Messymom – Page 38 – Making the Best of What Looks Like a Mess

Look Back and Laugh 001 {Experimenting With Essential Oils}

Who’s ready to stop thinking about all the chaos in the world and have a little laugh? I am willing to let it be at my expense if that’s what it takes. This is my first time hosting a link-up so if anyone wants to participate in the future feel free to join in. For now I just plan on trying to post one every Tuesday and keeping it casual. However, any and all Look-Back-and-Laugh links are welcome anytime (check out the guidelines for more info). If you do share a link I will be the first one to jump over and read it. I am sure I will be laughing right along with you.

My first Look Back and Laugh is about experimenting with essential oils.

In 2004 another diet book hit the scene called The Maker’s Diet by Jorden Rubin. This was before I had kids and I was exploring an alternative wholistic lifestyle while working on a farm tending chickens and milking goats. So I bought the book and delved into the philosophy of treating my body the way The Maker had intended (it lasted a month or so).

In chapter 11 Dr. Rubin talks about using essential oils as they are referenced in the Bible. Keep in mind this was over ten years ago before anyone was into essential oils at all. At least no one I knew had heard of them. So consider me a pioneer, or maybe guinea pig is a better description. The idea fascinated me and I ran out to the health food store and picked up a couple bottles of these concentrated elements.

One of the oils was Cassia:

“a species of the genus Cinnamomum, known for it’s effective antibacterial and antiviral agents that God provided to protect the Israelites from disease.”

I figured if it worked for the Israelites I might as well give it a try. So I went through the instructions given in the book.

“Place a few drops of one of the biblical essential oil blends on your palm, making several clockwise circles with your fingers. Then rub your palms together and cup them over your nose and mouth. deeply inhale the aromatic vapors.”

As I was breathing in the essence of the oils it filled my senses with the sweet fragrance of cinnamon.

Ah… exhale.

The joys of healthy biblical living. How nice.

Oh my. I am starting to feel a little tingle.

Ouch… okay my face burns a little bit.

Oh God help me! I think my face is on FIRE! AHHHH!
I look in the mirror and the entire area around my mouth and nose was swollen and bright red. I panicked thinking that I was having an allergic reaction. I was about to seek medical attention, when I read further down in Dr. Rubin’s directions “HIGHLY CONCENTRATED, not for topical use. Burning sensations may occur. If irritation occurs apply vegetable oil immediately.”

Obviously I lived to tell about it, but I never tried that form of aromatherapy again.

By Natalie|2016-04-12T07:28:56+00:00April 12, 2016|Laughter|3 Comments

Messy Blog

Every once in a while I have to do some house keeping on the blog. If you know me, or even if you just note the name of my blog, I am not that great at house keeping. This is why my blog is a mess. It might not look like a mess to you, but if you could see behind the virtual walls you would find broken links, outdated articles, and probably some messed up code.

It was a year ago that I launched The New Messy Mom Blog and basically I am ready to do that again. I won’t be doing a new site this time, but I will be taking the time to clean out ALL my old blog post.

Here is what this means. I am going to be going through over 1,500 blog entries! A lot of them I need to throw in the trash, but some I will update, and some I am basically rewriting and republishing.

Last year I took a big step by changing to self hosting, having a custom design and incorporating some high quality videos like my welcome video and gender reveal video. I started having sponsored posts, and reviews, as well as some giveaways. It was a good year, but I have so much more that I want to do and I’ve got to take care of some maintenance stuff before I can really move forward.

So I’ll be sharing old stuff remixed, some new stuff that I am really excited about, and regular family updates. Thanks for following and supporting me. I am sorry the site has been down so much. I know I have announced that it was fixed in the past, but hopefully that really will happen soon.

I’ll sign off with a recent photo of baby Elle and my new haircut just because I don’t think I posted any here on the blog.

Happy Monday everyone.

By Natalie|2016-04-11T13:38:46+00:00April 11, 2016|My Life|6 Comments

Getting Emotional About the Last Baby

While in Texas last week I got to spend some time with Connie (the pastor’s wife at the church where we did ministry for many years). She is the same age as my mom and always has so much valuable wisdom to impart. When talking about motherhood Connie reminisced about her only daughter graduating from High School and leaving for college. This was close to 15 years ago when she was about to become an empty nester and her daughter asked her Are you going to miss this?

Connie replied

Yes. I am going to miss you, but I have always missed every stage that you have gone through. I missed having a little baby around, I missed the toddler stage, and when you turned 16 and no longer needed me to drive you around I missed that. But then I also always looked forward to the next stage. I get to watch you grow and discover new things.

That’s it. That’s what I have had to remind myself over and over. It’s hard knowing that aside from whatever could happen with potentially adopting a chid we are done having children. Baby Elle is the last time I will experience so many of these things and it’s all happening so fast! I’ve been a bit of an emotional wreck over it.

I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes and I’ll admit I have done that when I have read lengthy status updates about someones first baby turning one and how the world is ending because their baby is “all grown up”. Then I know plenty of other people that are just shy of detesting babies/toddlers and toast cheerfully to each passage toward independence.

I don’t do change quite so well.

Ten years ago I was so reluctant to have children. I never wanted to disrupt the connection between my husband and I or our childless freedom. I could hardly fathom life tied down with babies. Now that J and I have children of our own our relationship has definitely changed, but it’s become so much deeper and stronger. We both wish we would have started our family sooner!

Then when I had Z my world changed forever as I stepped into the role of mom. I didn’t want to upset that relationship either. I don’t know how many mothers I have talked to who have all said the same thing- I don’t know how I could ever love another child as much as I love this one. Then they had the next child and the love only grew. I do have a soft spot for those first two years of motherhood when it was just Z and I, but there is nothing like getting to watch siblings interact and bond with one another. You not only get to love more children, but you get this amazing gift of watching them bond and love each other. It’s amazing!

Every stage so far has had it’s pros in cons. You trade in sleepless nights for power struggle days cushioned by adorable phrases of overwhelming cuteness. Then chubby little faces turn into grins with missing teeth. Before you know it you begin to connect on a deeper level and have conversations about history, and ride bikes together, or play board games where you are actually challenged. That’s as far as I’ve gotten so far, but I see a pattern. It keeps getting better. I wouldn’t trade any of it.

I’m sure this stage of parenting is just like the other stages that I was reluctant to embark upon. If I had only known all the joy and fulfillment that was coming I might not have been so hesitant. I know there are parts of this season of life that I will miss, isn’t that always the case? But for now I am just soaking it all up. Living in this moment that is a gift from God and knowing that there are so many more new and wonderful memories that await.

Of course I sound all sentimental and peaceful now, but we’ll see how I feel in 15 years. Shoot, with the way my emotions swing you can ask me how I feel tomorrow. For now, I can handle the bitter sweet fact that my babies will not stay babies forever.

By Natalie|2016-04-07T12:22:09+00:00April 7, 2016|Babies & Toddlers, Motherhood|1 Comment

Personality Tests

I have been reading H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick while we are out of town for spring break and it has been really enlightening.

In the chapter “A Habit of Self- Discovery” Lomenick suggests several different personality tests and recommends reviewing the results side by side looking for echoes.

The first test I did was similar to a Strength Finders test and found that my main talent (according to this test) is “Believing”.

The results showed that

Individuals with the Believing talent can have a solid set of core values by which they choose to live. This talent can enhance ethical standards and integrity, and when presented with alternative paths will tend to choose the ‘right one’.

As I said at the beginning of the year my word for 2016 is “Next” as in just do the next right thing. So that’s was a cool confirmation.

The next test I took was the Myer’s Briggs. I have taken this before, but I always forget what the 4 letters are. It looks like I am an ENFP (extraverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving). Everything I have read about this personality seems to fit my own.

The last one I did was DISC which was also neat. These are my results in a nutshell.

Out of all of these results I realized that I am really high on the emotional strengths and lower on the structured ones. For example some of my highest strengths are being a positive, motivating, harmonious unifier. The things I am the most lacking in are being commanding, responsible, strategic, deliberate, and disciplined.

As I have mentioned before J and I are opposite. When we chose our core values for our family mine was compassion and his was self control. We are apart on love language too. Mine has always been words of affirmation by a landslide and his is acts of service. Acts of service are almost pointless to me. I appreciate them, but they don’t make me feel more loved. I guess we balance each other out.

According to H3 Leadership personality tests are a way to “step outside of yourself and more clearly survey how you’re built.” It’s an emotionless snapshot of you identify, gifts, and passions.

Have you taken any of these tests? What areas do you thrive in the most?

By Natalie|2016-03-30T21:18:59+00:00March 30, 2016|My Life, Uncategorized|2 Comments

Create Your Own Speech Therapy Book

When SJ was first diagnosed with hearing loss I was encouraged to create an experience book. Books are a great resource for speech delays anyway, but a book that has pictures and experiences that your child can directly identify with is even better.

I try to make a new one every year so that we can expand on what she has learned. Here is a look at how easy it is to create and implement.

First Words

The first book was the most basic both in it’s design and the words that were in it. For this one all you need is

4×6 photo album
Pictures of your child or objects that are familiar
Index cards to spell out the words you are encouraging the child to say

I chose words like hurt along with a picture of SJ with a boo boo

or sleep with a pic of her sleeping.

Trash is a word you may not find in your typical “first words” book, but trash (or some people say garbage) is a word we use everyday. That’s the beauty of customizing your own language book. You get to choose what to put in it.

When we first made this book we weren’t even ready to start with saying words we were mostly working on the ling sounds like “Shhhhhh” for sleeping or “mmmm” for eating. Eventually she learned all the words and it was time to make a new, more advanced book!

First Sentences

At this point she was learning the names of everyone in the family

Along with the places we visited frequently (like the grocery store, museum, or school).

When we started the book we kept it very simple and I had her repeat the words “Breakfast” “Lunch” “Dinner”. Eventually she started saying sentences and so we could expand to say “I see my teacher”. You can show a picture of a friend or a teacher, but it’s more meaningful to the child when they see their friend or their teacher.

Early Reading and Abstract concepts

She got this book for her birthday and she absolutely LOVES it. For this book I wanted to put in some sentences that she could read on her own because she is learning to read now. So for example “I love my family” is not expanding her speech because that is a sentence she has been able to say for a while now, but it’s simple enough to read. SJ loves to point to and sound out all the words.

Then I included parts that are a little more difficult to read, but they are words and ideas that I hope she will start to have a better understanding of. For example, this page says “Sometimes I am sad, but I still obey mommy and daddy because that is a good choice. If I make a bad choice I say I am sorry. Mommy and daddy love me when I am happy or sad. They will always love me.”

This can certainly apply to any child, not just special needs. My oldest son has recently requested that I make a book for him and I plan to do that next.

Now let’s look at the progression

If the first book says “School”

The next book says “I go to School at Ohio Valley Voices”

Then the next book says “I go to School at Ohio Valley Voices in Loveland Ohio”

It’s been so rewarding to watch SJ learn to communicate. I am really grateful that the idea for this was introduced to me and I hope it can be helpful to others.

Both of the hardback photo books shown here are from Shutterfly and I cannot recommend them enough. Right now there is a promotion going on for a free 8×8 photo book just like the one I’ve shown on here. The coupon code is ” SPRINGONIT “It expires tomorrow (March 22, 2016) so I know that’s not much time, but I will tell you that the Shutterfly website makes it so easy to throw these books together, so it doesn’t take much effort and they turn out beautifully. If you miss this offer you can catch the next one. Just Like Shutterfly on Facebook or sign up for their email to be in the know on the latest deals.

Your child will love seeing their pictures in print and you will love hearing them say all the new words. It’s a simple, but wonderful tool all the way around.

By Natalie|2023-06-12T06:33:06+00:00March 21, 2016|Babies & Toddlers, Creativity, Hearing Loss, Schooling, Special Needs, Speech Therapy|1 Comment

A Brief Update

Happy St. Patrick’s day. I never remember this holiday and this is the first year I dressed my kids in green. That’s actually not true at all. They dressed themselves. Including SJ who apparently does not own one single piece of green clothing except for this hand me down flower girl dress.

I guess that means fancy dress it is! The kids were so excited about this day that at the last minute I made a shamrock for SJ’s lunch using a green apple and kiwi.

SJ loves green apples and kiwi are her favorite, so this is not just about aesthetics. It will be eaten!

Yesterday was a busy day. I had a doctors appointment with my GP and then we met with the geneticist at the hospital after that. All of this hearing loss stuff has always been about my daughters, but now that I am in the mix thank to the genetic testing it is allowing me to pursue getting some real help with my hearing problem. I will have my first ENT visit on Monday and maybe I’ll get a hearing aid after that. According to my test results I only have a 65% word recognition in my left ear and 80% in my right. So if I ever laugh at something that was not supposed to be a joke or say you’re welcome when you didn’t say thank you, now you understand why. It’s a serious problem that I have just learned to live with, but I am looking forward to finally getting to the bottom of it!

So there has been a lot going on plus we’re about to travel to Texas for spring break. I say all of this to warn you that I might not be blogging as much for a while. I will still be here and I will still be writing, but actually some of my latest writing time hasn’t been on the blog because I am currently working on two books. I rattle that off like it’s nothing, but I’ve never written a book before. So it is definitely something, but who knows what will come of it.

Anyway I just wanted to touch base in case it looks like I have fallen off the grid for a while, but it may not even be that big of a deal. Time will tell.

Have a great weekend.

By Natalie|2016-03-17T14:47:17+00:00March 17, 2016|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Identity and the Internet

Sometimes I wonder if I would be as creative or motivated if it weren’t for social media. Kind of like if-a-tree-falls-in-the-woods-and-no-one-hears-it-does-it-make-a-sound kind of thing. Do I worry too much about sharing and not live in the moment enough?

Those of you my age and older are some of the lucky few in the history and future of the world that have had the opportunity to live life before the internet, while also getting to watch society progress with the advancements of the world wide web. It’s pretty awesome when you think about it.

Feeling like I now have some responsibility to share my knowledge with the future generations I wrote this letter to my children (and their generation). I’m sure by the time they read this a lot of the latest websites and apps will be obsolete, but the core message remains the same. Here it is.

Dear Post-Millennial Children,

I was born way back in 1982. It was a bad year for hair and makeup (in my opinion) but it was a good year to be born and I’ll tell you why. I am one of the last ones to remember a childhood without Wi-Fi or high school without social media. No, this is not another lecture about how when I was your age I was content just looking out the window on car rides. This is a different message. This is a lesson about your identity.

I struggle with this even now. Sometimes I wonder if I really enjoy writing or if I just want people to read my blog. But then I have the luxury of knowing that before I was blogging I was writing. I’ve always had a passion for writing, even before it ever hit cyberspace.

Other times I wonder if I would be inspired to throw fun theme parties if not for Pinterest. Then I remember that I’ve always loved to throw parties. From the birthday party I planned for my dog as a child, to the fun bachelorette parties I planned for friends. All of that was before the age of Pinterest. Same goes with my photography, my friendships, my “outfit of the day” and everything else. When my identity feels lost on the Internet I can at least reach back and remember that I have been the same person I am today with or without the online exposure. I won’t let the internet take credit for my interests nor will I allow it to steal my joy.

Your experience will be different than mine, but I want you to know that the screen does not define you.

Just be yourself no matter what. I don’t care how many likes you get on Instagram or how many shares on Tumblr (Is that a thing? Did I spell it right?) I don’t care if your embarrassing YouTube video goes viral or your cool video tanks. Your identity is not found on the Internet. Social media can trample your ego just as fast as it inflates it; you have to be grounded in the truth on and off-line.

The truth is that you have been blessed with talent. You have your own unique style. Above all, you are valued.

Believe in yourself and be yourself because “the Internet” doesn’t know you like real life people do.

When Social media becomes a sad depressing place feel free to step away from it all and unplug for a bit. There was life before the iPhone believe it or not.

I know you may think that I’m out of touch with what’s trending, and that’s probably true, but I also know what it’s like to feel lost in the vastness of all the messages that you absorb online. Those trends are going to come and go, but always remember you are a fearfully and wonderfully made individual and your voice matters.

Trust me. I should know, because I’ve been around longer than the Internet.

By Natalie|2018-01-24T10:43:34+00:00March 14, 2016|Parenting Tips|8 Comments

Elle at 4 months

Elle has had a major growth spurt over the past month. It’s like someone pulled the cord on a self inflating raft and she just instantly filled out. She is currently sitting at 14 pounds of super cute chunkiness.

Here she is doing some tummy time in her Dr. Seuss diaper. I held back on cloth diapers the first couple months because I was just trying to get back on my feet.

Now that I am back into my routine I’m starting to feel so much better, physically and emotionally.

There aren’t too many developmental milestones to report other than that Elle is getting stronger and more curious.

She appears to be my first thumb sucker of the bunch (just like her momma was) and she is also starting to explore by wanting to put things in her mouth.

We just love having her around!

By Natalie|2016-03-11T16:19:01+00:00March 11, 2016|Babies, My Life|2 Comments

Mornings as a Deaf Child With Cochlear Implants

The other day someone asked me about SJ’s cochlear implants. The person I was talking with had never heard of them before. I hadn’t either before I had a deaf child. They are such a huge part of my life now that I forget that it’s not “normal” and there are still a lot of things people don’t understand about the procedure and the device.

So I had the idea to share a day in the life of a child with a cochlear implant (CI), but it would probably take a day to write so I am going to break it up a bit. We’ll start with the beginning of the day.

Keep in mind these routines aren’t the same for every child with hearing loss and things will change as each child advances in their journey, but for now this is what it’s like for SJ.

CI recipients wear their processors about the same amount that the visually impaired would wear glasses. The way it was described to me was that “The Three S’s” remind you when to take them off “Shower, Swim, Sleep” So SJ wakes up in silence. She had severe/profound hearing loss already, but when someone has the cochlear implant surgery it damages whatever preexisting hearing they had. So when the processors are off she hears nothing at all.

For now I wake her up, but many years from now when she is on her own there are special deaf alarm clocks that vibrate and there is a variety of options to choose from.

Some children may like to put their CIs on the moment they wake up. SJ doesn’t. She likes to ease into her day and have things quiet at first. I mentioned this to my family and my sister in law (who is hearing) said she is the same way. Makes sense to me. I’m not much of a morning person either.

Anyway, SJ can talk without wearing her processors. She sounds the same either way except she is usually oblivious to her volume. Kind of like when someone is wearing headphones and they don’t realize that they are shouting. So I have to remind her to speak softly when this happens. She also reads lips and signs, so we manage pretty well in the mornings before she puts her processors on. It isn’t long though before she has to be dressed and ready for school. That is when she puts her processors on.

The processor is the part that allows her to hear (shown in the photo above in white, the round part is a magnet) and the implant is inside her head (shown on the left). She calls the processors her “implants” because that word is easier to say. I wrote more extensively about the equipment in the post “All About The Cochlear Implant“.

Technically SJ can put her processors on all by herself, but it’s not easy. So for now I usually do it for her. When she is bigger they will simply hook on her ears and stay put, but right now her ears are just too small. They don’t make child size cochlear implants so a 1 year old wears the exact same processors as an adult. There are multiple options for children to keep the processors on though. SJ uses special headbands that my sister in law makes for her.

At Christmas she gave her some new sparkly ones and SJ has been thrilled to have more options to choose from.

You can get more elaborate with the CI headbands, but SJ’s are as simple as they look. It’s just a headband with an elastic loop.

Sometimes she doesn’t wear headbands and on those occasions we keep the CIs in place with toupee tape.

That pretty much covers the whole morning routine. After that she is hearing and ready to head out the door and go to her deaf school!

By Natalie|2023-06-12T06:22:41+00:00March 9, 2016|Cochlear Implants, Uncategorized|5 Comments

The Big Six

SJ turned 6 years old on Friday. If you have spent any time around MessyMom.com then you probably know I like to party. SJ has had a Cupcake Party, Green Eggs and Ham Party, Donut Party, and Tea Party. However as I said in my blog post “How to avoid overboard kid parties” I don’t do theme parties every year and this is an off year. That doesn’t mean that we don’t have fun though! SJ still had a fabulous birthday and I still got to cherish all those gigantic smiles with FOUR teeth missing.

I started the day by sneaking in her room to hang some streamers in the door and throw some pink balloons on her bed. This might sound fancy, but trust me it was nothing you are going to see on pinterest. She woke up late so all 5 of us snuck into her room to surprise her (not hard to do with a deaf girl). We sang happy birthday as a family and she was beaming!

Her birthday outfit was a shirt I got from a yard sale that had a number 5 on it, but I covered it with a pin that said “I am 6” and she also wore her cupcake headband from last year which was from a conisgnment shop.

No slaving over the oven this year. The cupcakes I sent with her to school were store bought and the 13×9 cake that we ate that night was all from a box.

My parents and nieces and nephew came over for her “party”. It worked out great because they were going to come over anyway because their mom just had a baby and needs to rest. It made for a really great surprise birthday slumber party though.

Decorations $2

Birthday accessories $6

Birthday desserts $10

Birthday joy- Priceless

So as you can see it was definitley a low budget simple year and I know SJ still loved it just as much as the years I go all out.

The fun continued on Saturday since the family was still around to hang out and ride scooters.

Then Sunday she graduated to the big girl class at children’s church and yesterday she had her first daddy/daughter date.

That’s the last of it though. The birthday festivities are officially over until next year, which may or may not be a theme party. I’ll warn you though, if an idea sparks, there is no stopping me!