Week Seven is in the books. It was interesting because we officially started “reopening Ohio”. Granted not much changes. I did get a text from our dentist office wanting to reschedule missed appointments so that was kind of refreshing to see.

It’s really weird how all of this is rolling out. I heard in a press conference that the shut down was like turning off a light switch. It happened all of a sudden, like the flip of a switch. Everything immediately went black. However, opening the state back up is not turning the light back on, it’s using a dimmer to gradually add a little bit of light at a time.

It’s been intense to see the reactions of this reassimilation. Most people seem really unhappy right now. They are angry that the government isn’t moving quickly enough. Other people are upset that the government is moving too quickly. It’s a lot to process.

Most of my kids are still struggling with distance learning. It is not going great. So I am bummed about that and the fear that this coming school year will be affected in some way. I am also bummed that my 6th grader doesn’t get to have an elementary school graduation. I know that sounds silly, but allow me to quote myself from a blog post I wrote earlier this year called “Big Year for Z”

In May, at the end of the school year, all the faculty and students line the halls of the school and the 6th graders walk through the crowds one final time before graduating elementary school. Everyone claps, cheers, and gives high fives to the graduates. It’s always made me tear up even when it was for kids that didn’t know at all! I imagine I’ll be a big ball of emotion this year when it’s Z making that walk symbolizing the transition into this next stage.

It’s something I’ve looked forward to since he was in Kindergarten and saw the big kids get their “clap out” (I didn’t know that was a thing until then). I know it’s not the same as a high school senior by any means (God bless them and their families right now) but it was meaningful to me. So I cried when I realized that he would miss that opportunity.

On the bright side, there have been some sweet moments from this quarantine time. This past weekend we started a garden.

We weren’t going to this year because we would be traveling. I had big plans (I blogged about that too). Another plan bites the dust.

There is a quote from Dwight Eisenhower that says something to the effect of “Plans are useless, but planning is indispensable”. I think what it means is that you can never predict the exact outcome and plans inevitable change. However, it’s the dreaming, problem-solving, or strategy that you drum up that gives you direction and motivation.

Plans don’t always roll out perfectly, but either way, planning has a purpose. That’s reassuring to me because of how many times do I have a plan and it gets ripped away from me?

I planned the family trip of a lifetime and now the coronavirus ruined it.

Or the time I had the perfect birth plan! Then the baby was born on the way to the hospital.

Or what about last month when I planned meals for all thirty days of April, only to have a tornado knock out our power for three days and force us to eat out.

I take great stock in the verse “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps”. It’s nearly impossible for ANY OF US to plan much of anything these days because the top doctors, world leaders, and scientists do not know what the rest of the year will look like. We just don’t know. Earlier this year I read Lysa Terkeurst’s book “It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way”. It’s really great and I recommend it. She talks about being a planner and in Chapter Ten she said somethings that I related to so much when I read it last year and it definitely still applies now. Terkeursts says

“Whatever your situation is, you probably feel like you can’t change it, but you still have to live through the realities of what happening right now. Sometimes you just have to walk in your ‘I don’t know’…What if settling down and all your disappointments going away would be the worst thing that could happen to you? What if your ‘I don’t know’ is helping you, not hurting you? What if your ‘I don’t know’ is helping you let go of things you aren’t supposed to know because that knowledge would be too heavy a burden for today? But the One you do know, the Lord, is so perfectly capable to bear it all.”

Colossians 1:11 says “God will strengthen you with His own great power so that you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient.”

Lord, help me to trust you as I walk through this season of “I don’t know”.