When Angie was pregnant with her first daughter Pyper, the whole process start to finish was less than ideal. She experienced so much medical complications that she felt like one precious daughter might be all their family needed, and for 5 years it was.
Then there was a surprise pregnancy in 2011 that started out even worse than her first. They did an early ultra sound on Angie to see what might be causing the extreme nausea and it immediatly revealed that Angie and her husband Kyle were expecting twins. Angie began to weep. She was ready and even excited about welcoming another baby, but two at once!? Thoughts flooded her mind. How they could afford it? Would she be able to keep her job? Was her body up to the challenge physically?
But everything fell into place and the twins came on May 21, 2012.
Kyle and Angie were so in love with their three daughters Pyper, Paylinn, and Palmyr.
Palymr did have some medial concerns early on. She was even tested for a terminal illness but thankful all the results came back negative. Then around 5 months old Palymr had to wear a special helmet after being diagnosed with positional plagiocephaly.
While the treatment is not uncommon Angie babied Palmyr and it was really difficult for her to think of her child having any kind of special treatments and obstacles to overcome. At the time Angie says that seemed like a huge deal. In the end it was just a short season before the helmet came off and Plamyr was fine.
As each challenge of motherhood presented itself Angie felt like she wasn’t strong enough to withstand what was next, but each time God’s strength was sufficient. What Angie didn’t realize was that she would need to hold onto God’s strength more than ever because she was about to walk into what would be the biggest heartbreak that any mother could ever imagine.
It was November 28, 2013. Thanksgiving day. As Angie was preparing everything they needed to head to their in-laws house for the big gathering she could hear the TV on upstairs. Kyle was watching “Super Why” with the girls. Palmyr began to get fussy so Angie made her a bottle and laid her down for a nap. She had so much to be Thankful for on this day. Despite all the fears she once had, she loved being a mom. She loved having twins. She loved each of them so deeply.
Shortly after Angie left Palmyr in her crib Paylinn started to become sleepy too, so they laid her down too in the same room as her twin sister. Palmyr was still sleeping peacefully. Angie tip toed out of the quiet dark room so that she wouldn’t distrub the sweetly sleeping toddlers.
Later there was a phone call from Angie’s mother- in-law asking if they wanted to come over a little earlier than planned. Angie agreed because she could hear that one of the twins was already waking up anyway. So Angie and big sister Pyper went into the twins room to get them ready.
Palmyr was still asleep so she got Paylinn out first and started to get her outfit out when she glanced at the crib. That was when she realized something was wrong. Palmyr wasn’t breathing.
Angie immediatly picked her up to find that she was unconcious. She screamed the shrill cries that would come from any mother who found her baby in trauma. She told Pyper to go get her daddy and Angie called 911. She laid Palmyr on the bed and started doing CPR. Part of her job in the medical field is to have regular CPR training and she had just had her CPR training only two days before!
She waited what seemed like forever for the ambulance to arrive. At this point Kyle’s dad Cleddie, who is a pastor and a very involved grandfather, had arrived. When the paramedics picked Palmyr up they said “she’s still warm” and Angie felt a sense of relief. She believed that Palmyr was going to be fine. This was all just a bad dream. They would take her to the local children’s hospital and it would be over soon. As they loaded her into the ambulance no one was allowed to go except for Kyle and he had to ride in the front. Angie asked “Are you taking her to Children’s?” the paramedics replied “We don’t have time for that! We are going to St. E” (which was only a mile away). Angie didn’t like the distress in his voice. She frantically got in her car and started following them.
When they arrived at the hospital they weren’t allowed to go back at first until the team was assembled. It was hard to stay calm. Angie just wanted to see her baby!
Once they were cleared to enter, Angie’s last shred of hope had diminished. She knew enough through her work in the medical field to know that an EpiPen was not a great sign and doing CPR for longer than 20 minutes was not normal. They started doing chest compressions and one nurse said she got a faint beat. As the nurse looked up she locked eyes with Angie and said Oh my God. She recognized Angie! They went to highschool together! It was Angie’s friend Christy. Christy got another nurse to take her place and Christy ran to be by Angie’s side.
Angie asked what was going on, but Christy couldn’t give an answer. Not one that Angie would want to hear. After over an hour of trying to resetate Palmyr, Angie heard the voice of God as clear as she ever has. He said “I’ve taken her home” and then she walked out of the room.
Kyle, Cleddie, Angie and her Highschool friend Christy were all standing there when the doctor came out crying and said to them, “I am so sorry”. Angie describes the next hour as a blur. As she remebers that painful day she says “I can’t even tell you how I made it to the next room. All I know is that I was mad. I was wondering, where is our miracle!? I was mad at God. I was mad at Cleddie. I was so furious that this was happening after all that we’ve seen God do in other’s lives!” She was able to hold Palmyr in her arms one last time. As they are saying their goodbyes to their precious baby girl two detectives come walking in for an interrogation.
Heartbreaking, the range of emotions when I was reading this. Thank you for sharing this powerful recount, off to read part 2.