From the moment I started a blog many people have assumed I have an online diary where I divulge every juicy, or more likely boring detail of my life. Those people are mistaken. There is so much that I don’t talk about. I just recently started (in tiny increments at a time) watching Call the Midwife. It’s a historical drama based off of Jennifer Worth’s Memoirs from her time studying and practicing midwifery in the slums of East England. She has some pretty incredible stories. I’ve got the book on hold at the library. I would love to write memoirs someday. I’ll tell stories of living in a fog. It will be riveting, heartbreaking, and heartwarming. There will be a nail biting climax and I will testify about how I stepped out onto nothing and God allowed my dreams to materialize beneath me. I hope to share that. For now I am just searching the barren cupboards of my soul for some mustard seed belief.

I hate to sound so glum. The truth is I could change every word in the previous paragraph to “blessed” and it still wouldn’t be enough to tell of just how blessed and fortunate I am. For those that don’t know here is a really brief, not even cliff notes worthy, glimpse of my story. We lived in Texas. We had jobs, we had a house, we even had chickens. We left all of that to be near my family and see what the Lord had for us in Northern Kentucky. Within months after moving in with my parents we found out that we were pregnant and that our 2 year old daughter, SJ, was deaf. Since then we have moved in with my brother and his wife so that we could get SJ into a good school that is about 30 miles from where they live.

The other day we were having a conversation with Z about people in need and I explained that there are some people that don’t have homes and he responded “Like us?” Hearing your 5 year old describe himself as homeless can kind of knock the wind out of you. We may not own or rent a home, but we definitely have a roof over our heads (a nice one). There are so many people that can’t say that. There are plenty of people that are unemployed that don’t have loved ones to take them in.

That being said, it’s time to find a place. I humbly ask that you would join us in prayer. This is the biggest spiritual mountain I’ve ever had to see moved in my lifetime. My husband needs a job desperately! He’s been able to do temp work here and there. Between the odd jobs, savings, and even help from things I am too proud to mention medicaid and food stamps we’ve been able to get by, but it’s been a year and half now and we are ready for some stability. Until we can move to Ohio we have to privately pay for SJ’s school, not to mention the hundreds of dollars of gas we put in our car each month just to get her there. Z starts school in the fall so our goal is to be moved by then. Finding a job that can sustain a family of 5 and a place to live in 3 months is not looking too realistic.

I don’t like talk about that aspect of our lives. I wouldn’t mind if it was a part of my memoirs and I could tell you how it all turned out, but as far as the present tense, it just makes me uncomfortable. However, I felt compelled to open up and I do appreciate the prayers. When the storm has passed and the battle is won we’ll look back and see how far we’ve come

An instagram photo from a week ago when we went hiking