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Thanks Given

I have blogged twice this month. That must be a record breaking low. I definitely have plans to get back into the swing of things, but in the mean time the least I can do is post a few photos from Thanksgiving (which was also our Christmas) with my side of the family.

My brother took this next set of photos. 

That last shot (no pun intended) is of my sister-in-law. A couple people got pellet guns for Christmas. My parents live out in the country, but it’s not completely rural. The cops actually visited the house the day after Thanksgiving because the nursing home had complained about the shooting. There’s never a dull moment with our clan. 
Lastly, this is an instagram of one Z’s school projects. I think his spelling fitting. The holidays are sure to be a success as long as long as there is “Thanks Given”. 
By |2015-05-14T23:15:33+00:00December 17, 2013|Uncategorized|3 Comments
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Truth In The Tinsel 2013

I have been way behind on blogging for a lot of different reasons, including tons of Holiday festivities. One of the things I have really been wanting to share is about the advent project I’ve been doing with the kids. I started writing this post 2 weeks ago before we started advent! This is like my 4th attempt, we’ll see if I actually get it posted this time. Here goes,

This is our first year to try Truth In The Tinsel.

 If you haven’t heard of it, it is an awesome devotion/advent/Christmas-craft-activity that teaches kids the story of Jesus birth. Not just a little snapshot for the Sunday before Christmas, but a daily devotion that really digs into the Biblical account of Christ’s birth in a way that little ones can grasp.

I was a bit apprehensive at first. I had the same feeling I did when I started the 31 day series because it’s something that I committed to at the last minute with little or no preparation. But we are about half way through now and so far it has been GREAT!

Each day Z will find “a clue” in his Bible. I just taped a CD envelope on the inside cover of his Bible. It’s perfect because the envelope has a clear window on the front so he can see the clue right away.

Then we look up a passage in scripture and pick out where the clue is found in the Bible. Z loves this part, and since he is now learning to read it’s the perfect opportunity for him to learn how to find references in the Bible.

Then we talk about it and make an ornament to go along with the lesson for the day.

Here are some the first 10  days as seen through my iPhone.

Day 1: Light 
We used streamers instead of tissue paper because that’s what I had on hand

Day 2: Kingdom
I didn’t have toilet paper rolls, but the kids had just as much fun with thick yellow paper and the crowns turned out great. 

Day 3: Zechariah
  I bought goggly eyes and lost them, go figure. But this was a fun one and we were at my parents, who luckily had bubble wrap. 

Day 4: Gabriel
 I know our version is a little feminine, and we did not have a bell, but my niece and daughter loved this one. SJ said “butterfly”  

Day5 & 9: Mary and Joseph
We did these on separate days. I did not have a clothes pin so we just did a coloring sheet and ornament frames, but next year I would love to make the dolls so that we can act stuff out. 

Day 6: Mary and Elizabeth
 We used leftover bubbles from Day 3 for the pregnant bellies.

Day 7: Sun
 We had chocolate gold coins and so we used those wrappers for the sun. It turned out really pretty and the chocolate was delicious. 

Day 8: Mary’s Song
 We had a disc with a blank white front so Z painted it because that is his favorite thing to do. 

Day 9: Joseph’s Dream
 This was my favorite because, even though it wasn’t called for, I decided to teach Z to sew and he fell in love with it. He wants to do it everyday. 

Many of these are modified from the books version for time sake or lack of materials  (I made notations in red for those participating), but that’s all part of the fun. I’ve enjoyed seeing all the Facebook posts showing variations and personalization of the same craft.

If you haven’t checked out Truth in the Tinsel or seen it floating around on Pinterest you should take a peak. It’s not too late to implement one of the modified schedules or pick and choose for yourself what and how you want to do it, and of course there is always next year, and the year after that.  Not to name drop, but I happen to know Amanda White (author, creator, blogger extraordinaire) personally from when I lived in Atlanta, and she is the real deal. With that said, this is not a promotional post, I did not get paid, no freebies. She doesn’t even know I am writing this, so it’s all totally unbiased and true.

I can’t wait to work on the rest of Truth in the Tinsel and I am already taking notes on what I can do next year. Not only have I loved teaching my kids about the story of Christ’s arrival, but I am learning a lot too. Hooray for Advent!

By |2015-05-14T23:15:33+00:00December 10, 2013|Uncategorized|3 Comments
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Grieving Together

I wanted to update all of my readers on how the Keith family is doing. In case you haven’t seen my last post our dear pastor lost his granddaughter on Thanksgiving day. We are close with their whole family and our children play in the nursery together at least once a week. Although we are still mourning the loss of this precious 18 month old baby we will be celebrating her life tomorrow at her funeral.

The family is doing as well as could be expected. The other two girls have been tested and are completely healthy. As far as I know the cause of death is unknown. The autopsy showed nothing wrong with PK. She went down for a nap and despite her mother knowing CPR and a pulse being detected she still did not make it. God had a plan in mind for her and she is now walking on streets of gold.

On Sunday pastor spoke about crisis at Christmas (the message was already planned). During communion the elders came up behind the pastor and lifted up his arms and prayed for him.

It was a beautiful moment. Pastor also thanked everyone for the outpouring of love and sympathy and then he read this letter from my dad.

“When we lost Zeb, there was such outpouring from the body of Christ. We will never forget it. One letter in particular touched me more than any other. Not because of the eloquent words, but because of the sincerity and the fact that such wisdom could come from a 16 year old young man. I hear the heart of a pastor in it. It has endeared me to not only him, but your whole family.

It was written in his own hand writing on a simple piece of paper ripped from a spiral bound notebook, but we have cherished it and kept it all these years. Hopefully the words will bring as much comfort to you as they did to me in this time. Our hearts ache.”
Here is an excerpt from that letter written by PK’s dad 22 years ago, before he was a husband, before he was a dad, before he lost a child. 
“I just want you to know that you have a church family that’s backing you up all the way and what you go through we all go through also. WE feel your pain, and we sympathize with you. I know that you all are strong enough to make it through this tough time, for you do not go through it alone. I love every one of you as if a family member, and when you need help call me.” 
There was a lot more to it than that, but this is the part that I could now say right back to his family in the midst of this valley without changing a single word. 
I know the funeral is going to be tough. It brings back a lot of memories for me since Zeb’s funeral was at the same church with many of the same people. A couple nights ago as I was putting Zion to bed I held his hand and laid there in the dark with tears rolling down my cheeks. Zeb was just a little older than Zion when he passed away. This isn’t something I think about a lot, but like the letter said what one goes through we all go through. Our brother and sister in Christ lost their child, and I am hurting for them. 
PK’s mom is the nursery coordinator (among so many other things that she does around the church). She has been spending the past several months figuring out a way to do a complete overhaul to the sorely outdated facility. She was the one that decided that in lieu of flowers, donation could be made in PK’s honor to renovate the nursery. PK loved the nursery and to have it dedicated to her and have her memory cherished and appreciated by all her friends and the future of the church body sounds like the best idea ever! 
I know I am going on and on, but as you can tell this has touched me deeply. Pastor said that when PK’s older sister (who is 6) asked about if PK was coming home from the hospital he told her “You know how sometimes you fall asleep downstairs and then you wake up the next day in your bed and you didn’t even realize that anything had happened? Well that is what happened with your sister.” She fell asleep at home and woke up in her heavenly home for all eternity and one day we will all be reunited singing praises to our God who is still on His throne. 
By |2015-05-14T23:15:33+00:00December 4, 2013|Uncategorized|2 Comments
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Grieving on this Holiday Weekend

I had a Thanksgiving post planned. It was going to be about heritage. I am so thankful for my heritage and it’s been on my heart lately since recently Ezie was dedicated in the same church and by the same pastor where I was dedicated as a baby. 

Our church is even called Heritage Fellowship so heritage is of great importance to us.

The reason I did not get this post published is because on Thanksgiving day before we sat down to eat dinner tragedy struck and we had been informed that our pastor’s granddaughter who is 18 months old suddenly, and completely unexpectedly, stopped breathing. She still had a pulse so we, along with all those connected to this family from all around the world, began to pray. Unfortunately later that evening we read this update from the pastor (I put the initials of his granddaughter instead of her name).

Today, I am thankful that my son and his wife know the Lord. It is in times like this we are very grateful that they have family and friends who love them. Thankful for the support system they have, a support system of people of faith who will be praying for them as they are passing through the valley of Baca (the valley of weeping).


Earth has no sorrows, that Heaven cannot heal. God gave them beautiful little twin girls. Today the Lord who does all things right, chose to take PK home earlier than the rest of us. We are thankful for the blessing she has been, the joy she has given us, and the place in our hearts that she will always have. Thank you Lord for the privilege we had to love this special God given baby. We thank you because we know that you make all things work together for good.

Since then both of their other daughters were admitted to the hospital. I have no information on what type of illness this is (if that is even what it is). I do know that their oldest daughter who is Z’s age (6) has been discharged and this is the latest update about PK’s twin.


PL is still in Children’s Hospital in Cincinnati. They will finish their testing today, late last night they were planning on a spinal tap this morning. 

My heart has been broken over all this. Pastor and his family were there for us when we lost my little brother 22 years ago. In fact my dad even pulled out a letter of sympathy that he had saved, which was written by Pastor’s son (the twins father who is shown standing beside pastor in the photo above). 

When we moved here almost two years ago our Pastor’s daughter-in-law (the twins mother) was pregnant with the twins while I was pregnant with Ezie. We had plenty in common just from motherhood and pregnancy, but we bonded more when SJ was diagnosed because she happens to work for an ENT. In fact she “moved mountains” to get us an appointment with one of the best ENTs in the nation and then she got the appointment date moved up so that we could see him sooner. He is the Doctor that we go to today and I am so grateful that we had this connection. My friend also recently wrote a letter on SJ’s behalf to an association that gives scholarships to children with hearing loss. The letter brought me to tears, and I was so grateful for her friendship and how she has been there for me in the midst of such a difficult time.

 I had no idea what she would have to go through though. I can’t even imagine being in their shoes on Thanksgiving day. As a church we are all mourning this loss. I worked in the nursery for the Friday night service and knowing that PK is gone is very difficult to process. This is a little shot of her and Ezie hanging out in the nursery a few weeks ago. 

I know all of you mothers and friends reading this can imagine the blanket of sorrow that is covering the church right now as we grieve the loss of this precious little life. PLEASE pray for the Keith family this Holiday season. This is a hard enough thing to go through without it happening on Thanksgiving day. This family has walked through some difficult times with us, and now we are ready to walk along side them, and just be there for comfort and support knowing that, as pastor said, God makes all things work together for good. 

By |2015-05-14T23:15:33+00:00December 1, 2013|Uncategorized|4 Comments
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What Was Fall

When I think about what the seasons feel like here in middle America I feel like it’s mostly winter and summer with little slivers of transition that we call spring and fall. I know all about the solstice, yeah, yeah. But summer this year, although very mild, lingered into October


On a school field trip to the pumpkin patch in October. Feeling totally comfortable in shorts and a tank top! 

and as Halloween drew nearer I wasn’t sure if we were going to see much with the fall foliage this year, but it did happen,


I could have an entire album of photos of the trees with how gorgeous it was this year, but I’ll just have to hold onto my mental snapshots because I was way too busy to venture out with my camera. 

just in time before the first snow in mid November.

So the postcard-worthy autumn lasted barely a month, but I still enjoyed every bit of it.

We pressed and ironed leaves that we collected earlier in October.

When the leaves started falling and Z asked if we could make a big pile to play in I told him we didn’t have a rake. We actually don’t even have a yard, but the next day as we made our way to the bus and rustled through the crunchy brown layers on the ground he said “mom, I know you said we don’t have a rake, but could we just play in the leaves?” How could I refuse? We found a patch of grass where autumn leaves abound and those three had the time of their lives. I am so glad we stopped to enjoy this season, however brief it is.

By |2015-05-14T23:15:33+00:00November 25, 2013|Uncategorized|2 Comments
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A Recap of the First Year with Cochlear Implants

It’s been a year since SJ had her cochlear implant activated. There have been a lot of highs and lows, but I feel like FINALLY, we are getting some momentum and everyday SJ is saying new words and responding with a new level of understanding. In order to document what’s happened this past year I wanted to do a little recap. And even though SJ’s situation is not typical, especially compared to a baby diagnosed at infancy, I still hope that this time line could be informative for parents of deaf children researching what to expect. Here is the progress from SJ first 12 months of hearing beginning at age 2 1/2.

1. On November 21, 2012 SJ cochlear implant was activated. They call this the hearing birthday. It was not the party I was expecting. She barely responded and she did not want to wear it. I tried to be positive and I didn’t even expound too much about my disappointment on my blog, but I actually cried a lot after we left the audiologist that day.


What may look insignificance was a huge milestone for SJ. It was exactly 6 months a

4. February was a big month for SJ because even though the surgery was scheduled the audiologist was not on board (because she is, in her words, conservative about these things) and we had to write to her respectfully disagreeing with her decision. We had run-ins with insurance as well, but following the advice of SJ’s ENT, teachers, therapists, and our own intuition, we pushed through until we could get 
was going to be best for our daughter and had the surgery approved. 
After all that we geared up for surgery, and it was successful.

At this point I was able to see a little more response from SJ in terms of hearing, but not much and her school was concerned because their professional diagnosis showed that she was not even detecting speech sounds and needed a new mapping. And they were right!

5. At the end of February SJ was activated on her left side and hearing bilaterally for the fist time. Despite the direct requests from the school and ENT, SJ’s audiologist still hesitated to add much volume to SJ’s implants (again she was self proclaimed “conservative”). In the meantime SJ’s was healing well and we were becoming more comfortable with the cochlear implant devices.

6. The school volunteered to have their audiologist take over with SJ’s mapping and it was like NIGHT AND DAY! It is so important to have the right mapping (in layman’s terms this is basically the setting/volume, it’s a complicated process). When SJ had her CI’s remapped in March she was really hearing most sounds for the first time and it was amazing to watch. She even said her first word, “up”

     

7 & 8. SJ continued to grow leaps and bounds once she had the proper mapping she was consistently turning to environmental sounds and to her name. She started saying uh-oh, more, and some animal noises on her own and many other words with prompting.

9. We raised money for SJ to be able to go to summer school and her vocabulary continued to grow to up to 20 words. Some days were better than others as far as communication related frustration and cooperation with even wearing the implants, but we were excited about the upcoming school year where SJ would be going full time.

10. On SJ’s first day of school we had to pick her up early to have a CT scan at the children’s hospital because her right implant was causing her pain. The scans came back fine, but apparently she had some shifting that is not traumatic, but does take a few weeks to heal before the scar tissue sets the device back into place. This was scary, but praise the Lord everything turned out fine.

 
11. At this point between IEP meetings, a research study group, and observations. I felt  like things were at a stand still again. It’s hard to see your child be so far behind her peers, but luckily I now know that it gets better.

12. In October SJ had a breakthrough. She can now refers to several people by name and she knows over 60 words. Everyday I hear her saying new things and I really, Really, REALLy believe that the worst is behind us this time.

*I am going to get a better video up soon! One where she is talking on her own without being fed all the answers! 

By |2023-06-12T06:22:57+00:00November 22, 2013|Cochlear Implants, Hearing Loss, Our Hearing Loss Journey, Uncategorized|3 Comments
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Is Your Girl Man Enough?

I’ve seen a lot of content online lately that is trying to give more credit to young girls by not limiting them to be a little beauty queen in the making. Yay, this sounds good! Here’s the deal though I HATE to be THAT mom that takes a good thing and finds something negative to say about it, but here goes nothing. I’ve kind of touched on this before in my response to anti-dove campaign when I said “I am not about to relinquish femininity just because it’s been distorted”. 

On a similar note I saw a kickstarter campaign last year that talked about a construction toy for girls that would promote building and engineering skills the same way Legos and Erector sets do for boys.

 I loved how creator, Debbie Sterling, did her research to find that making a building toy pink isn’t good enough. She found that girls are prone to enjoy reading so she incorporated a book so the toy would be both spacial and verbal and that’s how Goldie Blox began. I also love what Sterling has to say about her invention because she acknowledges that girls like to be princesses and play dress up and she embraces that, along with broadening the scope of what girls can do and be! The kickstarter talks about how only 10% of the engineering field is made up of women and Goldie Blox is determined to change that.
Fast forward a year and Goldie Blox is now funded and on the market! I just saw the commercial for it yesterday and I don’t want to pick it apart because it’s really cute. I even voted for it to be shown during Super Bowl and you can too if you want. 
The commercial shows a group of little girls creating a genius contraption, set to the tune of a Beastie Boys song except the lyrics are changed to 
“Girls! You think you know what we want. Pink and pretty it’s just like the 50’s. You like to buy us pink toys, and everything else is for boys, and you can always get us dolls, and we’ll grow up like them- false. It’s time to change. We deserve to see a range, cause all our toys look just the same, and we would like to use our brains. We are all more than princess maids…” 

The only thing I would urge parents to consider when trying to inspire and cultivate “spatial skills” in their daughters is that there are a lot of girls that may use these skills and have no interest in engineering. Believe me when I say that I am all about girls using their brains! I am just saying that the fact that the majority of girls are into horses, reading and writing more than rockets and forts isn’t necessarily a problem to be fixed. 

My sister-in-law is an engineer of sorts. She has a computer science degree and works in a male dominated field as a programmer analyst. I am extremely proud of all that she has accomplished in defying the odds and I would be thrilled if SJ followed in her footsteps. I also have 7 other sister-in-laws and several adult nieces  Most of them are nurses and teachers. The statistics for these jobs are the same as the engineering fields, but in reverse (way more women than men). Is it because we are stuck in the 1950’s like the commercial boasts, or is it that something inside of men are more inclined toward building and something inside of women wants to nurture? Sure there may be more men inventing, but behind every great man is… a mother that got him out of bed every morning and read to him every night. Or perhaps a female teacher that challenged him and kept him on track, or a wife that makes more money then he does as the CEO of a company (I am not totally old school here). 

I may not be an engineer, but I am certainly not a brain dead trophy wife. After having 3 children I know enough about breast feeding to be a lactation consultant and I’ve blogged so much about SJ’s diagnosis I could write a book about genetic sensorineural hearing loss or first language acquisition. It’s street smarts YO. Don’t be hatin’. Okay, that last part was a joke, but I am serious about the part that says we do not need to demean or discredit girls for following a more traditional roll as a woman. I know that even mentioning the “tradition roll of a woman” doesn’t fall in line with the more popular politically correct, abstract gender rolls of the 21st century, but I’m okay with that. 

Just to make sure I have been clear I think the Goldi Blox toys look amazing and I would definitely get something like that for SJ if she were a little older. We love the educational toys, always have. I like what Debbie Sterling is doing because there is so much garbage out there marketed towards our girls. But when I read on Forbes that “Ideally every occupation would be 50/50, with both genders bringing different perspectives to the table.” I beg to differ. We don’t have to make girls into builders to build and empower girls. 

By |2015-05-14T23:15:33+00:00November 21, 2013|Uncategorized|3 Comments
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Oh A Girl Will Be So Fun To Dress… They Say

This time 4 years ago I found out I was having a baby GIRL! From the moment we received the news everyone, whether they knew me or not, had something to say about the gender of the baby on the way. “OOOOOH a baby girl! They have the cutest stuff out there for little girls. Get ready to go shopping… the bows, the dresses, the shoes! You are going to have a blast”.

Now, I am not too much of a girly girl. I never have been that type, but I definitely got into the idea of having a little mini me sporting some trendy hipsters styles.

Then the sweet little baby doll arrived and for a brief time I got to play dress up. But SJ started dressing herself when she was a year old and since then it’s been like What Not To Wear child edition. In place of the secret footage like they do on the show, I have phone photos from the past year. 

She is wearing about 6 layers in this photo and her baby brother’s tie! 

More layers (that’s a fleece sweater underneath a short sleeved sweater) with flip flops. 
She’s got a Dora phone in her pocket, this girl is ready to do business. 

The plastic bag makes a good cape. 

Another cape? 

The white band across her forehead is backwards goggles. She went through a big time goggles stage. 

A baby romper as a shirt and a gazillion bows on the the neck and in the hair. 

Regular socks pulled up like knee highs and the usual conglomeration of color. 
I know a lot of kids like to do these kinds of things at home, and that’s one thing, but who on earth would let their child be seen in public like this?
 Me. I would. Why don’t I just pick out clothes and make her wear them? I will show you. The kids got I love Paris shirts from their grandma as souvenirs. I thought it would be a nice gesture to send her a photo of the kids wearing these gifts. SJ did not want to wear the shirt. These are the results. 

I never did get her to smile or look at the camera, but at least there is one shot that doesn’t look like she was being subjected to hellacious torment (the purple shirt in her hand is what she wanted to wear. I could not remove it from her kung fu grip). 

She doesn’t always get her way, but I choose my battles and I think we’ve both learned to compromise. So maybe getting to coordinate outfits for my daughter isn’t what I thought it would be, but I love her for the unique, determined individual that she is. Let’s just hope the worst is behind us and with any luck she’ll get it out of her system before she’s a teenager. 

By |2015-05-14T23:15:33+00:00November 19, 2013|Uncategorized|4 Comments
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Look Whose Talking (and walking, and reading)

 I feel privileged to be able to watch my children grow, develop, and blossom on a daily basis. I remember when we had a garden in Texas and I would get that giddy Christmas morning feeling everyday before I would go out to see if there was any knew growth. Maybe some seedlings have come up, or a flower bud on the summer squash vine, or a watermelon that is ready to pick and eat. It was my happy place. 

I think I am candid enough about my imperfect life that I don’t even need to go into how challenging motherhood can be, but right now I wake up with a Christmas morning feeling and it’s not because of the Holiday season. It’s because my children are on the verge of something new and I am anxious to see the growth. 

Ezie is walking and talking more and more. I finally got some of it on video. Excuse the mess. It’s like an obstacle course for the poor little fella. 

SJ is at a really fascinating place right now. I will do another post with more details, but the winds have changed for her recently and she is starting to really take off with oral communication. Since her vocabulary is so limited she will be very broad in how she uses the words she does know, and for me it is cute and exciting because I can literally see her learning to talk! For example she called a lobster a spider (lots of legs and exoskeleton),  a donkey is a horse (similar), a lollipop is ice cream (they are both sweet things that you lick). She says mommy or mama now! Be still my beating heart, I have waited so long for this. Like I said, I have a lot more to share about SJ, but for now the short story is that we have had some major breakthrough. 

Z is really excelling with his reading and writing skills, but he claims that math is his favorite. I met  with his teacher for a conference a couple weeks ago and it turns out that it is not my imagination, Z is a really bright kid that is testing above his age level (we are still keeping him in kindergarten though, for those wondering). She said he started out having some typical discipline issues at the beginning of the year, but now that he knows the expectations he is fine and he hasn’t given her any problems. I wish it were that simple at home! He’s doing well though. I love that he is at a place now that he can dress himself completely, including picking out his clothes. He can help load and unload certain parts of the dishwasher, and bring in light loads of groceries which is like Hallelujah Thank you Jesus! It’s so cool to have a big kid on my team!  

So that’s the latest with my 3 little bears. There are times you don’t even notice your children changing until you look back at a photo or something because it’s so subtle. Then there are times that you are watching them embark upon the next milestone right before your very eyes. I LOVE that! I can’t wait to see what they start to do next.

By |2015-05-14T23:15:33+00:00November 14, 2013|Uncategorized|1 Comment
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13 Year Makeover

J and I just celebrated 13 years of marriage.


Photo by Cracker Jack Photography taken on our 10 year anniversary

I feel a little guilty because what should be a celebration of the two of us as a couple, felt more like pamper the wife day. But J insisted and I am only going to resist the offer so many times, right?

They recently added “What Not To Wear” on Netflix and I have been ripping through each episode since I don’t have any other shows that I am watching right now. Watching Stacy and Clinton work their magic has definitely inspired me to spruce up my own look. Even though it’s a superficial endeavor I really feel like there has been one blessing after another allowing me to do something for myself.

First off I have a super sweet friend send me a gift card for clothes for me and the kids. I was able to get this sweater, the boots, and sooo much more for this upcoming season (Gap Clearance Store all the way!).

 I am honestly overwhelmed with gratitude.

 Then yesterday my parents watched the kids so that J and I could go out. First we hit up the mall and as soon as we walked into Dillard’s a lady handed me a card promoting Clinique’s latest offer which was to have a consultation and get lipstick and perfume free. It took me a minute. You want to give me a  makeover and free stuff? Right now? I don’t pay anything? Okay, where do I sign!?

The consultant was fabulous. I sat there with my eyes closed and mostly just forgot where I was. It was wonderful! At that point she could have given me clown makeup and I didn’t care. I was just happy to be sitting down and not responsible for anything. As the makeover progressed the other ladies at the counter starting commenting, and oohing and ahhing.

I was so anxious to see what the results would be. This lady spent more time on my eyes than I do on my entire face (and hair actually). Then it was just like on What Not To Wear with Carmindy, she was done and I could look in the mirror. It was dramatic and SO different then what I would normally do (on the days that do anything), but I loved it. I had a blast and J loved it too.

After the makeover we did some more shopping and just had an amazing time together. We love our kids, but do I even need to explain why we were thrilled to be childless?

Right now I would rate my marriage as a 10, but not all days are a perfect 10 you know? I don’t even like to think about the tough times our marriage has been through, let alone announce it on the internet, but there is no denying that there have been ups and downs in the past 13 years. It’s definitely not like the fairy tale you read about, and I think it’s important that we are honest about that. In fact, to quote a friend that has been married for over 30 years, “there were times if he were a fish I would have thrown him back in the water”. The good news is though, he is not a fish, and I am glad because I would have missed so much. J is the best husband I could ever ask for. My favorite thing about him, if I had to pick, is his integrity. I feel like we are finally learning how to express our love for each other and my love tank is full! If you would have seen me at the mall yesterday you would have caught me beaming, maybe even floating. I have tried to pinpoint what this feeling was. What is this thing that I have, for various reasons, never really allowed myself to feel for the longest time? Then it occurred to me. I can feel his adoration. I have learned how to be adored and it feels good.

By |2015-05-14T23:15:33+00:00November 11, 2013|Uncategorized|4 Comments
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