I know the Keep Calm memes got old a while ago, but it really does apply here!
We’ve discussed loving responses for mistakes and emotional outbursts. We also talked about how empathy is so much more effective than anger when disciplining a child. Today I am going to touch on how and why you should keep calm when your children are really pushing your buttons.
have taken from reading Love and Logic and Loving Our Kids on Purpose is
take anything they throw at me without breaking a sweat. I can do this by replacing anger and frustration with
assertive yet kind actions.
inspirational model of power that omits
the usage of fear, threats, and intimidation as the motivating factor!
this Teachable Parenting method is that the way to avoid the struggle is to
suggest that you are not intimidated by the child’s tantrum or defiance. You don’t have to puff out your chest, shake your finger, and yell, (or growl, I’ve tried growling). You just have to be an example of
steadfast self control, and then follow through with the appropriate consequence. So on one hand you have parenting that demands control by proving that you are superior and can overpower your children. On the other hand you have Teachable Parenting which gains control by exhibiting self control in the midst of your children. So it is great that I am writing this because I can have hundreds of people hold me accountable for the countless times I do not practice what I preach.
if they break my heart, I’m still their mom and I will always love them. So in those moments of disrespect the best thing you can do is break that cycle and instead of taking the bait try turning the gears of honor in it’s place. As Danny Silk says in
Loving Our Kids on Purpose
goals that you have in being a parent rests in the ability to tell yourself what to do and do it no
matter what they’ve done or are doing. Can you manage you no matter what your kids are doing? Just as God is able to say
to us, we want to be able to say to our kids, “I will be a loving and
respectful parent no matter what you do.”
The model of Christ in our lives has to be real and it has to sink in. Do you
believe it? Do you believe that God is a loving God that is there for you no
matter what? I keep referencing 2 timothy 1:7. Do you believe that the spirit of fear isn’t in
you, but one of power, love, and a sound mind. Do you believe that Jesus paid the price and he is ready
to handle anything that you throw at him (1 John 2:2 ). Or That nothing can separate you
from him (Romans 8:37-39) and He wants
you to draw near to him even, in your darkest time (Hebrew 10:19)? Because
when you really begin to know God and trust him in every area he changes you from the inside out. I want my children to know these Biblical truths.
Just remember, God is not intimidated by you or your disrespectful child. He has
equipped you as a parent and you can do this!