We’ve had a little bit of a lull as far as dialogue with princess SJ lately. It’s not that big of a deal. After a year of the cochlear implant thing I have learned about the natural fluctuation of the process.

I usually meet with SJ’s teachers every other week for a parent education meeting to discuss where she is and get some insight about what I can be doing with her at home. I have mentioned before about the team of people that it takes to help SJ learn to listen and talk. Her preschool teacher and speech therapist coordinate with each other and then the school exchanges information with me. Communication amongst the team is critical to ensure that we are all on the same page.

At this last meeting I mentioned that I have not noticed a lot of change in the past month. We agreed that between the snow days and the illnesses there have been some minor set backs. Plateaus are to be expected, so we are just going to sit on the same vocabulary for an extra week before they begin introducing more. When I look at SJ’s progress I feel like it has come in waves.

In October we had the biggest vocabulary breakthrough that I’ve seen up to this point. She went from mostly imitating words to suddenly saying a ton of words on her own, including our names. Then in  December we took another big step forward and I noticed a lot more two word combinations and saw her go from just labeling things to using her words more frequently to vocalize her needs and make requests.

The next month is looking pretty busy between holidays, doctor appointments, and a big fundraiser coming up at her school. I am wondering though, if maybe, after her birthday at the beginning of March we will see another increase in her interest and understanding of language.

I make it all sound very calculated and structured, and the efforts that go on behind the scenes often are, but in my world, as the mom, the one in which I live every day, she/we are just conducting fairly normal lives.

She loves yogurt and Super V apple juice. She loves McDonald’s or Chic Fil A play land. She loves gathering all the blankets together and building forts or making a bed for her stuffed animals. She loves bubble baths and she adores her family. On a different note she is still very opinionated and strong willed about a lot of things, but especially her shoes and what she wears. Lately she has had me pulling my hair out at night just trying to get her to sleep! Then there is the constant bickering amongst the siblings. A lot of her latest words and phrases all go hand in hand with the sibling rivalry. “Z hit” “Z push, fall down” “Baby share” “My Turn!” “NO””That’s mine”. I don’t take it for granted though. Even when she screams MOMMY 40 times because she can’t reach a puzzle and I am too busy to get it right then. I still do not take it for granted.

From speech, to play and everything in-between that’s life with our little SJ. She keeps us on our toes.

Last night was a lot of fun. We took the kids to a special Frozen party at my sister in law’s office in Cincinnati. On the way in traffic was bad, the roads were bad, and people were, er… um… cranky? I admit to not being the best driver. I make mistakes and I usually sign sorry in ASL to the other drivers, but then realize hardly anyone knows what that means. People probably yell at me and potentially do select gestures, but if so, I am completely oblivious. Between watching the road and my kids I certainly do not have time to engage in that kind of nonsense. So I have never seen anyone give me the finger, however, I was not the one driving last night. J was, and he is a good driver. Not perfect though, and he did cut off a shiny black Escalade. I really didn’t think anything of it until a few minute later when the guy comes charging up behind us waving his middle finger. Luckily all three kids were asleep in the back (this is rare, and thank you Jesus that they were protected because it got worse).

Then the car comes ripping up right next to us with the window rolled down and the driver’s gracious middle aged wife is hanging out the window in the freezing cold, speeding down the HIGHWAY, waving her middle fingers at us and shouting obscenities that fortunately we couldn’t hear. All I could do in that moment was give her an SJ face and mutter that’s not nice.

However, seconds later I started signing that she should learn some real ASL (and I did sign dummy, which was not appropriate). I told J next time that’s what I would do.

 The “road rager” would probably just be confused, but there is a slight chance that it could diffuse their anger and they are the smarty pants that initiated the conversation with their hands. For me signing is a very natural response to bad behavior, because I sign “no no no, not nice, stop that...” all day long when I am correcting my children. So if someone wants to say bad words with their hands, bring it on. The messy mom is ready. In all seriousness though, we all have ways we vent our emotions. For some of us it’s blogging about our experience the next day, for others it’s cursing at a beat up car carrying young children to see a free Disney movie. Which I still think is not very nice.

Hopefully, I won’t have anymore encounters like this again, but if so, I’ll be ready.

For those wondering, I did mess up my signs a little bit in the video above, but it’s better than the interpreter at Nelson Mandela’s funeral I can tell you that! Here is what I said-
“You need to be careful! I have my kids in the car with me. Stop. Stop it now. That’s bad. You are a very bad lady. What’s wrong with you!?” 

I have not posted an update on Ezie in a loooong time. He hasn’t really changed in dramatic ways that I can easily pinpoint, but boy has he changed. He’s a toddler now! A climbing, running, hiding, dancing, talking, mischievous, kissy toddler.

In addition to the 8 words I listed 3 months ago he can now verbally identify eyes, nose, and hat with little accuracy, but a lot of effort pointing at his head. He says many two word combinations like

all done
good job
here go (for here you go)
tickle tickle (well, I guess that’s the same word twice, but that’s how he says it)
thank you

He has also started saying hot, shoe, duck, ow, hi, yay, juice and probably several others that are not coming to mind right now. So he is off to a pretty good start for 15 months, but in all fairness, most of the time I have to resist the urge to call him my little minion. I would never want to label any of my children that way, but he talks just like one of the characters from Despicable Me.

He’s grown a lot in three months too. I don’t have all the exact stats. In fact, that’s part of why I fail to do monthly updates for the littlest one because I don’t have any decent pictures or measurements, so I decide to wait and then it just never happens. Anyway, I do have this photos comparison of a shot that I have from November and January. I remember in the first one he could barely make contact no matter how hard he stretched.

Now he can palm the door knob and it is his daily mission to escape.

The most memorable thing about Ezie at this stage is his singing. He loves music. Ezie started singing his own melodies at 9 months old. Then at 12 months he could sing a word or two from 3 different songs that he heard us singing (one Veggie Tales song, one called Ezie that we made up, and lastly “What Does The Fox Say”) I know it’s too soon to call, but I would put money (if I gabled and/or had any money) on Ezie being some form a musician when he is older. He just loves to sing and dance, and is very perceptive to any rhythm or tone that he hears. Even if I have a timer go off, he will bob his head and go “ba deep beep beep, ba deep beep beep” I posted this video on instagram the other day of him scatting

It is a VERY fun stage that he is at. His siblings love playing with him now. They all bicker and get along marvelously.

 I promise to take some photos on my real camera, not just for the blog, it just seriously needs to happen. Until then this is our little Ezie pie.

Today is the 8th snow day we’ve had this winter. Cold Day may be a better description considering half of the time schools are closed not even due to road conditions, but because of extreme cold. Having spent the past 15 years in Texas this is fairly new to me. I love a day off school as much as the next guy, but especially right after Christmas break I was a bit disappointed about the kids missing school because they were ready to get back into the swing of things (okay maybe that was just me), and I would rather not have to drag out the school year when they are chomping at the bit to have summer vacation. That’s where the blizzard bags come in. Have you heard of this?

Public schools are obligated to have x amount of full school days a year. Some snow days are accounted for, but after a while if you miss too many days from snow then they end up tacking on extra days at the end of the year to make up for it. This is never fun. Not only because the teachers, parents, and of course students have been preparing for that glorious last day of school, but as far practical purposes the students aren’t even going to be in the right mindset for learning and it more than likely just becomes a formality that wastes everyones time.

So last week when the kids were off school AGAIN I saw an email from the principal where the subject line was Blizzard Bag, my mind immediately went to Diary Queen. Then I opened up attachment to find that it had nothing to do with ice-cream, but was several worksheets that were to make up for the time lost through the snow day. Our school district allows for 5 “calamity days” and after that they have now approved up to 3 blizzard bag days where the students can do their work from home in order to count as a school day. I love this concept! I had Z do his work right away last time and today I already have it printed off and ready to go, but you do actually have 2 weeks to turn it in. The older students have online programs that they use. For the students that don’t have computer access you can do it at the school on another date.

I guess we only have one more blizzard bag day left and then we are on our own, but every little bit helps. Here are a few of the times we’ve been out in the snow when it wasn’t too cold and we weren’t too sick.

The Cincinnati Nature center is beautiful and we got a membership for Christmas this year.

 I gave SJ a sled to pull and she insisted I put Ezie in the sled.

 This is at a nearby park that we frequent and the “slopes” are terrifying great! Some people were even snowboarding.

Three kids at the top of the hill

We’ll stay inside today because it’s 1 degrees… degree… it’s one out? I don’t even know how to say it. Anyway, it’s just too cold. Whew.

Just giving you a heads up, this season (the whole big chunk of time between February and May) can be a little emotional for me. I am certain it won’t always be like this, but as I get ready for SJ’s 4th birthday it brings up a lot of memories from the last two years. SJ was not diagnosed with hearing loss on her 2nd birthday, but it was at her 2 year well child visit that they referred us to an ENT to have her hearing checked and it progressed from there. So I will probably be writing about some of my feelings here on my blog. I worry that hashing through all of this all over again may not be the most popular topic on the internet. The bad news is I don’t make a dime off of this blog, the good news is I guess that means I can write about whatever I want. Journals, essays, and poetry are how I work through things. I’ve used this approach to cope with life’s struggles from as early as I could make any sense with a pencil. I would write to express myself. It hasn’t changed in 25 years except I type now.

When Z looses teeth it’s a production. I don’t mean that he is dramatic about it, but it’s never as simple as- Tooth falls out. Goes under pillow. Tooth fairy comes. The end.

 It all began on Christmas eve of 2012. I have it documented here on Messy Mom. He lost his first tooth Christmas eve, which I am sure made the tooth fairy excited because that meant she could carpool with Santa. Much to our surprise when Z woke up Christmas morning there were two teeth missing. I panicked thinking he swallowed it, but he informed us that he stuck it under his pillow in the middle of the night. We were lucky enough to be able to sneak the tooth out from underneath his pillow and replace it with an additional dollar while he was explaining the whole story, but it was a close one.

The next significant lost tooth happened in June last year. It was after church and the kids were running around like wild maniacs, the way they always do when church lets out. Suddenly Z freaks out and announced that he lost his tooth. He literally lost it. I once again was worried that he swallowed it. Although, I don’t know why that is such a concern of mine. If he did swallow it he obviously hadn’t choked. Fortunately a friend of ours spotted the little lost tooth and we were able to save it for the tooth fairy that evening.

It was cute to see him missing that front tooth. He seemed like such a big boy. Then several months went by and he was still sporting that hillbilly look. Month after month his tooth did not come in.

He had swim lessons, the first day of school, his 6th birthday, his first school photo, Halloween, everything over the coarse of the next 6 months took place without that front tooth! Why was the other front tooth so far behind? Was it going to fall out the moment the first one grew in? I began to wonder.

Eventually in November he lost the other front tooth.

It was just in time for him to sing the classic “all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” and that’s what he got.

They both grew in together right at Christmas time which leads me to believe the first one came out a little prematurely. There is a backstory that I hadn’t mentioned. There is always a backstory.

The day Z lost his tooth at the church the kids were playing around with a child harness. You know, the kind that looks like a little animal back pack with a tail. Or some people compare it to a leash. I don’t necessarily like to think of it like that, but it doesn’t help when SJ has Z parading around in public on all fours while she walks him. She was very serious about this. These photos were taken on the day Z lost his tooth.

Apparently at the time of the incident she was wearing the back pack and he was pulling on the handle with his teeth. One swift jerk from her and out flew the tooth. He bled a little, but he didn’t seem that upset, so I guess it helped that it was a baby tooth that would have come out anyway. Although, maybe it would have waited a few months if it didn’t have the extra encouragement.

A while later he lost another tooth, like LOST lost, again. He probably did swallow it, I don’t know. I felt bad for him though, so I left a note from the tooth fairy stating that she heard he had lost a tooth and gave him a dollar anyway. So Z responded with a note of his own along with returning the money. I guess his conscience couldn’t handle the weight of accepting a gift when he had nothing to give? I dunno. He’s one of kind that kid. Here is the letter.

I’ll translate it for you

 “Dear The Tooth Fairy,
You are cool and I loved that card that you sent me. And I love you. The End. Yours.” 

I like how he tried to copy the cursive signature I left on the original note. So cute.

And here is his drawing

Those are all of Z’s tooth stories, at least for now. I guess he’s not quite half way done, but I am expecting the rest to be a little less eventful.

In case the title doesn’t already indicate, this post will have a tad bit TMI. Believe it or not there are a handful of gents that read messy mom and I would hate for them to not get a fair warning.

First off, after our holiday trip to Texas we were welcomed back with some dangerously cold weather that kept the schools shut down two days in a row.

 Having surprise days off is always a treat so I hate to whine about it, but the bitter sub zero days are nothing like the fluffy white snow days where you can play outside. So we went from being trapped in a car on our way to Ohio to being trapped in the apartment.  

It wasn’t so bad. J had made a big pot of chili and being in the apartment felt spacious after being together in the car for 24 hours. The trouble hit when after two years of no period (thank you pregnancy and breast feeding) I started my cycle. Of all the times, it was the morning that the inclement weather hit. When the dangerous weather was predicted we got food, we got diapers, we made sure we had plenty of toilet paper. What didn’t we have? Pads. So first thing that Monday morning I had to send J out into the freezing, windy, icy warfare for one thing and one thing only (but lots of it)! He did have to phone a friend call me from the feminine hygiene aisle while he stared blankly at the endless boxes of pink, but he managed to stock me up. Man of year I tell ya, Man of the year.

So back at the camp J and I were discussing the actual temperature verses the “feels like” temperature. 

You know what I am talking about. On the news or your weather app, or whatever, it will say the temperature outside is 45 degrees, but feels like 32. Or this one is called “real feel” (which I had never heard before).

Where does this “feels like” temp come from anyway? A quick search on google tells me it is

 “the temperature at the reference humidity level producing the same amount of discomfort as that experienced under the current ambient temperature and humidity”. 

Um, yeah right. You can get all scientific if you want, but I think I know what’s going on here. It’s the same way I got 7 hours of sleep, but because all 3 kids were in the bed it FEELS LIKE I only had 4. Or, I know I had a full breakfast, but I am a busy nursing mom, so when I pass by dunkin donuts it FEELS LIKE I am still hungry. I can just imagine the hard-nosed meteorologist that came up with this. He’s sitting outside all bundled up in his winter coat and he mentions to his intern “Whew, it’s got to be like 20 degrees out here!” The nerdy intern responds, “with all due respect sir it’s actually only 37”. “Yeah, well it FEELS like it’s 20 and I am putting that in the forecast!”. 

Whether it’s sleep, hunger, or the forecast the “Feels Like” is almost never for the better. It’s always something like 90 degrees, but FEELS LIKE 108.

 Very rarely do I think or READ that it’s 95 degrees outside, but don’t worry it feels like 80. Then again when I am on Pinterest and I’m short on time because I need to be cleaning it somehow FEELS LIKE I have all the time in the world. Speaking of which, I really need to get off the computer. This has been a fun discussion though. Stay warm friends. 

Okay, so first of all I am not pregnant. I am the guilty party that always assumes that someone is pregnant when they make a statement like “big announcement”. And I’ll admit, I am always a little disappointed when the announcement is anything other than having a baby. Now that I have gotten that out of the way let me explain what the less-cute, but still life-altering announcement is.

In the past 2 years that we’ve been mostly unemployed it’s felt like the 40 years that the Israelites wandered in the desert (I almost said dessert. 40 years of dessert wouldn’t be so bad). In this season of uncertainty so many people have told J who he needs to become or what he needs to do. They are encouraging words, but it only makes it more confusing when there is so much conflicting advice. He is a talented musician, minister, carpenter, designer and more. The problem is he hasn’t been able to find a way to make a steady income with any of it, despite everyone agreeing that he is amazing and should be able to rake in the dough just by looking at a job opportunity. Unfortunately that is not the case. As you all know we came to Ohio with our basic necessities and no plan other than to get SJ into a good school with a good audiologist.

Ohio has some wonderful programs for job placement. You can’t get government assistance here without being a part of the workforce coalition, which is the way it should always be (but I’ll try not to get too political here). When a professional advisor sat down to talk with J about our situation, he presented the opportunity for J to go back to school. He could get a grant to cover the cost of tuition, and they would look at his skill sets, entry level pay scale, and projected growth in each field to see what the best career choice would be.

It’s been almost 15 years since J has been in school. Returning to school has always been something he has kept in the back of his mind, but you know how the back of the mind works. Stuff stays back there forever, unless something happens that is jarring enough to jostle everything inside of you. Which is our story. Everything came down to a mathematical statistic of what would be pretty close to guaranteeing us some stability in the next couple years. I know it’s not as simple as it sounds, but after so many doors seemingly shut in his face, this is the open door that we’ve been praying for. I am sure you’ve already figured out what the big announcement is, but this semester J has started going to school full time. He’s going to Cincinnati State majoring in Computer Science and Database Management.

This is a picture of the Library although most of those books are for school. 

 It will definitely be a challenge, but IT work is something that J is good at and enjoys doing.  I love seeing him inspired and motivated again. You can see life in his eyes knowing that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I am so proud of him. It takes a lot of courage to go back to school at 37 years old. The “it’s never too late” mentality shows the commitment and dedication that he has to succeed. It won’t be easy and we will all have to make sacrifices, especially J, but it will be worth it. If you know Dave Ramsey’s teaching, then you know what I mean when I say it will be a season of gazelle intensity.

Most of his classes are online and since our apartment is way to chaotic to concentrate J goes to school at Starbuck’s.

We are still unsure about how it is all going to work, but I know that it will. Jeremiah 29:11 says God has plans for us to prosper and not be harmed, to have a future filled with hope.

This was his first day going to the actual campus since enrollment. Yay! 

So a big thank you to all have been praying for us, and please keep them coming as we embark upon yet another chapter in our journey.