Along with naming your child and carrying an uplifting
vision for their future we have to lay the ground work with the words that we
speak. Teachable parenting means cultivating a loving and respectful
environment in our homes and it is made manifest through the things we say.
Words are powerful. We know this right? Proverbs 18:21 says that the power of Life and death are in
the tongue. Ephesians 4:29, Let no
corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only that which is good for building
up others according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Or Matthew 15:18 What comes from the mouth proceeds from the heart and defiles a man.
vision for their future we have to lay the ground work with the words that we
speak. Teachable parenting means cultivating a loving and respectful
environment in our homes and it is made manifest through the things we say.
Words are powerful. We know this right? Proverbs 18:21 says that the power of Life and death are in
the tongue. Ephesians 4:29, Let no
corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only that which is good for building
up others according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Or Matthew 15:18 What comes from the mouth proceeds from the heart and defiles a man.
Back to quoting Danny Silk from Loving Our Kids on Purpose
he says “ Our job is to create a steady steam of life-giving words into our
children’s lives. When we learn to look at our children and see their potential
and destinies in God, and learn to release the power of life through our words we
become a channel for God to broadcast his heart and His grace to them.” I love the example he gives when his son was
in 2nd grade (probably around the same age as my son) and he was
getting into some trouble at school (kind of like my son has) and the school called the mother about the issue. I am sure she was ready to tear into him, but before she
went to pick him up she said to herself
Here we go. My words are spirit
and life. I carry vision for my son. I carry it in my heart. I carry
what it is that I want him to have and when she addressed him that day she did so without attacking him with harsh words. I don’t want to over spiritualize this topic and make it sound like our words carry that much weight, but well, it’s in the Bible so I don’t know how else to present it. Our words have impact.
he says “ Our job is to create a steady steam of life-giving words into our
children’s lives. When we learn to look at our children and see their potential
and destinies in God, and learn to release the power of life through our words we
become a channel for God to broadcast his heart and His grace to them.” I love the example he gives when his son was
in 2nd grade (probably around the same age as my son) and he was
getting into some trouble at school (kind of like my son has) and the school called the mother about the issue. I am sure she was ready to tear into him, but before she
went to pick him up she said to herself
Here we go. My words are spirit
and life. I carry vision for my son. I carry it in my heart. I carry
what it is that I want him to have and when she addressed him that day she did so without attacking him with harsh words. I don’t want to over spiritualize this topic and make it sound like our words carry that much weight, but well, it’s in the Bible so I don’t know how else to present it. Our words have impact.
Sometimes
it can be a struggle when you see your children misbehaving not to call them
names like “bad boy” “brat” or “selfish”. Teachable Parenting holds kids
responsible for their actions, but what they do as children does not define who
God says that they are. The book Wild Things suggests naming the behavior
instead. You do this by saying things like “that’s destructive” or “talking
that way is disrespectful”. It communicates in a way that is short firm, and measured
rather than belittling or personally attacking.
I don’t want to bombard my children with words that accuse them of being bad
because if they hear it enough they are going to believe that is what they are.
Again, this excerpt from Wild Things is
geared to boys, but I think you will quickly see how it can be adapted to apply
to girls as well. “By disciplining boys in ways that do not shame them, we
honor their desire for strength, reinforce their sensitivity, and encourage
them toward valor. If our boys are to stand a fair chance at life, they need to
enter manhood believing that they are good men. If they don’t, they will be
staring out behind the eight ball.”
it can be a struggle when you see your children misbehaving not to call them
names like “bad boy” “brat” or “selfish”. Teachable Parenting holds kids
responsible for their actions, but what they do as children does not define who
God says that they are. The book Wild Things suggests naming the behavior
instead. You do this by saying things like “that’s destructive” or “talking
that way is disrespectful”. It communicates in a way that is short firm, and measured
rather than belittling or personally attacking.
I don’t want to bombard my children with words that accuse them of being bad
because if they hear it enough they are going to believe that is what they are.
Again, this excerpt from Wild Things is
geared to boys, but I think you will quickly see how it can be adapted to apply
to girls as well. “By disciplining boys in ways that do not shame them, we
honor their desire for strength, reinforce their sensitivity, and encourage
them toward valor. If our boys are to stand a fair chance at life, they need to
enter manhood believing that they are good men. If they don’t, they will be
staring out behind the eight ball.”
So anyway, I am feeling convicted! Today my challenge is to cover my children with words that strengthen,
encourage and change the atmosphere! I’m ready for a change.
encourage and change the atmosphere! I’m ready for a change.
This is day 28 of a 31 day series. For the rest of Teachable Parenting click HERE.
I needed this reminder. Sometimes it's difficult to hold my tongue but you are absolutely right, it is our responsibility as parents to uplift, to praise and as needed, to reprimand in an appropriate way. What a wonderful series!
Ephesians 4:29 has been a recurrent theme for me this month. I get so frustrated with my Caleb, but I'm learning to pause and gather myself before I speak (most of the time). I'm loving your writing!
Ephesians 4:29 was printed out and on my desk a a teacher and then came home with me when I had my babies. So challenging some days but so true all the time.
So true! Mine are very young and are parrots, so it's a great reminder when something appalling comes out of their mouths – something they learned from me!
I don't have any kids of my own yet, but I get to love on other peoples kids for my job. Such a good reminder!
Such a good reminder. Yesterday was not the best parenting day for me but today has been a new day I am thankful for the Lord's graciousness!
I was just talking and praying about this yesterday. Thanks for your encouraging words.
I especially love your closing remarks: "Today my challenge is to cover my children with words that strengthen, encourage and change the atmosphere! I’m ready for a change." That is my challenge, too. Today and tomorrow and the day after.
It's so good to know I'm not alone in this!
love it! i, too, choose my words wisely when disciplining the darlings. it's not for me to harshly judge, it is for me to guide and help them see more productive ways.