After years of struggle I feel like I finally have some answers and help with my hearing and it is such a relief.

The day after I got my first hearing aid I shared on Messy Mom just how much of an adjustment it was.

Honestly, at first I wasn’t sure they were going to work for me at all. I wanted it to be a solution, but I couldn’t tell whether or not I was benefitting from wearing the hearing aids. They worked in the sense that things were louder, but EVERYTHING was louder. Even my mouth chewing was loud. So if I was at a restaurant eating it was still very difficult for me to understand anybody. However I tried to trust the experts including my audiologist who told me that those that really wear them all the time rather than just sporadically are the ones that are going to benefit the most. They say it takes anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months of practice and commitment to see the positive results.

I was genuinely committed for two reasons. First because I wanted to hear! Also because I want to be an example to my daughters who also have hearing loss and need to wear hearing devices. It’s been hard though. Way harder than I thought. Even with my determination I struggled to really get into the habit of wearing them. It’s like learning a new language or training for an athletic event. Sometimes life gets in the way. Whether it’s self inflicted by lack of motivation or emergencies that you can’t control. It’s hard to keep at it.

It was almost 12 weeks before I really felt comfortable with them. There are still times I mishear people, and even with hearing aids my ears don’t hear as well as a person that has normal hearing. It’s much better though. One day at church my mom said something in my left ear and I understood her. This is significant because my mom is always talking in church (sorry to tattle mom) and she is usually sitting on my left and I can’t hear anything she says. I am no longer turning my head so that I can hear with my “good ear” and when I forget to put them in or when I take them off at night I notice that I miss a lot.

The hearing aids aren’t perfect, but I can now say with certainty that they make a huge difference. However, the important part of my story is that it wasn’t like that at first! So if you ever end up needing hearing aids or know someone who does, take it from me, you will probably hate them at first. Everything will be loud (read my example of the first day) and even after several months it still won’t be the same as having your natural hearing, but your brain adjusts. It’s pretty incredible. I am so grateful that I have had this experience so that I can help others that are in that situation and I can relate more to my daughters and their friends with hearing loss. 

One other big update about my hearing is that I have an answer to the question of why it seems like my hearing started going downhill in my early 20’s. I know for sure when it happened because I even went to the ENT to have it checked out. Then I did again when I turned 30 and again at 33.

It’s been a long road looking for answers, but eventually I talked with Elle and SJ’s ENT who is truly one of the top pediatric otolaryngologists in the nation and I am not just saying that. He has seen our genetic tests and heard our story so I asked him why my hearing has worsened over time and if that would happen with Elle.

He said the reason is because we all have thousands of hair cells that get damaged or deteriorate over time and that’s why the elderly usually can’t hear so well. The difference between myself and other people is that most people have a cushion so when they damage those hair cells it’s not a big deal until they are older. For me I already start out with a disadvantage so what I have experienced is basically a premature age related hearing loss. It doesn’t change anything, but it made sense and was good to have an answer.

As far as SJ everything with her cochlear implants is fine and dandy. She’s in 1st grade at Ohio Valley Voices and still has a lot of catching up to do, but is doing great.

Elle doesn’t have any hearing aids yet, but probably will soon. She has regular therapy sessions with early intervention specialists. Her speech is a little delayed. She’s only 10 months old tomorrow. So it’s not that she should be talking, but she should be able to babble and right now the only sound she makes is Ahhhhh. No one is concerned though, they predict she is going to be rocking and rolling without any issues at all.

That’s the latest with us girls and our hearing loss. I will keep everyone posted when I have anymore updates.

Great news everybody. I have a new computer. Some of you don’t even know that my computer broke, but it was gradually going down hill since early summer when I spilled my coffee drink on it. The remorse and frustration I dealt with about that accident is just a whole other story, some of which I shared on my Facebook live announcement last week. Anyway, I’ve got a new computer now and I am back in business.

Here is a very quick update about what’s happening.

1. My oldest son Z turned 9 on Sunday! We didn’t do a big theme party like we have in years past (see his 8th, 6th, and 4th birthdays). We lucked out though because our church was having a big labor day party on his birthday and they had snow cones, games, and a serious fireworks show. So after eating out with a couple friends and playing at an arcade he ended the night with the church party. It was a great time. Z’s birthday is the date that kicks off the celebration season for our family. In a month I’ll be doing Ezie’s 4th birthday, then the next month is Elle’s 1st, then the next month is Christmas. If you need me I’ll be in my party planning mode. It’s a zone I get into that is very hard for me to snap out of. I love it though!
2. Aside from party planning I am also gearing up for this year’s Write 31 Days. If you haven’t heard of it it’s a challenge that hundreds (if not thousands) of bloggers take in October each year to write about one topic for 31 days. I won’t give away my whole topic, but here’s a hint: it involves food.
3. Z and SJ have been in school for two weeks now and so far they still actually enjoy getting up and seeing all of their friends along with learning new things. I am pretty sure the long term enthusiasm will more than likely fade with time, but I for one am pumped about having a schedule again. It keeps us all sane.
4. I have two very special guest posts coming up written by some super cool third graders. During one of my summer tutoring sessions Z and his friend did science experiments. Then during the next session I had them write a tutorial for it. I paid them $5.00 each as a commissioned blog post (a lesson in the benefits of writing). I should have had them published by now, but the computer thing has set me back, but you can be on the look out for these guest posts soon.
5. Speaking of the computer set back, I still don’t have all of my old software and documents set up on my new Mac so it’s going to take some time for me to be in full swing around here. I am extremely grateful however to just be able to type at all. I really missed it. I found myself thinking Forget the computer. I wish there was a way I could have a keyboard that would allow me to type out my thoughts. Then I would be happy. That’s when I realized there are ways of typing without a computer and it’s called a typewriter. Face palm. That reminded me of the time I was listening to an audio book and wished there was closed captioning until I realized that’s called a book. Double face palm.

Oh yeah, and if you haven’t seen my guest post on The Humbled Homemaker I would encourage you to check it out. It was so fun to write and I was thrilled to have something published outside of the Messy Mom again. I hope to do that more often. For now though I just need to get caught up with writing on here. One thing at a time.

J and I have a goal as parents to take each child out individually for some special one on one time at least once a year. This tradition in our home doesn’t start until they are five years old. There is no good reason for this, it’s just how it happened naturally for us. I think it is because it’s all about the preschoolers all day long. They are more needy and hoard our attention. They get to stay at home with me when the other kids are in school and they need me to lay down with them until they fall asleep at night. I manage to have incidental bonding time frequently when they are still babies or toddlers, whereas when the children are school age it feels more appropriate to get in the car and go somewhere with just mom or just dad to connect without distraction and to be intentional about it. That’s really how this whole thing got started.

When Z was in Kindergarten we did a mother son knight at Chick-fil-A, and mother son game night at his school.

Then the next year we did mother-son-knight again

and enjoyed a Mother’s Day tea at his school.

In second grade however neither event happened. At least if any mother events did happen I was unaware. One day I realized that we hadn’t had our one on one outing in over a year! He did stuff alone with his dad on more than one occasion, but I wanted my Z time!

So before his birthday or the beginning of 3rd grade I wanted to be sure we had a chance to get out and have some fun just the two of us. We had several grand ideas and nothing seemed to be working out. Which by the way is the reason for the meager goal of a one outing a year. Getting away is always easier said than done. Finally I decided we would just keep it really simple. We would eat out and take a trip to a frozen yogurt shop.

We both cleaned up for the occasion. I wore a dress and he had a button down shirt even though we weren’t going anywhere even remotely fancy. On the way to dinner he had the idea to quiz me on my times tables. We started making a game out of it. He would go through his homemade flash cards and shout out the problem. Then we would come up with an answer in our heads (I am really bad at multiplication or math in general by the way, so this is a challenge for me. However his new obsession has certainly sharpened my memory quite a bit). Once we had the answer in mind we would say Ready and then count to three and say the answer out loud at the same time. If all went well we would say the same thing in unison. If not then we’d laugh and turn the card over to see who was right.

When we got to the restaurant we decided to split a meal. Finally a date that will share a meal with me.

I encouraged him to place the order for us, he had his own money after all. He was a little hesitant, especially when she asked what name to put it under. I had to repeat his name for the worker to understand, but he did really good. When we sat down he gave me a surprise note he had written for me. After we ate he put the receipt in his pocket because he said “I want to show dad that it has my name on it.” What a delight to see my young son growing and maturing right before my eyes. I was so proud of him and I could tell he was beaming with pride too.

After we finished our meal I got a coffee and he got yogurt and we had our dessert on the patio at sunset. The sky was gorgeous. There was even a rainbow.

Before we drove home I pulled out my phone to type in a quick note. I have had a habit recently of typing memories into the notes app on my phone because I am becoming more and more sentimental the older I get. I always put the date and then the memory, but I couldn’t remember the date so I asked Z. He said it was the 9th, but I almost didn’t believe him. That would mean that Elle was turning 9 months old the next day. I said “The 9th!? Are you sure it’s the 9th already?” and he said “Yes I am sure it’s the 9th because my birthday is in 3 weeks and 4 days which is 25 days. It is the 9th.” I just stared at him like, for real? This whiz kid has left me flabbergasted with his random calculations yet again.

There are many well meaning mothering intentions that don’t go as planned and tomorrow I will give several examples, but for today I just wanted to share a simple precious evening that I will forever cherish.

In full disclosure, I did receive some Dapperman products with no strings attached. I chose to include a brief review of some of these lovely items in this gift guide.

My husband J just recently celebrated his 40th birthday (*GASP* I know.). A lot of old photos resurfaced to insure J was properly embarrassed for this special occasion.

As I looked through the cute and often awkward stages that he went through I believe he successfully managed to try all the major hairstyles of the 80’s and 90’s.

I also noticed that once he realized what a killer beard he could grow he never turned back. Despite the changes (and ahem, loss) of hair over the past decade the beard has been an anchor on his face.

So I figured what better gift to get during this time of crisis than something that would nuture the constant in his adult life (his beard) from the other constant in his life (me).

Enter the beard grooming kit. Not all of this is new, but I am showing all of his kit to spur on your own ideas for the bearded man in your life.

Each man’s beard is one of a kind and so is their grooming kit. Mix and match with different products and tools to meet your lumberjack’s personal needs.

Start with a decent bag. You can find these men’s toiletry bags shaving kit bags on amazon such as the David King & Co. Large Multi Pocket Shave Kit

You can also find them at most retail stores like Kohl’s or JCPenney, or  L.L.Bean.

Now that you’ve got your bag you need to fill it with beard grooming tools.

If your man has a beard he probably already has his choice tools. He also probably hasn’t replaced them in a long time so he may be due for an upgrade. J’s bag includes cordless Wahl clippers, scissors, and comb. Everybody man needs a nice pocket comb and they are misplaced frequently so you can never have too many. Definitely put one of these in your kit. Same goes for the barber scissors.

Lastly the bearded man needs products.

J’s kit includes Dapperman Black Egyptian Beard Oil and Beard Balm. He uses them daily and we both love the look, feel, and smell or the product.

Their mission is simple, Do Good. I love that the products are all natural and beyond the surface their vision is to inspire something deeper, something noble. Here is what I found on their website.

 Within every man there is a gentleman. Beyond the noise there are values that need to be remembered, need to be celebrated. Dapperman is about having the confidence to be an individual. To stand up in the face of adversity, and to make the world a better place for those around you. Our business is founded on simple principles: respect, not contempt; pride without ego; lead, don’t follow.

Isn’t that awesome? They have other great products too, so you don’t have to have a beard to benefit from their pomade, “righteous hold matte clay” or soap bricks.

Whether it’s a mustache, stubble, massive beard, or a beard dream, a new shaving kit is sure to rejuvenate that smile underneath all the hair. And when my bearded man is happy it makes me happy too.

This morning after breakfast I spent what felt like an eternity trying to get on Netflix. Our Apple TV remote is busted and you have to touch it in just the right spot with your fingernail to get it to work. Oh, and it can only go down not up. It’s like hacking into DNC’s email just trying to get past parental controls. It is possible, but it takes someone that really knows what they are doing.

Anyway once we were logged in I was pleasantly surprised to see  that The Little Prince was now available for streaming. All 5 of us (myself and 4 kids ages 8 months to 8 years) piled onto the couch and started the program. I was not expecting a full length major motion picture so I was amazed. Wow, I felt like I was watching a pixar short, except it wasn’t short.

The original French story is interwoven into a more modern story and they tie it all together nicely in my opinion.

It’s hard to take a classic and turn into a newly interpreted form of art. Most people that are book readers always agree that the book was better than the movie and that’s probably true here. However, I still loved it. They separated the original aspects from the book via stop motion animation while the rest was computer animation (both media were phenomenal). It was very artistic.

If you read the book it is going to make a lot more sense, but myself and my oldest were the only one who had and the younger ones enjoyed it just as much as we did. In fact kids are a lot more open to nontraditional animations and story lines than adults are. That’s actually a big part of the whole theme in The Little Prince.

My thoughts were this is a kind of weird, but I like it. Weird like Tale of Despereaux (which we own), or The Never Ending Story, or Up, or BFG (okay, I haven’t seen BFG yet, but my son read the book and loved it).If you do not like those books/movies you probably won’t be into this one.

Here are a couple things for parents to be aware of in The Little Prince. Keep in mind there may be some spoilers.

It is a little creepy. There are some very dark characters and intense moments which include a child’s involvement.

I hate to be that mom, but part of what should have been sweet made me uneasy. The main character is a little girl (voiced by Mackenzie Foy) and she sneaks off to hang out with an old man (the aviator voiced by Jeff Bridges). They spend long periods of time in his house. She rides in a car with him without her mom’s permission and he doesn’t even have a license. The cops catch him and she is in trouble for lying, but the mom (voiced by Rachel McAdams) is kind of the bad guy here and the old man is the lovable good guy. I just told my kids “This movie is pretend and it’s fun, but in REAL life you never go hang out with old men or anyone without mom and dad’s permission. It’s never a good idea to be sneaky no matter how fun. In real life that would be extremely dangerous.”

The good news though is the movie, like the book, has a powerful message. Even for parents it’s a message of focusing on what’s really important in life instead of only what is practical. It’s about having an imagination and dreaming!

It is based off of French book that is world renowned and the film is also originally foreign which I think makes it a cultural and educational experience. I love how it ends with Fin instead of The end.

My favorite part though and *spoiler alert* for those who haven’t seen it, is when the mean boss looks at the prince (voiced by Paul Rudd) and he says

“I think it’s time you get back to work my little failure.”

The Prince who has lost his way pauses and then musters up the courage to stand up to the business man and says

“I am not a failure. I’m The Little Prince.” The business men laugh and call him hopeless and then the little prince declares

“I’m not hopeless. I’m hopeful. That’s right I’m full of hope.” And his countenance changes as he reclaims his true identity.

I’m telling you right there in the living room in my pjs I get all pentecostal and I quietly clap and say “Amen. Amen, that’s right.” I had tears in my eyes and prayed that my children were hearing the same message that I was.

If nothing else I was just impressed with Netflix. For $9.99 a month my family can watch a high quality movie in our pajamas the moment it is released. An experience that before would have cost us at least 80 bucks and a trip to  the theater (not that a trip to theater isn’t fun too, but it’s nice to have options).

The Little Prince was a charming, sweet, and inspiring movie. For us it was a real treat.

I may catch some flack for this post in the land of the free home of the 3 month summer vacay, but I am just sharing my personal thoughts here. No pressure.

First off the disclaimer. I am all for kids being kids. I love the idea of learning through play. I agree we need breaks. All of us.

Now for the shock and horror. I think year round school would be the ideal model. I am not not even suggesting more school, just a little more evenly spread.

That’s why my kids do summer school around here.

There I said it, okay? I care about my kids maintaining in June-August some of what they learned academically in September- May.

However, it’s not like I send them off to boarding school or we sit down with books at desks all morning long. It’s super low key, and at this age I have not heard one complaint. When they are older it will probably look different, but here is what it looks like for now.

SJ (first grade) goes to a private school for the deaf and since she has a lot of catching up to do summer school is important. We have done fund raisers, grants, and anything we could come up with for her to be able to attend school through part of the summer. It’s critical for her. Even with the summer program she still sometimes regresses during the 6 weeks  she has off.

Z (3rd grade) truly loves to learn and actually thrives in that traditional school setting. One of his classmates really struggled in school this year and his teacher said he needed summer tutoring  for reading and writing. This was concerning for his family who couldn’t afford a tutor so I told them to sign me up. I may not be a certified teacher, but when it comes to reading and writing I have lots of heart! Plus it’s 3rd grade. I think I can hang at this point in the game. So I’ve been doing homeschool lessons with the boys a few hours a week. I even plan to have them do a guest post here on the blog so be on the look out for that!

Sometimes I wonder why our system is the way it is. Why does it make sense to have such a big break at one time? If we are trying to cultivate a thirst for knowledge then why is there so much push back for learning in the summer? There are different theories on the origin of summer break. Regardless of why it’s always been this way research shows it is failing our students  and my mind wonders if it will ever change.

I talked to my mom about my theory of having the same amount of days off but spread out, and she disagreed at first. She said You always bounced right back after summer break and were all the better for it. Indeed. This is true, but kudos to my mom for inspiring us to read, create, and discover all summer long. I like to say that I am “a homeschool mom trapped in a public school mom’s body” and I definitely get that from my mom. That’s why it makes complete sense that summer break worked for us. Sadly it is the low income income, special needs, ESL, and latchkey kids that are suffering (which means the majority of American children).

Summer is almost over. So far this year my kids have been able to explore other parts of the country, go to museums, VBS, the library, and state parks. We’ve done science experiments, summer reading programs, math games and more. This summer has been full of enrichment.

But before you think I have pedigree children that are fully cultivated let me tell you what else they did all summer long. They watched My Little Pony. I am talking hours and hours at a time. They also discovered the hilarity of America’s Funniest Home Videos. They ran around outside and played in the sprinklers. They got injuries, made huge messes, and were sleep deprived. They also ate gummy worms and tons of other foods void of nutrients. They didn’t do any service projects that I know of. Oh and they bickered A LOT.

I often hear the all or nothing approach when it comes to implementing academics in the summer. It doesn’t have to be that extreme. I really feel like my kids dodged the summer slide by practicing just a small fraction of school work in the summer months and they were still able to have gobs of time to veg out.

The school calendar is a complicated subject, I am not claiming to have a solution on a national level. However, I am saying it could stand to be evaluated.