Just giving you a heads up, this season (the whole big chunk of time between February and May) can be a little emotional for me. I am certain it won’t always be like this, but as I get ready for SJ’s 4th birthday it brings up a lot of memories from the last two years. SJ was not diagnosed with hearing loss on her 2nd birthday, but it was at her 2 year well child visit that they referred us to an ENT to have her hearing checked and it progressed from there. So I will probably be writing about some of my feelings here on my blog. I worry that hashing through all of this all over again may not be the most popular topic on the internet. The bad news is I don’t make a dime off of this blog, the good news is I guess that means I can write about whatever I want. Journals, essays, and poetry are how I work through things. I’ve used this approach to cope with life’s struggles from as early as I could make any sense with a pencil. I would write to express myself. It hasn’t changed in 25 years except I type now.

When Z looses teeth it’s a production. I don’t mean that he is dramatic about it, but it’s never as simple as- Tooth falls out. Goes under pillow. Tooth fairy comes. The end.

 It all began on Christmas eve of 2012. I have it documented here on Messy Mom. He lost his first tooth Christmas eve, which I am sure made the tooth fairy excited because that meant she could carpool with Santa. Much to our surprise when Z woke up Christmas morning there were two teeth missing. I panicked thinking he swallowed it, but he informed us that he stuck it under his pillow in the middle of the night. We were lucky enough to be able to sneak the tooth out from underneath his pillow and replace it with an additional dollar while he was explaining the whole story, but it was a close one.

The next significant lost tooth happened in June last year. It was after church and the kids were running around like wild maniacs, the way they always do when church lets out. Suddenly Z freaks out and announced that he lost his tooth. He literally lost it. I once again was worried that he swallowed it. Although, I don’t know why that is such a concern of mine. If he did swallow it he obviously hadn’t choked. Fortunately a friend of ours spotted the little lost tooth and we were able to save it for the tooth fairy that evening.

It was cute to see him missing that front tooth. He seemed like such a big boy. Then several months went by and he was still sporting that hillbilly look. Month after month his tooth did not come in.

He had swim lessons, the first day of school, his 6th birthday, his first school photo, Halloween, everything over the coarse of the next 6 months took place without that front tooth! Why was the other front tooth so far behind? Was it going to fall out the moment the first one grew in? I began to wonder.

Eventually in November he lost the other front tooth.

It was just in time for him to sing the classic “all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” and that’s what he got.

They both grew in together right at Christmas time which leads me to believe the first one came out a little prematurely. There is a backstory that I hadn’t mentioned. There is always a backstory.

The day Z lost his tooth at the church the kids were playing around with a child harness. You know, the kind that looks like a little animal back pack with a tail. Or some people compare it to a leash. I don’t necessarily like to think of it like that, but it doesn’t help when SJ has Z parading around in public on all fours while she walks him. She was very serious about this. These photos were taken on the day Z lost his tooth.

Apparently at the time of the incident she was wearing the back pack and he was pulling on the handle with his teeth. One swift jerk from her and out flew the tooth. He bled a little, but he didn’t seem that upset, so I guess it helped that it was a baby tooth that would have come out anyway. Although, maybe it would have waited a few months if it didn’t have the extra encouragement.

A while later he lost another tooth, like LOST lost, again. He probably did swallow it, I don’t know. I felt bad for him though, so I left a note from the tooth fairy stating that she heard he had lost a tooth and gave him a dollar anyway. So Z responded with a note of his own along with returning the money. I guess his conscience couldn’t handle the weight of accepting a gift when he had nothing to give? I dunno. He’s one of kind that kid. Here is the letter.

I’ll translate it for you

 “Dear The Tooth Fairy,
You are cool and I loved that card that you sent me. And I love you. The End. Yours.” 

I like how he tried to copy the cursive signature I left on the original note. So cute.

And here is his drawing

Those are all of Z’s tooth stories, at least for now. I guess he’s not quite half way done, but I am expecting the rest to be a little less eventful.

In case the title doesn’t already indicate, this post will have a tad bit TMI. Believe it or not there are a handful of gents that read messy mom and I would hate for them to not get a fair warning.

First off, after our holiday trip to Texas we were welcomed back with some dangerously cold weather that kept the schools shut down two days in a row.

 Having surprise days off is always a treat so I hate to whine about it, but the bitter sub zero days are nothing like the fluffy white snow days where you can play outside. So we went from being trapped in a car on our way to Ohio to being trapped in the apartment.  

It wasn’t so bad. J had made a big pot of chili and being in the apartment felt spacious after being together in the car for 24 hours. The trouble hit when after two years of no period (thank you pregnancy and breast feeding) I started my cycle. Of all the times, it was the morning that the inclement weather hit. When the dangerous weather was predicted we got food, we got diapers, we made sure we had plenty of toilet paper. What didn’t we have? Pads. So first thing that Monday morning I had to send J out into the freezing, windy, icy warfare for one thing and one thing only (but lots of it)! He did have to phone a friend call me from the feminine hygiene aisle while he stared blankly at the endless boxes of pink, but he managed to stock me up. Man of year I tell ya, Man of the year.

So back at the camp J and I were discussing the actual temperature verses the “feels like” temperature. 

You know what I am talking about. On the news or your weather app, or whatever, it will say the temperature outside is 45 degrees, but feels like 32. Or this one is called “real feel” (which I had never heard before).

Where does this “feels like” temp come from anyway? A quick search on google tells me it is

 “the temperature at the reference humidity level producing the same amount of discomfort as that experienced under the current ambient temperature and humidity”. 

Um, yeah right. You can get all scientific if you want, but I think I know what’s going on here. It’s the same way I got 7 hours of sleep, but because all 3 kids were in the bed it FEELS LIKE I only had 4. Or, I know I had a full breakfast, but I am a busy nursing mom, so when I pass by dunkin donuts it FEELS LIKE I am still hungry. I can just imagine the hard-nosed meteorologist that came up with this. He’s sitting outside all bundled up in his winter coat and he mentions to his intern “Whew, it’s got to be like 20 degrees out here!” The nerdy intern responds, “with all due respect sir it’s actually only 37”. “Yeah, well it FEELS like it’s 20 and I am putting that in the forecast!”. 

Whether it’s sleep, hunger, or the forecast the “Feels Like” is almost never for the better. It’s always something like 90 degrees, but FEELS LIKE 108.

 Very rarely do I think or READ that it’s 95 degrees outside, but don’t worry it feels like 80. Then again when I am on Pinterest and I’m short on time because I need to be cleaning it somehow FEELS LIKE I have all the time in the world. Speaking of which, I really need to get off the computer. This has been a fun discussion though. Stay warm friends. 

Okay, so first of all I am not pregnant. I am the guilty party that always assumes that someone is pregnant when they make a statement like “big announcement”. And I’ll admit, I am always a little disappointed when the announcement is anything other than having a baby. Now that I have gotten that out of the way let me explain what the less-cute, but still life-altering announcement is.

In the past 2 years that we’ve been mostly unemployed it’s felt like the 40 years that the Israelites wandered in the desert (I almost said dessert. 40 years of dessert wouldn’t be so bad). In this season of uncertainty so many people have told J who he needs to become or what he needs to do. They are encouraging words, but it only makes it more confusing when there is so much conflicting advice. He is a talented musician, minister, carpenter, designer and more. The problem is he hasn’t been able to find a way to make a steady income with any of it, despite everyone agreeing that he is amazing and should be able to rake in the dough just by looking at a job opportunity. Unfortunately that is not the case. As you all know we came to Ohio with our basic necessities and no plan other than to get SJ into a good school with a good audiologist.

Ohio has some wonderful programs for job placement. You can’t get government assistance here without being a part of the workforce coalition, which is the way it should always be (but I’ll try not to get too political here). When a professional advisor sat down to talk with J about our situation, he presented the opportunity for J to go back to school. He could get a grant to cover the cost of tuition, and they would look at his skill sets, entry level pay scale, and projected growth in each field to see what the best career choice would be.

It’s been almost 15 years since J has been in school. Returning to school has always been something he has kept in the back of his mind, but you know how the back of the mind works. Stuff stays back there forever, unless something happens that is jarring enough to jostle everything inside of you. Which is our story. Everything came down to a mathematical statistic of what would be pretty close to guaranteeing us some stability in the next couple years. I know it’s not as simple as it sounds, but after so many doors seemingly shut in his face, this is the open door that we’ve been praying for. I am sure you’ve already figured out what the big announcement is, but this semester J has started going to school full time. He’s going to Cincinnati State majoring in Computer Science and Database Management.

This is a picture of the Library although most of those books are for school. 

 It will definitely be a challenge, but IT work is something that J is good at and enjoys doing.  I love seeing him inspired and motivated again. You can see life in his eyes knowing that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I am so proud of him. It takes a lot of courage to go back to school at 37 years old. The “it’s never too late” mentality shows the commitment and dedication that he has to succeed. It won’t be easy and we will all have to make sacrifices, especially J, but it will be worth it. If you know Dave Ramsey’s teaching, then you know what I mean when I say it will be a season of gazelle intensity.

Most of his classes are online and since our apartment is way to chaotic to concentrate J goes to school at Starbuck’s.

We are still unsure about how it is all going to work, but I know that it will. Jeremiah 29:11 says God has plans for us to prosper and not be harmed, to have a future filled with hope.

This was his first day going to the actual campus since enrollment. Yay! 

So a big thank you to all have been praying for us, and please keep them coming as we embark upon yet another chapter in our journey.

Z’s school has several different dress up days celebrating how long they have been in school. I love costumes and vintage clothes so I took the opportunity and ran with it. Or, at least as much as I could without spending any money. Actually, I did spend about $5 total because I bought a couple items from the thrift store. Seriously though, the bell bottoms were in a 50 cents bin. You can’t beat that!

SJ had her first Christmas pageant this year. I bought her a special dress and a bow that jingled. She loved it and wanted to wear it around the house.

I tried to tell her, and sign to her, that she could wear it later, but she didn’t understand. She cried. She grabbed the dress and screamed MINE! Then she signed Beautiful, beautiful. I felt so bad that I had to take it away and that we are no where near the place in our communication where she could understand “you have to save this dress for your winter program at school”. I know that even a hearing three year old would more than likely still not comply,  but at least they would know why you were taking it away.

When the time came for her to wear the dress I curled her hair and my mom bought her new shoes. She was quite the Christmas princess as she stood on the stage that night.

 Her part was to say “I love you mommy, daddy, Z, baby Ezie”. She didn’t quite get all that out, but she signed daddy and said “ma ma daddy. Deemah. I love you mama” and the reason she said Deemah is because that is her classmates name and she saw Deemah’s mom in the crowd.

The next day at the school’s Christmas party Santa gave her a present.

 SJ unwrapped it to find a simple paper back book called “The Littlest Christmas Star”.

I smiled and was happy for her, but when I read it aloud I realized it was so much more than just a story. It was about a boy that wanted to have a big part in his Christmas play at school, but all of the major roles were taken. His part was to dress up like the Bethlehem star and he only had one little line which was “follow me”. At the end of book it talks about the bright light shining down on him. The crowd cheered, and he knew then, that even though he may have had a small part, he was a BIG star. I would say that book was more than just a gift from Santa to SJ, I think it was also a gift from my heavenly Father to me. Seeing SJ in the winter program could have been a reminder for me of how far behind she is compared to the other kids in her class. She can’t speak as well as her friends and she couldn’t quite muster out the words they had practiced for weeks, but still, that night as she stood up there and spoke into the microphone she was my shining star.

In SJ’s fundraiser letter last year I said “please join us as we help SJ reach her fullest potential and shine on” and so many people came together to help make that happen. In fact, I have a dear friend that wanted to donate, but wasn’t able to at the time. When I saw her over the holiday break she gave us a Christmas card with a generous amount inside to go toward SJ’s school. What she didn’t realize was that it was the EXACT amount that we owe on her tuition from last year. Isn’t God good?  I am so glad SJ gets to go to this school and I’m thrilled to see and hear the progress she is making. I can’t even imagine what she will be saying next Christmas. Shine on my little star. Shine on!

It was a very craft-full Christmas this year.

Now that Z and SJ are in school (including Sunday School) I had Christmas art projects coming home nearly everyday of December and we did Truth In The Tinsel ornaments on top of all that. It worked out well since I didn’t decorate this year. The kids were always taping their art to the wall or putting things in our mini Christmas tree. It made our home feel a lot more festive having their contributions.

Z insisted we hang this wreath on the door. The assignment was to cut and glue 70 dots.

Some of the most memorable/laughable Christmas Craft moments were when…

SJ got a hold of the white feathers that were used for the angel ornament and she stuck them all in her head band.

On top of all the fun crafts Z’s school does Santa shop, which is were the kids can bring money to school and buy gifts for their family. This is my first time experiencing anything like this, but it was really neat. Z had money from his chores so he cleared out his entire “Dave Ramsey Junior SPEND envelope” to buy presents for his family. Even though they were humble little gifts, the thought and consideration he put into it literally brought me to tears.

J got a mini tape measurer, which as you can imagine was perfect for him, especially since the kids broke his old one. Ezie got a little xylophone and he loves music and has had a blast banging on that thing. SJ got a princess pony with fairy wings. That was home run too.

Lastly, Z handed me my present. I already had a clue what it was, because he told me. But even though I knew it was a ring I constantly forbid him to give me anymore details. As I untaped the little package and pulled out the treasure inside Z announced “it’s green, because that’s your favorite color and then he slid the itty bitty ring onto my pinky finger. It was one of my favorite Christmas moments ever.

 This was his first school photo.

New Year’s day is one of my favorite days of year. I love looking back, I love looking ahead. I love to feel like I have a fresh clean slate to work with. For 2013 I had 13 goals and I accomplished most of them even if they were only partial success.

1. I did get the kids on a schedule (I kind of have to with school and all).
2. I did learn more signs and become more comfortable with signing in general.
3. I have been very active with the kids
4. I donated my hair to locks of love

*

5. We did move to Ohio
6. I visited Texas, but unfortunately not Michigan.
7. I did three video shoots with my brother
8. I worked on expanding my geographic knowledge and Z learned the 50 states!
9. We didn’t manage to have a date night once a month, but we came pretty close.
10. We never had our family portrait updated, but we have a decent one of the 5 of us from Easter.
11. I organized and pulled off some awesome birthday parties

As far as the ones that never made the cut this year

1. We DID NOT eat vitamins and veggies everyday. I regret it, and I still want to work on this.
2.  I never managed to have alone time once a month (surprise surprise)

This year I had in my mind that instead of a lengthy list of specific tasks to accomplish I would pick out  few things to focus on. This list is not exhaustive and my core values are still my priority, but these are things I feel like could use a lot more attention.

1. Blogging
So maybe this won’t be the year that I launch a completely new word press site, but I really want to challenge myself more when it comes to writing, coding, and photography.

2. Reading
This may sound contradictory to the last focus, but I want to be on the computer less and reading an actual published book more. I feel like I have been overloaded with articles from Facebook and Pinterest. Some are great and some are just a big fat argument waiting to happen, even if it’s just me venting to my husband. I am kicking off this new year with a Facebook fast and a long list of books I want to read or reread.

3. Cleaning
When I started working in October I kind of fell off the Fly Lady wagon. To be honest it was more like the entire wagon rolled into a ditch and isn’t even recognizable anymore. I’ve said before, but I’ll say it again mostly to remind myself. My tiny home doesn’t leave much wiggle room for clutter or uncleanliness. If a really tall man gains 10 pounds you would never even notice it, but if a short woman does she needs to go shopping because her clothes don’t fit anymore. My apartment is a very petite woman. This year I want to finish some of the decor projects that were left incomplete from 2013 and I want to try and get back into my flylady routine. A clean apartment changes the way my family feels and interacts with each other. I’m on it.

So that’s it. Clean, Read, Blog, Repeat. Happy 2014 everybody!

* That first photo is my “before” picture and I was doing my best to look disheveled (pretty good right?) And the after picture was immediately after I had my hair cut and I hated how limp it was. I printed out several pictures for the stylist and aparantley chunky layers doesn’t mean anything to her. I reluctantly went after my hair with some scissors and chopped it up on my own later. Why did I spend $50?