For some reason I had this misconception that once you have three kids you can add any number of children to the chaos and you don’t even notice.
There is a difference between three and four kids though. Comedian Jim Gaffigan says about having a fourth child-
“After the third kid people stop congratulating you. Then they just treat you like you’re Amish. If you want to know what it’s like having a fourth just imagine you are drowning and then someone hands you a baby”
I am now four years into this four kids gig and somehow I have managed to keep my head above water. So, I want to help other moms do the same.
Ten things you may need when adding a fourth baby to your family
1. Bigger vehicle
For us this meant going from an SUV to a minivan. Maybe you already have a minivan. Go ahead and upgrade anyway. Once you realize that your kids have friends or the grandparents want to ride along for some outings, or you have a pet or a science fair display you might as well get a 15 passenger van.
2. Warehouse Store Membership
Even before the baby comes you will spend more on groceries because if you’re pregnant or breast-feeding that is equal to feeding a family of seven. Also, those other three kids are getting older and they’re eating more. What once was weeks worth of eggs or grapes suddenly only lasts for one day. I remember when a loaf of bread looked like the slices went on forever. Now I just dump the bag out and start the PB&J assembly line. That should hold us over while we are at the zoo.
3. A Second Fridge or Deep Freezer
When you have four kids you will want to file a complaint wherever you got your refrigerator. You will swear that they sold you a mini fridge but it turns out it’s a regular size refrigerator. For a family of six you will come home from the grocery store and have no way to store all of the food. It’s time to get on Craig’s List and make space in the garage for a second fridge.
4. A Universal Name
You need a whistle or a clever thing to shout when you want all of your kids to come to you. I am not super creative in this area. I just scream “BUSCH KIDS!!!” like it’s a dinner bell. Or better yet, you could combine all for their names into one. For example, if their names are Boston, Claire, Olivia, and Trenton it could be Bo-Clair-Liv-Tren because that’s what is going to be coming out of your mouth anyway. You will always call the child by the wrong name or combo names. If you have a dog they will probably end up in the mix too.
5. Get a Second Job
It may not start out seeming like this baby is going to cost you hardly any money. If insurance covered the birth and you’re breastfeeding and you already have hand-me-downs then you are all set, right? Eventually it starts accumulating though. Trust me. Just getting teachers gifts and birthday party gifts for their friends is enough to have you scrambling under the couch cushions for the loose change.
6. Quit Your Second Job.
Forget what I said about number 5 because between sick days, parent-teacher meetings and everything else, you have to be available way more often than you thought. Also, you realize that child care workers get paid more than you do.
7. More silverware
This might seem logical because you have more mouths to feed, but it actually has nothing to do with the number of people in your household. You will need more silverware because yours will end up in the trash or chewed up by the garbage disposal or used as a shovel in the backyard. With four kids you always need more silverware.
8. Good Insurance
You will be at the doctor all the time. I know essential oil people think they are exempt because they can make special potions that ward off all the illnesses of the world, but even if your child isn’t sick you’ve got 6 people in the family so that’s 12 dentists appointments. Then you’ve got your ob-gyn checkups, baby checkups, annual well-child checkups etc. Then if you have any children that need glasses or sports exams or stitches or braces you are probably going to feel like you are always making and going to appointments. You will know what is inside the issue of People Magazine every week because you are a waiting room regular.
9. A Brave Babysitter
Remember when you had one adorable baby cooing and smiling at every passing onlooker? Back then people were competing against one another to get a chance to babysit. Pick me! Pick me! I want to cuddle the baby for hours. Call me anytime! These days the onlookers have more of the expression you would see on people witnessing someone take out the trash and have the bag split wide open spilling garbage everywhere. Your friends and family are no longer begging to babysit. Even if they were, my criteria for a sitter is a lot more stringent than it was with three. I want everyone to survive. This job is not for the faint of heart.
10. New Coffee Maker
We used to have a cute little french press until the fourth baby came along. That’s when we upgraded to a coffee maker. Keurig’s not going to cut it. You need a 12 cup pot that you can brew to the tippy top first thing in the morning and then let the liquid flow all day long. A full night’s rest is ideal, but it’s not happening… ever again. So caffeine is your friend.
If you do all of these things you will be totally ready to go from three kids to four! I know it sounds like a lot of work, but the cool thing about having four kids is that they each have a buddy to play with and keep them entertained so that you can go take a bubble bath and read a good book. Just kidding. Do not believe this myth.
Seriously though, I love my four kids and wouldn’t trade them for the world. Four kids is a lot but the world would be an even bigger responsibility.