Pregnancy & Birth

Weaning Feelings and Other Big Emotions

Elle has been weaned from breastfeeding for almost one week now. She is still a little restless at bedtime as she transitions into a new routine, but for the most part I think we’ve completely crossed over. And to put it bluntly I’m all dried up, so that ship has officially sailed.

I am done having babies and nursing. The goat picture will make sense in a minute.

I was talking to my friend with 5 kids, the one who has walked this motherhood journey with me from day one. I was there with her when her first daughter was born and vice versa. She asked me sympathetically how I was feeling, knowing that Elle is our last baby and I will never breastfeed again. I told her I was sincerely fine with this change.

I’ve been pretty vocal about our family planning on the blog, mostly because it’s something that a lot of people don’t talk about and sometimes it’s a random blogger on the internet that makes you feel a little less alone. I know this because I’ve gotten comments and emails from women who have opened up about the confusing emotional decision to not have anymore children.

In our case, I knew Elle was the last one when I was pregnant with her. Shortly after her birth we took the leap into having a permanent birth control procedure. We would love to adopt some day so that makes our finality of being finished having kids a lit more murky. Do I save that cute little dinosaur costume in case we adopt a toddler? But back to the topic of breast feeding, that’s something I know I will never be doing again.

I was ready to be done with breastfeeding. It wasn’t sad for me. I nursed each of my four babies for well over a year and Ezie and Elle were basically two years. So I have paid my dues. I was even starting to resent it a little. That’s how I knew it was time to wean Elle. She’s definitely old enough so that’s not the issue. At this point it is a matter of comfort and bonding. For me I was very uncomfortable being woken up at 2:oo am and I don’t think a disgruntled mother scowling and murmuring is the most positive bonding experience either.

I worked on a goat farm a long time ago and remember watching a not so tiny kid try to get to its mothers teat. As the mother was trying to back away from her child she would turn and bleat. She was done and the kid was old enough to stop. I feel ya momma goat. Even in the animal kingdom some kids need a little extra push and sometimes mommas gotta bleat.

As far as Elle turning two soon. I’m okay with that too, but I am a little wishy washy in my emotions about no longer having a baby. On the one hand I get sad thinking about aging and grown kids. I reminisce about how cute and innocent those precious early years are.

It’s the end of an era, and even with all of the exhaustion it brings, it is a sweet and delightful era.

After I had Elle I was so hormonal watching her daily changes and rapid growth that I was really grieving the thought of not experiencing any of that ever again. So I made a list. A tangible list. I wrote down dozens and dozens of reasons why I look forward to having older kids and no more babies. Eventually those sad emotions just went a way and I swung the other direction. I started counting down the years until I would no longer need a babysitter to leave the house for a moment. I dream about running in and out of stores alone.

I had a conversation with friends recently that made realize how lucky I am to have four really awesome empowering pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding experiences. Still, after spending the past decade pregnant or nursing I am just ready for this next chapter. It’s time.

I have so many more thoughts on this transition, but I’ll just have to do part two, or three, or four even, because I may feel different after Elle turns two. I may feel different again when she turns three and I’ve crossed the threshold for longest time I have gone without being pregnant. Sigh. I’ll just keeping feeling and blogging.

Onward we go, upward they grow. Thank you God for this incredible journey.

By Natalie|2017-09-11T14:42:15+00:00September 11, 2017|Babies & Toddlers, Motherhood, Pregnancy & Birth, Uncategorized|2 Comments

It’s common to loose hair after pregnancy and I am not exempt from this hormonal misfortune.

When I am in those first postpartum months I shed more hair than a Chow on a hot day. I can’t stand it. I decided after my second pregnancy that I would just cut my hair off to make it more tolerable. So that’s what I have done with each baby since then.

I am normally sporting a lengthy mane through pregnancy, but then I have it all chopped off by the time my newborn has cracked their first smile. This method has worked well for me.

So after Elle came I went short with bangs, which was a new look I have never tried before.

I said I wanted the Taylor Swift bob, and the second stylist I went to really nailed it.

Friends and strangers alike were lavishing me with compliments. One woman at church froze in her tracks, grabbed me, and sternly told me to never change my new hair style. It was the most threatening compliment I’ve ever received. Between that and all the people talking about how much younger I look I feel pressure to keep this style. Now hear me out. I like the style, but there are some things I don’t like.

I have naturally wavy hair and in order to maintain the right look for this bob I have to wash, blow dry, and straighten my hair every single day. I don’t though, which means most of the time I look like Dora the Explorer without conditioner.

I can’t let it air dry. I can’t just pull it back into a pony tail. I can’t sleep on it and get up and go. This is really annoying because I am a no fuss kind of gal. I don’t mind getting gussied up every now and then, but for the day to day I like a low maintenance cut. Still, I had committed to trying this for a year. So that means I am half way there.

It’s funny how most of my friends commit to growing their hair out, but then cave. I have the opposite problem. Long hair is my fall back. One day while hiking and getting all sweaty my hair started curling up and my husband mentioned how much he loved and missed seeing my wavy hair.

AH HAH! I exclaimed, pointing at him with an accusing finger as if he had just been convicted of a crime. I knew it! You like my hair long. You haven’t said anything, but I could tell!

He is very sweet and gracious. He says he likes it either way and just wants me to like it. Fast forward a few days later when I was getting ready and complaining about my hair for the umpteenth time and he talked about how he doesn’t like his hair either. He said he wants to grow his hair out, but that’s not really an option (he’s going bald and recently shaved his head). That’s when it occurred to me that I can grow my hair out. The only thing stopping me is the pressure I put on myself. So I am going to cancel my next hair appointment and just let it grow, let it grow. I can’t hold it back anymore…

Go figure. I finally updated my blog profile picture and now I plan to change my look. At this moment it is current though. I’ll give myself a pat on the back for that.

By Natalie|2016-06-10T15:02:57+00:00June 10, 2016|Pregnancy & Birth, Uncategorized|0 Comments

I wasn’t going to do a word for the year this year, but then God just sort of dropped this in my lap and was like Yes you are.

The first way the word “Next” came to me was because I was wondering what this next chapter of our story would be. We have overcome many of the major life hurdles that we have encountered over the past 4 years. We found a house to rent. We had our 4th and final child. My husband completed school and got a job that is an actual career. I feel like we are entering a new season of life and are ready for the NEXT chapter.

Then the word came to me again in something that my Children’s pastor (from way back when) wrote in a comment that she left when I shared my birth story. She said how proud she was of my “determination to just do the next right thing”.

Just do the next right thing.

I had never heard of this quote before, but I have been mentally chewing on it ever since. It fits the scenario of my birth story so well because I had to focus on each thing, step by step. The baby was going to come so I acted on it. After that her head was out and I knew I needed to do one more push and get her body out. After that I knew I needed to wrap her up. After that put her on my chest. After that call the hospital and so on.

There was no planning it out. I was just doing the next right thing. It’s all I could do.

Since then baby Elle has been diagnosed with hearing loss and there is so much that we don’t know. Will she loose all her hearing? Will she have hearing aids? Will she need therapy? For how long? I can’t see the whole picture at all. No one can. It drives me crazy. What I can do is rely on God and just do the next right thing. So there is that word again. NEXT.

Lastly, I feel like the Lord has also prompted me to get help from those NEXT to me. When SJ was diagnosed we had just moved. All of my friends were far away in another state and it was tough. Here we are nearly four years later and I still have friends far away, but I have so many friends that are close by too. All of these women have been texting me, praying for me, and encouraging me. I need that more than anything! I need those neighbors, partners, allies to come along side me and walk NEXT to me as I go through this uncharted territory.

The next season of life. The next right thing. The people next to me.

NEXT.

I can’t wait to see what happensas I continue to unwrap the word and all that it holds for 2016.

By Natalie|2016-01-04T00:16:05+00:00January 4, 2016|My Life, Pregnancy & Birth, Uncategorized|8 Comments

Awaiting the ABR… Again

Elle is now 5 weeks old. She had her one month check up this week and is now 10 pounds 22 inches. The Doctor has been extremely impressed by her growth. Here is a side by side from her first check up and her last which were taken exactly 4 weeks apart. Elle looks completely different.

She is really filling out. No more newborn diapers or clothes for her. She has outgrown them!

There aren’t a lot of updates. She smiles now, but it’s not often.

She still sleeps about 18 hours a day.

I did a little impromptu photo shoot of her on her 1 month birthday.

I love that she was born close to the holidays. I think about how our birth story was so unconventional and I wonder how Mary must have felt and what her birth story would be like (of course we know the story, but not from the perspective of Mary).

We have an important appointment coming up and I would love it if you would be in prayer for us during this time. I previously mentioned that Elle failed the newborn hearing screening. The first time they came in with the equipment to test her the tech lady had a unique personality and was rowdy. I think she was trying to be nice. For most people this is just a routine test. No reason to get too serious, but all kinds of faculty were coming in and out and joking around and making a racket so Elle woke up and was fussy for the second half of the test (the left side). So she failed on the left, but the boisterous tech assured us it was because she woke up and that’s all it was.

The next day a younger new tech came in while it was still dark and quiet in our hospital room. I asked if she could shut the door and maybe hang a do not disturb note or something. She looked at my like I was crazy, but at least it was a much more subdued and calmer atmosphere. She even let me nurse Elle during the test. Again Elle passed on the right, but she couldn’t even get a reading on the left. It was like it wasn’t hooked up right so the tech tried to adjust it. She never was able to figure out what was wrong so she said that she failed and she would refer us to an audiologist. I was hormonal, and tired, and obviously stressed so I sternly proclaimed “We have an audiologist. This is a big concern for us and I’d like to know what is going on” Then J and I asked more questions about the test. None of which she could answer. She looked really intimidated. She had never even heard of Connexin 26 which is the genetic hearing loss that we have in our family. It is the NUMBER ONE CAUSE of sensorineural deafness so you would think someone that tests for hearing loss would have some familiarity with it. I then asked to speak with a supervisor and did, but she mostly just had some paperwork for me.

I immediately called SJ’s school and talked to our audiologist. She made me feel much better about the whole thing and gave me advice on how to proceed.

I know a lot about hearing loss and I think Elle can hear. I feel very confident in that. I guess you could say we know she can because the test confirmed it on the right side. With Connexin 26 it is highly unlikely that it would be unilateral (only on one side) so chances are she is fine.

However, this whole thing brings up a lot of tender memories for me. We have to go through all the same testing that we did with SJ and we have to keep her asleep for 90 minutes which should be easy considering what I said about her sleep, but it’s still completely unpredictable and out of our control so that stresses me out.

I cried when I called and scheduled the appointment. I have openly expressed to people how I know that she is fine and it’s just a machine error which happens all the time. And hearing children do fail this test A LOT.

However, lately there have been other thoughts popping into my head that make me wonder why it was the left ear BOTH times. Maybe just a coincidence? I mean if something is going to go wrong with the test you have a 50/50 chance that it will be on the left side. Still part of me wonders if she has another problem on that side that doesn’t even have to do with Connexin 26. Or what if her hearing gets progressively worse, which can happen. What if she is one of those rare cases?

Luckily, most of these frantic thoughts didn’t really come into my mind until this week so at least I haven’t spent the past 4 weeks panicking.

Please pray that we get some answers with this test. I do have a peace about it, and all in all I think everything is going to be okay, but I hate the idea that if she doesn’t sleep we have to drag this out for another month or so. That would be terrible. I just want this to be over with.

The reason I titled this “Awaiting the ABR… Again” is because I wrote another post about 3 1/2 years ago when I was waiting for this same test for SJ. You can read “Awaiting the ABR” to find out what the test is and what the waiting period was like for me in that time when I didn’t know for sure whether or not SJ was deaf. It feels like a world away.

Thanks for all the prayers and support. Of course I will keep you posted.

By Natalie|2023-06-12T06:29:15+00:00December 16, 2015|Babies, Hearing Loss, My Life, Our Hearing Loss Journey, Pregnancy & Birth|4 Comments

Elle’s Birth Story

When I planned to have my baby at a birthing center that was an hour from our house I got a lot of different reactions from concerned people thinking that would be too far of a drive. However, this was my 4th baby and all three of my other pregnancies and deliveries were pretty consistent. So I felt like I knew my body well enough to get there with time to spare.

Monday (November 9th) gave me NO indication that I was anywhere close to being in labor. It was nothing like my other births where I had mild contractions that built all day long. Nothing was happening. Not even braxton hicks. Plus I was only 37 weeks along.

That night I fell asleep earlier than usually, but I woke up at 10:30 pm and that’s when things got weird.

I was confused by the signs. I had lower back pain and some pressure, but I hadn’t had any contractions. I told J (my husband) that I didn’t feel good and then I felt the first contraction at 10:41 pm.

I called my parents to come stay with the kids who were asleep in bed. I had only had one measly contraction at this point, but my parents live an hour and a half away and I just knew something was up! I tried to relax in a bath which is supposed to slow things down if it’s false labor, but instead I just started freaking out. Not because of contractions, but because I felt pressure. I felt nauseous. I was trembling and it looked an awful lot like transition!

I told J that I was scared and I wanted to go to a closer hospital. I had no idea where or what that would be. I felt so confused and panic set in. J said we just needed to get in the car and go, but I was insistent that we couldn’t go because I didn’t want to bring the kids.

At about 11:40 pm we loaded up the van with our partially packed bags and three groggy kids who were all in footie pajamas. My parents would have to meet us at the birth center. The contractions were strong, but they were still only 10 minutes apart and I was relieved because I assumed that meant we would have plenty of time.

About 11:50 things started getting intense. I was praying out loud. I would sing worship songs through contractions and really tried to stay focused.

Moments later the contractions were coming one on top of the other. As soon as one would stop another would begin and I vocalized this to J. Then we began to pray. I started praying with authority

“Lord, you are in control. I trust in you! I will not have this baby in the car. We are going to make it to the hospital in JESUS NAME. Labor has to stop until we get to safety!”

I was declaring very specific things and I can look back and laugh at it now, but I was serious about it. I have never wanted an unassisted birth. I was not comfortable with the idea of having the baby in the car.

Then when we were about 15 miles away I knew God wasn’t answering my prayer in the way I was hoping. The baby was coming. There is no fighting it. I had done this before and when the baby is ready to be born you can not stop it. So I gave in, and let me tell you the grace and peace of God was all over that van. My mindset changed to being very assertive. It’s weird. I became my own midwife and I narrated everything that was happening out loud. I can’t tell you why I did this, but hey, it worked out.

Here is the dialogue that transpired. J and I were both completely calm. It had to have been the Holy Spirit because even the kids were calm (one was asleep).

Me: Okay. I feel the urge to push. I am taking off my seat belt. I am going to have to take off my pants now.

I had on a long T-shirt and a sweatshirt, and I quickly removed my cotton sweat pants. I was in the front passenger seat with my body slightly tilted and right leg lifted up and apart from my left. Luckily I had brought a towel and had it under me.

J: Do you want me to pull over?

Me: No, by the time the paramedics get here we would have already been to the hospital. Just keep driving.

Plus it was a dangerous freeway and dark and rainy. We both felt this was a safer option given our proximity to the hospital.

J: Do you need any light?

Me: No.

Then I reach down to see if I am imagining it, but I do feel the top of the baby’s head crowning.

Me: Okay I feel the head.

After another contraction her head was out and I had my hands gently cupping her head.

Me: The head is out. Alright. We need the body to come out now. Come on baby girl with the next contraction I am going to push the body out.

Another contraction and a slight push from me. I felt the shoulders and the body being pushed out. I kept my right hand under her head and my left hand scooped her up under her armpit and behind her back.

Me: I am going to wrap her in my pants and put her on my chest now.

And I did

J: She is crying. Good. Does it look like she’s okay?

Me: Yes, she’s fine.

I looked over at my husband as I held my now calm daughter who was so peaceful and perfect. Everything was quiet as we rode along in the dark .

Me: Is this real? Did that really happen… or am I in a dream?

J: Yes. It’s real.

After that we called the birth center (which is inside of a hospital by the way). This was at 12:27 am. There was a team of nurses with a wheel chair waiting for us at the entrance. I felt like a million bucks as we rolled up and they congratulated me and helped me get my shoes back on. I was fully prepared to hop out of the car when it hit me. The adrenaline drained from my body. I was light headed. I felt pain. My “super powers” were gone and I was bleeding. I know that sounds so dramatic, but it really did happen like that.

Since I couldn’t get out of the car they had to put me on a stretcher and roll me into the hospital where a Doctor would check on me and the baby. That’s when I delivered the placenta.

They reminded me to breath and as I did I felt relief. It was over and we were both doing fine, but I knew it would be a while before it all really sunk in.

My parents showed up shortly after that. We all chatted in the hospital room and watched in awe as they washed, weighed, and measured the miraculous little package that had turned our world upside down.

I didn’t expect her to be 2 weeks early. I didn’t expect the labor to be so fast. I wasn’t prepared for any of it. Still, God is Faithful and in the end I am really glad our entire family was together in the brand new mini van that no one is allowed to even eat or drink in! It was really special.

So that’s my fourth birth story.

There’s the one at the birth center, the one in the bathtub at home, the one at the hospital, and now the one in a moving vehicle. Yes there are more options for birth locations, but I think that’s enough adventures for me, at least of this nature.

The End.

Or in Ellis’s case the beginning.

By Natalie|2016-03-22T19:44:41+00:00November 15, 2015|My Life, Natural Living, Pregnancy & Birth|47 Comments

She’s Here

The review I posted Wednesday was already written and scheduled, other than that I haven’t blogged at all since Monday November 9th when I announced baby Elle’s name. The reason for this is because I had baby Elle on Monday night. Technically it was Tuesday morning because it was about 12:25 am when she arrived. There is so much more to the story. SOOOOO MUCH. But for now I just wanted to a quick blog announcement and I will be back next week with lots of photos and updates. Love you all. Have a great weekend!

By Natalie|2015-11-13T22:16:02+00:00November 13, 2015|Babies, My Life, Pregnancy & Birth|6 Comments

The Final weeks of Pregnancy

Whoa… it’s almost baby time! This week is all about preparation because next week I am gong to be full term. Actually that’s not true. I used to think that, but turns out that is “outdated” information. Things have already changed since my last baby!

As USA Today reports (2 years ago)

“Generations of mothers-to-be have heard that babies born any time between 37 and 42 weeks of pregnancy were “at term” — neither too early nor too late. But that is now officially outdated wisdom.

A pregnancy is “full term” only in the narrower two-week window that starts at 39 weeks, under new definitions published in the journal Obstetrics & Gynecology and endorsed by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine.”

Here is the new rundown

• Early term: Between 37 weeks 0 days and 38 weeks, six days

• Full term: Between 39 weeks and 40 weeks, six days

• Late term: Between 41 weeks and 41 weeks, six days

• Post term: 42 weeks and beyond

I found this to be interesting. 37 weeks is still significant though because if I went into labor this week it would be considered “preterm” and therefor high risk. So I would be admitted to the hospital. If I went into labor next week it would be “early term”, but low risk, normal, and healthy. I would have the green light to give birth at the birthing center as planned.

So this week is all about getting stuff done in preparation for baby girl (whose name I am still anxious to announce. I might cave!)

Sunday- ~~Clean out freezer and refrigerator. Stock freezer.~~
Monday- ~~Look at mini van options~~
Tuesday- Research Study (this is not pregnancy related, but it’s an appointment I was already committed to)
Wednesday- Appointment with Midwife, GBS test, scope out hospital and hotel routes with mom
Thursday- WIC appointment (I am getting Ezie, the baby, and I signed up for the women, infants, children nutrition program)
Friday- Appointment at birth center to finalize preregistration paperwork and discuss birth plan!
Saturday- Dad watches kids so J and I can have our “baby moon”

So I have something scheduled everyday and most of it is all baby related. Next week I’ll be packing my bags getting the house ready!!! Hopefully we will have a van by then because that is the last major necessity that has to be taken care of ahead of time. We have a major prospect lined up, but we still have some praying to do before we pull the trigger on it.

Chances are I won’t have the baby until 39 weeks, but I would rather be prepared ahead of time. At least to the best of my abilities, nothing ever works out exactly like I plan. It’s just like when I throw birthday parties. My mind is reeling with to do lists and I think I am covering all the details, but it never fails that I am frantically trying to pull it together at the last minute! It always works out though. This is just another birthday. It’s the birth day and I can’t wait to find out when and how it will all take place.

By Natalie|2015-10-27T11:39:16+00:00October 27, 2015|Pregnancy & Birth|3 Comments

Birth Photography

I know birth photography isn’t for everyone, but for some of us it is such a wonderfully significant milestone it’s worth documenting. I am currently working on doing multiple guest post about my natural birth experiences. I had to dig the digital photos out of the archives to get to my pictures for these blogs, but after looking through all of them and reminiscing I knew I just had to share some of them on Messy Mom.

For how different each one was (birth center, Texas, home birth, water birth, hospital birth, Kentucky…) All of my pregnancies and deliveries have been quite predictable, which is a blessing. Without further ado here are some black and white photos of each stage of my last three pregnancies and deliveries.

The belly

Ah, yes the retro iPod. This was at about 37 weeks with Z.

Full term with SJ

Days before Ezie’s birth.

I tend to carry all of my babies the same I guess. I always gain 25 pounds and I usually don’t get stretch marks… until the end. Ha, you thought I was one of those lucky women, but no.

Labor

My first baby. Laying on the bed at the birth center. J said I was mean. I don’t remember that!

I have almost NO photos of labor with SJ because the photographer and the midwife got there right when it was time to push, but here is one strategically cropped photo of me in the bathtub in our home. I was literally crowning and that’s my midwifes head in the foreground. Sorry if that’s TMI for anybody.

Here is a shot of me swaying with my husband during Ezie’s labor. I did eventually get in the water though after I progressed a little more.

Delivery

I’ll spare your the graphic photos of when Z was born, but J was the catcher and here he is with my midwife the very moment Z was delivered.

Seconds after SJ was delivered.

I don’t even have my arms around Ezie yet in this photo. It’s the very moment he was born.

Meeting the Family

The grandmas meeting our first born.

Big brother and the grandmas meeting SJ at our home birth.

Z and SJ meeting their little brother for the first time.

The First Look

Here are the first close up shots ever taken of my three little angels.

Ezie

Stay tuned for the 4th installment, which will be about a month from now!

By Natalie|2015-10-22T11:48:26+00:00October 22, 2015|Babies, Pregnancy & Birth|8 Comments

3 Year Gap

Tomorrow I am 35 weeks along in this pregnancy! Let’s just say that if history repeats itself (as it has consistently done with all of my other pregnancies) then a month from now I will NOT be pregnant. I might still be in the hospital, but more than likely I’ll have my baby! So, I am getting so very excited, but also nervous.

Even though, yes, I have done this 3 times before it was over three years ago. For some reasons I have forgotten so much since then. All three of my children are 2.5 years apart, like clock work. This will be the first time the youngest is over three years old. It’s not that big of a difference, but somehow it is. I haven’t breastfed in over a year. I haven’t changed a diaper in 8 months. We rarely use a stroller and it’s been a long time since our home has seen a pacifier, crib, or highchair. We have one child proof doorknob, other than we just don’t do baby proof these days.

It wasn’t like that with my other pregnancies. When each child turned two I already knew I was pregnant so we never fully vacated the baby zone.

Obviously a three year gap is NOTHING compared to the many friends and family I know that had surprise pregnancies after 8, 9, or even 10 + years! I could tell you some stories (and you probably have some for me). So I’m not implying it’s a big gap I’m just admitting that I feel slightly more rusty this go round. It’s like I have to loosen those muscles again and make more of a conscious effort to remember what post partum stuff I need or did my belly really stretch this much before!?

I told the midwife that I had a growth spurt. I was convinced this baby was bigger and would come sooner than my other three. As far as we can tell from her exam that is not the case, but I just don’t remember stretching this much!

On the other end of the spectrum I feel like enough of a veteran that I don’t worry too much about what to expect. In fact I feel old when I am on Facebook reading about all these new moms touting what the latest and greatest must-have baby products are.

First I feel old just for being so out of the trend loop and then I feel really, really old because my reaction is usually

Eh, you don’t need any of that overpriced mumbo jumbo. You got some diapers, boobs, and a carseat? Then yer all set.

Yeah, the voice in my head is a hillbilly apparently.

Anyway, I will definitely keep everyone posted. This is the last week that I have no prenatal appointments. After this I’m full term and I’ll be seeing the midwife once a week. At that point it will be all hands on deck as far as nesting, planning, and preparing. You can expect some tunnel vision. I apologize in advance for the lack of diverse content on the blog. It’s baby or bust!

By Natalie|2015-10-19T09:16:41+00:00October 19, 2015|Pregnancy & Birth|8 Comments

While this is not a sponsored post I did receive a complimentary subscription and promotional item in exchange for my review.

I said I would be bombarding you with pregnancy pics and showing off all of my Bella Gravida maternity clothes so here is the first installment!

Last week these packages showed up at my doorstep.

What a treat!

The first outfit (shown on the top left) was a basic black dress by Imanimo. I wanted to like this dress. It was soft sweatshirt material, but modern and chic.

It had so many fun details like the zipper in the back

Or the asymmetrical grey piping and kangaroo pocket in the front.

It’s a cute dress and I did have an appointment this week that it was totally appropriate for, but in the end I would say the dress did not do me any favors. The cut on my body was like wearing a potato sack (you probably can’t tell from these poses, but just take my word for it). Oh well, it was still worth a try! That’s one of the perks of Bella Gravida maternity rental wear. You can try stuff without any obligation to keep it, but if you do love it they do have purchasing options available.

Next up I got to try this Everly Grey Eunice Dress. It was much shorter than I expected, but I paired it with leggings so it was more like a shirt.

The first day I wore it I got to go on a little coffee date with J followed by attending Z’s graduation from his robotics class. It happened to be really cold that day. The red lips, boots, and trench coat made it such a classic autumn look. I loved it and wore it again to church the next day.

Lastly, I had a similar look with with this lightweight knit sweater. It’s perfect for this unpredictable weather because you can stay cool when it warms up, but it’s not summery. Coincidentally it’s called the Evelyn Top and Evelyn is what we plan to use as our baby girl’s middle name. Ahhhh! Did I even just say that!? I’ll admit, I have had a really hard time not just announcing the name.

As long as I’m talking about baby stuff, I should mention that I am 33 weeks now. I feel like she is going to be a fairly big baby. I probably have just forgotten what it feels like to be “with child”, but my stomach is so heavy and tight! The braxton hicks have been increasing and so has the insomnia. Also, I am all over the map emotionally. Last week I felt invicible whereas this week I have felt a ton of anxiety, but I am hanging in there.

I have been more intentional about taking ALL of my vitamins. I want to be in tip top shape when it comes time for labor. My next prenatal appointment is on Monday. I’ll be sure to give updates on that and my next Bella Gravida package!

This whole rental maternity fashion experience has been awesome, but it’s even better getting to share it with you, so thanks for that!