A Monumental Occasion



Even with the digital slideshow I can’t think of anything more comforting and calming than a framed photo of my precious little ones that WILL NOT be joining us for the occasion.These are not all of the items coming, but like I said before, probably the most unnecessary. We’ll see how I feel about hauling it all into the different rooms when the time comes. Or should I say we’ll see how J feels?
I am posting two blog entries back to back because a lot has happened since I wrote that happy little post about all of my plans and predictions. While in Lexington for our baby moon I also had a scheduled prenatal appointment because I am very practical in that way. That is when I found out our baby boy is head down and ready to go, and by ready to go I mean my midwife doesn’t expect me to get through this weekend.
I am less than two weeks away from my due date! I’ve said this before, but both of my kids were due on the 9th (of different months) and born on the 4th just shy of 1:00 am. So if I follow suit, this baby could be here in about a week! Both of my children were also similar weight and height. That’s why I am going to GUESS this baby will be
born- October 5th at 2:00 am
weighing- 8.10 pounds
measuring- 21 inches
I am just throwing that out there. Feel free to give your own guesses!
It’s funny how the majority of the pregnancy I have been giving myself a guilt trip for being so distracted with other things. I guess I am making up for it now because ALL I can think about is getting ready for the new arrival (and chewing ice, which I know means I am probably anemic, but anyway…). This has felt like the quickest pregnancy ever and I can’t believe the big day could be any day now!
I try to make it a tradition to get out and have some fun at the end of each pregnancy. So, the past week has been spent celebrating and enjoying quality time with the people I love.
Saturday was my baby shower which was really special. I had such a great time just hanging out with all the other women that I hardly ever get to talk to and I felt very loved.
The theme was Little Prince. The diaper castle and castle cake were AMAZING!
Above: Friends from church Below: My cousin, mom, nephew, and sister in laws.
Tuesday was shopping and pedicures with my mom. We spent the whole day trying to prepare and pamper at the same time. It was a success!
I am currently on my baby moon with J which has been so wonderful. My favorite part is just getting to rest. I took several naps and went to bed early last night. I’ll be dreaming about that child free temperupedic hotel bed for months to come.
I don’t have many pics yet, but here are our coffees at our favorite little hang out place in Lexington.
Now that I am feeling refreshed I am ready to get back to business. This next (potentially last) week of pregnancy I plan on using every ounce of my time and energy to get all the final details ready for this little guy. Here we go!
I’ve been anxious to share about these two simple children’s books that have really come in handy over the past month and the funny thing is I wasn’t even seeking them out.
The first one was available for free to take from the hospital when SJ had her sedated testing. It’s called My Own Prayers, by Larry Carney and it has simple little prayers for things like going to school, getting lost, or being scared of the dark. We brought it to the Doctor with us last time Z and SJ had to get shots because Z insisted he wanted to read the “Prayer for Getting a Shot” and we did.
The other book is one that I came across at a thrift store for 69 cents and I LOVE it! I don’t want to be overly dramatic, but it has been a blessing in our lives and we read it again last night per Z’s request. First of all it is a children’s book by the Sears family and if you know who Dr. Sear’s is you know his natural approach to child birth and parenting is right up my alley. It’s called Baby On The Way, and it’s kind of like a candid, age appropriate version of “What to Expect When You Are Expecting” for children. It’s really helped Z to understand more about what is happening. 


Speaking of which, we are getting geared up for baby #3. I am 37 weeks tomorrow and if I follow the previous patterns we are about 2 weeks away from delivery. Ahhhh! There is still a ton left to do, but having 2 children already I do realize that the baby doesn’t need much. No matter what we do or don’t get accomplished on my to do list at this point we are going to be okay. I have a baby shower on Saturday, a baby moon with J next week, and my mom and I are going to get a pedicure and go shopping one of these days. So there are lots of exciting things underway. I will definitely keep every one posted if there is any news to announce.
My first response before I even knew the degree of SJ’s hearing loss was to learn American Sign Language and teach it to her. I never thought it would be be easy, but my original expectations might have been a little unrealistic.
I was already familiar with baby sign language. I figured that if babies can learn to sign before they can talk then this sign language thing should be a breeze, especially for SJ because she’s brilliant! Come to find out it’s not that simple and it has to do with what I wrote about last week in “the Science of Language”. You acquire your first language by being immersed in it and it all happens easily and naturally. It’s called first language acquisition.
Babies hear MILLIONS of words before they ever say their first! They are observing, listening and mentally taking it all in for the first year or so. It’s a critical time developmentally. A deaf baby born in a deaf family is going through the same process except with a manual language. These children are typically raised in deaf culture so they see sign language happening all around them through their parents, teachers, and communities. One of SJ’s therapist says a child needs to see a sign around 100 times before it sticks. I thought I would simply show SJ some signs and teach her how to talk, but I am up against her natural urge of language acquisition which is to imitate, and for the past 2 and a half years she hasn’t seen any proof that the world around her communicates through sign language. Even now, I try to sign quite a bit, but we are still no where near the amount of oral words she would be hearing if she could. I’m not sure if I am making sense, but this whole first language acquisition thing was a recent epiphany for me. I just never thought about it that way.
Realizing your child is at square one trapped in world without language is a tough pill to swallow. It’s different than realizing that they can’t hear, it’s like Okay. Wow, we have a lot of lost time to make up. I explain it to people using Z as an example. Z started watching signing time and learning ASL along with us just a few months ago. As a 4 year old he quickly picked up around 100 words with minimal effort. I can ask Z What is the sign for share? and he’ll show me. The difference between him and SJ (besides that Z is 2 1/2 years older) is that Z already has a language. He knows what share means and has been learning about this word for years, now he is just attaching a sign to it. Just because SJ is deaf it doesn’t mean she is naturally more inclined to pick up sign language, it’s going to be harder for her because of the lack of immersion that I mentioned earlier. Anyway, that was my light bulb moment last month, but taking all this into consideration she is doing awesome. Sometimes I take for granted how much she does communicate with us through ASL. I need to document more of those precious first words that we are seeing from her.
On another note, we got the test results back yesterday and praise the Lord SJ’s brain and ear anatomy looks great. This means the hearing loss is not caused by any shocking unforeseen damage or malformations. That is really good news and now we can move forward with getting a cochlear implant, which is another big ol’ topic that I need to write about sometime. Just another curve on this windy hilly journey that we are on. There are ups and downs, pit stops, and speed bumps, but I am trying to take in all the beautiful scenery along the way and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
PS- In that last photo of Z he is on a dock looking down at the fish. Every time he bent over you would see Woody from Toy Story peeking over staring at you. That was before Z owned a belt.
Despite the typos and sloppy grammar you may find on this blog I always excelled at Language Arts in school, but that had to do with writing. I never even considered delving into linguistics. I had a hard enough time getting through my second year of Spanish. However, now having a daughter that is deaf and therefor cannot speak, I am learning all kinds of fascinating facts about language. I’m learning about the intricate art and science of language, and how every one of us communicating in whatever form we learned naturally, is an absolute miracle!
I watched a National Geographic documentary earlier this year called The Science of Babies before I knew of SJ’s hearing loss. It touched on the fact that babies are born being able to produce and hear all sounds alike. An American newborn is processing Chinese just as well they are English, but since they will hear English the most they will start to perceive it as their native language very early on. Eventually they will learn to understand English and speak English and have an accent. Understanding and putting together all of these different speech sounds is called phonological development. The English language has about 44 phonemes, out the potential 150 phonemes used in languages throughout the world.
The thing that I am discovering in my most recent research of hearing/language and our amazing minds is that you have to “use it or loose it”. As an infant you had the potential to roll your R’s along with the best mariachi singer in Mexico, but there are many people whose language doesn’t include this sound and therefore they can’t roll their R’s at all (my husband is one of those people). Did you know that most Germans can’t pronounce squirrel? It all has to do with something called phonemic awareness. Our pastor was preaching from the book of Judges chapter 12 recently. He described when the Ephraimites where trying to escape over the Jordan after battle. The Gileadites had secured the river fords to try and stop them. For every soldier trying to cross they would ask them to say the Shibboleth, because they knew the Ephraimites wouldn’t be able to pronounce it. The Ephraimites would then say Sibboleth and were therefor exposed as refugees trying to escape. There you have it. Even way back in the Old Testament, you can find a perfect example of how our brains naturally use and dismiss certain phenomes according to our dialect as we develop language.
If you don’t use it, you loose it. All of this information is not only intriguing, but it is also very important to me because of SJ’s hearing loss. SJ can hear vowels and so that is what she identifies as language. Her brain is currently wiring her to determine what she should “use” and everything else she will “loose”. She is at a very critical age where we either decide that oral communication is not important for her, or we can try to take advantage of the modern technology that will enable her to hear speech before it’s basically too late. We are currently making use of hearing aids, but they can only amplify sound and with her profound loss this isn’t really enough. That is why, by recommendation of her doctors and therapists, we are pursuing the cochlear implant. It’s not the same as perfect natural hearing, but it will create sound rather than just amplify it and allow her to hear and communicate orally.
One of the articles I was given in regards to “Why Early Audition Is Important” (that was the name of the article) talks about how we process sound and why the ages of 0-5 are so critical. Reading it enlightened me to a whole new level of understanding something that I’ve always just taken for granted and that is the development of our natural senses and how they all works. I am going to quote a lot of what I read from this article published in Volta Voices in June 2011because if I paraphrase too much it will probably not be as informative.
“The human brain has a genetic predisposition to want to make sense of the world. This condition of forcing neurons to compete with each other to be selected for “hard wiring” is a necessary biological action that allows the individual to develop the skills necessary to be successful in his or her environment”. Being able to say squirrel is not essential to Germans being successful in their environment, but for Americans it’s part of our language, on the other hand I don’t even want to know what I would sound like trying to speak German or an African clicking language. Moving on, “A fully developed brain has over 100 trillion connections (pruned down from the quadrillions of connections in the 2-year old brain), and there are only 80,000 genes. We use our genes for lots of thing (like neurogenesis and migration) There just aren’t enough for synaptogenesis too. Children during the first two years of life create an overabundance of synaptic connections, which continues until around age 8 as they learn new skills and behaviors. These connections are forced to compete for survival and are either pruned away or cemented based on the amount of electrical activity that occurs at that connection.” WOW! Okay, so as much as I like to talk about neural pathways and all, let me tell you how I translate this. If your brain is a honey comb and it has 100 worker bees they all have to find a job to do fast. They will find work somewhere, but if there is no work in one place then they will move on and take their business elsewhere. That is why it really is true that blind people have heightened senses in other areas, and yes deaf people do tend to have better peripheral vision and sense of vibration etc. All of this pruning and cementing that is going on happens early in life which is why it is so critical to get SJ the resources that she needs as soon as possible. Even though it is a time sensitive issue it’s also good to know that she is well within the right age range for all of this. We can be confident that it is not too late for her to start stimulating that auditory nerve and we are working toward that pretty much every single day.
I am not an expert in all of this, but I love reading and trying to understand as much as possible. To me it puts a whole new spin on education and foreign language. Some of the resources that I have read came from an online article about how children learn language, which prompted me to learn more about phonological development on good old Wikipedia, and of course I already referenced some of the other articles that I read and I’ve included the links for those as well. There is more to all of this and how it directly applies to SJ and her communication abilities, but basically that is the brainy science side of things. In short, use it or lose it!
Thanks to J and the Kentucky soil for making this summers garden such a success.