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Home Away From Homeschool

Yesterday I talked about redshirting and one of the articles that I read on the topic asked this question

1. First and foremost, you must answer this: If you hold your child back, what will he do during this time of rapid growth and learning? You cannot redshirt the brain. If not formal kindergarten, what do you intend to do for him that will inspire, excite, and motivate him during this time of rapid growth and learning?

 

That’s a great question. Since we have to hang out at SJ’s school all day long I want to do all I can to implement a homeschool curriculum of our own. I just so happen to be buddy buddy with some of what I consider to be the best homeschooling moms around. Naturally I hit up these resources for a little advice. I asked three different moms a series of homeschooling questions. They have 13 boys between them and each of them have been home schooled. First of all out of the three moms that I emailed none of them typed an answer back. They did even better, one wanted to answer my questions via phone conversation, another through Skype, and the other one is local so we talked in person. It just goes to show how the teacher in each of them that wanted to be thorough about helping me learn. Ah, I love it!
The exciting thing about Z’s age (5 1/2) and homeschooling is that it’s not about flash cards and drills, but rather fostering the curiosity that is already there and doing it in a relaxed way. Focusing on activities like cooking, gardening, or nature walks. Some of the best advice I’ve heard was to ‘Read, play, go places and talk the whole time you are doing it’. Read out loud while nursing the baby. Read the same book 5 times and talk about a different subject each day that you read it. Have books in the car for that hour long drive. Everyday you read to him and he reads to you. What was the underlying theme I was hearing over and over from multiple people? READ!
That’s what I’ve learned from the experts. Now all that’s left to do is implement it.  My plan is spend the 7 hours we have to kill each day by dividing it between games, puzzles, movies, books, quiet time, play dates, active playtime and there will even be a little bit of formal teaching thrown in there each day.
I’ve enjoyed this opportunity to learn about homeschool curriculums and ideas. Even though I plan on putting our children in public schools eventually, I hope that I will always have a hands on active roll in my children’s educations. I look forward to the days ahead with all there is to learn together and teach each other.
By |2015-05-25T23:17:18+00:00February 10, 2013|Schooling, Uncategorized|3 Comments
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I Don’t Care What Color His Shirt Is

Will he be mature enough for kindergarten? Is it better to be the oldest or youngest? Will he be challenged enough? Is 17 too young to be thrown into to the “real world”? These are just some of the questions that rattle around in my head when I think of Z starting school. I’ve mentioned it on this blog three times already, but I’ll say it again. In Texas Z would have started Kindergarten next year and by Kentucky guidelines it should have been this year, but we held him back. He’s right on the bubble for the cut off date. Even though I know it is not true, I feel like the fate of his future rests on my decision. That’s a lot of pressure! I change my mind about this matter more than a driver with road rage changes lanes.

They actually call it “redshirting” when you hold your child back from starting kindergarten on time. I’ve recently read some articles about it and it can be pretty controversial. Some parents use it as a way to give their child an advantage in sports or an extra year of maturity for a competitive edge academically. Apparently I have become part of the 10% of American’s that are redshirting their children. We fit the statistic since it’s most commonly seen among white boys from the suburbs with late summer birthdays. J and I both have summer birthdays, but I went to Kindergarten twice so I know what it’s like to be the oldest in the class and J knows the feeling of being the youngest. There are some studies surfacing that show that it doesn’t help the student to have an extra year and in some cases may even hinder a student’s success. Then there is other evidence that supports the contrary.

I am not setting out to make my son an academic and certainly not athletic powerhouse by holding him back a year. Maybe if it were the Hunger games, but fortunately it’s not.  Waiting an extra year just happened to work out for our situation. I don’t care if his shirt is red, blue, or fuchsia (okay, maybe he would look a little weird in fuchsia). From what I’ve researched and what his teachers have told me Z is 100% ready for Kindergarten.
 
So for now we are working on retaining what he has learned and preventing boredom. I’ve gotten some helpful information from some of my homeschooling mom friends and I will share some of that in my next blog post. This whole ordeal is stretching me, but in a good way. To be continued…

By |2015-05-25T23:18:09+00:00February 8, 2013|Schooling, Uncategorized|4 Comments
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Ezie’s Birth Story

 

October 1, 2012
“Honey. Wake up! I don’t feel good. I’ve been throwing up. I think we should just head toward the hospital” 
It was 3:00 am and we had only been asleep for a couple hours, but all I knew was that I was already at least 4 cm dilated (according to my last check up) and had been having a few mild contractions. We live an hour away from the hospital. I didn’t want to take any chances.
The bags had already been packed and loaded up the day before and my parents were watching the kids, so we just hopped in the car and headed to Lexington. When we got there at 5:00 am we had no where to go. I wasn’t in labor yet, but at least we were now a safe distance away from the hospital if things did progress. We parked outside of one of our favorite restaurants and slept in the car until they opened at 7:00. After breakfast we headed to the midwives office to have a little meeting about where things were at and she encouraged us to head to the hospital. We spent the next couple hours of early labor shopping and timing contractions, which were around 6 minutes apart at this point. I was pumped.
We finally checked into the hospital and after getting poked and stabbed a few times for my IV and blood tests I took a nap thinking it would be a good idea to rest up before show time. I did get some rest, but I also felt like afterwards my body had decided to call it a day and close up shop. I wasn’t feeling any contractions at all. I started to panic, but the midwife came and J and I talked to her about my fears of being rushed, and how I was worried that they were going to break my water. The medical team reassured me that I could take as much time as I needed. So against their recommendations I declined having them break my bag of water, but I thought it would be okay to strip my membranes since I was already at a 5 anyway and it was a such a minimal form of intervention. If I didn’t progress any further and decided to check out this would not prevent me from leaving the hospital.
At around 6:30 pm things started to get a little more serious and I called in the troops (my midwife, mom, and sister in law).
This labor was completely different than either of my other two, but I was grateful to have been prepared with knowledge and research as things progressed almost completely by the book.
First my contractions were coming 3 minutes apart. I could talk, but I had to focus. During this part of active labor J massaged my back.
I stood up and rocked frequently. I danced the baby down taking breaks to sit on the labor ball which relieved a lot of pressure.

I wanted to pace myself and allow gravity to work on our behalf before moving into the tub.
About an hour later once I finished getting my 2nd round of antibiotics for the GBS I decided I was ready to get in the tub. My midwife encouraged a kneeling and leaning position since Ezra seemed to be laying a little twisted and not quite straight up and down.

I was glad to be in the water, but within a few contractions I felt nauseated and they brought a bag for me to throw up in. Vomiting during and in between contractions was not pretty or fun, but as I trembled and felt so depleted I was also encouraged. This could only mean one thing. Transition.
At this point I was praying and visualizing as I went from one wave of intensity to the next trying to groan and moan instead of quit, which wasn’t an option anyway. I felt like this next stage of intense pain was taking too long, but between each contraction I would relax and soak up the moment of rest before opening up to the next one. Remember the closer they come the closer you are to the end I told myself. All the while J was there telling me how amazing I was, how beautiful I looked, and reminding me to breath and keep my lips loose. He was my hero! The best labor coach anyone could ask for, and we never even studied the Bradley method. At this point I was so uncomfortable I was at the point of swearing off anymore children and I told myself I would count down 10 more contractions. I don’t know what my plan would be after that, but I was just trying to break it down into sizable intervals and distract myself like when you are running long distance.

After about 45 minutes of that transition stage I felt it. The urge to push. I started to smile. I almost laughed. My body was working FOR me and I was grateful to it.

 It is such a feeling of empowerment, but before we get to our happy ending I had a few strong pushes where I was bearing down with everything in me and then came the next stage which I was familiar with, but had never quite experienced to this degree.
The ring of fire.
This is the intensely excruciating climax of childbirth. Still, I knew that this meant it was about to be over, except I pushed a few more times and it wasn’t over. Still no baby. This is when I lost control. I had followed all of the rules and thought I knew each stage, but why was a I still feeling like my innards were being ripped out of me!? I heard the midwife and nurse whisper something to each other. Finally I screamed “What is going on!?” I am not usually that typical pregnant woman you see in the movies, but I needed information! I needed to know if something was wrong and if not I needed the encouragement that I was about to meet my baby. Luckily I got the latter answer. A couple of pushes later I felt his head and body come out all in one swoop. At 10:35 pm Ezra was born.

The relief was instant, as was the love and adoration that I felt for my son. I can write paragraphs and tell stories about the birth, but no words can describe the emotion that comes with bringing a new life into this world!

The 24 hours leading up to Ezra’s birth were a lot more intense than with my other two. It wasn’t easy, but it was a privilege.

By |2016-03-22T19:31:00+00:00October 6, 2012|My Life, Natural Living, Pregnancy & Birth|4 Comments
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Building a Language

My first response before I even knew the degree of SJ’s hearing loss was to learn American Sign Language and teach it to her. I never thought it would be be easy, but my original expectations might have been a little unrealistic.

I was already familiar with baby sign language. I figured that if babies can learn to sign before they can talk then this sign language thing should be a breeze, especially for SJ because she’s brilliant! Come to find out it’s not that simple and it has to do with what I wrote about last week in “the Science of Language”. You acquire your first language by being immersed in it and it all happens easily and naturally. It’s called first language acquisition.

Babies hear MILLIONS of words before they ever say their first! They are observing, listening and mentally taking it all in for the first year or so. It’s a critical time developmentally. A deaf baby born in a deaf family is going through the same process except with a manual language. These children are typically raised in deaf culture so they see sign language happening all around them through their parents, teachers, and communities. One of SJ’s therapist says a child needs to see a sign around 100 times before it sticks. I thought I would simply show SJ some signs and teach her how to talk, but I am up against her natural urge of language acquisition which is to imitate, and for the past 2 and a half years she hasn’t seen any proof that the world around her communicates through sign language. Even now, I try to sign quite a bit, but we are still no where near the amount of oral words she would be hearing if she could. I’m not sure if I am making sense, but this whole first language acquisition thing was a recent epiphany for me. I just never thought about it that way.

Realizing your child is at square one trapped in world without language is a tough pill to swallow. It’s different than realizing that they can’t hear, it’s like Okay. Wow, we have a lot of lost time to make up. I explain it to people using Z as an example. Z started watching signing time and learning ASL along with us just a few months ago. As a 4 year old he quickly picked up around 100 words with minimal effort. I can ask Z What is the sign for share? and he’ll show me. The difference between him and SJ (besides that Z is 2 1/2 years older) is that Z already has a language. He knows what share means and has been learning about this word for years, now he is just attaching a sign to it. Just because SJ is deaf it doesn’t mean she is naturally more inclined to pick up sign language, it’s going to be harder for her because of the lack of immersion that I mentioned earlier. Anyway, that was my light bulb moment last month, but taking all this into consideration she is doing awesome. Sometimes I take for granted how much she does communicate with us through ASL. I need to document more of those precious first words that we are seeing from her.

On another note, we got the test results back yesterday and praise the Lord SJ’s brain and ear anatomy looks great. This means the hearing loss is not caused by any shocking unforeseen damage or malformations. That is really good news and now we can move forward with getting a cochlear implant, which is another big ol’ topic that I need to write about sometime. Just another curve on this windy hilly journey that we are on. There are ups and downs, pit stops, and speed bumps, but I am trying to take in all the beautiful scenery along the way and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

By |2015-05-25T23:09:28+00:00September 6, 2012|Babies & Toddlers, Parenting Tips, Special Needs, Uncategorized|2 Comments
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Postpartum Body Image

 

postpartumbodyimage

A few months ago I put  getting back into my prepregnancy clothes as one of my summer goals. Then last week I accomplished that goal.

Here is what I had posted online.

“I did it! I reached my prepregnancy weight. I could use some help in the tone and definition department, but overall I feel healthy and happy”

I am ashamed to say that just that short statement had to be mulled over and rewritten several times. First off because I don’t want to make anyone feel insecure if they haven’t met their personal weight loss goals, and I also don’t want that to be the focus of what I am all about. I didn’t want to sound prideful either. But more than all that, in my mind I was thinking about how imperfect my body still is and always has been. Can I really say with confidence that I am healthy and happy?Here’s the deal ladies and this is a biggie, I reached a number on a scale that I had in my head and it still didn’t fulfill me. I had a moment of satisfaction followed by feelings of insecurity. This can’t be it, I still have a muffin top in most of my clothes. I have cellulite, and stretch marks. I am still not satisfied.

It was in this moment (and by moment what I really mean is a vague underlying feeling) that I had to make a decision to be happy and healthy.

Paul talks a lot about contentment (1 Timothy 6:6, Philipians 4:11, 2 Corinthians 9:8) and being satisfied with what you have and where you are at.

You don’t have to be anorexic or a plastic surgory glutton to have a body image problem. Do you tear yourself down for how you look? Do you compare yourself to others? Do you feel discontent with your body more often than you feel content? Then you have a problem.

If this little blog is in any way a platform that somehow can make a difference then I will say unapologetically that I LOVE my body! I may need to be reminded of this when my weight fluctuates, or when I am around the modelesque girls in North Dallas, or when I am in my sixties, but I am committed for the long haul.

It’s not about pride or conjuring up some feel good statement. It’s about giving up that area of self pity and freeing up every part of me to be whole and focus outwardly in the truth of who I was called to be, a beautiful creation inside and out.
By |2016-04-12T12:02:53+00:00September 24, 2010|Motherhood|5 Comments
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Under the Mommy Microscope

Sometimes the most well meaning people can make a new mom feel like she is under a microscope. The other day I arrived at a photo shoot for a fitness class. The lady I was photographing looked at me and said “OH my goodness girl! Didn’t you just have a baby?” I smiled kind of sheepishly and answered “Well yeah.” Then she gave me that supportive exuberant “WOW. You look fantastic.” It’s what every mother wants to hear. I modestly explained “She is 3 months old now”. Then her face changed and she said “OH”, the kind of oh that implied that she was revoking the previous comment. She went on to say something like “You had a baby 3 months ago. That makes sense then.”

I know the whole conversation was ridiculous and I shouldn’t put any weight on it (no pun intended). However, it made me feel like it should be expected that I would snap back into shape by this time and that’s high expectations for any woman.

You think having a baby might take all eyes and hands off of your previously pregnant body, but on the contrary people actually examine you more in some ways. Sometimes it’s people looking you up, down, and behind to tell you how your postpartum body is coming along. Other times it’s people analysing your every feature to compare to your baby. For example:

“She does look like you! I can see the resemblance all throughout this area (pointing to the nose region). You know how your nose points down? Her earlobes hang down too (grabbing on to your ear lobes and squinting at you from an uncomfortable distance). Your eyes are little smaller though. Hmmm, I think she’s got her daddy’s big eyes and lips (looking back at the baby). Look at that smooth dark skin. That is just gorgeous. Now, neither of you have dark skin. Huh? Where did she get that beautiful complexion? My my, what a doll. She looks just like grandma.”

By the end of the day you find yourself examining your own features in the mirror and wondering “does my nose really point down that much?”

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want everyone feeling like they can never say anything about me or my kids and who they look like, because it’s usually really sweet. However, sometimes it’s a little extreme and you can’t help but feel like an item being evaluated at the antique roadshow. Has anyone else experienced this?

By |2023-06-19T13:41:44+00:00June 30, 2010|Motherhood, Uncategorized|5 Comments
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SJ’s Birth Story

Wednesday morning I woke up to a contraction at 7:17 am. I know the time because I wrote it down in my pregnancy planner and I continued to write each one down all throughout the day. I don’t normally do this, because of braxton hicks and all, but for some reason on that day I decided to keep track.

All day they went up and down, ranging anywhere from an hour to 15 minutes apart. Not too consistent or intense, but enough to give me the lingering thought of “I wonder if this will be the day?” By the afternoon I told my mom “Well I guess I will be going to church tonight because this just isn’t progressing.” and off I went. I continued to time them all throughout church. The contraction were coming about 10 minutes apart, but no one knew that I was in labor, not even me.

When I arrived home there was a plate of eggplant parmesan waiting for me, a dish that is known for it’s labor inducing affects. My parents had ordered take out from Maggiano’s and whether or not the old wives tale is true, I am not one to turn down good Italian. At this point we reverted to the iphone app for timing contractions and I suggested we play a game to keep me distracted. As my parents, husband, and I played bananagram we talked and laughed and the contractions were ranging anywhere from 10 to 6 minutes apart. At 11:45 pm they were 5 minutes apart and I thought I should take a warm bath to see if they would stop. After I got up though the next contraction was a lot more intense. I called my midwife at 12:00 am and told her details, I also casually mentioned that she could wait until after I took my bath. Luckily she insisted that she was going to leave immediately. After that the next contraction was tons of pressure and I told my mom to make up the bed and get my music ready. I was finally convinced that I was about to have a baby. I told J to call my midwife again and update her. The contractions started coming one on top of the other and I sat in the tub praying and trying to focus on relaxation. I was so worried about having the baby before my midwife who was still 15 minutes away could get there. I told J how scared I was, but he comforted me and helped me with my breathing techniques.

All of a sudden I shouted “UH OH! I HAVE TO PUSH” and right then my midwife burst in the door in her scrubs and gloves calm and ready to go. She dipped her hand into the water and told me the baby’s head was right there. I declined the offer to move to the bed, I wasn’t going anywhere at that point. They helped me lean back in the tub so that I could push which only took once and the head was out. She told me I just needed one more push. In disbelief I said “are you sure? I don’t have to hold back?” and having been given the okay I pushed once more and at 12:40 am J reached down, grabbed Sedona, and laid her on my chest.

I was in shock! I couldn’t believe that I was holding my baby! It seemed too quick, too easy, and too good to be true. After a minute of these thoughts, it finally sunk in that this was not a dream. I looked down at my daughter, my beautiful healthy baby girl and I welcomed her home.

By |2016-03-22T19:16:34+00:00March 7, 2010|Natural Living, Pregnancy & Birth|8 Comments
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Top 5 Complaints

I don’t like to be a whiner, but sometimes you just have to let it all out. Like nurmisur commented when I announced the pregnancy

“Good thing about having blog is that you can complain about morning sickness, cramps, and the whole thing as much as you want”

So I am going to take her up on that and list my top 5 pregnancy complaints for the first trimester.

1. Obviously nausea is a biggie. So far no actual vomiting unlike my last pregnancy. I still feel really sick though if I haven’t eaten in a few hours, and then it’s hard to find something I actually feel like eating. Oh, and then there is brushing the teeth and flossing, talk about a gag fest.

2. I am really in between clothes right now. I am definitely out of my regular clothes, but the maternity clothes are still too big. I have a few items that I wear over and over at this time.

3. No one likes having to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. Maybe it’s not that bad, but it feels like it, especially at night.

4. Speaking of night, I am still having those weird dreams. They range from bizarre dreams to night mares. Sometimes they startle me and I will wake up gasping. Needless to say between that and the ongoing emptying of the bladder I get very little sleep.

5. I have saved the strangest for last. I have struggled with having headaches during this pregnancy, but mostly when I am on Facebook. I know it sounds crazy, but I guess it’s the small photos, combined with scrolling and reading. I can’t do it anymore. I have to read slowly then stop and scroll down. ‘Scrolling” linked with nausea. I guess that is not a pregnancy symptom of our ancestors.

By |2015-05-17T19:49:35+00:00August 27, 2009|My Life, Pregnancy & Birth, Uncategorized|3 Comments
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Z’s Birth Story

The Birth Story of Mr. Z

It all started on September 3, 2007. It was Labor day (what a coincidence). We were going to my sister in law’s house for a family get to together. I knew I was having some kind of contractions, so I brought my suitcase just in case. The feelings continued when we got there, but I really thought it was false labor. I took a walk, a hot bath, and laid down, but they didn’t stop. I sat in a room with 6 moms and one nurse sharing their stories and trying to help me figure out if this was really it.

That night on the way home the contractions were coming around 4 minutes apart. By that time everyone had finally talked me into stopping by the birth center. Once we got there the midwife examined me and I was 5 cm dilated, 95% effaced. I guess I really was in labor! After that, things progressed pretty quickly. Everything was coming strong and fast and I started to throw up. We went upstairs to where I would deliver and I threw up several more times, but finally it stopped.

My favorite part of labor was when we played the song from our wedding “Still The One” and it was just me and my husband taking in the magnitude of the moment, our lives were about to be changed forever!

I proceeded to lie down in the bed as the moment drew closer. I thought my water had broken and it turned out to be blood loss and because of this they decided to break my water because it was time for the baby to come out!

I pushed for about 20 minutes. I was in so much pain and ready for it to be over. They had to put me on oxygen for a little while. Once I saw my baby though it really did all go away. My husband was the one that “caught” the baby with the help of our midwife, and he was the one that placed our newborn in my arms, it was AMAZING!

We loved him before he was even here, but to be able to hold him at last was indescribable. Everything was going as I hoped it would, I had done it all naturally. My husband was by my side, my baby was in my arms…

but then things took a turn for the worse. I was told that the placenta was not coming out on it’s own. At this time I don’t even know what happened. Everyone said I looked gray, like I was going to pass out. They hooked me up to an IV, gave me more oxygen, gave me oral liquid supplements. I had to get out of the bed and start pushing again. All that is fine when you have the baby as motivation, but having to go through all the breathing and pushing for the PLACENTA!? It was not fun, and it was not coming either. It was almost to the point of having to be transferred to the ER, when my midwife started praying out loud. She was calm and yet very authoritative, everyone in the room started praying- and that was the moment that the placenta was delivered!!!
From there, our parents joined us and the baby was examined. He weighed 8lbs 11 oz and was 21.25 inches. None of us expected him to be that big.

I was exhausted. The 3 of us slept together at the birth center that night and the next day at noon we went home with our perfect baby boy.

So that is pretty much the whole story of the day we became parents.

By |2023-06-14T02:58:32+00:00September 9, 2008|Lifestyle, My Life, Natural Living, Pregnancy & Birth|2 Comments
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