I finished up reading Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel just in time to drop it off at the library on the due date. I learned a lot from this book as a parent and as a Christian. Grace based parenting is basically the opposite of fear based parenting. This could be operating out of fear for your children, or causing your children to react out of fear of you. This summary from page 213 really puts it all into perspective.

“Grace-based parenting is not a checklist for parenting; it’s a lifestyle. It’s a clear attempt to retrofit your minds to respond to your children in the same way God responds to you;. Being different, vulnerable, and candid isn’t something you do as a grace based family; it’s something you are. “

More than anything reading Grace Based parenting got my wheels turning even if it wasn’t principals straight out of the book. First of all the number one best thing I can do for my kids is be an example. I won’t be perfect and I will have to admit that and even ask forgiveness (which I have had plenty opportunities for already). But there is no way I can teach them and want them to succeed in a way that I am not holding true to in my own life.

Second my goal is not to raise good kids. My goal is to teach and equip my children for the real world as adults. I had a dog that I trained to do tricks, perform on command, and obey certain cues, but my children are not dogs. It’s tempting sometimes to want them to do what I say because they know better and to look like upstanding citizen out in public, but if it’s all just a bag of tricks then it amounts to nothing. Some people are completely against any kind of bribes, but lets face it there is usually a reward when it comes to performance. Some people are against warnings. My thoughts are that you can give too many warnings, but in reality if I was an adult that never got any warnings or second chances I would have failed at a lot of the things that I have been able to accomplish. With every discipline, praise, or instruction I am trying to lead with the big picture in mind.

I am a 3 year old when it comes to motherhood because that’s the age of my oldest son, and I am totally aware of that. I am sure I will look back and see how ignorant I was, but by the grace of God I can raise up children to love, serve, and live out the amazing plans that the Lord has for them.