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Kindergarten and Common Core

If you somehow stumbled upon this blog post looking for a deeper understanding of what Common Core is, I am not your gal. I still don’t totally get it. I was told it was the new national content standards and not a curriculum, but it seems like there is curricula attached to these new content standards in some form or another. 

When I went to meet the teacher night at the beginning of the year I am pretty sure that Z’s Kindergarten teacher talked about it, but I just remember her saying that they were going to be expecting a lot more this year and they would be packing a lot of information into a short amount of time. I personally was excited to hear that because I wanted Z to be challenged. 
I admit that I had some issues at the beginning of the year regarding Z being in Kindergarten instead of 1st grade, but now the school year is almost over and I haven’t regretted the decision to place him public school at all. In fact, I have felt like he has had private school treatment. I won’t go into all the details right now, but one reason I know that they have customized his assignments is because the first week I showed up for the parent orientation night they had these projects hanging in the hall and while all the other children dictated “David’s instructions” Z wrote his out himself.  
It’s hard to see because it’s in pencil, but his is the 2nd down on the right column. At the beginning of the year Z was tested on some basic kindergarten skills and he exceeded the year-end goals in every area. Even then, he still has learned so much more than what he went in with! Here I was concerned that he would become stagnant or bored, and it turns out that I had nothing to worry about. When SJ is mainstreamed she will have an IEP which will include some pull-out sessions. So she need special attention as well, but in a completely different way. Needless to say I have a vested interest from both ends of the spectrum, believe me. 
As far as Common Core, I have heard a lot of controversy. I don’t even watch the news, but it’s kind of hard to avoid the viral math problems that have been circulating. Z’s school had a seminar for parents to attend and learn more, but it was on a night that I could not come out. Fortunately they had a webinar later which included participation via live messages. I was impressed that the school would facilitate an option like this and I tuned in the entire time and I did ask a few questions. I still don’t understand the ins outs of both view points regarding the political hot button, but it’s boiled down to one thing for me, my children. When I see things like this on the internet I cringe. 
Then I read one article after the other of parents choosing to take their kids out of public school because they suddenly started doing poorly. If it was just here or there I wouldn’t think anything of it, but there must be a legitimate cause if it is happening at an alarmingly increased rate across the nation.  
But at the end of the day my son is excelling and he has a very loving teacher that makes learning something to get excited about. I don’t know what this means for each and every public school, but I don’t have the energy to fight for the all of the students of the nation today. Although, I am grateful for those that do. I consider myself an involved parent that makes informed decisions to the best of my abilities and I have not seen any evidence of this controversy having a negative impact on my son’s education so far. In fact I saw this homework assignment posted online under the title “Epic Fail- Parents Reveal Insane Common Core Worksheets” 
The complaint in this case was that common core homework makes it necessary to keep a supply of brass fasteners on hand. The funny thing is, my son had the exact same worksheet with a brass fastener taped to the front. People are circulating these so-called atrocities that really have more to do with individual teachers, schools, and even students, but not necessarily a reason for a revolt. I am not saying that there is nothing wrong with the system. I have seen red flags myself, but I am completely satisfied with how Z’s school is handling everything at this point and I have been assured that they are using local curricula and teachers are teaching with the same liberties they have had. 
With that said, I am prepared to keep tabs on everything, but I am also pleased to announce that we have had a very successful first year. I am grateful that Z is getting started now because by the time he is doing some of those wacky math problems hopefully they will have worked out all of the kinks. Anyway, I know plenty of people that didn’t have their child’s first year go so smoothly so I consider myself very blessed to be in this place at this time. What a relief. 
By |2015-05-18T05:19:58+00:00April 19, 2014|Schooling, Uncategorized|2 Comments
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Healthy Outlets

We all have different ways of letting off steam. Some people de-stress by knitting, others like to take it to the gym. I personally have always found writing to be therapeutic (surprise), for J it’s playing guitar. Not that it’s limited to one activity, but I think it’s important that we find ways to connect with our emotions and clear our minds every once in a while.

Z has been at an interesting stage lately. He still has meltdowns, but he’s the only one I don’t have to worry about throwing an uncontrollable fit when it’s time to leave the park. It’s a beautiful thing to watch this level of control develop. Some days are better than others, but it won’t be long before he catches up to J in terms of temper tantrums (okay, I’m kidding). Besides just managing emotions, I have noticed something else. He is finding his own unique way of self expression.

Several months ago (Just before Z turned 6) he began to secretly write some of his frustrations out on paper when he was mad or upset. I know a lot of children do this, but as far as my observation among my friends it’s especially common for girls. The one that made me cry was when his grandparents were in town. It was time for them to head back to Texas so we walked down to their mini van and said our goodbyes. Z seemed totally fine, but after a while of not hearing a peep out of him I peeked in his room. I noticed he was drawing and I asked him about it.

He showed me a picture of the family crying in-between the van and the apartment building. I said, you miss grandma don’t you? That’s when the big tears that had been forming became too heavy to hold back anymore, and he just broke down. We called grandma and she suggested he count down the days until our Christmas trip to Texas and mark them off daily.


November-February were taped together like a calendar on his wall.

Z responded well to that idea. Later we printed December off the computer and he drew a car on the day that we were leaving and returning and put happy faces on the days we would be there.

 This wasn’t the only time he used drawing/writing to express his emotions, but it’s not always this sweet. Sometimes when Z is mad at me he will disappear to his room and write something like “I wish I was never born” or “dad is bad” or one time I found the words “I don’t like mom” crumpled up on the floor after we had a big argument. I picked it up, flattened it out and read it, but he very defensively said he was joking. I told him that I didn’t believe that and I was sad that he felt that way, but if he was ready we could talk about it. Then he said “Well, I didn’t mean it. That’s why it’s trash.” We talked about it and everything was fine. Even when it is hurtful I encourage this type of outlet because we all have to vent, and he is finding a healthy way to decompress at a very young age. How awesome is that?

I get it, because it is JUST LIKE ME. I received my first journal when I was in 2nd grade. It was a Secret Garden journal from my aunt in California. I got it for Christmas and it even had a lock and key! Then when I was in high school I started writing poetry. I have a little notebook full of pages of poetry. Poem after poem of all of my hopes, fears, and pain. Some of them were really dark. Thank goodness I used journals to cope instead of drugs right? Actually, I was never offered drugs. Still, I like to believe I chose to stay away from them (wink wink).

Yesterday after being told he was done playing the wii for the day, and then throwing a monstrous baby fit about it, he was sent his room. Moments later a paper airplane crashed just short of me with a message on it.

With broken spelling it said “If you treat me that way then I guess you don’t care about me and I see you don’t love me either” on the back it said “read and then sign here _________”. So I signed it and wrote “I will always care about you and love you no matter what, in good times and bad”. Then he signed it and wrote “thanks for the note” We had a talk about whether his behavior was respectful or disrespectful and he recognized his poor choices and that was our big melt down for the day. It was dramatic for sure, but a lot of maturity has happened in the past two years.

Z showing off the first time he tied his shoes.

I mention this because Z, as the first born, has been quite the pioneer in teaching me when to expect what as far as age appropriate development. When babies are too young to talk we understand that they are frustrated because they cannot communicate with us. Then around two, three, four (you know that blissful  stage of cooperation) they can talk and so all should be well, right? First of all we are always a work in progress so there is never a certain point that you arrive and no one ever has to deal with your crap anymore, but beyond that let’s go back to the first paragraph. How do three year olds de-stress? How do they cope? They can’t blog, they can’t go shopping, or go for a hike. They can jump around and scribble. I am sure that helps, but my point is, what if the the thing that they were inherently born with that allows them to feel a sense of relief and self gratification is not developed or discovered yet. It makes it a little easier to sympathize with them instead of just getting frustrated that they are so frustrated so often. I know there is a lot more to it than that, and I am no psychiatrist, but in the mean time I can have some grace and patience for these little bitties (and bigger kids too). In the same way that I don’t demand that a 10 month old “use their words”, a can’t expect my two year old to have a mature sense of self expression.

I would encourage you as your child gets to be around the age of 5 (according to The 5 Love Languages of Children) to see if you can recognize what activity, hobby, or interest is their healthy outlet. What can you do to nurture that God given desire in them? Or maybe you are still in search for that thing yourself. Either way we all get cranky, we are all progressing, and we all need grace.


One of Z’s first stories- The dog is red. The sky is blue. The sky is cool blue. The dog is red. I love the dog. He is my pet. The end.

By |2015-05-18T05:20:25+00:00April 10, 2014|Schooling, Uncategorized|3 Comments
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Hope For Homeschooling In Small Spaces

 One of the things I have learned along the way in this journey is how you can homeschool in a very small space. When we had to pull Z out of school last year I just began working with him in the parent lounge in the upper level of SJ’s school, and I was amazed at what we accomplished.

 It made me realize that you can homeschool almost anywhere.

If I had to share one tip for someone homeschooling with limited amount of “classroom” space I would say to become best friends with your local library.

 

I know every library is different, but even the most basic of branches have books, that much I can guarantee. This is a great way to get some free resources and not have to keep them stored. Just use, learn, and return. Our library even had “learning packs” that you check out according to themes like rhyming, manners, music, etc. Each big duffel bag included toys, games, flash cards, books, videos and more that were all focused on that one subject. It was awesome.

Now, I am not a homeschool expert by any means. I just happen to be curious about it and interested in learning more. So I asked some friends of mine to share their input about homeschooling in small spaces.

Jen and her husband have 4 children and have lived in a variety of different apartments and rental properties which all would qualify as small. She is the one that sent me the poem that I posted yesterday and she is the first one I asked to help me share tips on homeschooling in small spaces.

Her number one piece of advice was to keep things simple. When it comes to supplies and curriculum Jen likes to make sure she is using what she has and if not then get rid of it. She also says that their family table is multipurpose. They use it as a dining table, but it is also where they do school.


With three small boys at least one of them has to be running around half naked right? 

Jen not only tolerates having a smaller home, she actually appreciates it. She says “Everyone has varied reasons for homeschooling. However, usually a common denominator regardless of reasons is a desire for togetherness. Small spaces certainly provide that! Yes, some days are hard, but I wouldn’t trade it. I like being able to hear and see what is going on from my perch in the kitchen and I like that it gives us ample reason to choose an intentional lifestyle.”

Lastly Jen pointed me to a great blog resource, Raising Life Long Learners (which has tons of info on homeschooling in small spaces), and Philippians chapter 4 (an encouragement for moms in the thick of this stuff). I will definitely be checking those out.

I also want to introduce you to another friend of mine. 
Andrea is the lady I called up when I began teaching Z. She has tons of helpful advice, especially when it comes to homeschooling boys, because she has 6 of them.
That’s right, SIX! 
Andrea and her husband made do with 1,600 square feet for the longest time. They did eventually add on, but she said there is still not a ton of room to work with. I can imagine. When I asked her advice about homeschooling in small spaces she talked about using the dining room table too.
She likes to buy educational place mats (including the ASL alphabet, which makes me grin), she then covers the table with a clear table cloth she buys by the yard at Hobby Lobby.
Andrea has lots of little organizational tips like keeping art/school supplies in an over the door shoe pouch hanger, or having a “locker’ for each child which she uses crates for.
One thing I thought was neat about both ladies is that they are not trying to duplicate the traditional school environment. If you want to have a desk or a locker in your home then that might be fun, but I like the idea of learning in the home environment and just embracing that.
Let’s talk about one more friend. Ashley and her family are always on the move because of her husbands job. 
This pic of Ashley has nothing to do with homeschooling. I just wanted to show it because it’s cute.
This means small and temporary living quarters. 
It would be difficult, or impossible to switch school districts non stop, so they have chosen to homeschool on the go and it’s worked out extremely well. They use an online program called k12 which brings the virtual classroom to the student, and because it is a charter school it is completely free!

Her boys have been able to learn about the world while traveling through it!

If you are waiting for the ideal space and the perfect situation to start taking charge of your children’s education then consider some of these stories. Homeschooling isn’t for everybody, but if it is something you desire then be encouraged that there is lots HOPE, even for the littlest homeschool.
Check out my index page for more of this series
By |2015-05-25T23:15:56+00:00October 29, 2013|Lifestyle, Schooling, Simple Living|35 Comments
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My Peek at the Homeschool Life

I have always said that I would never EVER homeschool. Many of my closest friends do. They do it well and I respect them all the more for it. So, it’s not that I am against it, it’s just that I never felt like I was cut out for it. I have done a lot of homeschooling research lately since we had to pull the 5 year old out of Pre-K. It’s a slippery slope I tell ya. The more I get into it, the more I am intrigued and start to picture myself getting lost in the creativity of new ideas and rewarded by the delight that comes when you see a child’s eyes light up with discovery. Then I snap back to reality. I am not saying that it could never happen, but I would have to hand them over to a tutor or a DVD teacher by 3rd grade. I am so bad at math. No really, I am not talking about trigonometry, I am saying that I am intimidated by fractions.

Regardless of whether or not homeschool is even part of the equation (Equation. Yuck.) I will still always be involved in my children’s education in the most hands on way possible. I think that all parents should be. I have learned so much since embarking on this new academic territory. Some of the most enlightening advice I’ve received came from one of Z’s teachers. She was seeing signs that Z may be gifted and talented because of how quickly he picked up on things and eagerly wants to learn more. Counting to a hundred was never enough so she challenged him with counting in spanish. She told me with GT kids your goal is to broaden and expand the level they are on rather than just have them scurry off to the next one. The key is learning not just vertically, but horizontally. That’s when I reached up and pulled the chain that turned on the light bulb over my head.

I have been able to apply this method when teaching both of my kids together when they are not only different ages, but completely different learning styles (SJ’s pertaining to her special needs). I’ve been doing this all along, but it’s clicking and making more sense now. Let’s say you are working in the garden together. The baby may be experimenting with soil and learning that it does not taste good while the preschool age child is learning that seeds grow into plants and healthy foods. The parents and elementary age child may be working together to understand the science behind germination and life cycles.

Lately I’ve been trying to increase the amount of reading time I have with my kids. Z is learning to read along and SJ is learning to listen. One of the books we read on a daily basis is First Words.

I know it’s a book for babies, which I only have one of, but even though SJ is 3 her hearing age is 3 months. We have to be able to go back to the BASICS for her to be able to listen and speak. When we go through this book SJ is able to practice saying AHHHH for airplane and her imitation of watermelon is totally unintelligible but she gets that it has 4 syllables and makes 4 grunts. At the same time Z is able to read some of the words in the book and enjoys helping me work with his little sister. In the meantime Ezie is like whatever. He likes to watch them though and I just keep on learning more and more from all three of them. It’s like a mutualistic symbiotic relationship. Okay, I had to look that up, but I couldn’t resist adding a little science. There it is.

By |2015-05-25T23:15:04+00:00March 16, 2013|Lifestyle, Schooling, Uncategorized|3 Comments
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Home Away From Homeschool

Yesterday I talked about redshirting and one of the articles that I read on the topic asked this question

1. First and foremost, you must answer this: If you hold your child back, what will he do during this time of rapid growth and learning? You cannot redshirt the brain. If not formal kindergarten, what do you intend to do for him that will inspire, excite, and motivate him during this time of rapid growth and learning?

 

That’s a great question. Since we have to hang out at SJ’s school all day long I want to do all I can to implement a homeschool curriculum of our own. I just so happen to be buddy buddy with some of what I consider to be the best homeschooling moms around. Naturally I hit up these resources for a little advice. I asked three different moms a series of homeschooling questions. They have 13 boys between them and each of them have been home schooled. First of all out of the three moms that I emailed none of them typed an answer back. They did even better, one wanted to answer my questions via phone conversation, another through Skype, and the other one is local so we talked in person. It just goes to show how the teacher in each of them that wanted to be thorough about helping me learn. Ah, I love it!
The exciting thing about Z’s age (5 1/2) and homeschooling is that it’s not about flash cards and drills, but rather fostering the curiosity that is already there and doing it in a relaxed way. Focusing on activities like cooking, gardening, or nature walks. Some of the best advice I’ve heard was to ‘Read, play, go places and talk the whole time you are doing it’. Read out loud while nursing the baby. Read the same book 5 times and talk about a different subject each day that you read it. Have books in the car for that hour long drive. Everyday you read to him and he reads to you. What was the underlying theme I was hearing over and over from multiple people? READ!
That’s what I’ve learned from the experts. Now all that’s left to do is implement it.  My plan is spend the 7 hours we have to kill each day by dividing it between games, puzzles, movies, books, quiet time, play dates, active playtime and there will even be a little bit of formal teaching thrown in there each day.
I’ve enjoyed this opportunity to learn about homeschool curriculums and ideas. Even though I plan on putting our children in public schools eventually, I hope that I will always have a hands on active roll in my children’s educations. I look forward to the days ahead with all there is to learn together and teach each other.
By |2015-05-25T23:17:18+00:00February 10, 2013|Schooling, Uncategorized|3 Comments
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I Don’t Care What Color His Shirt Is

Will he be mature enough for kindergarten? Is it better to be the oldest or youngest? Will he be challenged enough? Is 17 too young to be thrown into to the “real world”? These are just some of the questions that rattle around in my head when I think of Z starting school. I’ve mentioned it on this blog three times already, but I’ll say it again. In Texas Z would have started Kindergarten next year and by Kentucky guidelines it should have been this year, but we held him back. He’s right on the bubble for the cut off date. Even though I know it is not true, I feel like the fate of his future rests on my decision. That’s a lot of pressure! I change my mind about this matter more than a driver with road rage changes lanes.

They actually call it “redshirting” when you hold your child back from starting kindergarten on time. I’ve recently read some articles about it and it can be pretty controversial. Some parents use it as a way to give their child an advantage in sports or an extra year of maturity for a competitive edge academically. Apparently I have become part of the 10% of American’s that are redshirting their children. We fit the statistic since it’s most commonly seen among white boys from the suburbs with late summer birthdays. J and I both have summer birthdays, but I went to Kindergarten twice so I know what it’s like to be the oldest in the class and J knows the feeling of being the youngest. There are some studies surfacing that show that it doesn’t help the student to have an extra year and in some cases may even hinder a student’s success. Then there is other evidence that supports the contrary.

I am not setting out to make my son an academic and certainly not athletic powerhouse by holding him back a year. Maybe if it were the Hunger games, but fortunately it’s not.  Waiting an extra year just happened to work out for our situation. I don’t care if his shirt is red, blue, or fuchsia (okay, maybe he would look a little weird in fuchsia). From what I’ve researched and what his teachers have told me Z is 100% ready for Kindergarten.
 
So for now we are working on retaining what he has learned and preventing boredom. I’ve gotten some helpful information from some of my homeschooling mom friends and I will share some of that in my next blog post. This whole ordeal is stretching me, but in a good way. To be continued…

By |2015-05-25T23:18:09+00:00February 8, 2013|Schooling, Uncategorized|4 Comments
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Ezie’s Birth Story

 

October 1, 2012
“Honey. Wake up! I don’t feel good. I’ve been throwing up. I think we should just head toward the hospital” 
It was 3:00 am and we had only been asleep for a couple hours, but all I knew was that I was already at least 4 cm dilated (according to my last check up) and had been having a few mild contractions. We live an hour away from the hospital. I didn’t want to take any chances.
The bags had already been packed and loaded up the day before and my parents were watching the kids, so we just hopped in the car and headed to Lexington. When we got there at 5:00 am we had no where to go. I wasn’t in labor yet, but at least we were now a safe distance away from the hospital if things did progress. We parked outside of one of our favorite restaurants and slept in the car until they opened at 7:00. After breakfast we headed to the midwives office to have a little meeting about where things were at and she encouraged us to head to the hospital. We spent the next couple hours of early labor shopping and timing contractions, which were around 6 minutes apart at this point. I was pumped.
We finally checked into the hospital and after getting poked and stabbed a few times for my IV and blood tests I took a nap thinking it would be a good idea to rest up before show time. I did get some rest, but I also felt like afterwards my body had decided to call it a day and close up shop. I wasn’t feeling any contractions at all. I started to panic, but the midwife came and J and I talked to her about my fears of being rushed, and how I was worried that they were going to break my water. The medical team reassured me that I could take as much time as I needed. So against their recommendations I declined having them break my bag of water, but I thought it would be okay to strip my membranes since I was already at a 5 anyway and it was a such a minimal form of intervention. If I didn’t progress any further and decided to check out this would not prevent me from leaving the hospital.
At around 6:30 pm things started to get a little more serious and I called in the troops (my midwife, mom, and sister in law).
This labor was completely different than either of my other two, but I was grateful to have been prepared with knowledge and research as things progressed almost completely by the book.
First my contractions were coming 3 minutes apart. I could talk, but I had to focus. During this part of active labor J massaged my back.
I stood up and rocked frequently. I danced the baby down taking breaks to sit on the labor ball which relieved a lot of pressure.

I wanted to pace myself and allow gravity to work on our behalf before moving into the tub.
About an hour later once I finished getting my 2nd round of antibiotics for the GBS I decided I was ready to get in the tub. My midwife encouraged a kneeling and leaning position since Ezra seemed to be laying a little twisted and not quite straight up and down.

I was glad to be in the water, but within a few contractions I felt nauseated and they brought a bag for me to throw up in. Vomiting during and in between contractions was not pretty or fun, but as I trembled and felt so depleted I was also encouraged. This could only mean one thing. Transition.
At this point I was praying and visualizing as I went from one wave of intensity to the next trying to groan and moan instead of quit, which wasn’t an option anyway. I felt like this next stage of intense pain was taking too long, but between each contraction I would relax and soak up the moment of rest before opening up to the next one. Remember the closer they come the closer you are to the end I told myself. All the while J was there telling me how amazing I was, how beautiful I looked, and reminding me to breath and keep my lips loose. He was my hero! The best labor coach anyone could ask for, and we never even studied the Bradley method. At this point I was so uncomfortable I was at the point of swearing off anymore children and I told myself I would count down 10 more contractions. I don’t know what my plan would be after that, but I was just trying to break it down into sizable intervals and distract myself like when you are running long distance.

After about 45 minutes of that transition stage I felt it. The urge to push. I started to smile. I almost laughed. My body was working FOR me and I was grateful to it.

 It is such a feeling of empowerment, but before we get to our happy ending I had a few strong pushes where I was bearing down with everything in me and then came the next stage which I was familiar with, but had never quite experienced to this degree.
The ring of fire.
This is the intensely excruciating climax of childbirth. Still, I knew that this meant it was about to be over, except I pushed a few more times and it wasn’t over. Still no baby. This is when I lost control. I had followed all of the rules and thought I knew each stage, but why was a I still feeling like my innards were being ripped out of me!? I heard the midwife and nurse whisper something to each other. Finally I screamed “What is going on!?” I am not usually that typical pregnant woman you see in the movies, but I needed information! I needed to know if something was wrong and if not I needed the encouragement that I was about to meet my baby. Luckily I got the latter answer. A couple of pushes later I felt his head and body come out all in one swoop. At 10:35 pm Ezra was born.

The relief was instant, as was the love and adoration that I felt for my son. I can write paragraphs and tell stories about the birth, but no words can describe the emotion that comes with bringing a new life into this world!

The 24 hours leading up to Ezra’s birth were a lot more intense than with my other two. It wasn’t easy, but it was a privilege.

By |2016-03-22T19:31:00+00:00October 6, 2012|My Life, Natural Living, Pregnancy & Birth|4 Comments
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Building a Language

My first response before I even knew the degree of SJ’s hearing loss was to learn American Sign Language and teach it to her. I never thought it would be be easy, but my original expectations might have been a little unrealistic.

I was already familiar with baby sign language. I figured that if babies can learn to sign before they can talk then this sign language thing should be a breeze, especially for SJ because she’s brilliant! Come to find out it’s not that simple and it has to do with what I wrote about last week in “the Science of Language”. You acquire your first language by being immersed in it and it all happens easily and naturally. It’s called first language acquisition.

Babies hear MILLIONS of words before they ever say their first! They are observing, listening and mentally taking it all in for the first year or so. It’s a critical time developmentally. A deaf baby born in a deaf family is going through the same process except with a manual language. These children are typically raised in deaf culture so they see sign language happening all around them through their parents, teachers, and communities. One of SJ’s therapist says a child needs to see a sign around 100 times before it sticks. I thought I would simply show SJ some signs and teach her how to talk, but I am up against her natural urge of language acquisition which is to imitate, and for the past 2 and a half years she hasn’t seen any proof that the world around her communicates through sign language. Even now, I try to sign quite a bit, but we are still no where near the amount of oral words she would be hearing if she could. I’m not sure if I am making sense, but this whole first language acquisition thing was a recent epiphany for me. I just never thought about it that way.

Realizing your child is at square one trapped in world without language is a tough pill to swallow. It’s different than realizing that they can’t hear, it’s like Okay. Wow, we have a lot of lost time to make up. I explain it to people using Z as an example. Z started watching signing time and learning ASL along with us just a few months ago. As a 4 year old he quickly picked up around 100 words with minimal effort. I can ask Z What is the sign for share? and he’ll show me. The difference between him and SJ (besides that Z is 2 1/2 years older) is that Z already has a language. He knows what share means and has been learning about this word for years, now he is just attaching a sign to it. Just because SJ is deaf it doesn’t mean she is naturally more inclined to pick up sign language, it’s going to be harder for her because of the lack of immersion that I mentioned earlier. Anyway, that was my light bulb moment last month, but taking all this into consideration she is doing awesome. Sometimes I take for granted how much she does communicate with us through ASL. I need to document more of those precious first words that we are seeing from her.

On another note, we got the test results back yesterday and praise the Lord SJ’s brain and ear anatomy looks great. This means the hearing loss is not caused by any shocking unforeseen damage or malformations. That is really good news and now we can move forward with getting a cochlear implant, which is another big ol’ topic that I need to write about sometime. Just another curve on this windy hilly journey that we are on. There are ups and downs, pit stops, and speed bumps, but I am trying to take in all the beautiful scenery along the way and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

By |2015-05-25T23:09:28+00:00September 6, 2012|Babies & Toddlers, Parenting Tips, Special Needs, Uncategorized|2 Comments
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Postpartum Body Image

 

postpartumbodyimage

A few months ago I put  getting back into my prepregnancy clothes as one of my summer goals. Then last week I accomplished that goal.

Here is what I had posted online.

“I did it! I reached my prepregnancy weight. I could use some help in the tone and definition department, but overall I feel healthy and happy”

I am ashamed to say that just that short statement had to be mulled over and rewritten several times. First off because I don’t want to make anyone feel insecure if they haven’t met their personal weight loss goals, and I also don’t want that to be the focus of what I am all about. I didn’t want to sound prideful either. But more than all that, in my mind I was thinking about how imperfect my body still is and always has been. Can I really say with confidence that I am healthy and happy?Here’s the deal ladies and this is a biggie, I reached a number on a scale that I had in my head and it still didn’t fulfill me. I had a moment of satisfaction followed by feelings of insecurity. This can’t be it, I still have a muffin top in most of my clothes. I have cellulite, and stretch marks. I am still not satisfied.

It was in this moment (and by moment what I really mean is a vague underlying feeling) that I had to make a decision to be happy and healthy.

Paul talks a lot about contentment (1 Timothy 6:6, Philipians 4:11, 2 Corinthians 9:8) and being satisfied with what you have and where you are at.

You don’t have to be anorexic or a plastic surgory glutton to have a body image problem. Do you tear yourself down for how you look? Do you compare yourself to others? Do you feel discontent with your body more often than you feel content? Then you have a problem.

If this little blog is in any way a platform that somehow can make a difference then I will say unapologetically that I LOVE my body! I may need to be reminded of this when my weight fluctuates, or when I am around the modelesque girls in North Dallas, or when I am in my sixties, but I am committed for the long haul.

It’s not about pride or conjuring up some feel good statement. It’s about giving up that area of self pity and freeing up every part of me to be whole and focus outwardly in the truth of who I was called to be, a beautiful creation inside and out.
By |2016-04-12T12:02:53+00:00September 24, 2010|Motherhood|5 Comments
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Under the Mommy Microscope

Sometimes the most well meaning people can make a new mom feel like she is under a microscope. The other day I arrived at a photo shoot for a fitness class. The lady I was photographing looked at me and said “OH my goodness girl! Didn’t you just have a baby?” I smiled kind of sheepishly and answered “Well yeah.” Then she gave me that supportive exuberant “WOW. You look fantastic.” It’s what every mother wants to hear. I modestly explained “She is 3 months old now”. Then her face changed and she said “OH”, the kind of oh that implied that she was revoking the previous comment. She went on to say something like “You had a baby 3 months ago. That makes sense then.”

I know the whole conversation was ridiculous and I shouldn’t put any weight on it (no pun intended). However, it made me feel like it should be expected that I would snap back into shape by this time and that’s high expectations for any woman.

You think having a baby might take all eyes and hands off of your previously pregnant body, but on the contrary people actually examine you more in some ways. Sometimes it’s people looking you up, down, and behind to tell you how your postpartum body is coming along. Other times it’s people analysing your every feature to compare to your baby. For example:

“She does look like you! I can see the resemblance all throughout this area (pointing to the nose region). You know how your nose points down? Her earlobes hang down too (grabbing on to your ear lobes and squinting at you from an uncomfortable distance). Your eyes are little smaller though. Hmmm, I think she’s got her daddy’s big eyes and lips (looking back at the baby). Look at that smooth dark skin. That is just gorgeous. Now, neither of you have dark skin. Huh? Where did she get that beautiful complexion? My my, what a doll. She looks just like grandma.”

By the end of the day you find yourself examining your own features in the mirror and wondering “does my nose really point down that much?”

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want everyone feeling like they can never say anything about me or my kids and who they look like, because it’s usually really sweet. However, sometimes it’s a little extreme and you can’t help but feel like an item being evaluated at the antique roadshow. Has anyone else experienced this?

By |2023-06-19T13:41:44+00:00June 30, 2010|Motherhood, Uncategorized|5 Comments
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