I can’t believe I now have a decade of parenting under my belt. No more rookie status for this Messy Mom; I’m going Pro. Actually, I’ll save that status for mothers of teenagers, but I think I’m ready for semi-pro. Yeah, that’s me. One decade of experience. I’ve finally found my footing, even if it is on top of a few legos. Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned along this motherhood journey so far.
1. You don’t need all the junk they market to parents.
If I were stranded on a deserted island to raise my children and could choose three things to have with me I would pick
- The Bible
- A double stroller
- Chocolate chip cookies
and I would have it all delivered by Amazon and repurpose the box. I could totally live with that.
2. Moms aren’t the only ones who can have an appreciation for mini vans.
They are also well received by the hundreds of cars that will NOT have their sides dinged by careless children abruptly exiting a vehicle. You’re welcome.
3. There is no amount of admiration that compares to what you feel watching your precious angel child sleep peacefully…
and the most frustration you will ever feel is often the moments leading up to that point.
4. Don’t tell kids ahead of time when a fun thing is happening.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT announce a fun upcoming activity until you are ready to listen to your child ask/talk about said activity incessantly until the moment the activity actually takes place.
5. Kids are fast.
Turn around for one minute and suddenly they’ve climbed on top of the counter and devoured half a sleeve of Oreos. They can run in the library at Olympic level speed while you “whisper scream” at them to walk. When I get tired of chasing my kids I hold onto the hope that it will all pay off someday in the form of some kind of athletic scholarship.
6. Kids are slow.
Forget what I said in #5. All of my dreams of a scholarship or college in general disappear when I see how slow my children move when we are trying to get out the door. Or when we are in public and someone needs to get by and says excuse me. I try to coerce the child who suddenly has a fascination with the ceiling and has lost the ability to understand English in that moment. Time to bring in the arm yank.
7 .Eating out at a sit-down restaurant is like going to the dentist.
It’s a great way to spend a lot of money on a painful experience.
8. Children aren’t afraid to tell it like it is.
Like when your four year old needs a new pair of glasses and you have a terrible experience at the eyeglass store. You walk away venting about how bad the service is and that you will never come back to that establishment again. Then an hour later when the frames are ready you go back in to pick up the glasses and the child shouts loud enough for the entire store to hear, “I thought you said you would NEVER come back to this place again!”
9. Your “mother-age” is the age of your oldest child.
When you have your first child they are a newborn and you are a newmom. When your child is 5 you are a 5 year old mom. Keeping this in perspective allows us moms to cut ourselves some slack. Now that I am a 10 year old mom I am starting to get pretty confident at this gig, but I’m still young. I’m still learning and I am also getting ready to go through a lot of hormonal obstacles, i.e. puberty!
10. Now I understand what my parents went through and how awesome they are.
Hopefully my kids will also have this same epiphany, even if it does take 20 years, give or take.