see all that green and yellow? We have invested a lot into those years and hopefully the years to come.

We were taught to believe that marriage takes work and divorce is not an option. We were working on our relationships with the Lord while we were single (and therefore working on what it takes to have a successful marriage). We have had to fight for our marriage especially in those first 5 years! I’m glad we had no way out in those dark moments because now I get to see all the wonderful things we would have missed!

Let me use an analogy. Let’s say there is a young woman that dreams of having a nice car some day. She carpools and rides the bus as she diligently saves up for her dream car. Her focus and motivation is getting the perfect car. She believes that if she does all the research and gets a car that has great gas milage, high safety ratings, a history of longevity, and luxurious amenities then she knows she will be happy.

The day comes that she finds the ONE. It’s perfect. She doesn’t rush in and buy it either. She finishes saving up and pays CASH! It sounds like the epitome of self discipline and responsibility.

The problem is, she goes to get the car without a drivers license! She assumed she would be able to learn to drive once she had a car to practice with.

To make matters worse she doesn’t keep up with the maintence on the car. The car she worked so hard to get is banged up and run down fast because she doesn’t know how to drive it or take care of issues when they arise. She was completely focused on the vehicle and her checklist, but put little thought into what it really means to drive or take ownership.

The point I am trying to make is that while the vehicle and the purchase is important it’s not even the most important part. Of course there are things you can do to make wise choices while you date or are engaged. For starters the Bible talks about being equally yoked and that’s HUGE, but it’s only a part of the equation. You have to learn about commitment and choose covenant everyday in every aspect of life. Then when you are married you implement what you’ve learned. You walk it out. It takes two and that’s the hard part, but it’s so rewarding.

There are some people that operate with caution by nature and if you want to get a license, save up for the perfect car, AND take good care of it too then that’s great. My concern is for those that think the calculated marriage is going to solve the divorce epidemic.

Marriage is a big decision that should not be taken lightly, but deep down I still stubbornly believe that some of the best things in life are uncalculated.

By Natalie|2021-11-04T11:21:27+00:00July 21, 2015|Marriage, Uncategorized|7 Comments

Gender Reveal Video Announcement

I don’t usually post on Saturday nights, but I can’t wait a second longer to share the news! Watch the video until the end for the big announcement.

By Natalie|2015-07-18T19:09:56+00:00July 18, 2015|Creativity, Pregnancy & Birth|10 Comments

Baby Face

Baby Hand

Last week I had my 20 week ultrasound. Everything went great. The baby is healthy. I’m right on track with measurements. The kids enjoyed seeing the baby on the monitor and yes, we did find out the gender.

I texted my brother from the doctor’s office to announce the news and tell him I had a gender reveal video that I wanted to try to put together as soon as possible. He was on board and days later he and my sister in law came out to turn my idea into reality.

Some of you may remember last time we did this (back in March).

That video was obviously scripted whereas this next one (which I have not seen any of yet), is totally just documenting the moment.

I can’t share too much because I don’t want to blow the secret, but we used paint to make the announcement.

This was the first drawing on my story board. Don’t critique it! It’s just a really quick sketch to get the idea across and that’s just about all I can show you other than this photo of set up

and the two paint cans

and here we are getting ready for some fun.

I can’t wait to share our news with everyone!!! It is an honor to have my brother help out with this project. He has a busy schedule and he literally travels the world shooting films and commercials. Yet, he and his wife jump in with both feet to make a short film for their new nephew… or niece. Ha! Just kidding. I’m not telling.

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That’s my brother in the orange jacket on set in Iceland. Photo Credit: Paper Lantern Productions

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Here he is wearing some kind of gear that I don’t know the name of. Photo Credit: Drive Media House

Subscribe to my youtube channel so that you know exactly when we release the video. The big reveal is just days away!

By Natalie|2015-07-17T12:35:44+00:00July 17, 2015|Creativity, Pregnancy & Birth|2 Comments

The Lego Americana Roadshow

The one good thing about my computer malfunctioning was that when I brought it in to the Apple store at the Kenwood Mall I happened upon The Lego® Americana Roadshow- Building Across America.

I brought my kids back to experience it today.

Z LOVES History and LEGO® so this would be perfect for him! Here is a photo he made me take of his latest creation.

I have hundreds of these photos because he always wants his buildings and designs documented. Like most kids, Z just LOVES building. Unfortunately he is away at camp this week so he didn’t get to go with us, but the younger two still really enjoyed the event. Even J and I loved it. You don’t have to be a kid to like LEGO® right? I know “the box says it’s for ages 8-14” but “That’s just a suggestion. They have to put that one there”. That’s a LEGO Movie quote for those that haven’t seen it and if not, I suggest you do.

As far as a really brief overview of what to expect from the exhibit, there are several different historical USA landmark structures on display throughout the mall made completely out of LEGO® bricks.

There is a huge White House, the Statue of Liberty, the Old North Church was really pretty, and we especially loved the Lincoln Memorial because there was even a LEGO® Abraham Lincoln statue inside, just like in real life.

Throughout the mall you can easily pick up a map that shows where all of the displays are and there is a question and answer section on the back that can be completed and returned at the LEGO® store for a LEGO® American Roadshow poster.

Pretty cool and very educational.

On top of that there is a hands on activity center by the food court.

Children are encouraged to build with LEGO® toys and even race their own LEGO® car creations on a derby track.

Everyone there was having such a great time and the staff were really friendly and helpful too.

I am not getting paid to say any of this I promise. This is just a little tidbit of info from one LEGO® mom to another because it’s such a great opportunity for some FREE summer fun that also encourages creativity and learning about our nation at the same time.

The LEGO® Americana RoadShow that we visited was at the Kenwood Towne Centre Mall in Cincinnati Ohio. It will only be there through this Sunday, July 19th though. Then they’re off to the next stop which is Hoover Alabama. All of the details for their schedule can be found at LEGO.com

I’m telling you, if you have a chance to go and you are lucky enough for one of the stops to be in your area then you should definitely take advantage of that. From what I understand it’s something new that they are still developing. Let’s show LEGO® how much we love community events like this and maybe they’ll add more locations to future tours!

Check out their Facebook page for more information.

I know Everything is Awesome, but The LEGO Americana Roadshow is really REALLY awesome.

By Natalie|2015-07-15T20:24:17+00:00July 15, 2015|Creativity, Family, Frugal Living|2 Comments

Finding Out We Were Pregnant

I think most moms remember where they were when they found out they were having a baby for the first time. Well, you were probably in the bathroom, but I guess I mean where you were at in life. Or maybe you remember the date or details with every child. It’s one of life’s most surreal and indescribable moments.

With my first pregnancy I took a test and then announced it to J at the Macaroni Grill while playing hangman with our crayons on the paper table cloth.

Then with the next pregnancy I had Z color a picture for J saying saying he was going to be a big brother.

With Ezie I switched things up. Instead of me announcing to J I had him tell me. I saw it on a show one time. I took the test, but he was the one to go in three minutes later and come out and tell me the news. If you consider this keep in mind this also means your husband will be the one to tell you if you are not pregnant (which did happen once). So it can get emotional, but it was really special to hear the news from my husband that we were expecting our third.

This last time I thought why not just find out together?

Once your test leaves the bathroom it opens up a whole world of possibilities really. You could take the test and then tuck it away to save after you hike up to the top of a mountain. You could have the life changing experience at the same place he proposed. In our case we went home after a nice date night and then opened a little gift bag while snuggling on the couch. That’s where we were when we found out our lives were going to change forever, again.

The thing I worried about when I started drumming up this idea was the possibility of accidentally seeing the results. That’s an easy fix though since you can just cover up the result window with tape.

I used Christmas tape because that’s what I had. It could be any colored tape. Once you take the test you can put the cap on and seal it in a zipper bag. Most test results will last up to 24 hours, but you will want to check the specific brand to know for sure ahead of time. That would be no fun to plan to take a canoe out on the lake or something and then just see a blank screen because your plus sign faded.

Another obvious downside to finding out together is that you don’t know if you are pregnant are not, which could be very anticlimactic if the test is negative. I can see how this is an impractical approach that would NOT be ideal for all situations. For me, since this was my fourth and I was tired of finding out alone. I KNEW I was pregnant. I was just waiting to confirm it with a test. So I just waited a little longer so that we could schedule a date night and celebrate afterwards with a special package and lemon meringue cheesecake. It was fun!

So that is the story of how we found out we were pregnant this time. I’ll never forget it.

By Natalie|2015-07-09T14:38:55+00:00July 9, 2015|My Life, Pregnancy & Birth|13 Comments

Paper Plate Cow Masks

My family LOVES Chick-fil-A Cow Appreciation day. I can never remember to dress my children in green on St. Patrick’s Day, but not a summer goes by that we don’t participate in a holiday made up by a fast food chain that allows you to get free food!

Whether you are looking for an easy way to get a free meal on July 14th, or you have a school play to dress up for, or maybe you are just looking for a fun craft, these DIY paper plate masks are so simple. You may have all of the supplies on hand, if not they are cheap and easy to find.

Supply List

Paper Plate

One sheet of pink, black, and tan/brown construction paper

Scissors

Hole punch (or just use scissors or something sharp)

Black marker

Glue/and or tape

String (preferable elastic)

First cut out a 5 inch triangular shape out of the plate for the mouth. It will be close to a fourth of the plate.

Next cut an oval out of the pink paper to be used for the nose. It will be slightly smaller than the widest part of the mouth. About 4 inches. Then draw two ovals for the nostrils.

You will also fold the tan paper in half to cut out two identical horns about 3 inches long. Then some ears made of black paper that is a pointy oval shape, along with the same shape in pink that is about an inch smaller.

Cut holes for the eyes (put the mask on to pencil in the approximate width) and punch holes for the string.

Lastly, glue or tape all the parts into place and tie your string into the holes.

Now you are ready for the fun to begin!

Enjoy your new mask!

By Natalie|2015-07-07T17:43:52+00:00July 7, 2015|Crafts, Frugal Living|8 Comments

The BIG Ultrasound

I can’t believe the pregnancy is already half way over.

I am feeling well. I still get a little nauseous from time to time, but it’s definitely on the decline. The acid reflux is just barely starting to make short little unwanted visit. Boo. For the most part I feel fantastic though.

I am to the point that I feel the baby moving now and it won’t be long before the kids and J will be able to. We have our FIRST ultrasound on Monday.

Quick poll for anyone who has had a baby in the past decade or so.

Did you have more than one ultrasound?

At my first appointment they said that if they were unable to detect a heartbeat at the beginning then they would, but that wasn’t an issue so they just went ahead with the exam and didn’t schedule a sonogram until 20 weeks. This is a first for me. I usually had one early on where you can see the tiny little bean inside and then a second at the halfway point.

With that said, I’m excited to see the baby on the black and white monitor for the first time. This is always an emotional moment for me. Of course I want reassurance that the baby is healthy and everything is coming along fine and I am definitely anxious about finding out the gender!

Most people are guessing that it is a girl. The pattern so far has been boy, girl, boy… So it seems a girl would fit right in with our current rhythm. However, I have had some STRONG boy vibes. So much so that I was worried about psyching myself out if I was wrong. I didn’t want the baby to feel like I don’t want a girl if that’s what I’m having!

It’s just that we have a boy name picked out already and the baby would be 3 years apart from Ezie (whereas he/she will be 6 years apart from SJ) so I can picture the boys playing well together and being in school together. Another reason maybe that I was the only girl with 3 brothers in my family so I know what to expect with that.

On the flip side, if I am wrong and it’s a girl there are lots of things to look forward to with that. I was sorting through their stash of costumes the other day and I thought about all of the princess clothes that SJ would be grown out of before you know it and I have so many more little girl party ideas that I won’t even get to throw if I don’t have another girl. There is also dividing up rooms and the convenience of an even number of boys and girls per room.

I’m rambling out loud, but needless to say it’s a win-win regardless of whether the baby is a boy or girl. I am still really anxious to find out so that I can hit up the yard sales and also clear out some of the old stuff we won’t need anymore depending on what the gender is.

Did any of you other mamas feel like you knew what you were having?

By Natalie|2015-07-03T09:54:22+00:00July 3, 2015|My Life, Pregnancy & Birth|2 Comments

Real Life in a Small Space

I have had such an overwhelming response to the “Small Space Living for Big Families“. It has been awesome! I have had the opportunity to connect with so many other families from ALL OVER who are also making the most out of living with less. The Facebook comments have been… diverse. Most of them are extremely positive, but I did get some feedback from skeptics because all of the photos I shared were of the apartment empty. They couldn’t imagine what “real life” in 800 square feet with three small children would actually look like. For most people the concept is a nightmare.

Just to be clear, if you can afford and manage a large or even average home that’s fantastic. It’s a personal choice. Some people do it out of conviction, for us it’s necessity. Either way the idea is to find satisfaction despite what our culture says we must have. Our children don’t have to live a solemn life of deprivation, just because they don’t have their own bedroom and playroom.

For those that follow my blog, I post pictures of my family in our apartment all the time so you know we are real people and you’ve seen most of this before. For everyone else I have gone through some old photos that show how we manage year round in less than 800 square feet. Get ready for an overwhelming amount of snapshots.

We’ll start with January.

Nerf darts. I did a whole post about this and it’s even been featured on other blogs.

We definitely go sledding and stuff, but the kids can spend hours out in this little patio throwing snowballs at the sliding door and building snowmen in the winter. It’s basically turns into a giant sandbox when it snows which means I get stay warm behind the glass!

Here is a pic of the kids filling out their class Valentine’s.

My daughter’s birthday is in March and I wrote two posts about how we had the ultimate tea party for her birthday.

The kid’s share a room for now and as you can see they consider it “Fun Land”

This is when Ezie was still in a crib and they didn’t have bunk beds yet.

and this isn’t the best pic, but it’s the new setup. The swing chair is from Ikea. There is a small trampoline in the other end of the room. There is a toy box and a book shelf hanging on the wall with tons and tons of books. They share a closet too.

Here is Z is posing in front of the apartment with his end of the year school project.

Fun with food.

Our one little bathroom seconds as a salon.

Bubbles on the patio is always a great choice for summer.

The guys having fun making race cars and a track out of paper.

Living on the third floor of an apartment means lots of stairs everyday.

Another successful birthday party. This one was camping theme! Check out the whole post with all the details here.

Floor puzzle

Dancing and dress up time

Checking herself out in the master bedroom

Building a model car with dad

Building a pinewood derby car with dad

Winning a trophy for pinewood derby! The suitcase is significant because my dad came in for the event and he spent the night. We have had many guest sleepover on multiple occasions!

More playtime

Crafts

We are always out of town with family for Christmas so we don’t do any big decorations, but we do Truth in the Tinsel and some other fun traditions.

Our one piece of furniture to sit on.

Many, many meals have been made in this tiny kitchen.

We love playing cards and board games.

Reading time!

They don’t usually sleep in our bed, but there are mornings we wake up like this!

The truth is we aren’t home that much. Thanks to generous gifts we have had annual memberships to the nature center, the sports and fitness club, and the science museum. We also frequent parks and libraries, along with play dates and road trips. So I am not trying to imply that we just love being cooped up together in our small apartment all the time. What I am trying to prove with this post is that we are a REAL family that has a lot of fun and shared memories using every last inch of our little space.

I feel like God has brought us to this place for a reason. We’ve learned and gained so much from this season of our lives. If I could change the past and give my children a bigger home and a more luxurious or glamorous lifestyle I wouldn’t do it. My dream house wish list is longer than my weekly grocery list, so don’t get me wrong I am a big fan of amenities, but for now it’s the simple life and I SIMPLY wouldn’t have it any other way.

By Natalie|2022-03-16T14:45:46+00:00July 1, 2015|Family, Frugal Living, Lifestyle, Simple Living, Uncategorized|11 Comments

This is Me
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This is Me

My Life, Uncategorized

This is Me

I remember when I was 22. It feels ridiculously too recent. Surely 10 years have not flown by! It’s just not possible. I am still as youthful, relevant, and spunky as ever right? Sometimes I feel that way. Other days my mortality and decay is spreading like a crack on a windshield. In fact, I feel like I remember the moment when the metaphorical rock hit my windshield.

I was 29 and all kinds of major life changing events were happening. I mean MAJOR. The year I turned 30 was the most stressful year of my life. It was like driving through a hail storm and then… CRACK! Suddenly I noticed a wrinkle which slowly became more wrinkles, some saggy skin, strange hairs, and grey hairs. I analyze every detail as though the world is watching and the headlines in tomorrow’s newspaper will be announcing that Natalie Busch is old.

Then I sit behind a 90 year old woman in church who is hunched over so badly her face is pointed to the ground and she is forced to strain her neck to keep from staring at her feet. Her hands are curled up tightly in her lap. Her skin is soft and translucent as if it is fading into oblivion. She is wheeled into the sanctuary every Sunday where she praises the Lord with all that is left in her. As her body turns inward into itself her soul turns upward and outward. She is so peaceful. In the moments that I observe and admire her I realize how silly I have been for thinking that at 32 years of age I am old!

Tomorrow is my birthday and it has finally occurred to me that if I can’t be content now, then I never will.

I spent far too many years wounded and insecure. I used to hate myself. I don’t know if you would say I had an eating disorder. If I did I wasn’t very good at it because the more I hated my body the more weight I gained. I definitely had body image issues though. I would do crash diets left and right. I tried every kind of exercise regimen under the sun and I even reverted to pills. When I didn’t see the results I was looking for I would binge and eat in secret. I was truly depressed. It wasn’t just a little slump. It was the pit of despair. I felt hideous and unwanted.

10 years ago I was so desperate to change, I remember coming up with a slogan around my birthday. It was “A Better Me at 23”. Mind you, this didn’t mean a more selfless me, or a more spirit led me. No, that would be great if that was what I meant by better, but the reality was it was another big diet plan. This called for another round of “Before” photos. I was determined that my 23rd year would be the year I would change! And did I?

No. I did not, because my heart and my mindset stayed the same and I refused to address what was going on inside of me.

I was a server at Macaroni Grill at the time and one day my manager came up to me and said “These guys asked for our prettiest waitress and I want to hurry up and get that two top bussed so I can put them in your section. You’re okay with one more table?” He was dead serious. The sad thing is I wasn’t flattered. I didn’t flip my hair and think Oh boy, big tippers. Right this way gentlemen. I wasn’t disgusted and thinking I am not waiting on those sexists morons. What do they think this is Hooters?

No. I didn’t think any of that. I thought Oh no. They are going to be disappointed. They wanted to have the prettiest waitress and all they get is me.

I have never told anyone that story before so this takes a lot for me to admit. It’s embarrassing and sad. Everything about that story is what is wrong with our women in our society today 1.) That I would think that I owed these men something as a woman and 2.) That who I was wasn’t enough.

I have no idea what those men’s intentions were. They were elderly business men and honestly I think they were just being goofy and playful. This isn’t about the men. The point is that I had bought into the lies about who I really am!

The Lord has delivered me from so much since then. I can’t even begin to express how much freedom I have experienced in the past ten years. I still struggle though. I think most women do. That insecurity will rear it’s ugly head like a bottle of whiskey calling out to an alcoholic. Having the physical evidence of aging has not been easy for me. It makes me want to revert back to that depressed lost 22 year old that hated how she looked and worked hard to change her outward appearance, but I know better now. In my own strength I am definitely weak, but through Christ I am whole. And although it might sound cliche like a pop song or Dove commercial, I am beautiful just as I am.

It’s been Ten years since I made the “better me at 23” declaration. I’ll be 33 tomorrow and this year I have a new slogan.

It’s, “This is me at 33”.