A year ago I posted some of the humorous lines I had heard Z say when he was 4 years old. If you didn’t see it you should check it out. We all got tons of laughs from the goofy perspective of our preschooler. He kept us laughing this year as well. I wish I could remember all of the funny moments, but at least I had some of them posted on Facebook which helps.

Here are ten of the most memorable conversations with Z at 5 years old

1. I told the kids they had to watch something educational (something they hear me say a lot). Then I thought I heard Z say “how about something rectal” I knew that couldn’t be right so I asked “something what?” and he repeated himself “rectal” I just stared in shock and confusion. He further explained,”Something Wreck-it-al, you know, like, Wreck It Ralph”. Although I like how he cleverly combined his favorite movie and the word “educational” it just didn’t work.

2. Conversation on the way to school. 


Me: Zion, do you think you would be interested in learning spanish? 
Zion: Well, I already know one language. 
Me: Yeah, what is that? 
Zion: Talking
Me: Talking is a verb it’s not your language. Do you know what language you speak?
Zion: Chinese. 
Me: No. What language do Americans speak?
Zion: American? 
Me: Closer. It’s English. We speak English. 
Zion: Oh. Never heard of it.

3. This one is in reference to his understanding (or lack) of his little sisters hearing loss. He says,
 “When I was two and I was deaf I didn’t follow directions either”.
Half of that is true. 

4. Another misconception of what it means to be deaf was when Ezie had a dirty diaper and Z said “at least it doesn’t bother SJ because she can’t smell since she is deaf”

5. Z had been wanting a “cap like daddy”. He really wanted a blue cap specifically. So when he found this hat he knew it was the one because it is blue and says “cap” on it. 
Eventually I told him the truth about it being the letter “G” and spelling Gap. From that point on he called his hat a Gap and will say things like “I think I’ll wear my Gap today”.

6. A conversation about the 50 States project
    Me: “Z, did you know uncle Brandon posted your video on the internet?”

    Z: “Did he post it on our internet too?” 

7. This next conversation happened in the car and was in reference to Z’s keen sense of direction. 

J: Z, in 10 years I don’t know if I’m going to be able to hold a candle to you.
Me: I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold a candle to you in a year.
Z- Well in 3 months you are both going to be lighting a candle on my cake and giving me a card because that is when my birthday is. 

8. A random conversation out of the blue


   Z- Mom, cars are expensive right? 
   Me- Yes
   Z- and important? 
   Me- Yes
   Z- I’m going to get one when I’m 20.
   Me- Sounds good.

9. Then there was this akward conversation before I just recently started letting him go to some public restrooms alone 
Z: SJ has to poop a lot
me: Why do you think that?
Z: Because she never stands up


10. Most recently while at Party City Z found a big number 6 candle. He grabbed it and thought we should get it. I said “I dont know. Don’t you want to blow out six candles instead?” (Its cheaper and we already had some.) He got excited and said yeah that’s a great idea! Then he went to grab 5 more of the number six candle.

Thanks for laughs little man!